Posted by Centaur12Posted by blackphvsePosted by Centaur12Posted by blackphvsePosted by Centaur12Posted by sweethearts
Your instincts Are spot on... the minute you go back and she has you back where you were, she’ll flip on you again. She’s lost control and is trying to get that back. Nothing will change though, whether you give in now, a week or a month from now...
Will she change can she change does she want to change well she has told me yes but will she really only time will tell until then I am going to keep her at more of a distance and do me as well.
I already told you she won't dude. Why would she change when what she is doing has been working?
Think about it. This happens every single fkn time. You come back being like "we talked, she is sorry, but I'm still keeping her at arms length" it's bullshit. You're still feeding into it and everything she has been doing is working in her favour so she isn't gonna change. But you obviously don't really care and are gonna continue with it anyways.
It may of just worked a little this time though I ignored her text phone calls etc and she was taken back saying she feels hurt and realises what she's done wrong either way it don't matter like I said if I smell one bit of her being off them I'm outta here.
Of course she is gonna be upset and feel hurt if you're acting colder than usual. Doesn't mean anything will change. How many times has she said she relaizes what she has done is wrong? I've seen you post about her saying that more than once and nothing has changed.
True, I feel like its really hit home on her this time I just got off the phone to her and she is still president that there is something wrong with me saying I have changed etc not the same person since our last falling out she cant put her finger on it so she's saying and then saying I am respecting what you have said and what you want etc. Every time I have her on the phone she is saying it sounds like you don't want to be with me etc it isn't that it's the fact I aint showing her my emotions or interest as much anymore.click to expand
Posted by thatlibralifePosted by sweetheartsPosted by Centaur12Posted by blackphvsePosted by Centaur12Posted by blackphvsePosted by Easha23000usPosted by blackphvsePosted by Centaur12Posted by blackphvsePosted by Centaur12
Here's an update I have ghosted gem and she de friended me on Facebook because I updated my profile picture of just myself and not me and her I have shifted my energy away from her and onto my self and she said I can't be on your Facebook while you flaunt yourself she said I am going to find it hard the next few weeks.
Anyway long story short I have woken up to her texting me this morning all opplogetic towards me saying she is going to work on her self and that she wants me and saying she understand about the kids and she said do I want to stay with her at hers with my kids etc. I have told her I don't think it's a good idea right now and that we need space in order to sort anything.
Stick to your guns and keep her at arms length. If she msgs you, don't be all over responding. Keep distance.
I am doing just that she wanted to meet me and I have just cancelled last minuet on her going to do some decorating at my place instead.
Cancelling on her last minute is just going to seem like games. You obviously agreed to meet her originally, that's not keeping her at arms length. If you don't wanna meet up, tell her that, don't say you're gonna then bail. That's just creating more of a mess.
If he were truly serious about being done with her, he would not respond to her at all...Her texting him, and he responding, is her way of keeping tabs on him.
Agreed. He is saying one thing but doing another. Saying he wants space, but still making plans with her. That's not gonna work.
I have told her I want space but she is being persistent in wanting to see me and is saying to me everytime I have done wrong to her she never stayed away from me so she is being manipulative.
You're right, she is being manipulative, so why are you still feeding it? She can't manipulate someone who has withdrawn from her. We've been telling you the same thing over and over for months and nothing is has changed in your relationship or in how you approach it. Simply taking space won't resolve the issue either.. do you think she is going to miraculously change how she feels about your kids or stop trying to manipulate you just because you take some space? She is still trying to manipulate you and telling you that you are doing something wrong when you try to focus on yourself. No matter how much time you take, she is going to be the same person when you return. We've been telling you to leave her for months, if you're not going to then please stop posting your drama here cause you're just beating a dead horse. We've exhausted ourselves with solutions for you, but you're still feeding her childish bs, so there is nothing more we can help you with, the rest is on you.
🙆♂️🤦♂️ I know your right as well all I am going to do is see if she can change if I smell one bit of bullshit I am off I kind of know she has already shown me it by being persitent at seeing me and when told I want space she uses manipulation.
