Everywhere I go I'm prepared to pay my own way and do for myself, if the situation arises and the gentleman takes the lead to pay I have no problem with that. I especially like it if they do the little things like opening doors for you moreso than paying for you. I remember my brother being the first to open a car door and close it when he took me out once, I was younger and didnt understand his gentlemanly ways but it felt nice and I totally understand why he had woman flocking for him.

However in a bar situation I'm not likely to take a drink off a stranger unless I'm interested and already conversing with him and I just prefer that the buying of the drink isn't the buy in to talking to me.

I just went straight past it...I didnt take time to look, that sort of thing is too graphic for me and I always turn away from it. My step Dad also Libran and I both turn away or close our eyes when something like that shows up on TV!

I love to be cuddled and to cuddle someone, problem is my body temperature goes from freezing to extremely high in bed so unless it is really cold I wont get cuddled all night long. I have to turn away and move to the side ):

Posted by curious visitor
i have no problem knowing how i feel. expressing how i feel is a different matter. do they need to know how i feel? what's the best way to express how i feel and why i feel that way? will telling them give them ammunition they can use against me? or what if they want to talk about it? if i'm particularly sad or pissed off, i don't want to talk about it. at least not til i can calm down and get some perspective.

usually i'll deny whatever i'm being accused of feeling, whether it's true or not. but especially anger. i'll say i'm hurt. but i'm not hurt. what i mean is that i want to hurt you for pissing me off.

yeah.

That's how I feel too, If someone has pissed me off I can literally feel my blood boil over but striking out before I've had time to think about it generally ends badly and I can be vicious in my attack so I've learnt to think it through before approaching it and when I'm good and ready!

Some of that just sounded so .... ? FUCKED UP!!! CLOSED MINDED!!!

Actually I think the termed used was Mutts!!!

Posted by DapperDon
You're supposed to keep the genes dominant by marrying your own. That's the whole point here and probably why you're friend's dad was not happy with her dating black men. People don't think about what that does to their kids who don't know if they're white or black. They will never fit in. And pure breads are just worth more. You're supposed to keep traditions and cultures too and when you have kids outside your nationality you just make a mut, and a mess. People don't think about what that does on the larger scale, they just think, "Oh well, not in my lifetime will it be a problem."

But that's wrong. Do you know why Muslims and Arabs are going to take over? It ain't because of their bombs, it's because of their babies.

White people (Scotish, British, German, Irish) have an average of 1 kid.

Italians have an average of 2-3 kids.

Black people have 4 kids

Puerto Ricans have 4 kids

Muslims have more than 6 on average.




And that's exactly why they're going to take over.

@ DD

Is that what you really believe???

Thanks for that, Some people are just crazy!!! Love the tabasco and fire one!

Yes mum's was surgically fixed. The biggest problem it caused was making her continually pee, there must have been alot of pressure on the bladder.

She just said they were going to stitch it back up! lol

that was 10 years ago now and she hasnt had a problem, she was paranoid about it once thinking it had come away again but it hadnt.

After the experience of giving birth...alot of things dont faze you as much!!

I've heard knee and hip surgery are the worst!

@ Kry, I've seen you say a few times that you had blocked P??? Did you unblock her?

My mother had that surgically fixed, the uterus comes down. I thought it was more to do with giving birth though?

I can P, I've seen 5 close friends die and I have regretted alot of things that I didnt do or say before they passed away.



They were all concerned about that fact that they were dying, and were all very self-absorbed about thier pain/reality of their life diminishing.

And I've seen that too, and who can blame them? It isn't easy to die, it's unnatuaral and alot of the time your bodies wont give in easily, breathing can become very slow and differcult. One of my friends just cried and said it was too hard to go on any longer yet even though he willed it, he didnt leave straight away but was still there for over a week and mostly in and out of conscienceness til the point of not being there at all. The people watching on are the ones suffering in silence....

I wasnt expecting any revelations, he's a stubborn fuck and this cycle runs in our family. He never saw his own father for years and refused to go to the funeral, hated him! He had previously mentioned to me not to be stubborn like a M....... (our surname) and to let things go. My oldest brother will be the one that continues that cycle...

If you think it is vulgar...why are you using it so much?? Just saying!

I think the problem is the girlfriend and she should be there when you have the discussion, call a meeting with all the room mates and include the gf in on it, so that it is all out in the open. And make sure you point out her not cleaning up after herself!

Yeah I do and thanks for the kind thoughts Bri


I am at peace with my decision now. I'm not going for guilt, I'm going for my mother and I can feel the weight over the past 2 days has been lifted from my shoulders.

His wake up call is that there is no one there for him, the only people there are 1 out of 3 sons, me and 1 of my daughters, a nephew, his sister my mother and his wife and her son.

In over 70 years of life and only 8 people to see you before you go???

Maybe that wont be something that he thinks about...it's more that that's how I would feel if it were reversed!

And no I'm not angry...I'm numb and have no expectations of this man anymore. When I kicked him out after my eyes were opened to the man that he was, I believe I found the peace that I needed... prior to that I had a fantasy dad, the one I had created in my head from a little girl.

My mother has asked me to go with her..she is not an emotional woman by any means (asian) but today spoke out through tears begging at me to forgive him for myself. She says if she can forgive him for everything that she went through then we as his children should be able to do the same. She wants to go and say goodbye, she also said without him she/we wouldn't be in the position we are today living freely in a great country.

We also need to make sure that he is put into care at a home, his wife is also old and frail and cant take care of him. He cant walk, but still tries to do things for himself which results in falling and then she cant pick him back up not to mention batheing and toilet. But he is a stubborn fuck and doesn't want to go into care and she hasnt the strength/heart to force him!

I guess it comes down to putting my feelings aside and stepping up. He has very few people/family that care and that in itself has to be a wake up call!

@ P,
my step dad is the biggest kid, he's Libran too and hasnt got a bad bone in his body. His biggest fault is that he cant keep anything a secret, which was great for us, especially around Xmas because he use to hint to us about what they had bought for our presents. Never watch a movie with him that he has seen though because he'll tell you the end before you get to it!! lol



On my fathers visit here, they got on fine and my father even thanked Dad for taking care of his family. We shared meals together nearly everynight for the 3 week stay. He knows that I think of him as my Dad without a doubt! But I will talk to him tomorrow just to make sure he understands and is fine with it, but I know he will be he's so selfless.


Thanks everyone for your input, the last 2 days have been mentally draining trying to sort through this.

Are you looking at the right lady this time?? You're just turned on because my mouth is sooo big!

True he fathered me and without him I wouldn't be here but then he left and has only ever contacted me for his own self-fish reasons (when he woke up because of health problems) I've asked him once to attend my daughters baptisim and he couldn't make it.

His pulling me out as favourite is unfair to my brothers, one of which he abused physically til he was 11 and the other who he didnt like because he should have been a girl...I'm 3 in line... when he visited he favoured one of my daughters and he openly expressed around the other two which annoyed!

Yes he is my father, but I don't like him and I wont regret it because I gave him chances to put things right, I welcomed him into my family and when he proved that he had no real regret and was simply the man that left four young children to a woman in a foreign country. The controlling abusive alcoholic that he is, I gave up!


I've decided : I dont want to go, I'll call and speak to his wife. My daughter (his favourite granddaughter) is on her way down there now. I will go to the funeral with my mother.

I have had a very few tears with that decision but I cry at anything, movies,(sometimes blubbering) I even cry if I see someone else crying...so I think that's all it is. Makes me wonder if all Librans are like that, big sookys!