SassyKiwi

Posted by cake
I think outside perspective can be accurate or totally off.
Red flag varies in size and it depends on the individual, what might be minor to you is a big deal to me.

Yes exactly. We’re so good at calling other peoples’ red flags out on relationship threads that I just wanted to hear more personal experiences with it and how they dealt with it.

Posted by Tayja225
Hope you guys don’t lower your standards because of the pandemic. It’s not worth it

You know I love when people say this because I’d love for them to also define what they think are better standards. Like where is the cut off you know? It was my Taurus friend who mentioned and acknowledged the red flags herself (which I’m proud of, she’s come a long way) but also seems like she is willing to overlook them for the name of love. Mechanisms of interpersonal relationships intrigue me so I like hearing others’ thoughts and experiences.

Posted by thatlibralife

Posted by SassyKiwi

Posted by thatlibralife

Posted by SassyKiwi
Wow ok so it feels like the pandemic has got some people sitting at home all day dreaming up a wedding cause I know a few people who suddenly wanna get hitched as soon as things get better...

First one is my 25 year old Sag cousin. He’s supposedly fallen heads over heels for a girl who has been cutting off communication with him until he proposes to her. So he’s planning to do that within the next few months... funny part? The girl has also been complaining to my other cousin (Sag’s sister) about how my Sag cousin is still hitting up all these other girls on social media... my cousin’s response was simply “welp at least you’re aware of what you’re getting into.” My Sag cousin barely has much redeeming qualities so idk why she’s so worked up over him. He doesn’t work, has been working on his bachelors since forever it seems like. Guess the girl’s sign...

Second one is my 25 year old Taurus friend who’s in love with a 36 year old Leo guy... who has never used a credit card (he uses a debit card *gasp*), claims to have very wealthy family back home in Europa yet supposedly had a struggling young adult life here in America... he’s always hanging out with her family but he has yet to introduce her to his. Straight up sounded to me like a prequel to Ready or Not. To top it off, he has two older brothers in their 40s that are unmarried. Very interested to see how it all unfolds as her and her family are like ready for them to get married already.

All that has got me thinking... we all obviously crave this ideal, perfect relationship in our heads but reality doesn’t work that way. Humans are imperfect and have flaws. All this emphasis on red flags and all these days.. if you really think about it, every individual might at least have one depending on what one considers a red flag. We obviously try to measure the good outweighing the bad. So what are some things that you have accepted/overlooked in relationships that others or society might consider as red flags?

Girl go ahead and tell us the sign of this girl...I’m nosy as heck lol

C’mon it’s one of the cliche emotionally manipulative signs :p

Alrighty then I know...

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Cancer lol 😬

Posted by MrNobody

Posted by SassyKiwi

Posted by MrNobody
You seems to have interest of their own live stories.

Oh totally. Very invested. I grew up with my Sag cousin so he’s more like my brother. I’m genuinely concerned for him cause I don’t know that girl’s real intentions. And my Taurus friend has been my longest close friend so I’m also concerned about her (:

What a live.

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Glad you feel like you’re doing so much better than me in life ❤️

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by Pulsy
He could have family that’s rich in another country just not his. N debit is way better zero debt is nice

Ya wouldn’t be rather use a debit card than a credit card? Means he has $ in the bank. I haven’t used one since uni freshman

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Having a credit score is important for future homeowners, business starters, other major investments, etc. You get approved credit based on your income. It all depends on life style and life goals. If your expenses are low then you can get by cash/debit, however even low expenses on credit instead of debit help build credit score which is unfortunately very important in America.

Posted by Cancer96

Posted by MrNobody
You seems to have interest of their own live stories.

This, and maybe judge your own relationship first, instead of judging others?

If you aren’t in a relationship to begin with, then you shouldn’t be talking lmao.

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Lol this is a discussion board and I will discuss whatever I want. I hope you’ve never given any friends relationship advice because that requires judging. I’m actually married and that happens to also contribute both their desires to get married soon as they literally both expressed that to me at some point lmao.

