Posted by Ixi

Posted by TxOgal
good topic

following

It's something I have noticed in a recentish dating experience I had late last year...shorty and I had engaged in a casual affair, with me taking pains to make my status as it related to the relationship clear. I let her know what I was up for, what I was not up for, and we had frequent conversations on where my head was leaning towards in regards to commitment.

As we casually dated we explored the issue of forming a more permanent bond, she wavered more than a few times and I decided the lack of stability was not something I was willing to bank on...I ended the sexual and romantic aspects of our connection earlier this year...we were "friends" for 3 months until she discovered that I started to deal with my ex AFTER we had finished dating.

She ended the friendship and revealed a boat-load of grievances which seemed to paint a relationship past where I wasn't clear about my feelings and emotions...it also came to light that she considered me her bf though I've explicitly told her even during our fwb/dating situation that I was single...

The entire thing is curious but when I shared the story with my homies (men and women)...all of them have had at least one story of their partner losing the plot and believing in a reality that didn't exist.

I'm curious as to how something like this happens...

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You clearly knew it was a FWB and vocalised it however, she wanted and was hoping for more which you also knew.

Why didn’t you cut it there??
You were never on the same page and you decided you were getting what you wanted out of it so let it continue.

Nothings changed. She’s desperate for the attention that you’re no longer showing her, this minute. She only wants to be friends and you to doat on her. Attention seeker.

I read…how dare you ignore me! I want you pining after me and there at my every whim. Let’s be friends… one day I might change my mind but I don’t want to be alone and maybe someone else will save me soon. 🙄

Posted by ImperfectStormI can't sit around waiting for her to make her mind up on if she wants me or not it's unfair on me and the kids
Yeah you are giving her way more power than what she actually has. Love is not meant to be emotional bondage, that’s attachment or addiction that keeps you in an unhealthy, unrequited type of situation like that. You can love someone and let them go with the confidence in knowing that you gave it all that you could give. You keep talking about her as if it’s her that’s holding you back… it’s really not, it’s you that’s keeping you in this situation. Stop playing the victim to what you consider “love” and take back your power. Stop talking about her and what she’s doing to keep you there.. you’re just reinforcing it and you’ll be here in another 7-10 days making another post about how she won’t let you go. It’s you that isn’t letting go, you’re focusing on her when you really need to be focusing on rebuilding your inner strength and self love.

This ^^^

Read it OP and comprehend what’s being said, In fact go back and read most of your posts and really listen to the feedback… the same thing is being said to you over and over and you only desperately cling to anyone that says “it might work” it won’t, this much drama in such a short time… it’s not changing.

@seraph7 are you the old seraph come back or someone completely new?

Been there so many times, now I’m older I quit quitting things that help me cope with everyday life. If I want alcohol imma gonna drink it, If I want sweets imma gonna eat it, if I want to smoke yep I’m doing that too. I’m done quitting things … life’s too short!

You guys gave me courage to front this so I went to Bunnings today to return something and decided, not going to let this stop me going to my local store. Had a plan in place to tell him point blank, didn’t see your message and don’t do social media much but I’m not interested. To my relief, he wasn’t there .. means he doesn’t work Mondays, so I’m gonna be going there on Mondays from now on 😂😂😂

Posted by Hypnotoad
I did Nelsons thing yesterday, it told me I have 10 trines, seems like a few...or maybe not.
Anyway I googled what having shit loads of trines mean and it mostly came back as things came to me easily/lucky so I was prone to being lazy.
I find that not to be true at all, things have never came to me THAT easily. Actually most things I've ever done I've worked very hard at and not got much out of it. So I do take this information with a grain of salt.

What's others thoughts? Whos got trines?

Explain?? No idea what you’re talking about

Posted by Hypnotoad

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by AbbyNormal
Stop worrying about age and let the man pursue you!!!

If a man is closer to your kids age than yours… is it a man or a kid 😆

Did you or did you not need his advice on some DIY shit?

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Nope, just needed him to show me where a car trolley was because the check out girl couldn’t find it on the computer. I normally get my sausages outside Bunnings 😝

Posted by Wizardz

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by sweethearts
Why do you want to sleep with your Mumma??
FFS
And I need advice on how I handle this. I have zero interest in anyone that is more than 10 years younger than me. As I get older, I feel I don’t have any more time to be playing around I’ve had my fun and now I am only looking for serious long term.

Now my approach or rather my response probably needs work. I’m Libra and always try to be considerate of others feelings.

