Gem03 joined March 09, 2017
Message Board Posts
- we crave what we lack....I'm an air sign woman to the bone. Sun+moon+mars in Gemini, venus aries. But I crave security and stability. My mind runs 389238290mi/hr. I need someone to ground me. Which is why I am attracted to earth sign men.
This virgo sun+moon+mercury+venus man I was dealing with purposefully kept dumbass, off the rails friends. He would love to talk shit about them but it was v v obvious he enjoyed their company. He would never partake in whatever they are doing tho. I'm assuming since he was so secure and stable, he wanted the occasional chaos. - This is sad....I know what its like to crave someone. But you have understand that you can't blindly chase someone out of desperation. That ain't right. As a woman keep a rule: If you have to chase him then he doesn't want you.
This man left because he saw the crazy in you. - IM PROUD OF YOU OMG!!!
- I'm sorry but if that fucker gave a shit about his kids he would know that separating kids from their mom is the worst way to scar them. How old are your kids and do they whats going on?
- @OP: Regarding virgo men, They def have perfect public personas. But when they lash out its to bury you lol. If you go toxic and low they will go to HELL, they are petty. Best way to deal with them is with grace and acknowledge that THEY are right lol. So they can't be dicks about it. For my situation-ship, when I let go of a virgo man, I admitted he was right when he said he wasn't ready. I went over the good things within our dynamic. But stood my ground. With earth signs in general they view respect in higher regard than anything else. So respect his stance on you and let go.
- he is literally using you as a hole....I hate being mean but stop being so naive. Move on from this man
The user who posted this message has hidden it.
Posted by smiley_smiles
Posted by Gem03
Move on to someone who you want to be with not to show HIM anything lol. You keep letting him rule your life. Its so bad. Ms.girl please don't do it.
He maybe feeling that I don't have anyone whom I can love more than him, I will show him how little he means to me, and how best the other person means to meclick to expand
You keep making it about him and thats the problem here.
-_____-- Move on to someone who you want to be with not to show HIM anything lol. You keep letting him rule your life. Its so bad. Ms.girl please don't do it.
Posted by smiley_smiles
Posted by blackphvse
Posted by smiley_smiles
Posted by blackphvse
Posted by smiley_smiles
Posted by blackphvse
Posted by Lostthoughts
Posted by smiley_smiles
Posted by Lostthoughts
Posted by smiley_smiles
Posted by blackphvse
Posted by smiley_smiles
Posted by blackphvse
Posted by smiley_smiles
Posted by blackphvse
Well you said it was a mistake.. clearly he feels the same way. But if you feel it was a mistake, why are you so caught up on why he acting like he don't know you?
I am getting angry on his behaviour now so i said that why even i was in situationship and i'm feeling it as an unnecessary thing happened
Oh, so you didn't feel it was a mistake at the time? Just now because of how he is acting, I get it.
None of us can tell you why he is acting that way. It could be for many reasons.. but he ain't worth your energy fretting over if this is the game he's playing.
i didn't expect that he is this much coward
Wait, I remember now. Is this the dude whose family was super controlling and not letting you talk to him?
yes
I remember talking to you a few months back about this guy.
MOVE ON. HE MADE HIS CHOICE AND IT WAS NOT YOU.
To top it off the way he is doing it, is completely disrespectful and demeaning. Almost mean spirited.
How can you still be persuing a relationship with this someone who treats you this way? It makes you look just as bad.
STOP IT AND MOVE ON.
whatever his reasons are, he is just disrespecting me for his family members. he is not standing by my side and don't want to go against them I guess, whatever it is i am ready to move on from him, but i am unable to digest his cousin's insult still
His cousin's insults are a reflection of his decision and they way he handled it. As well as a reflection of the way you handled the situation yourself. Which is poorly.
Why would you pursue a relationship you call "situationship" so hard? You need to take some time to answer this question within yourself.
I'm starting to think this a troll. Her replies aren't even making sense. Everything we say is going in one ear and out the other. She either a troll or completely hopeless.
his cousin didn't wanted me to speak with him because he felt i am a distraction to him, his cousin didn't even let me talk with him but on my request he made me talk because his cousin was misunderstanding me and i wanted to clear off all with him before his cousin only and he was making me feel like he don't remember me and as i'm chasing him, i made him admit the truth that he knew me and he said that he'll talk to me later, and his cousin was getting angry on him and shouting at him, is she your lover, and he cutted the call immediately and told me to check my messages when I asked when he will speak to me next, i just wanted to ask him truths personally, but i didn't get a chance, he stressed the word that he'll talk to me later, later, and suddenly after cutting the call, i received this message that never call me or text me again plz, and i was shocked, how mean reply, and who might have given it, idk, but it was unpleasant situation to be in. and i'll never forgive him, and move on as fast as possible with someone else just to prove him wrong!
