These days you can get take away from food halls that are good(of course you have to try first) and then just freeze them. Generally they are way nicer than the frozen ones you buy in the supermarket. Buttered chicken from the Indian T/A is yummy or whatever there is around. But hey he has to understand that you arent a cook and not thinking of changing yourself for him. He likes you for who you are or finds someone that will cook.

Why are you so impatient?? He doesn't seem to have done anything wrong and is taking his time. Dont see nothing wrong with that. Do you know that a guys week is like our hour? And he does reply back to you in his own time and all you do is doubt him...think you have the problem here! These other guys that throw themselves at you...you arent interested in right? But the one that you are interested in you want to rush to the alter...sit back relax and get on with your own life instead of trying to force his hand...good things come to those who wait, cos he sounds like someone worth the extra time!

lol @ nefer you seem to have him summed up. Havnt seen any of his threads personally to be able to comment!

Oh god...this doesn't get easy and I thought I was a reformed Libra that has done away with the indecision. Everyones points are so valid and I agree with all the pros and cons but in my delimma I cant make up my mind which way I go!!!

Just as well there isn't a definite suitor but at the moment my train of thought is IF I was to consider marriage and a full life with someone then I wouldn't worry about a pre-nup. I think my choice of character from previous experience wouldn't be the type for it to turn nasty. (I have a 100% track record) But that's the way I am thinking now...And of course there will be a need to discuss the subject prior to marriage as he will probably have his own assets and children to consider too.

Of course if marriage isnt considered then there is NO problem whatsoever because no one is moving in with me or sharing full time my boudoir!

I can't tell you how much this topic does my head in!!!!!!

So are you saying you are happy because she is fat and looks old? And what if she had chosen you...would you have left her because of it?

We get our first Costco in Brisbane next year soooo we'll then see what all the fuss is about... *mental note* check out the grapes and watch for women with children and trolleys!

@ Fleo, my mother made her own bed. She always had her hand out for 50% of everything right down to a lottery ticket and if he didnt pay every cent then he wouldn't be entitled to half. She would say how he would miss a percentage if they won the big one and that could amount to alot! When going out the only time anyone was shouted is, if it were their birthday so she paid for what she ate & drunk and he paid for himself. 30 years this went on this way but now that he has the upper hand we hear her squeal (my brothers & I) she still has money to see her through the rest of her life without hardship but her income is low.

We feel she made her bed and now she has to lie in it and so does her partner. It's funny that now she thinks it should be different and that he should look after her. Maybe if she had been a little lenient in some of her decisions along the way it might be different but she wasn't!

Well, it was unintentional and at this stage we aren't in a relationship. He sort me out and expressed his desire to be with me and have a future together(we've known each other for over 35 years)...then he hits me with the children thing and also I think why he's packed a sad is because he is also expecting me to be the one to move over to where he is... This is where my REALITY checks in and he closes down because I'M NEGATIVE!!

His keep your mind open to all possibilities and anything can be achievable is now looking like you can do anything I want you too as long as you are open minded enough. And I did that for 20 years with my ex and I know I wont go down that track again...

@ Fleo...my mother did just that with her partner now of 30 years. His money was his and hers was her own, everything was divided equally even the share in the house they bought because he came with nothing and she had already something like 100,000k.

Now 30 years on, she's retired and he's 12 years younger so is still working. Her pension is effected and now the trouble has started from her telling him he cant work over time as everytime he does she gets cut etc she barely earns anything but he's not going to support her. After all she made the rules to suit her and stuck by it all those years.

It's opened my eyes to that type of relationship, and she says now what will I do when I find someone...def not that ^^^^^

Children!!! And I'm nearly 43 & have 3 that are all in their teens!!! And I finally have a real life...

so definetly not budging on that and have told him find someone that is more suitable. That's one, the other is because I havent opened my mind (apparently) to a real future because of the 1st problem and he says I'm negative but I've told him I'm trying to be real!

