Last night I called my SO of 8 months my exs name! This is not the first time in fact about the 4th time I have called him it.

My ex and I were together for 20 years and have been separated for 6 but remain good friends. I had that day listened to a conversation my daughter was having with him over my car phone as she rung her dad to tell him she had passed her L's. I am in regular contact and notice if I have communicated with him on that day then that's when I will mistakenly say the wrong name!! Which DOES NOT impress my SO at all. He says, I never call you my exs name and I guess he feels hurt. Yes I'd hate it if he called me her name as she is a Bitch!

The kids just chuckled, they think it is funny even though they love my new man. And it's not as if I do it on purpose or in the bedroom EVER! In fact I always call people the wrong names, I have 3 daughters and always get their names mixed up all the time!

Problem, how do I make a conscience note to not do this again...his reaction is louder each time and all I can say is Sorry, I was talking with him today...

Anyone else experience this?

Not in physical appearance with the ones I have dated but most definately personality. I always seem to stay with the good, kind hearted genuine type guy, the one you can trust when I am attracted initially to the hot bad boy!

After a few convo's with the hot guy I know his intentions and generally end it there.

Happy birthday P

Always remain friends unless they are Sociopaths

That makes sense...put your life on hold for your children! Don't believe in that at all...one day they will walk out the door and not look back. Plus how many have tried to tell one of their own that their choice of partners wasn't a good choice? What was the result??

I am seeing this happen right now.

My ex's new lady is hated by one of my children and she has done everything to split them up even try and get the other two onside and almost did. I haven't heard anything that justifies my daughters actions and her dad continues seeing her.

In contrast, all my children love my partner and go into bat for him should we have issues. Even if they didn't feel this way towards him, I know him well enough to make the decision for myself. I see a good man and I see this by the way he is with his own children and people around him.

Of course if the children had any just cause, I would look into it firstly but I will not let them dictate who I see and spend my life with!

When you think there is a relationship happening rather than just casual dating.

If you are still questioning this mans integrity then you don't know him well enough yourself so I wouldn't introduce him to my kids.

Think PD well and truly moved on after this Leeb for sure lol

Hate it when someone pulls up old threads for no apparent reason!

@ Alibra

can you pls add paragraphs to your answers so they are easier to read Always enjoy reading your answers but find it difficult to focus and not read sentences twice over. Ta

Give her space, let her get over herself. She'll realise if you two are good friends that she's acting stupid and jealous and that she is the one missing out on both of you. If she loves you both she'll know that you two could be good for each other...unless she see's or knows for some reason that you wouldn't be...

Keep casual contact with her, stuff like having a coffee at such in such, come join me. And leave her to it.

I'd imagine she'll come back round.

Looks like you were playing to trap him and he picked up on it fast and fled!! He asks you out (he was interested) but then everything you did after made him realise that you were more into him that he into you. You chased and he ran! Had you have let him do the chasing as he originally started then the outcome I'm sure would have been different but you couldn't wait around and had to text him several times. Plus the letter/present thing...not good either.

Don't know your story can't find it, just calling a spade a spade!

Posted by chemengin

Posted by spica
What's your concept of sanity and insanity?

i dont mean crazy or insanity as in schizophrenia or manic bipolar...i mean crazy in the since that you loose your temper ever once in a while or you have crazy dramatic situations in your life that cause you to react in ways that others usually never see.

thats what i mean by crazy. not literally.

click to expand

I have a dramatic life with my family...it drives me crazy and I have found someone that has too much drama around me drains me! I don't like it and can't handle it and when they are going through too much for my liking so I stay away from them!

If your life is full of dramas all the time, I would think that eventually the novelty would wear thin...that's how I would feel personally anywho...

Your question should be "Will this guy change?"

Don't think so and even if you got back together for a few more months or even another year. He'll repeat what has happened previously in your relationship.

Has he owned up to his wrongdoings? Or has he conveniently just ignored because it's just too damned hard to talk about it and resolve and fix it?

These are some of the questions you should be asking yourself. It's almost predictable what's going to happen and you will by then have 2 children and will be back to square 1. Hurting and having to heal all over again.

Stay on good terms for the children but severe him from your heart!

awesome understanding Aleeb!