Example: A week ago, I was in the local hardware store (Bunnings)which I frequently visit (not anymore.. I’m now going 10ks out of my way to another)
Young guy from my home country I’ve chatted to several times over the years asking for help finding things. He’s always waves out when I’m in (once a month or more frequent if I have a home project happening) haven’t seen him in a while so as he was helping me locate something again, he asks if I’m single and when I said yes asked if I’m on fb… I tried to say Instagram because there’s too much personal info on fb. So feeling put on the spot I give him my fb name. He adds me right there and then… I didn’t pull out my phone and didn’t excepted it or open it.. today I get notification he’s trying to message me 🤦🏼‍♀️ now I can never go back to that store again 😂

I’ve said before in other circumstances, you’re too young. There’s always a come back.
Is the best approach to lie and say, I have someone? I’ve said it before to a friend of a friend but I’m not good handling lies.

Am I manifesting all wrong?
The stupid tarot cards always say keep your mind open but seriously, I have no interest in entertaining anyone I feel is too young.

You clearly have issues with holding your ground. There is absolutely no need to lie. Who cares if they want to come back with a million reasons why your should give them a chance, if you tell someone "you're ass is too young" then mean it and keep it movin' with a polite "thank you very much for the compliment, you just made my day, however it's still gonna be a NO for me". Say it with the sweetest smile if that makes your Leeb bits feel better, just say what you mean and mean what you say.

Manifesting all wrong? I don't think so. Seems like you need to be okay with the "uncomfortable" feeling of rejecting someone flat out. I mean you didn't even want to give this man your FB info, yet felt pressured to do so? Un huh. Work that out. You don't owe anyone anything. No explanation beyond "sorry it's a pass" and most certainly don't owe anyone a web of lies to make them feel nice and "loved" inside because God forbid they get rejected by someone.

No you’re exactly right. I do have a problem with being direct and holding my ground. It’s not the first time I’ve put myself into this type of situation and it goes from what should end there to dragging on and me having to work a way out.

This is very endearing to me. Having to drive 10 miles further now because you are avoiding a guy whose facebook message is haunting you with it's notification that it's sitting there unread 🤣
I love this about Libras. They're all calm and composed on the outside and then when you see inside their minds they're worried about something seemingly inconsequential because they don't want anything upsetting their balance - it's so sweet

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Mental isn’t it?? But the struggle is real 🙄 pure libra here trying to maintain my balance.

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by sweethearts
Why do you want to sleep with your Mumma??
FFS
And I need advice on how I handle this. I have zero interest in anyone that is more than 10 years younger than me. As I get older, I feel I don’t have any more time to be playing around I’ve had my fun and now I am only looking for serious long term.

Now my approach or rather my response probably needs work. I’m Libra and always try to be considerate of others feelings.

Example: A week ago, I was in the local hardware store (Bunnings)which I frequently visit (not anymore.. I’m now going 10ks out of my way to another)
Young guy from my home country I’ve chatted to several times over the years asking for help finding things. He’s always waves out when I’m in (once a month or more frequent if I have a home project happening) haven’t seen him in a while so as he was helping me locate something again, he asks if I’m single and when I said yes asked if I’m on fb… I tried to say Instagram because there’s too much personal info on fb. So feeling put on the spot I give him my fb name. He adds me right there and then… I didn’t pull out my phone and didn’t excepted it or open it.. today I get notification he’s trying to message me 🤦🏼‍♀️ now I can never go back to that store again 😂

I’ve said before in other circumstances, you’re too young. There’s always a come back.
Is the best approach to lie and say, I have someone? I’ve said it before to a friend of a friend but I’m not good handling lies.

Am I manifesting all wrong?
The stupid tarot cards always say keep your mind open but seriously, I have no interest in entertaining anyone I feel is too young.

You clearly have issues with holding your ground. There is absolutely no need to lie. Who cares if they want to come back with a million reasons why your should give them a chance, if you tell someone "you're ass is too young" then mean it and keep it movin' with a polite "thank you very much for the compliment, you just made my day, however it's still gonna be a NO for me". Say it with the sweetest smile if that makes your Leeb bits feel better, just say what you mean and mean what you say.

Manifesting all wrong? I don't think so. Seems like you need to be okay with the "uncomfortable" feeling of rejecting someone flat out. I mean you didn't even want to give this man your FB info, yet felt pressured to do so? Un huh. Work that out. You don't owe anyone anything. No explanation beyond "sorry it's a pass" and most certainly don't owe anyone a web of lies to make them feel nice and "loved" inside because God forbid they get rejected by someone.

No you’re exactly right. I do have a problem with being direct and holding my ground. It’s not the first time I’ve put myself into this type of situation and it goes from what should end there to dragging on and me having to work a way out.