Posted by Timon

Posted by SassyKiwi

Posted by Timon
Being with a workaholic. On the contrary it pushed me so far to the other side that I thought I wouldn't care about their job when I started dating again. Turns out I'm a snob and it does matter. 🤣 It's not so much the job but I like intelligence and people who doesn't have a university degree here are usually not my type. And getting a degree here it's not like in the states where you have to pay a fortune so the money isn't the problem.

Yeah I think there’s no excuse if it’s pretty attainable. I’m a snob for higher educated people too. I’d personally go through law school, med school, everything if it meant not having to sacrifice my youth. Who knows. Might still end up becoming that one 40 year old in med school some day.

Overall intelligence is attractive but more so emotional intelligence though.

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Emotional intelligence on a guy is a rare gem

Posted by MrNobody
You seems to have interest of their own live stories.

Oh totally. Very invested. I grew up with my Sag cousin so he’s more like my brother. I’m genuinely concerned for him cause I don’t know that girl’s real intentions. And my Taurus friend has been my longest close friend so I’m also concerned about her (:

Posted by nadiasweetie

Posted by SassyKiwi

Posted by nadiasweetie
Yes and accepting red flags and staying in domestic violence relationships because of the quarantine/coronavirus 😭

Awww noo ☹️ Do you have any family nearby that you can stay with instead?

OMG nooooo not me I was worried that was going to seem like I was talking about ME!

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Omg lol thank goodness. You were about to get me all emotional. And yes I’m very aware about the increased violence and abuse during this pandemic. It contributes heavily to my disdain for humanity at times.

Posted by Antiphates

Posted by SassyKiwi

Posted by Antiphates
I think the trick is to find and then engage the right red flags at the right time.

Examples?

Spoiled brat meets emotionally unavailable.
Ideally one red flags utterly shreds the other and vice versa to create the free space where the relationship is built.
Or they bond through integration.
Ultimately it's less the attributes of flags, be they green or red that makes a relationship, but how they react and interact with each other and overcome challanges in order to creat the shared experiences that strengthen the bond.

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Ha I like this

Posted by nadiasweetie
Yes and accepting red flags and staying in domestic violence relationships because of the quarantine/coronavirus 😭

Awww noo ☹️ Do you have any family nearby that you can stay with instead?

Posted by tiziani
Surely we've all gotten with a woman that tried to play the scarcity game, at least one time? Or just me?

Lol I see it work too well too often...

Posted by thatlibralife

Posted by SassyKiwi
Wow ok so it feels like the pandemic has got some people sitting at home all day dreaming up a wedding cause I know a few people who suddenly wanna get hitched as soon as things get better...

First one is my 25 year old Sag cousin. He’s supposedly fallen heads over heels for a girl who has been cutting off communication with him until he proposes to her. So he’s planning to do that within the next few months... funny part? The girl has also been complaining to my other cousin (Sag’s sister) about how my Sag cousin is still hitting up all these other girls on social media... my cousin’s response was simply “welp at least you’re aware of what you’re getting into.” My Sag cousin barely has much redeeming qualities so idk why she’s so worked up over him. He doesn’t work, has been working on his bachelors since forever it seems like. Guess the girl’s sign...

Second one is my 25 year old Taurus friend who’s in love with a 36 year old Leo guy... who has never used a credit card (he uses a debit card *gasp*), claims to have very wealthy family back home in Europa yet supposedly had a struggling young adult life here in America... he’s always hanging out with her family but he has yet to introduce her to his. Straight up sounded to me like a prequel to Ready or Not. To top it off, he has two older brothers in their 40s that are unmarried. Very interested to see how it all unfolds as her and her family are like ready for them to get married already.

All that has got me thinking... we all obviously crave this ideal, perfect relationship in our heads but reality doesn’t work that way. Humans are imperfect and have flaws. All this emphasis on red flags and all these days.. if you really think about it, every individual might at least have one depending on what one considers a red flag. We obviously try to measure the good outweighing the bad. So what are some things that you have accepted/overlooked in relationships that others or society might consider as red flags?

