Posted by borednbeautiful Posted by VenusAquarius
I'm 48 years and 17 days old and my desires and needs have changed at least three times.
I manifested my husband and we were divorced for a time. He's mutable and tries to keep up with my desires and needs. He's trying to be a caring nurturer that i need as I age. If he can't... Lords knows...
I could have manifested someone each time my desires and needs changed. I know it. But, I feel guilty being a heartbreaking man-eater. I was my unadultered self whenever single.
At this age, if single, I know they'd try to play me. And because I don't give a fuck to my core.... I would be more seductively, and perhaps righteously, brutal.
I have contemplated nunery. To be completely real... the only perfect man is Jesus.
I am contemplating nunery too. Or living in a Buddhist monastery. It can be Orthodox too.
Btw, how did you manifest your husband? Did you regret it?
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Through reading books and falling in love with particular male characters... I would close the book momentarily to swoon and dream for a while...and pray. I would do this from 5th grade on... I was encouraged to do it as a young woman in church. I am an artist and was a "gifted" child because of it. Among many things drawn as a child, I drew various versions of the family I wanted from 3rd grade on. I drew my last drawing of a husband in college.
No, I do not regert. It was that young woman's, that I was, desire. And, he tries to adapt and change like a drawing. As with drawing, when it's not turning out like you want, you wanna throw it away and start over.
I think alot about what I was thinking when I was 20. Was shorti-sighted in some areas. But, there's no way to plan that far. And desires are more intense when young; it's biological. My core values are met in this relationship.