It such a curious thing, because you often give great advice on here and seem to know how to tell other people how to hold their ground lol.

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lol isn’t that always the way with most here…great giving advice but can’t see the wood through the trees with our own?

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by sweethearts
Why do you want to sleep with your Mumma??
FFS
And I need advice on how I handle this. I have zero interest in anyone that is more than 10 years younger than me. As I get older, I feel I don’t have any more time to be playing around I’ve had my fun and now I am only looking for serious long term.

Now my approach or rather my response probably needs work. I’m Libra and always try to be considerate of others feelings.

Example: A week ago, I was in the local hardware store (Bunnings)which I frequently visit (not anymore.. I’m now going 10ks out of my way to another)
Young guy from my home country I’ve chatted to several times over the years asking for help finding things. He’s always waves out when I’m in (once a month or more frequent if I have a home project happening) haven’t seen him in a while so as he was helping me locate something again, he asks if I’m single and when I said yes asked if I’m on fb… I tried to say Instagram because there’s too much personal info on fb. So feeling put on the spot I give him my fb name. He adds me right there and then… I didn’t pull out my phone and didn’t excepted it or open it.. today I get notification he’s trying to message me 🤦🏼‍♀️ now I can never go back to that store again 😂

I’ve said before in other circumstances, you’re too young. There’s always a come back.
Is the best approach to lie and say, I have someone? I’ve said it before to a friend of a friend but I’m not good handling lies.

Am I manifesting all wrong?
The stupid tarot cards always say keep your mind open but seriously, I have no interest in entertaining anyone I feel is too young.

You clearly have issues with holding your ground. There is absolutely no need to lie. Who cares if they want to come back with a million reasons why your should give them a chance, if you tell someone "you're ass is too young" then mean it and keep it movin' with a polite "thank you very much for the compliment, you just made my day, however it's still gonna be a NO for me". Say it with the sweetest smile if that makes your Leeb bits feel better, just say what you mean and mean what you say.

Manifesting all wrong? I don't think so. Seems like you need to be okay with the "uncomfortable" feeling of rejecting someone flat out. I mean you didn't even want to give this man your FB info, yet felt pressured to do so? Un huh. Work that out. You don't owe anyone anything. No explanation beyond "sorry it's a pass" and most certainly don't owe anyone a web of lies to make them feel nice and "loved" inside because God forbid they get rejected by someone.

click to expand

No you’re exactly right. I do have a problem with being direct and holding my ground. It’s not the first time I’ve put myself into this type of situation and it goes from what should end there to dragging on and me having to work a way out.

If you’re not together together, then continue dating. That doesn’t mean sleeping with anyone else. It just means keeping your options open. Sounds like you’re too focused on him and trying to force something to happen with you guys out wanting exclusivity and he’s probably picking up on that.

Even if you don’t go out on another date, adjust your mindset. Focus on yourself.

Posted by Saul_of_Tarsus
Just say "I'm flattered but I have no interest being anything other than an acquaintance with you. I hope you respect that decision."

Although I doubt this is the problem....

I probably didn’t explain myself properly, the OP was just an example.. but this ^^^
Being more direct and to the point rather than thinking too much about not trying to hurt someone else’s feelings, as it clearly doesn’t work. They do always come back with answers and flattery like it’s a debate when you’ve made a statement though. I’m going to open the message and answer it.

Tbh, I really like going to that store, I’m always fixing up something and it’s conveniently close 😂

Posted by AbbyNormal
Stop worrying about age and let the man pursue you!!!

If a man is closer to your kids age than yours… is it a man or a kid 😆

Posted by Moloko_vellocet

Posted by Purplesky
^^ or inversely there's someone here on dxp who the op is jealous of so she created a thread to assert some sort of dominance. I don't like it and it's Hella childish. Just my two cents. Don't take offense, it's just what I'm reading. Good luck though I'm sure you got it all figured out!!!!

But you sound jealous.

Wtf

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Just an immature keyboard warrior trying to incite a response… 🙄

Posted by DopeFly
Guys don't always know your age. I was mistaken for a tall skeletal baby when I was 15 years old, and I still do now in my early thirties.

Unless you look your age, or older, they probably don't even know they're hitting on someone older.

You’re right, they don’t and when I tell them, from my experience it’s generally the same response. I make it a statement and they come back with an argument or debate?

Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
From what I have been able to perceive and gather about sweetheart's personality over many years of DXP-interactions is that to me, she carries this youthful and kind of child-like energy and enthusiasm, which to me is the best way to live life. It's obvious then that she would attract "younger" people.