In contrast, my Leeb man has initiated contact from the get go, relentlessly. He has showered me with gifts and affection and still does after 8 months. It's not that I was playing hard to get but more not sure at first and he's never done the hot cold thing or dropped out for days unless we have both needed space because of a disagreement.

I think you are selling yourself short, if a man really wants you they will go all out and give to and for you and you only. If there is uncertainty there let it go. MAke him step up or step off so that you can find the one that will step up.

Trust me there are plenty of suitors out there, you won't sit not he shelf...sometimes we think that we will miss out because this person in the now we seem to get on so well with but there are dozens like that. Yes they are few and far between but they are there and with patience you will find...don't be in too much of a rush, you seem to be bending over backwards to try and suit him!

This chick is a money grabbing hoe, she already has 2 children to 2 different fathers and has broken up her new partners marriage with his 2 babies under 4 and most likely will have a baby to him too!

I have no time for her whatsoever and it annoys me that she has the audacity to text me thinking that I will take her side against my own partner.

I'd love to be around to see her get her comeuppance!!

But yes, most importantly we get the children still and yes she's just gold digging as she can see what I have and thinks that now he can afford to pay out more!

Yes he is a good man. He has included the son in the parenting plan and we have him legally for visitation. Yesterday he texted her and agreed to paying a figure weekly. She changed her tune very fast...until the next time!

I'm not overly fussed with his decision but it's his to make and at the end of the day we get the kids without problem. But when they come of age they will be told that they can move in with him...then it will be their decision and I know the boy will want to come...wonder how that will go!

Thanks everyone, really needed to release.

I wouldn't reply to any texts, I am fully aware that she thinks he is living the high life and she is paying and that eats her up! And I understand that this is for him to battle it out. I will however back him up on whatever he choses to do even if I don't like it. I personally think he should not lie down anymore and fight her, her way!

The last time she pulled this stunt he went to a solicitor and had the papers of shared care drawn up and she gave him access however, if she decides that he can't have them what can he do?? Go back to the solicitor, she can and will play those silly games that's why I think he should go for the jugular or threaten to take his share of everything and then I'm sure she will back down!!

Her next trick which I think has him frozen is that although he cared and loves the oldest likes his own, and has raised him from near birth. He is NOT the biological father. The biological father has nothing to do with the boy and you would never know my partner wasn't his father. She could stop him having ANY access to him, and tbh I wouldn't put it past her!!!

I fully understand that the kids will know, I've seen it with my own but we don't want to miss out on them growing up. As it is we only get them 2 days out of 14 and then half time in the holidays. She doesn't even allow us to pick them up mid week to take them out to dinner!

Yes I only have his side. He forwards me all her texts and they are always holding the kids over his head if he doesn't do as she is told. The kids have even rang and said daddy just pay and we can come stay with you again.

You see the children have the best time with us, they always want to stay longer, we spend time with them at the pool at the beach and playing with them. We don't throw money at them as she and her partner buy every latest thing out. They have all the computers, camera's iPods, pets, you name it but come school holidays...they are left at home alone and sometimes for 10 hour days and with a pool when staying with her. Don't get me started there because it infuriates me that at 12 and 9 they are allowed to swim unattended and I am wanting to ring the authorities and dob her in!!!

We had them for 3 weeks over Christmas and had the best time. She had them also for the same period and 1 of those weeks they were left alone!

Anyway back to why he won't go for his fair share...I really don't understand, I think it's because of how they split. He was played for a fool and I think that he also thinks that he is leaving it for the children. When he left, he knew there was someone else. She had done it once before and then she moved this guy into their home within a month, into their bed and all!!! I think his pride is injured and most normal people would get mad...however he is Libra and all he wants to do is forget and let karma take it's course, but that isn't easy as she wants more and more.

If she keeps including me and she has insisted by sending me another lengthy text last night...she will be sorry I can guarantee that. I will push for him to take the legal road as she has said again until he starts paying he can't have the kids anymore!!!

Oh and he has tried going through the authorities and she has to lodge a request, til then they won't do anything. I might rind them and find out how much he does have to pay and then get him to deposit that amount each week...there's always more than one way to skin a cat!