My mother's a scorp and I don't think she goes out of her way to say or be "mean" that wouldn't be the word I would use and I've witnessed her in action all my life. She is more selfish and with that doesn't think about what she says before she says it. More what she says is dumb or uncaring or without tact. When in an argument, it'll be me that comes out with mean, perhaps to get a reaction out of her as she also doesn't comprehend the other side in an argument being very one eyed. Maybe it's a mother daughter thing because I don't know many scorps well.

You would come off as unavailable to anyone that you are unavailable to, this was a friend wasn't it?

So why would you give off an available vibe to him or anyone else that you aren't remotely interested in? When someone comes along that you find intriguing trust me that vibe will change for that person!

I think it was his friend that got down on one knee...

he was taking the pun out of his mate who obviously talks a lot about you.

Posted by 69virgo

Posted by sweethearts
I know of 2 couples that were great friends, frequently dining together and accompanying each other with their children to events etc. One day it was exposed that one of the husbands was having an affair with the other wife! It totally blew the families apart and the couple ran off together, leaving all their children to the other partners.

Around a year later the other partners ended up getting together and marrying, to this day they are still happily married and I believe the first couple are also.

Still makes me shake my head, don't know if the children have very much to do with the first couple but it certainly would be devastating all around for them!

I was really talking about a revenge thing,but hey, you never know,...and it is bad for the children ..no matter who cheats first..=\

click to expand

What sweeter revenge for the 2nd couple but to run off and end up happily married?? Makes the first lot have to think...was it there all along and they just didn't act on it??

Best lover, my current and he's lIbra

I know of 2 couples that were great friends, frequently dining together and accompanying each other with their children to events etc. One day it was exposed that one of the husbands was having an affair with the other wife! It totally blew the families apart and the couple ran off together, leaving all their children to the other partners.

Around a year later the other partners ended up getting together and marrying, to this day they are still happily married and I believe the first couple are also.

Still makes me shake my head, don't know if the children have very much to do with the first couple but it certainly would be devastating all around for them!

The thyroid isn't a factor, no problems there and she lives with her partner who buys and cooks the food. He also is putting on weight.

I will write down a healthy eating plan...I'm thinking that maybe they just don't know how to cook anything but fried fatty foods, of course, this isn't the only problem because they do tend to gravitate towards the worst kind of foods. And probably the worst that they do do is drink gallons of sugary drinks like lemonade and orange juices!

@ split

I forgot to add that they stayed with me for 6 months and I live in an area where we have a communal gym and 25 metre lap pool. I work out regularly and they had an easy option to use these facilities and didn't take the opportunity...at all really! So gym membership, I don;t think that will work! They could still use mine if they wanted.

Tiki,

I've just had an idea...tell me if you think it may work...

The other week she was wanting to take my recipe book home, you know how you love your mother's cooking and miss it when you move out of home, so for Christmas I decided to make her a book with all her favourite recipes in it.

Now I'm thinking that I should go back to it and add a healthy eating plan into it. You know breakfast, lunch and dinner ideas or a weekly healthy eating program that I know they can cook and follow or choose simple dishes that will help...

@ Dazed

We had her thyroid checked out when she was put on those diet tablets. Thyroid isn't a factor. Diet tablets were great and killed any appetite however only short term and her weight has plummeted and without exaggeration double in the year since the pills!! The doctor has seen her since and put her on the birth control pill but hasn't mentioned or made mention as far as I know to her weight problem.

@ split

I understand it is a very sensitive issue, especially coming from someone that looks like they easily manage their weight. And yes there are underlining self esteem issues and emotional roots BUT we all have those! She really has the "don't care" attitude...got my man and he loves me the way I am, which in one sense is great BUT in another doesn't help the situation one bit!

I've just had an idea...tell me if you think it may work...

The other week she was wanting to take my recipe book home, you know how you love your mother's cooking and miss it when you move out of home, so for Christmas I decided to make her a book with all her favourite recipes in it.

Now I'm thinking that I should go back to it and add a healthy eating plan into it. You know breakfast, lunch and dinner ideas or a weekly healthy eating program that I know they can cook and follow or choose simple dishes that will help...

I've asked her straight out about pregnancy before and I don't think that is the case. However if it is then their world as they know and love it will come crashing down. She will have no choice but to move back to our homeland as there is No support financially here in our chosen country. Neither of them wants that!