And yet again, you stay in the cycle of this relationship... 🤦🏼♀️🤷♀️It will never change
Exactly. I don’t know why people keep responding to this thread. None of the advice has been taken. It’s “Groundhog Day” with him and her...they both like the toxicity of the relationship otherwise it would have gone kaput a very long time ago....click to expand
Posted by jeanePosted by PhoenixRisingPosted by Centaur12
Here's an update I have ghosted gem and she de friended me on Facebook because I updated my profile picture of just myself and not me and her I have shifted my energy away from her and onto my self and she said I can't be on your Facebook while you flaunt yourself she said I am going to find it hard the next few weeks.
Anyway long story short I have woken up to her texting me this morning all opplogetic towards me saying she is going to work on her self and that she wants me and saying she understand about the kids and she said do I want to stay with her at hers with my kids etc. I have told her I don't think it's a good idea right now and that we need space in order to sort anything.
Is there a reason you felt the need to ghost someone you are/were in a relationship with, then add all that extra passive aggressive bullsh*t on FB, oppose to simply having a mature convo and say "this isn't working anymore. We're done/it's over" so you could move on knowing you handled it on a high note?
Hmph. Whether you realize it or not all you're doing is repeating the same behaviour that you did to the Sag. You can try justify it by saying you are fed up and upset with how the Gem is treating you, however you still need to own how you carry yourself regardless of the reasons why.
Character speaks for itself.
it all goes back to neither of them knowing how to communicate. they hit the power struggle stage of the relationship and without dealing with that constructively and powering through positively you get this.
there is no point. both are doomed to repeat the same mistakes with the next partner.click to expand
Posted by Centaur12Posted by blackphvsePosted by Centaur12Posted by blackphvsePosted by Easha23000usPosted by blackphvsePosted by Centaur12Posted by blackphvsePosted by Centaur12
Here's an update I have ghosted gem and she de friended me on Facebook because I updated my profile picture of just myself and not me and her I have shifted my energy away from her and onto my self and she said I can't be on your Facebook while you flaunt yourself she said I am going to find it hard the next few weeks.
Anyway long story short I have woken up to her texting me this morning all opplogetic towards me saying she is going to work on her self and that she wants me and saying she understand about the kids and she said do I want to stay with her at hers with my kids etc. I have told her I don't think it's a good idea right now and that we need space in order to sort anything.
Stick to your guns and keep her at arms length. If she msgs you, don't be all over responding. Keep distance.
I am doing just that she wanted to meet me and I have just cancelled last minuet on her going to do some decorating at my place instead.
Cancelling on her last minute is just going to seem like games. You obviously agreed to meet her originally, that's not keeping her at arms length. If you don't wanna meet up, tell her that, don't say you're gonna then bail. That's just creating more of a mess.
If he were truly serious about being done with her, he would not respond to her at all...Her texting him, and he responding, is her way of keeping tabs on him.
Agreed. He is saying one thing but doing another. Saying he wants space, but still making plans with her. That's not gonna work.
I have told her I want space but she is being persistent in wanting to see me and is saying to me everytime I have done wrong to her she never stayed away from me so she is being manipulative.
You're right, she is being manipulative, so why are you still feeding it? She can't manipulate someone who has withdrawn from her. We've been telling you the same thing over and over for months and nothing is has changed in your relationship or in how you approach it. Simply taking space won't resolve the issue either.. do you think she is going to miraculously change how she feels about your kids or stop trying to manipulate you just because you take some space? She is still trying to manipulate you and telling you that you are doing something wrong when you try to focus on yourself. No matter how much time you take, she is going to be the same person when you return. We've been telling you to leave her for months, if you're not going to then please stop posting your drama here cause you're just beating a dead horse. We've exhausted ourselves with solutions for you, but you're still feeding her childish bs, so there is nothing more we can help you with, the rest is on you.