No, please listen to me. Moving on with someone else is literally the worst idea for you right now. You have a lot of personal growth to do if you want a happy and stable relationship. You don't want to go through this shit all over again do you? Just take some time to focus on yourself, you're not going to attract the right type of men acting like this dear.
i have many people back of me, i can get a new one easily, he will be the loser who acted as if he don't know me
Nah hunny, if that's how you're gonna play it, you'll be the loser. Trust me.
He'll find a woman eventually and you'll still be stuck in this perpetual loop of not being treated right because you don't value yourself.
no he will be a loser because he don't know how to keep me, and i will show him how much better someone treats meclick to expand
I understand your sentiment but this will only lead you to getting more emotionally involved, may/may not cause toxicity and leave you bitter. Trust me. Some men are not worth the dirt on your shoe much less a space in your mind.- As someone who JUST got out of a draining situationship with a virgo man. If he cared for you and liked you he would never disrespect you in any capacity, cuz he'd be blowing his chances. Regardless of his zodiac. If a man wants you he will move earth and the moon to be with you. BUT You can be the right package at the wrong address.
My advice would be stop obsessing over him, let go in peace. Who cares if he doesn't acknowledge you anymore? It was never a relationship. Don't give him that kind of power.
I get that you are sensitive to it right now. I remember how every little, minuscule thing the virgo man did I would feel something. He affected me that way, I was sensitive. It was bad. I'm out of it now and I'm like nah I want my man to be my peace as much as I am his. It goes both ways. - Also I know he wasn’t trying I literally said that, I wanted to see what hed do to keep me. But he didn’t do much (I literally said this in one of my posts just read)
I knew he wasn’t into me as I was into him so I peacefully let go.
-_____- Posted by Moloko_vellocet
Posted by Gem03
When I chose to let go I sent him this on Sunday night:
"I thought about everything. More than my feelings for you, I truly appreciate you. You’ve been there for me when I needed you and without judgment.
I want you to be happy, be safe and 100% sure when/if you enter a relationship (be it me or anyone else). Issue is I fell for you, hard. Your heart isn’t into it and you have a major fear of commitment. While I want someone who is 100% all in with me. I will only enter a relationship if we are both all in. If not then its a useless title. You are not in a mindset where you can give me that and that is okay. That is valid.
My intent was never to force something. I didn’t pick up on how emotionally taxing it was for you.
Right now you and I want different things for ourselves. I remember how you brought up that you were worried i might hate you if things don’t work out. I am not upset or angry with you and I could never hate you. I want nothing more than for you to be happy. Honesty and communication go a long way with me. I’d like to think you’ve been honest with me and thats what I respect the most.
I just want you to know. If we find our way back to each other later on (10 weeks, a month or couple months)…in a relationship with each other or just as platonic friends, thats okay too. Im leaving the door open. There are exactly 3 people in my life I was able to open up to, you’re 1 of them. So, I’m hoping we do. For now I think both of us could use space from each other. Let me know what you think."
It’s like you think he read all that mushy shit.
He showed up because he wanted sex.
You risked covid for cuddles.
Sorry don’t think he’s really trying. You’re making it more than it is to validate your idealismclick to expand
No....we never did anything sexual. He knows Id only have sex in a relationship. But he has spent the night at my place, I spent the night at his and nothing happened. We were seeing each other every week after we started talking in January. Also Im vaccinated so meh.Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by Gem03
Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by Gem03
Posted by LadyNeptune
You: If we find our way back to each other later on, 10 weeks, a month or couple of months...
Him: omw
LMFAO
But I wanted things to be easy and gentle. I am very emotional and sensitive. If I was ever invested in you which takes a LOT, I can't ice them out completely. Im not cold hearted (I wish I was).
Frankly if his heart was in it, he was ready, I could see us working out. But the sneaky shit he pulled and being fickle were the nails in the coffin.
His heart wasn't in it. But his dick wanted to be.
I doubt he thinks this is the end and the last hangout. After your big ole speech about you cutting him off you let him come thru and cuddle on up.
True, I am doing my best move on. I have an upcoming date this Sunday. I am meeting other people. Spending time with people who care about me. I think I was just drowning in him without a lifeline. I'm low-key happy I didn't let him hit. Never did anything sexual. I didn't want to. Also, I have a feeling he'll pursue the Girl A and see how it goes. He's most likely busy with his roster lol.
if he does hit me up after a couple weeks or months and goes "I'm free on this day" I'll probably be like "Oop I have a date that day" Welcome to my roster bitch
jkjk (but not really).