Having said that, I think in general Libra's do need to learn to say "no" more often in all kinds of situations, once they've mastered this, their energy will change and then they will start attracting more of what/who they really need in their lives.

I’d make an exception to my rule with you Shaks

Posted by Moloko_vellocet

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by Reincarnation2

Posted by Reincarnation2

Posted by sweethearts
Why do you want to sleep with your Mumma??
FFS
And I need advice on how I handle this. I have zero interest in anyone that is more than 10 years younger than me. As I get older, I feel I don’t have any more time to be playing around I’ve had my fun and now I am only looking for serious long term.

Now my approach or rather my response probably needs work. I’m Libra and always try to be considerate of others feelings.

Example: A week ago, I was in the local hardware store (Bunnings)which I frequently visit (not anymore.. I’m now going 10ks out of my way to another)
Young guy from my home country I’ve chatted to several times over the years asking for help finding things. He’s always waves out when I’m in (once a month or more frequent if I have a home project happening) haven’t seen him in a while so as he was helping me locate something again, he asks if I’m single and when I said yes asked if I’m on fb… I tried to say Instagram because there’s too much personal info on fb. So feeling put on the spot I give him my fb name. He adds me right there and then… I didn’t pull out my phone and didn’t excepted it or open it.. today I get notification he’s trying to message me 🤦🏼‍♀️ now I can never go back to that store again 😂

I’ve said before in other circumstances, you’re too young. There’s always a come back.
Is the best approach to lie and say, I have someone? I’ve said it before to a friend of a friend but I’m not good handling lies.

Am I manifesting all wrong?
The stupid tarot cards always say keep your mind open but seriously, I have no interest in entertaining anyone I feel is too young.

"I've had my fun."

Yikes. How many?

"I've had my fun!"

Awww you’ve been burned… can’t figure out whether your old and been left on the shelf… has mummy issues yourself or just plain bitter. But I’ll give it 10 seconds thought of pity for you and then I’ll move along. Bye Felicia 👋

He had a pisces gf and she went overseas and came back with a bruise on her leg so he assumed she’s cheating. It was a gold star thread some years ago. He only likes virgins and teens.

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Oh so he was burned.. she was out “having her fun” that was what made him see red in my whole post.

The insecurities of the young… not saying that as we get older that we don’t have insecurities but we learn not to sweat the small stuff.

Posted by Reincarnation2

Posted by Reincarnation2

Posted by sweethearts
Why do you want to sleep with your Mumma??
FFS
And I need advice on how I handle this. I have zero interest in anyone that is more than 10 years younger than me. As I get older, I feel I don’t have any more time to be playing around I’ve had my fun and now I am only looking for serious long term.

Now my approach or rather my response probably needs work. I’m Libra and always try to be considerate of others feelings.

Example: A week ago, I was in the local hardware store (Bunnings)which I frequently visit (not anymore.. I’m now going 10ks out of my way to another)
Young guy from my home country I’ve chatted to several times over the years asking for help finding things. He’s always waves out when I’m in (once a month or more frequent if I have a home project happening) haven’t seen him in a while so as he was helping me locate something again, he asks if I’m single and when I said yes asked if I’m on fb… I tried to say Instagram because there’s too much personal info on fb. So feeling put on the spot I give him my fb name. He adds me right there and then… I didn’t pull out my phone and didn’t excepted it or open it.. today I get notification he’s trying to message me 🤦🏼‍♀️ now I can never go back to that store again 😂

I’ve said before in other circumstances, you’re too young. There’s always a come back.
Is the best approach to lie and say, I have someone? I’ve said it before to a friend of a friend but I’m not good handling lies.

Am I manifesting all wrong?
The stupid tarot cards always say keep your mind open but seriously, I have no interest in entertaining anyone I feel is too young.

"I've had my fun."

Yikes. How many?

"I've had my fun!"

click to expand

Awww you’ve been burned… can’t figure out whether your old and been left on the shelf… has mummy issues yourself or just plain bitter. But I’ll give it 10 seconds thought of pity for you and then I’ll move along. Bye Felicia 👋

Posted by Wizardz

Posted by sweethearts
He’s messaged me after waiting a week. I haven’t excepted his friend request and I haven’t opened the message as it’s sitting in no man’s land because we aren’t friends.

It’s going to bug the crap out of me though because I have that little number 1 telling me I haven’t opened a message. (not ocd except for this) I need to get rid of that number 😂🤪

What do you suggest I do?

😂😂 that's funny. I don't know. I would leave it hanging unspoken between you. Any reply or accepting his request is only going to encourage him. Can't you delete the message or mark it read?

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I’d have to open it to delete and then he’ll see it’s read 😂