Posted by Enfant-Terrible-IIPosted by pooface222
But what do you think of sending someone a facebook message after being on a dating app, and apologising for whatever.?
And asking what happened?
Isn't that a bit weird?
Would you do it?
If you haven't done anything wrong don't apologize. Stalk the shit out of him and ask him why he ghosted you. If he doesn't reply send FB friendship request to his kids mwahahah !click to expand
Posted by Undine
Wellcome to the challenge of dating men over 40, lol!
They have passed their prime, testosterone levels dropped, erectile issues are on the rise. Many have gone through a divorce or other failed major relationship, are co-parenting, or going through a midlife crisis. They need a mother, a female friend, a counsellor, more than a random stranger to empty their balls in. They want attention, emotional support, advice, empathy, the "female touch", validation, companionship. Sounds good, eh...? Except for when there is a strong imbalance, meaning that you are giving far more then are receiving.
But why don't they commit to a relationship with you? Because they are happy with the status quo. You satisfy their needs. You build them up. Thanks to you, they feel much better about themselves. In fact, they start wondering if they are too good for you now...because they've noticed that you have some minor flaws...how dare you to be less than perfect, and think you've got them...???
How can you spot these time wasters? Share your plans to begin with, which should always involve a timeline. For example, if you meet the right person, you want to become exclusive once you have had sex with them, official within 4 months (the vast majority of people who are emotionally available are falling in love within 4 months), move together within one year, get married within two. See how they react. If they respond evasively, drop them. If they pay you lip service initially, but then are dragging their feet, drop them. There are people out there who want what you want, and most importantly, they want it with you!
Also, never give more than you receive. Does he like talking about his past and present issues, but largely ignore yours, or shows no empathy? Drop him like a hot potato. How does he treat you? Is he unhelpful, patronising or dismissive, forgets his promises, often late for a date, fails to reply to your question for days, or cancels your plans without a major force/event? Drop him now!
Posted by PhoenixRising
Hmph. I going to guess that these men y'all are meeting are fairly intelligent, can carry a conversation, manage their lives without their hands being held? They manage to check off a few boxes on whosever list to be worthy of their attention, so I am going to guess yes.
If one of the items on this list of things to be checked off included "can hold down a job/employed", "good communicator" or "honest" you can miss me on the "not knowing they are doing" bit because these character traits/skills are transferable to a relationship as well. Only difference is in one area of their life they choose to put in the effort and another they don't.
I think people make too many excuses for grown a** people. Some are just selfish emotional leeches simply because they can be.