When I let him come I was testing him tbh. He failed. I wanted to see if he meant the 14-day quarantine thing or was fucking with me. He was fucking with me lol. I wanted to sit back and see what he would do to keep me, he didn't do much tbh. My absence doesn't phase him, but his absence killed me. That ain't right so i was like you gave me the answer I needed.
I give chances, I really should stop that. I don't keep my options open when I talk to someone. I need to keep my roster until I have a title.
Ultimately you are walking away with your dignity intact and having learned a little bit more about yourself and your boundaries. I call that a win.
These guys come into our lives for a purpose and a season.
The age excuse is bs too. If a man wants you he will move heaven and earth to be with you.click to expand
Facts, its not the first time a guy has told me he likes me and it won't be last. I know what it feels like when a guy has made up his mind about wanting to be with you.
I think this is the devil twin in me but my mind was made up about letting him go about 90% before I let him come over. Not 100% , I wanted him to put in a fraction of the effort I put in into making us work. What made it better was the eye appointment lol
The only way he could have fully reversed the situation was , be transparent about that picture why he posted it and why she posted it, why the comments from his friends. Tell me about the miami trip and why he didn't tell me about it beforehand. Thorough apology for being fickle with his commitment to me and throwing a tantrum when he broke it off after 2 days, making me think it was my fault. Take me out on a date and ask me out officially then post us on instagram and tag that bitch. Why? Bc I have a petty streak
None of that happened.Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by Gem03
Posted by LadyNeptune
You: If we find our way back to each other later on, 10 weeks, a month or couple of months...
Him: omw
LMFAO
But I wanted things to be easy and gentle. I am very emotional and sensitive. If I was ever invested in you which takes a LOT, I can't ice them out completely. Im not cold hearted (I wish I was).
Frankly if his heart was in it, he was ready, I could see us working out. But the sneaky shit he pulled and being fickle were the nails in the coffin.
His heart wasn't in it. But his dick wanted to be.
I doubt he thinks this is the end and the last hangout. After your big ole speech about you cutting him off you let him come thru and cuddle on up.click to expand
True, I am doing my best move on. I have an upcoming date this Sunday. I am meeting other people. Spending time with people who care about me. I think I was just drowning in him without a lifeline. I'm low-key happy I didn't let him hit. Never did anything sexual. I didn't want to. Also, I have a feeling he'll pursue the Girl A and see how it goes. He's most likely busy with his roster lol.
if he does hit me up after a couple weeks or months and goes "I'm free on this day" I'll probably be like "Oop I have a date that day" Welcome to my roster bitch jkjk (but not really).
When I let him come I was testing him tbh. He failed. I wanted to see if he meant the 14-day quarantine thing or was fucking with me. He was fucking with me lol. I wanted to sit back and see what he would do to keep me, he didn't do much tbh. My absence doesn't phase him, but his absence killed me. That ain't right so i was like you gave me the answer I needed.
I give chances, I really should stop that. I don't keep my options open when I talk to someone. I need to keep my roster until I have a title.- He didn't expect ME to let go bc since January I have been genuine, consistent, open to working out problems, acknowledging my mistakes if I make em, being loyal.
He wants to enjoy being single but keep me around bc he is comfortable with me. He broke it off not bc we were having problems but somewhere in his conscious he KNEW he couldn't be on a trip with 3 other single women by himself while he has a gf. I wouldn't allow it (both of us are possessive in relationships).
A part of me wanted to rip him a new one and be a toxic bitch but I was like no "Kill him with kindness and grace, I won't tarnish who I am by being toxic over a confused little boy". Posted by Lostthoughts
Posted by Gem03
Posted by Lostthoughts
Posted by Gem03
You wanna know what's funny? He came back on Friday from Miami then we first talked on Saturday.
Him: "I miss you too"
Me: "Come see me you know my address"
Him: "Lol do you not care about the 14 day quarantine thing? I like you so I will stay away"
Sunday: I send him that wall of text being like lets take space and I'm letting go of my feelings
Monday: This man drives an hour, half blind from his eye appointment to come see me.
I let him come, I wanted the last time we hung out to be a decent memory. We cuddled and kissed. It was obvious he wanted to mend things and have me forget about taking space. Before he left I said those things in person to him so they are permanent and I am able to let go.
Like less than 24 hours ago you were concerned about the damned 14 day quarantine??? WHAT happened
- Taking things for granted
- Not knowing what something means to you until it's gone.
- Being obvious to your own feelings or ignoring them.
Heart vs. Mind
- Motivation and attachment level
If someone is not interested or doesn't want to put in the effort that is ASKED for...actions speak louder then words yes?
