We went out last night, she looked gorgeous as usual and we danced and had fun. Prior to going out we talked about her circumstances at work and there is a gym there although she doesn't get to it much. And the days are long and tiring. At this point I'm not saying anything because I feel she is still comfortable with herself and don't feel it would accomplish anything. I also think she'll come to her own realisation after hearing her.

At metoo..if you think a better person is one that sticks her head in the sand like an ostrich so be it..if my friends are talked about because of their actions, I will bring it to their attention and I would expect the same because friends that are close can take/receive it from each other. This girl and I are friends for life and something like this will not tear us apart. Think your issues are your own insecurity!

R L, I pick up friends easily. Here I hardly know anyone.

My profession is within the fitness industry...I'm sure I can approach it without losing her respect or being too harsh on her.

You know, you can make all the excuses you want about how hard it is to hear something like this but in all fairness, this is for her/your own good. I don't believe she has low self esteem at all...she's just making poor choices with food because it's easier to just give in to it. I'm sure these places offer the healthy options like cereal and/or bacon and eggs...salads and/or pastas etc. It's all a matter of choice and quantity! And I'm even sure they will have a gym or workout area, I know they do in the mines.

Well, holding on to it could get him talking to you

I think he likes her and will do that anyway

She's never been a small girl, but what is happening is every 3 weeks when she comes home for her break she is clearly getting bigger and bigger.

I personally work out 6 days a week. Most of our friends are all in the gym scene and fitness freaks and she used to go when she lived a normal work life. Remembering her work schedule, 3 weeks away working 21 days straight and only 1 week home catching up on everything and everyone which normally is going out to breakfast lunch or dinner. She obviously will have to WANT to get back into training.

She asked about the gym because I am affiliated with it, and it's 30 mins drive from her work, not sure she was asking to join but I can get her cheap rates so I will ask tonight if she is interested in joining and I will speak to the owners.

I'll feel her out tonight re the weight gain, see if she volunteers the info and if I don't feel like she will take my saying so then I will talk to her sister and get her to speak to her.

Haha aqua...why?

Good for you...I know it's extremely painful but with most of us there is a point of no return...beautiful thing is when they come back after we realise this...glad you could move on without too much indecision...Go Virgo's

I wouldn't like it so I wouldn't do it!

So what does everyone think of K Rudd's gallant return??

Posted by PurrrrrrHissssss
It's fucking annoying and pointless when people think they need to intervene when it comes to obvious things.

"You need to lose weight!"
"You need to gain weight!"
"You need to stop drinking!"
"You need to stop smoking!"

People know. They'll do it when they're ready.

You're wrong, a lot of people need encouragement. They might think or want to do something but they need encouragement from others, people that care about them in order to get there. A friend of mine recently gave up her smoking habit of 20 years...because all her friends encouraged her through years...in the beginning, she had no desire to give it up. She is now 6 months smoke free and I might add is happy to have concurred it!

My daughter just told me recently that my ex while I was with him made me fat...I knew I had put on weight but didn't realise how much and how noticeable. I asked her why she didn't say anything...in hindsight, I think I would have preferred she tell me.

Yes, she knows but I don't think she realises how noticeable it is. I would guess near 2 sizes and 10 kilos in as short as 3 months.

You spent X amount of years with them and then it ended, abruptly, but when thinking back there were signs...things weren't all as you had thought. You go through all the motions of a lost love and learn to deal with it and move on. It has been tortuous especially in the first few months...

6 months to a year they come back! Totally unexpected but then not os because deep down, you knew they would.

What do you do? What is your reaction and what is your sign or what do you think makes you react that way?

Give a BRIEF history of your story, their departure and your reaction when they come back. Also how long they have now been gone.

this all for fun as I see a lot around here of the "come back king/queen" in all signs

Well to be fair, we spoke of a couple of friends that had also put on weight. But we aren't close enough to them to be able to broach the subject.

My own brother is obese and I try all the time with him but can't get through. He thinks that if he exercises a little he can eat what he wants. We went to the gym for almost 2 years together and he trained so hard but never really lost weight and it was because he would go home and have coffee and cake afterwards because in his mind, he earned it. I have tried talking to him about it but that's the way he thinks!

She I believe will be more open to hearing it, it will cut because that subject never gets spoken of unscathed but then it will be up to her to either do something about it or not. I will encourage her all I can.

Even, though...not many would these days. They'd probably sit back and enjoy the laugh!

Wow, what a true gentleman!

Only about as weirded out as you were about him handing you an umbrella without explanation. Possibly he likes you but most definitely a real gentleman so if you get a chance to know him on a more personal level, do it

Remembering though...let him make the moves

Thanks for that Justaleo,

I believe I am being a better friend for being concerned about her weight gain. I mean others will just talk about it and that's horrible!

But last night I noticed when we were out that she was wanting to stay hidden away in a corner and not right in amongst it all.

Posted by scorpio24
what i want to know is what is her job? i saw on your other post you are from australia, me too! im guessing she works in the mines? they get fed heaps!! a few of my male friends do it, they do have gyms on site though!

Similar to the mines but she works in North Qld for Origin (electrical company) She is just in the accounts department so a sit down job. And yes I have a few male friends in the mines and ALL of them get fat because of that life style .

It doesn't help being older too because your metabolism slows down and it's harder to lose weight.

Posted by MilkySoft

Posted by sweethearts
She actually asked about a gym that opened in the area where she is working, i am affiliated with this gym and gyms in general and yes, I believe she may still have a membership here but think she doesn't use it anymore with the new work regime. She spends a lot of time and money when she is home beautifying herself, hair, makeup beauty therapies. She is a gorgeous looking lady.

I know what you are saying, because I know how I would feel having it said to me...what about getting her sister to do it? They are close.

Oh? Well this is good. Why not just bring up the gym again in conversation? Since you are affiliated with it, it shouldn't seem like some big random hint. You could ask her if she's still going, she might confess about how she really wants to get back into better shape or something.

I'm really close to my friends and they know I will be direct about things like this...it's not that I'm critical, I just really care about them and feel responsible if something like this got out of hand.

click to expand

I think her work days are near 10-12 hours and 21 days straight would be quite exhausting plus I also think the gym is a fair trip away. She is working in the outback towns in Australia. And to control weight will need to cut back on calories and do cardio. But I will ask if they have a gym within the compound...I think they should have with this type of work. The other gym is at home but she might have cancelled her membership only being here I week out of the month.

See the hardest part is once you have a healthy appetite, it takes pure willpower to control and stop yourself from overeating. Even being thin, I have days where because of my high protein diet, I loose control and binge eat and can sometimes not satisfy. Last night she power through a huge meal of hamburger and chips even though just before eating it she said she wasn't really hungry!

I know she will understand...I mean she has commented on another friend putting on weight to me and I understand with men it is a totally different approach. But definitely bringing up her work schedule and stress there and the abundance of wrong food is the best angle to take.

Dress shopping clearly points out the weight gain, I know! But tbh, I think she knows just doesn't realise how much.