Her first suspension came about from her not complying with school uniform originally.
She ran off from a teacher so she didnt recieve a detention twice so they suspended her for that...BUT wont except that her suspension came as a result of her actions (running off) and is adamant that it was because of the uniform that she was suspended. I had explained it over and over as well as the principle but it wouldn't sink in that it was because she ran off! In her mind it was because of the uniform.
She has been forced to wear the correct shoes since but carries a pair in her bag and switches them at school. They have to be Black leather uppers and everyone else can wear coloured leather uppers(NORMAL RUNNERS) and get away with it
YES I believe it is injust but as a parent what am I suppose to do? I have to back the teachers because she needs to learn that they are in authority and in this life you have to listen to authority or you will get more than just suspension later on!!! I have told her she has to conform to the laws/rules. But she doesn't want to except this!
She probably feels like no one cares to listen to what's bothering her...or if they did, they still wouldn't care and/or understand. Which is clearly being validated by the reactions she's receiving - ie: get out of my hair, I don't have time for your butter.
@ BF you are being judgemental with insinuating this. But I overlook this as you are young and dont have kids let alone a teenager.
There is no rule book to help bring up children, every child is different and alot has to do with personalities. We have a good realtionship on the whole but her struggles at the moment are undisclosed because I have backed the teachers thus far getting her to comply with the uniform regulations when the majority of the pupils dont.
^^^ that is the underlying issue here and what I firmly believe has caused her reation!
There are 3 weeks left of school before the holidays, so taking her out is only for the year and she will return next year as normal. She isn't complying with anyone at school now (the teachers) they are the ones I believe she is having the most problems with. they have been nitpicking at her over uniforms whilst everyone else is free to wear what they want...this I believe has contributed to her behaviour. Suspension over this twice and it is ludicrous but they havent listened to me either!!
She has no special talents or interests but to hang out with her friends...I've spent alot of time talking to her and trying to work out what she wants to do with her life after she leaves school and nothing has come to light yet.
@ Mr Nice, when we talk she sits with a blank look on her face while I wait for her to talk and wont go into anything and Yes I believe she is a little jealous over my relationship with Miss Leo.
@ Ellessque, From your chart she is Cancer to a T! doesn't like change and feels like she is being picked on over the smallest issue and has developed the attitude I'll give you something more solid to suspend me for. I mean why perform when you are going to get in trouble anyway???
Wsigaf, Dads not there much to help out and she is with me after spending a year with him. In the end he rang and said come pick her up!!! He couldn't deal with her anymore!
@ VB, she is below average in all her schooling which is weird because she started off her first years in schooling above but now has no desire to even try or listen during class. Doesnt complete or go to classes or do assessments.
@ Dom. Have tried forcing her to wake up in many ways and it hasn't worked thus far. And no I wont physically bash her!
@ LS I will bring her back home, listening to you has opened my eyes to her needing more love and understanding to deal with her issues.
and her friends are very important, so I'm thinking that this will show her what she will lose if she weren't at school anymore...the connection will go gradually...
I know I'm grasping at straws here but how else do I wake this kid up? Honestly nothing she does she feels is her fault, she has no desire to do anything with her life and doesnt want to not listen to anyone but herself...
Suggestions will be great if anyone has any insight...Beating her YES I'd love to but it really wont work!
My 15 year old girl is losing it! She's not listening to any teachers at school and is completely defiant, if she doesnt want to attend a class she just wont and if she is in class and doesnt want to do any work she just wont and sits there or disturbs others. (She has no idea what she wants to do for the future and I have been talking to her about a career if she were to leave school in the next few years.)
I am constantly being called up by teachers because of her attitude and lack of work or uniform and she has been internally and externally suspended on numerous occasions. At home she is fine and the only real bother we have is fast forgotten, she'll spit and then within like minutes she's over it and wants my love or acceptance which I give unless she has spat a little too much at me, hurtfully! (She's Cancer and I'm Libra and we get along fine mostly)
Anyway long story short, today I get another call because she refused to go to an internal suspension and ran away from her teachers 3 times, so they externally suspended her for 2 days. i come to pick her up and as she had no answers but it's not my fault (as usual) I decided that she could walk home (30 min walk home) and reflect on what she is putting us all through, and left her there...The teacher pulls her back into school and so sits her in internal suspension and calls me again at the end of the day. I decide that she is to stay in her room for the night. She doesn't want to and tries it on me, so I say either go to your room or there is the door. She leaves...and I call all her friends parents to make sure they dont offer her a place to stay.
My attitude now is that it is time for tough love! She has been bought up in a priveledge home and as alot of kids these days acts like a princess! I used this technique on one of my other daughters and while it was hard for me to do within 7 days she had called me begging to pick her up!!! That child (Leo)was street wise unlike this one....but she had the be-jesus scared out of her!!!! And was a changed person...
Dont know about this one...whether she will find somewhere to stay or come home after we are asleep...I know I wont get much sleep...
My plan of attack is to pull her out of school for the last 3 weeks and have her sitting around without internet and friends through the 9 weeks over Xmas to wake her up to the reality of being out of school... She normally loves school and cant wait to go back after the holidays
Cutting off my nose despite my face...Yes I can relate to that... feels like I would rather do that than go through more hurt which is evident in most cases!
But I cant change the generous loving person/friend that I am, which is why I've resulted to cutting these people out...Ignorance is Bliss! This solves the Doormat issue and helping people out even though they dont deserve it because if they were still in my day to day life that's what I would be doing. And I know that I would get burnt again and again.
This year I have had ZERO tolerance with people and I have cut a few people off for reasons I think are important. The people I have been to bat for that havnt stepped up when I really needed them...not just that, but they never made any apologies or acknowkledgment of what was going on. So after lengthy thoughts about each situation I just ended all communication.
Even though I have no regrets there ^^^^^ as these were family members...I have noticed it's hardened me, thickened my skin to people/friends in general and I am mirroring people more and more. I guess it's just a defence as I've realised alot of people are takers but not givers and I need the balance for it to be worthy.
Am I being unrealistic? It's not that I want everything to be evenly give and take...well that would be my perfect world... but I go out of my way to help my friends/family out and would like to know that when I need them they are there for me too.
I know there are other Libras going through this sort of thing here, so how have you evaluated your situations? Is it working with you or do you feel a little like me and unbalanced?
He's confused...his reality of living in your country is over and now he is living in his own country...the two worlds are miles apart. You fitted so perfectly in your world together but his reality now, you dont fit into...As you experience minute by minute day by day so does he in a life you dont understand and the gap probably feels like it could never be closed....