If you don't learn how to value and maintain healthy relationships you want earlier in life then you learn the things above the hard way though lose later....Or grow jaded🙃
To be fair woman pull the same shit too. I know your just venting but I still want to point that out. No one is innocence of this.
That being said, what stood out to me regarding your story was him driving "...hour, half blind from his eye appointment to come see me." That isn't a normal action under those conditions. He obviously did care because that isn't a low effort action. The fact he did that and you still continued to break up means to me, the level of interest/attachment on your end wasn't stronger then the transgressions or your needs/expectations of him. I question your interest and desire for him in the first place. Most people would see that and give them another chance. Is this true or were their other things bothering you besides this?
If you wanna entertain yourself with an emotional rollercoaster here's the FULL detailed story: https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/virgo/virgo-sun-moon-man-i-dont-know-what-to-do-14544917/?p=7
The gist is this:
We were friends for years. It started early 2020 we had a talking stage it didn’t work out so we stayed friends but we both had feelings for each other in October he told me he loved me and asked me if I loved him. I said no then a week later I cut him off bc it wasn’t going anywhere. He came back after 3 weeks of no contact. We stay somewhat more than friends, he says he isn’t ready for a relationship and he is a bit cold to me. But I let it be. Then in January 2021 he wanted to try talking again.
March 15: He asks me to be his girl i say yes
March 17: he takes it back, he wants to be left alone and says he isn’t ready.
(I didn’t do anything btw, we were cool even after March 15)
March 21: he is on a plane flying out to Miami with only 3 other female friends (Girl A,B,C). A trip he NEVER told me about.
He posts a pic of him and Girl A sitting close at a restaurant. I look at his insta and Girl A posted that same pic on her insta and tagged him. 1 of his closest friends commented “Fav couple”, another friend commented “BEAUTY AND THE BEAST”. I checked Girl B and Girl C's insta, they didn't have pictures with him there. Also he has female and male friends (which i have no problem with) but he has NEVER posted a pic like that and then SHE posts the same thing there. Like nah. All while him and I aren’t talking. I won't compete for a man. Also the most unattractive trait in a man is fickleness.
Last Friday he came back and hit me up. I replied on Saturday. He didn't even want to hang out with me. Him and I have a habit of sending flirty memes back and forth. Even that wasn't there like?
He has virgo sun+moon+mercury+venus with mars leo. I know what its like when an Earth sign man likes you. He won't go over the top or be dramatic. But you won't be able to question his feelings for you. In his gaze, his actions, and his words. Its all there. But this wasn't it.
Ya move on. Remember the qualities that attracted you to him then let him go. He isn't serious about you. Your final letter was legit btw.click to expand
You wanna know what pisses me off he said shit like "Even without title you are my top priority", "Relationships when you are 22 are hard esp with someone who you know it will last with" (baiting me lol), "I do crave you but to an extent".
THE last virgo man I will be dealing with (romantically).- Ma'm with all due respect. LEAVE. Some men aint shit.
You need to know your worth. Also I am convinced a proper relationship only works if the man likes the woman more. If its the other way around then the woman gets used for companionship or pussy or BOTH. Posted by LadyNeptune
You: If we find our way back to each other later on, 10 weeks, a month or couple of months...
Him: omw
LMFAO
But I wanted things to be easy and gentle. I am very emotional and sensitive. If I was ever invested in you which takes a LOT, I can't ice them out completely. Im not cold hearted (I wish I was).
Frankly if his heart was in it, he was ready, I could see us working out. But the sneaky shit he pulled and being fickle were the nails in the coffin.- When I chose to let go I sent him this on Sunday night:
"I thought about everything. More than my feelings for you, I truly appreciate you. You’ve been there for me when I needed you and without judgment.
I want you to be happy, be safe and 100% sure when/if you enter a relationship (be it me or anyone else). Issue is I fell for you, hard. Your heart isn’t into it and you have a major fear of commitment. While I want someone who is 100% all in with me. I will only enter a relationship if we are both all in. If not then its a useless title. You are not in a mindset where you can give me that and that is okay. That is valid.
My intent was never to force something. I didn’t pick up on how emotionally taxing it was for you.
Right now you and I want different things for ourselves. I remember how you brought up that you were worried i might hate you if things don’t work out. I am not upset or angry with you and I could never hate you. I want nothing more than for you to be happy. Honesty and communication go a long way with me. I’d like to think you’ve been honest with me and thats what I respect the most.
I just want you to know. If we find our way back to each other later on (10 weeks, a month or couple months)…in a relationship with each other or just as platonic friends, thats okay too. Im leaving the door open. There are exactly 3 people in my life I was able to open up to, you’re 1 of them. So, I’m hoping we do. For now I think both of us could use space from each other. Let me know what you think."