I dont think his desire to have more kids will fade and believe we are at a stale mate! And then I had mentioned because he had said he was busy that I was talking to someone else too...now that's when he packed the shits and signed off a week ago. (Just so you know we are in separate countries and converse over the net til we met up again in Feb, we've been friends since childhood and he thinks I'm the one for him) We seem to be a good match...although I'm losing it as I really cant stand being ignored it's a pet peeve of mine.

Great insight there Provs...I can and will ignore it because I've made up my mind and it's not likely to change...so sweeping it under the rug suits me too...only thing he wont get what he wants and even if he pretends that he can change my mind...I know he cant!


>>> No and Yes. Nothing in between. Leave then come back later along with that 'thing' or 'words' I wanted to hear. Your exit and re-entry must be original. Exit like a warrior, Re-enter like a warrior. If you become 'over' sappy and emotional that will stress me. It will just be a big frustration if you compete on his highfalutin' P-R-I-D-E.


I can taper my Pride it doesnt mean as much to me as you Leos...but once a Libra has made up their minds...they aren't going to change it for anyone! BUT I can still come back like a warrior! thanx

Yeah and he's not put off by the thought of going down on one

If you are sulking because you cant get what you want or havent been told what you want to hear...should I just leave you be? I tried light convo the next day but guess he's gone into hiding or needs time... And do you want the topic to come up again to resolve it or do you prefer to just sweep it under the rug?

I'm inclined to point out the problem and want to harsh it out but I think he'll deny there was anything wrong and make out I imagined it...

He says he likes my honesty so when I'm honest why is it a problem **shakes head**

Definitely Not...cos then I'd either be a cougar or he's be a 38 year old virgin and neither is appealing!! lol

The OP doesnt state anything about hardship it just says would that be sufficient and would you feel loved...

My Answer NO it wouldn't be sufficient and he could show other ways to make me feel loved but simply just saying it doesn't mean much unless he shows it too...with or without money.

Hmmmm, be hard for her to be going through all those things at once!! think more like her mind is working overtime because of what she is witnessing happeneing around her.

Yes saw that...someone mentioned that you should pull out and then start again and I remember once when that was done...it lets off one big lonnnnnng fart!!! More embarrassing than the original and then when you've got the giggles it can really kill the mood!!! Correction when I've got the giggles...it kills the mood with them :O

But what about the ones who have their best foot forward and you don't detect such wayward ways until you are in...


That being the case then, they can stay home and save if that's what they want... not me, I'm still going to do the things that I want and can afford with other friends. two people get into a relationship...one doesnt have to conform to the others ideal way of living.

What i have noticed is the value that other people put on expenditure, everyone is so different in what they think is worth it. ie: I'm happy with buying a fashionable item of clothing but my friend may only buy it if it has a recognised label. He may have no problem with buying something for work/sports/leisure and me I prefer to buy lunch/dinner or coffee out with mates. Nobody is right or wrong and as far as I'm concerned you work hard and therefore there should be some happiness in all those hours you put into generally being somewhere when you'd rather be somewhere else.

I know people that have saved and eaten out at cheap resturants so they could save money...and then died only to pass on all that hard earnt money to children who then squander all those savings quickly and without much thought!!!

Back to the original OP: I think the love would eventually fade for me BUT only if he was vocal in the way I used my money and tried to push his opinions onto me.

Before the relationship got off the ground this type of persons way would be evident & that type of person is unattractive to me...it's not something that is all of a sudden going to make an appearance during a marriage!! And them losing their job etc is completely different circumstances...

I have no problem with paying half but to not go out anywhere, dinners, shows or travel doesn't fit into my life style and what I personally like to do so again that person wouldn't ever be considered a potential partner!

Money made during a marriage is equal 50/50...even if he was the one physically earning it, she was doing other things like looking after children. In my experience a man working and earning a crust doesn't amount to much...it's the risks they take like buying property, building businesses or investing that adds up to bigger money. these risks are shared equally as they are mostly supported with both names on documents or the wife plays the behind the scenes role. Unless the person themselves was already rightfully a sucessful businessman before they got together.

Not sure about suing the mistress but solicitors thrive off unhappy separations and will surely make them pay with evidence...And then I've seen where a wealthy husband that cheated has made the wife suffer for leaving and all because she wasn't strong enough to GET MAD Grrrr