Just to clarify Enfant... sweet_heart is not me!

So what has Enfant done wrong exactly??? He hasnt pursued this other woman at all and only on occassion shared outings because they have mutual friends...

In his own time I'm sure he'll come to a decision about what he will do, but as far as I can see has been quite the gentleman about it!! Alot would make sure they have sneered one before letting go of the other by having a full on affair or try and have their cake and eat it too. He may have fantasized and to some that is cheating but he hasn't put anything into practice but his mind...I dont see anything wrong with that!

You need to share that with another gf...not many men are going to have the reaction you require and you will be disappointed even more!

I feel ya LLL, and that has crossed my mind...I guess it just makes me feel like I'm chasing him and as a woman think that he should be the one to make moves or at least let me know that it isn't all one sided. Something I will have to deal with as you say. No point making a mountain over this very small bump! How did you do the LDR thing for so long? Any tips there??

I understand that he is wrapped up in preparation for Xmas and yes he's busy....but I also need to feel like I'm not the only one in this. I'd like him to reach out and put himself on the line...and let me know he's missing me and wants to hear from me too..

it's a libran thing I think, I've done my share now it's his turn... wonder how long I'll be waiting???

No, I would say that it may possibly be a Libra female thing...I have found that I will say the most hurtful things and even sometimes hit below the belt!!! It's like I'm sooo upset that I want to project the venom onto that person....And I always really regret it when I've calmed down and re-hash the stupid things I've said...

And as Spica says, hurtful words can not be taken back...no matter how remorseful you feel later and how much you apologise it is too late!! The best I've come up with to stop myself is the count to ten theory and get out of the room...still it's something that has to be mastered as I know I can feel my blood boiling and it's so hard to just stop....

Libras love being loved and if he isnt getting what he needs form his current gf then he'll look to get it elsewhere...this can be just purely flirting to boost his self esteem or in some cases sex...but whatever, it's for his benefit and satisfaction...not yours! Be careful!

Also because he is feeling down and out with his family situation and you know him and them more than perhaps his current love, he's wanting your shoulder to lean on...not considering the consequence of his actions...after all, it's all about him remember!

You know how sometimes in relationships there can be for whatever reason a bit of a lull period... Well I've had a few of those with my Leo man...

Problem is, I dont know whether I should be the one to approach him first or wait...mostly the reason is because both being busy or I should say that he is particularly busy so i give him space thinking he'll contact me when he's not so busy but then I feel like it's actually a waiting game...Is he waiting for me? If I am the first to break the silence then he's there like a shot and we are back on the path together but it's just dawned on me that I am always the first...

So what I'm really asking is...is this just a power struggle between us or is me thinking 7-10 days is too long, really not that long at all to men?

The relationship is still strong, it's just this one niggly thing that grates me...

Bet you're OCD or correctly put in alphabetical order for the real crazies CDO.... who cares and why stress when you understand what people are saying!!

Nice pic Bella

Ginger you need yourself to understand what he is going through adnd the only way to do this is to either research yourself through the internet as rooster says or go to speak to a councillor in this area and talk to them, they have alot of knowledge and insite as to how to handle or deal with someone like this. There are free places like friendship houses etc where you can seek guildance, you just need to ask around and you'll be surprised at what other people have experienced and know.

Dont give up and good luck

I still love you...but I'll fuck this guy instead....

Come on VK, you've spoke about this chick often enough and she doesnt sound genuine to me at all, in fact you have dist her heaps!!! I love all my exs in a way, I love the fact that they still want me!!!! Is that plain enough?

We've all been there and the moving on is a safeguard in itself for you...hardening you up a little...at some stage he has to make a definite choice as to whether he wants you permanently or not. You make the decision to move on, tough it out and he is forced to make a decision....

In the meantime you are distancing yourself from him and the hurting/craziness is lessoned...

Yes it takes a while and easily up to 6 months or way longer in some cases but what is the alternative??? You tell me...

I'm more inclined to call a spade a spade and except everything here on face value...you have been hanging out for nearly 3 months if not more and he isnt making enough effort. Move on, this guy doesnt know what he wants and I bet the hot cold thing is killing you inside!!!

I personally think they can for a while....but if they maintain their looks eventually will end up straying as boredom sets in. Of course I dont know from experience just what I think, very hard for a leopard to change their spots unless they themselves really want to change.

Take him home feed him up! lol

Welcome back Nic, thought you'd gone out withthe mass exodus lately!

Dont you find that sometimes you just want alone time??? I mean we have our whole lives to be chasing after something, whether that be the all mighty dollar or a fulfulling relationship but then there are times where you just dont want to, or have to, put in the effort and you just sit back and relax and let life run it's course for a while, without much effort from you...that's how I feel from time to time anywho.

Dont be down on yourself because you havent got all the answers at once or you havent any drive....I find when it's right you'll bounce again

Focus on the power of now - Eckhart Tolle fantastic book about being content with NOW not the future or the past.

FB80 you yourself have just made a whole lot of assumptions on women in certain age groups about maturity levels both emotionally and intellectually, are you generalising or have you given these women a chance and found this to be so??

You say in your experience....maybe this women also has in her experience dealt with 20 something year olds that where only after a fun time and she herself knows what she wants and has decided from your age you dont fit. Things may have been different if you had asked for her number or persude her in some fashion...but you didnt...

I have myself made assumptions about what a guy may want from me upon first meeting them by there age etc but if they were to persue me and there was some form of attraction there, I'd certainly give them a shot.

Haha at CV, yes I think that's just a Libra thing, happy but not completely satisfied because there is always another side to the coin. I'm like that always so when i am I'm completely at harmony just to leave things the way they are until I'm pulled or motivated enough to want to change them. problem with that is I can be sooo content that I feel lazy because I'm not trying to do more...

@ Lib also a Libra thing I think...just learning to accept who you are and also that it's in your hands to change things. Like the friends thing for instance I fine that you have to make the effort mostly to invite or be inviting to friends as most dont like to impose and therefore wait for invitations. Lately I have been feeling tired so havent been organising get togethers or inviting people to mine preferring to go out on invitation myself. So the great friends are busy with their own lives...think it's just the end of the year thing when there is soooo much to do before Xmas!

How satisfied are you with yourself and where you are at or going?

This board has been boring lately...

What's the perfect life for you Libras? Re: work, social, financial, living...Where you want to be in your life and if it's a goal for the future or do you live that life as much as you can now?

How satisfied are you with yourself and where you are at or going?