🙆♂️🤦♂️ I know your right as well all I am going to do is see if she can change if I smell one bit of bullshit I am off I kind of know she has already shown me it by being persitent at seeing me and when told I want space she uses manipulation.click to expand
Posted by geminiwithataurusmanPosted by sweethearts
Another thing... if you’re as emotionless as you appear in this thread in your every day life with him this is why he’s found someone else.
I hope you do get your happy ending but just from everything you’ve said, it seems highly unlikely
Sweethearts, I am emotional, I cry, I shed tears, he sees these aspects of me, life gets in the way but he knows how much I love him. I let him know not everyday but I let him know. For his birthday, I created a birthday tribute and posted it. I created the weekend for us, he knows how much I love him I believe.click to expand
Posted by geminiwithataurusmanPosted by sweethearts
Where’s the confidence coming from?? He’s still painting pretty pictures for you.. I bet he was messaging her the whole night and will be with her tomorrow.
I’m sorry, but you are delusional... you want what you want and that’s human but take your rose coloured glasses off... this man’s heart and mind is somewhere else!
Thank you sweethearts. Our weekend was a really good one, intimate with just the two of us. When I told him about my plans for our weekend, there were no objections, he seemed to have a really good time and enjoyed our time away together. We really did have a ball. I can say the confidence comes from there. He happily went away for the trip I planned for him.click to expand
Posted by bmoon8Posted by smiley_smilesPosted by MysteriousScorpio
Yes, my Pisces man drama continues. I have tried, but I can’t get him out of my mind and it’s driving me crazy. I’m sure most of you remember my freak out post from before. Not my proudest moment.
Anyway, he has been in contact. We spoke last night briefly. I swallowed my pride and I flat out asked him....”so I’m going to be direct here and please don’t worry about hurting my feelings. Are you still interested?” His response was “I am and I’m sorry things have been so crazy busy. Hoping work slows down soon.”
Sigh....I almost wish he would have said he had lost interest. At least then I could move on from this and stop being so obsessed with thoughts of him. However, now I’m wondering if he was just saying he was still interested when he’s really not only to not hurt my feelings? Why must I analyze every single word? I just always worry that people aren’t being truthful with me.
Anyway, I want to know how I can get him to open up more? We rarely get to talk much anymore because he’s been so busy with work. (If he’s telling the truth). I don’t feel he has any reason to lie and I believe he’s being genuine, however when it comes to getting information from him it’s like pulling teeth and he’s very vague with his answers. For instance, I don’t even know his whole birth chart because he hasn’t even told me his damn birthday even when I directly asked him. His response was “oh it was a few weeks ago.” So I say a few weeks ago as in February or March? (Hoping he’d give me the exact day) He said “I’m a March baby.” 🤦♀️ So haven’t gotten far. I also always do background checks on potential guys I date. Surprisingly he’s told me his last name, his line of work, where he’s from and I know his age. However, when I plug this info in online I come up with nothing. So now I wonder if he’s lying about his name, age etc. I have just never not been able to find someone and it’s driving me crazy! I can’t even find him on social media.
I know this makes me sound paranoid. I honestly don’t get the feeling he’s lying....it’s just so odd to me. And I just want to learn more about him. Not deeply personal stuff. I know we aren’t at that point yet. Just day to day stuff....about work, family, his birthday (haha had to throw that in there) etc. I wish we could talk more. Can he really be that much of a workaholic?
Any tips? Advice? How to get him to talk more to me and open up without being pushy? Would a Pisces man tell you he’s still interested when he’s really not? So many questions...He’s just so mysterious and they say Scorpios are the most mysterious sign....that’s a lie! I’m so confused by him and it’s eating away at me that I can’t solve him.
No matter what zodiac it is, I will never suggest a girl to propose first. Because most of the boys will reject a girl's proposal because they thinks her that she is too easy. But if a boy himself proposes you first, he will take things so far. I can suggest you now to back off, don't initiate love topics at all, continue being like a best friend to him, let him open up to you, show him your caring side, and show him your respect, give him some space, let him get back to you about love, if he is interested, he will let you know after having a thought about it. He also looks for an attractive girl, so make yourself attractive.
^^^ this chick giving love advice?click to expand