Girl go ahead and tell us the sign of this girl...I’m nosy as heck lol

click to expand

C’mon it’s one of the cliche emotionally manipulative signs :p

Posted by Antiphates
I think the trick is to find and then engage the right red flags at the right time.

Examples?

Posted by Timon
Being with a workaholic. On the contrary it pushed me so far to the other side that I thought I wouldn't care about their job when I started dating again. Turns out I'm a snob and it does matter. 🤣 It's not so much the job but I like intelligence and people who doesn't have a university degree here are usually not my type. And getting a degree here it's not like in the states where you have to pay a fortune so the money isn't the problem.

Yeah I think there’s no excuse if it’s pretty attainable. I’m a snob for higher educated people too. I’d personally go through law school, med school, everything if it meant not having to sacrifice my youth. Who knows. Might still end up becoming that one 40 year old in med school some day.

Posted by Pulsy
He could have family that’s rich in another country just not his. N debit is way better zero debt is nice

Definitely. But my friend has interest in buying a house soon with him if things work out and that’s difficult to do without credit history. Using credit has fraud protection as well which debit doesn’t. It’s a no brainer to use credit instead of debit unless you lack self control and spend more than you can afford to pay off. Also he was implying his parents and siblings are rich and how his parents have been sending him money whenever these days however he was practically left behind to fend for himself here in America and had to do odd jobs for years after high school to make ends meet... just seems very off to me how parents wouldn’t send their kid money during a time they actually needed it versus now when they’ve got something more stable going on.

Wow ok so it feels like the pandemic has got some people sitting at home all day dreaming up a wedding cause I know a few people who suddenly wanna get hitched as soon as things get better...

First one is my 25 year old Sag cousin. He’s supposedly fallen heads over heels for a girl who has been cutting off communication with him until he proposes to her. So he’s planning to do that within the next few months... funny part? The girl has also been complaining to my other cousin (Sag’s sister) about how my Sag cousin is still hitting up all these other girls on social media... my cousin’s response was simply “welp at least you’re aware of what you’re getting into.” My Sag cousin barely has much redeeming qualities so idk why she’s so worked up over him. He doesn’t work, has been working on his bachelors since forever it seems like. Guess the girl’s sign...

Second one is my 25 year old Taurus friend who’s in love with a 36 year old Leo guy... who has never used a credit card (he uses a debit card *gasp*), claims to have very wealthy family back home in Europa yet supposedly had a struggling young adult life here in America... he’s always hanging out with her family but he has yet to introduce her to his. Straight up sounded to me like a prequel to Ready or Not. To top it off, he has two older brothers in their 40s that are unmarried. Very interested to see how it all unfolds as her and her family are like ready for them to get married already.

All that has got me thinking... we all obviously crave this ideal, perfect relationship in our heads but reality doesn’t work that way. Humans are imperfect and have flaws. All this emphasis on red flags and all these days.. if you really think about it, every individual might at least have one depending on what one considers a red flag. We obviously try to measure the good outweighing the bad. So what are some things that you have accepted/overlooked in relationships that others or society might consider as red flags?

Just entrap them with the female versions and it might all work itself out eh?

Posted by ClassyAquarius

Posted by SassyKiwi

Posted by ClassyAquarius
In my mind "treetrunk off you creep." But then I think about if I won't piss him off and he will find me and kill me. So I left on read.

But wouldn’t he also be pissed off you read and had the audacity to ignore his gracious gesture?

You are right. But blocking can piss him off to. Best way is to make him believe you never got this message

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Deactivate temporarily so he doesn’t take it personal and hops over to focus on the next victim

Posted by ClassyAquarius
In my mind "treetrunk off you creep." But then I think about if I won't piss him off and he will find me and kill me. So I left on read.

But wouldn’t he also be pissed off you read and had the audacity to ignore his gracious gesture?