Keep up the good work Bling, oh and you might want to take up something like chewing gum or mints and something to do with your hands. My gf is real upset because she has put on alot of weight, hand to mouth she is eating alot in replacement. But yeah, those things wean you off the cigs slowly and before you know it you wont be smoking anything or missing it either.

Pretty much on the ball there LS on how I would feel inclined to act.

I guess some peoples take is that you never know who you are going to meet and I myself believe that you generally meet potential partners from friends and friends of friends. But the blind date just feels so desparate to me and I'm not. Had they have rung me up and invited me to dinner or a bbq or something all would've been good.

But to put forward expectations before I even meet someone is not a good thing for me.

You shake your head at us woman, when we throw ourselves at a man and also when we hold back and wait!

What i have noticed in my years and I had 20 with a man and loads of friends going down the uneasy track of love is that the main reason there are problems in a relationship/friendship is the lack of communication! I for one learnt never go to bed angry with your partner and at least address any problem that occurs even if it cant be resolved right there, it has to be opened for discussion or it will eat away at the person and eventually have dire consequences! Now if only alot of you men and women could understand this...but of course you cant make someone spill especially if they have that much pride that it steps in the way!

I've now extended an olive branch, cant do much more than that!

Sorry that was a joke, I have no more knowledge of these creatures than you. If you're lucky a couple of these creatures will be prowling these boards in about 6-8 hours...Leolady, Ike, enfant & pro they'll all good with insight

Yes he has stressed me already!!!

But I think he knows what I'm like, I told him straight up that I'm a flirt and he also knows I'm very particular about who I let in. He even knows that he isnt the type I would normally consider given his track record....

I'm still undecided whether I should contact him or let him get over whatever is going on and let him contact me. I'm thinking he is the one with the problem as I really arent sure exactly what it is, so let him cool off and contact me again if he wants. Remembering one of his issues are huge and I cant accomodate...

Geez thank god I discovered the gym...ALL my frustrations are now being able to be released!!!!

Maybe you've got yourself a kitten???

A social smoker that smokes while drinking and no other time is one thing but someone that smokes every day half a packet a day and says they arent addicted...funny. Hey, but thats their choice whatever they want to do and my choice to laugh when they say they arent addicted!

My friends partner has a theory that he isnt addicted either and when he wants to give up he will just quit without any help from pills or patches etc. So now that she has given up through the use of the pills from the doctors....he's still puffing...oh because he wants to and doesnt want to give up yet!

Just block him, go to your settings and add his name in to block him. You will just disappear off his page and he wont be able to find you again. The only thing is everytime you talk to your mutual friend he can see what you are talking about unless it is a PM.

Perserverance/stalker or whatever, you dont need to put up with some creep in your life that makes you feel uncomfortable and wont listen. Especially when he is talking gutter trash to you, would make anyone feel sick!!!!

And stop being so nice, sometimes in life you have to be stand up for yourself. This is one of them or he'll continue to bother you!

Nothing wrong with taking note of your intuition. In fact it is wise to do so, with somethings though just stand back at a distance and observe. But those gut feelings are very nearly always right. I dont experience them very much and when I do it can go undetected until things come to light and then I realise, I knew that!

Think I'd be a gigalo....I'd have all the women throwing themselves at me and be ever so discreet so no one would find out about the others. I'd have to have my phone on silent as all the women would be continuely texting me, but in true male fashion I'll text them in a week or so when I could fit them into my busy schedule!!

The woman that would make me want to change my ways would more than likely be the one that wasn't interested in me or my advances!

Oh and congrats P, one of the first things I noticed was how great my clothes smelt...not reaking of smoke anymore.

Posted by Klover_Fish
I smoke and I'm not addicted. I smoke one pack every three days. I smoke because I enjoy smoking. And yes you can quit "just like that" When I found out I was pregnant I was about 3 weeks along and I quit that day for 9 months........just like that. I cant speak for heroin but I think that nicotine addiction is all in your head.

How many times have I heard someone say they are not addicted??? You smoke 8-10 smokes every day and you say you are not...I find that hard to believe!

I quit myself 3 times, 1st when I found out I was pregnant with my 1st child and then started again afterwards, 2nd after the 2nd child and didnt start again for another 12 years but I said only socially for 6 months, then I started buying my own and smoking maybe 1 or 2 a day. I finally went cold turkey because it upset one of my daughters and that was a month of hell!!! The withdrawals and moods all came even after only partially smoking & the mind wanted to smoke too. There's the addiction there, your mind doesn't let go. While pregnant it was easy because I had a damn good reason not to harm my baby any further and I could eat.

You say you smoke because you enjoy it...can you stop for a day, 5 or a week or two or does your mind just say I want to because I enjoy it?

Hahaha, I enjoyed it but was expecting something corny anyway!! lol Good one yum.

I understand that it's a huge issue...and it wasnt the first time I told him it wasn't going to happen with me. First and foremost we have been friends since kids the only crossing of the line has been in the mind. His words not mine, nothing will ever get in the way of our friendship...and now this! Not one word or confirmation as to why he is feeling like this...I'm going off a hunch. Dont know whether it's because I wasn't open to the idea or that I was talking with someone else or both together. Mostly I'm fine but sometimes I want to just smash him and really have it out...then I realise the stupidity of arguing over the net and thats pathetic. Soooo here I am thrashing it out on Dxp...you guys are my sanity!

Yep you missed me but then you hugged me a few posts ago...

How bout a kiss DA???!!! ;P

Wow you guys can really sulk!!!

I'm with you PD although my story completely different, it is the same where I lost myself and wasnt happy just being his wife, everything he wanted...Now I am the real me and very happy. My fear is that it will happen again with a new realtionship and I know it is me that transforms to their desires...but hopefully with maturity I will hold on to myself. I'm also conscious of the fact that I had no real friends because they made a choice and choose to support him...now I have a load of new friends that know and love me and I wont let them go if I were to meet someone else.

Totally agree with you PD...but then its because it's the way I learnt and some of us have to learn the hard way!

Another factor is that our biological clocks are ticking so in order to have a family, most want 2-4 kids, the idea of doing this in your 30's can almost be too late. Particularly when it's riskier to have children after 35. In effect you're damned if you do and damned i you dont!

As I said P, if it were in a group, I'd be totally ok with it. Or if I met someone and they asked me out, cool. But this is just being thrown in with someone I have no knowledge of at all. Wasn't really a big deal, they were pushing me for an answer and had already built up his hopes...and I wasn't sure. But once people added in their opinions it became more clear that I was hesitant cos it wasnt what I wanted.

My problem is that I tend to be a people pleaser and feel an obligation to do what they want...but I'm learning It's all about ME!!

And I like the way you throw things out there, your twisted mind has me thinking from different angles!

It was one to one...and I passed. Not my cup of tea either, I figured that I've looked into internet dating but never got to the point of meeting anyone..not comfortable with it and the same thing applied here.

However, Had it have been in a group I wouldn't have felt the same pressure. Can just imagine sitting there with absolutely nothing to say...

And thanks P, yes even my friends are drawn to me like that...strangely enough and the drama is always interesting, makes life fun but I like to sort it out quickly and get on with the rest of my life. Dxp helps me way up the pros & cons when I'm indecisive, horrible Libra trait.

Thanks everyone again.