I haven't said anything to her but it's hard to see her week after week and the amount of weight she is putting on. Yesterday she came over and we were at the poolside. She didn't join us in the water, I was playing with my bf and his children. So I went to sit with her and give her a cuddle and have a catch up chat. She started showing me pics of her 5 years ago when she was at her skinniest. Was that a cry out for help right there...I didn't say a thing, I always say it wrong when it comes to weight issues and I feel she's at a point where it has to be taken seriously. She does look like a 8 month pregnant woman. But you see he has put on almost a 1/4 of his weight too since they left only 4 weeks ago!

This must be one of the hardest things to help anyone out with but I'm worried and someway someone has to get through to her.

My 19 year daughter is gaining weight rapidly, I mean I saw her last weekend and 7 days later when I see her again it looked like she had put on a couple kilo's! It was that visible, when I bought it up to my bf he even agreed and said he had thought it may have only been him that noticed. She is roughly 165 lbs, 75 kilos and only 1.52 (5 ft)

I can't say anything, I'm slim built and maybe I'm part of the problem because I've looked after myself physically and always eaten well. I think my girls think it's all too easy for me but No it's not, I work hard at keeping fit and healthy as do most females. I've always supplied good healthy food at my table and taught them to eat healthily as well as indulge on occasion. The other two are fine but this one has the worst eating habits, preferring fried foods, bread with most meals and a very high carb diet. Now she and her partner are in their own place and cooking their own food (which I imagine is lacking in vegetables and mostly fried and cheap fatty meat) Her weight is escalating and so is his! Should I say something to him?

No one in both her dads and my family are obese. His mum is a large woman and mostly due to unnecessarily over eating as with the problem that my girl has.

What are the ways in which I can approach her. She has tried weight drugs from the doctors which had the reverse effect once the pills are stopped. She is mindful of her weight and has talked about the lemon detox and ordering in food diets which are very expensive and she really can't afford them. She refuses to go to weight watchers or Jenny Craig when I mentioned that to her once. She will talk about it but only if she brings it up, I can't approach the subject ( or rather should I say I haven't learnt how to approach the subject without offending her) so in saying that she is aware there is a problem but lacks the strength and commitment it takes to fix it!

Is there any way to get through to someone that they need to seriously look at their weight? Family members? Friends? Boss (whom she likes and respects a lot)?

This must be one of the hardest things to help anyone out with but I'm worried and someway someone has to get through to her.

My 19 year daughter is gaining weight rapidly, I mean I saw her last weekend and 7 days later when I see her again it looked like she had put on a couple kilo's! It was that visible, when I bought it up to my bf he even agreed and said he had thought it may have only been him that noticed. She is roughly 165 lbs, 75 kilos and only 1.52 (5 ft)

I can't say anything, I'm slim built and maybe I'm part of the problem because I've looked after myself physically and always eaten well. I think my girls think it's all too easy for me but No it's not, I work hard at keeping fit and healthy as do most females. I've always supplied good healthy food at my table and taught them to eat healthily as well as indulge on occasion. The other two are fine but this one has the worst eating habits, preferring fried foods, bread with most meals and a very high carb diet. Now she and her partner are in their own place and cooking their own food (which I imagine is lacking in vegetables and mostly fried and cheap fatty meat) Her weight is escalating and so is his! Should I say something to him?

No one in both her dads and my family are obese. His mum is a large woman and mostly due to unnecessarily over eating as with the problem that my girl has.

What are the ways in which I can approach her. She has tried weight drugs from the doctors which had the reverse effect once the pills are stopped. She is mindful of her weight and has talked about the lemon detox and ordering in food diets which are very expensive and she really can't afford them. She refuses to go to weight watchers or Jenny Craig when I mentioned that to her once. She will talk about it but only if she brings it up, I can't approach the subject ( or rather should I say I haven't learnt how to approach the subject without offending her) so in saying that she is aware there is a problem but lacks the strength and commitment it takes to fix it!

Is there any way to get through to someone that they need to seriously look at their weight? Family members? Friends? Boss (whom she likes and respects a lot)?

I have to agree with P, because I've been there too.

Yes the attraction maybe strong, that can be undeniable BUT what you are thinking and what he is thinking are more likely two very different things.

You a relationship...judging by your summary and how you have already sussed out your star signs etc and he's more than likely thinking you'd be a good bang! Guys don't tend to sit and ponder how a relationship with someone would be unless of course they are the exception...which you know if you were because he would relentlessly be chasing you up!

Miss 7 and grandad were colouring in together

Miss 7 : Grandad, when you were a boy did you use to colour in?

Grandad : Yes I did

Miss 7 : Well how come you aren't any good at it then?

Read this ???The Sociopath next Door?? Martha Stout, PHd

I put a thread up on books a few months back. I think anyone has the tendency to be sociopathic but never be cured!

The sex isn't a problem, never had better...I just get a little greedy and a night off is out of the question atm!

LS is more intone to how things are going....everything being too easy and so familiar and seemingly without effort..

We don't really have mutual friends, his friends are single males and I have only met a few. More than that, he works 6 full days up at 5am am doesn't return til 7 pm so I guess a lot of the time he is whacked! I should suggest if he is to tired for loving then he best stay home and rest...now how to put that without offending lol

The alternative weekend, he has just last week started having his 2 children from Friday til Monday morning where I am taking them off to school that morning.

When we go out it is more with my family/friends. I have ample opportunity to go out and party with other friends, mostly my single friends but feel obliged to keep that in check now that I have a partner. We also are total opposites and our friends wouldn't really mix, heavy metallers and pop...if you get my drift.

One thing we do do is go to the local pub to shoot some pool and have a drink together, sometimes catching dinner.

My leeb and I have been seeing each other now for 4 months. Relationship is fairly good, we are a lot alike and although at times it can be unexciting we have lots of moments where we are perfectly in sync and I like that.

Both have been in long marriages previously and fear falling into that cycle...which is a struggle I've found. This last week he has been at my place the entire week. We both wanted to spend this time together even though we had come to a decision a couple of weeks ago that time apart is good and he should stay at his own place on Tues and Wed nights. A chance for him to catch up on his washing, pets, flatmate, house chores and sleep

I am adamant that I don't want a live in and would like to maintain separate living, he on the other hand would be happy to live here or marry me but respects how I feel. Right from the get go we discussed what we both wanted and I said, I want someone to love and love me, he is welcome to stay at mine 6 days out of 7 a week or vice versa but we should have our separate homes and our own spaces. This is the conclusion I have had since my marriage split and I have not, in my mind faltered but then I haven't really been in a relationship for the 6 years since.

He didn't want to fall in love or ever marry again...he has voiced that he wished he had never said that because he feels it now.

The trouble is, Tuesday came around and i wanted him to come over and when he asked if I needed a break last night I said no...and last night it felt like we had been together for 4 years not 4 months. Nothing much to say to each other we ate, slept and he went to work, mundane and boring...

I guess it gets to this stage and I feel unappreciated, I need the loving and attention that he so readily gives to me. And when he's too tired my moods change...

I wonder how compatible we are going to be in the future..already, he's happy to settle in and become the boring married couple and I'm good for that sometimes but I like a spark often and I'm talking more often than not!

How do you cope with the pushing and pulling in a relationship, is it that one always has to take the lead? It feels like a dictatorship at times!

I'm rambling now but it would be good to hear some opinions on how to find a balance in a new relationship.

I agree with you Decs, he will never be the man that she is looking for. Her standards are higher than that but I cannot chose her path as they never listen. I have no fear for my personal relationship with her. I know she loves me unconditionally!

Like me (her mother) she has to learn by her own mistakes, and I'm confident she will when he fails again and agin to meet the mark. I'm not fearful of losing her to Class A drugs they only smoke Marijuana (been there done that in my days)

I just can't sit there and watch it all happening as it does effect me as a mother that has higher expectations.

Thanks for taking the time to reply.

My relationship with all my children is solid, they understand that I have my views and opinions and even though they don't like it, I always let them know it's because I can see the wrongs and love them which is why I won't hold back. I have had therapy earlier this year and was told that they are all of age where I should let go and let them walk there own mile...tough love

I personally think that they both need to step up now. He is learning that the money isn't going to last now that they also have bills and food to buy. This morning they have asked several things of me. Going to court with him because of being picked up without his licence. I dropped him off and left him to it. She is holding his hand and babying him and I have told her that if she continues to do this then he will never take ownership and be the man she wants him to be.

Secondly taking him to the city so he can hand his resume in for a job which apparently is his if he gets there...once again, he needs to sort that out himself and prove he wants the job!

Their house is a mess, they have little food. this morning I had breakfast there, went through the cupboards and cooked me something to eat and then left the mess for them to clean up felt great for the shoe to be on the other foot!