Posted by pooface222

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by pooface222
I'm talking about in a relationship.

What is it, when you are in a relationship with someone who wants everything their own way, and when you won't give them what they want, they appear to punish you with silence, ignoring your calls and texts, and won't call and text you.

And..is it abuse when you call them out on their bullshit, they play the victim by saying "you don't like me."
Then try to run away and then ignore you for days and days after.

Asking for a friend who told me this today ..

Sounds like gaslighting or like they have another relationship somewhere else.
It’s very immature and they will keep doing this because you accept the behavior and keep trying. Even if you call them out.

But the same can be said for them being upset that you aren’t giving them what they want and they are choosing not to accept contact from you.
It’s because they are upset and it seems like you don’t like them because you don’t want to make them happy, so why should they talk to you and make you happy if they are angry.

It’s incompatibility.

I understand but my friend has been trying to make him happy for a,while and she really loves him.
He just wants their rship on his terms or he won't speak to her.
He makes excuses as to why things can't be the way she suggests Yet she suggests things that benefit Both of them.

She practically begs him to speak to her.
The other day she SHOUTED at him because he blocked her. She had been upset with his behaviour but he couldn't see that he was hurting her emotionally.
He would always twist it round to it being him being hurt when its him hurting her. She is just reacting by telling him he can't treat her like this.

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This is you and the Pisces right??

“Asking for a friend.”

Happy birthday luv, hope you’ve had an awesome day 🎉🍾🍾🍾🎉

Posted by Aquamarine_

Posted by sweethearts
Sun in libra
Mars in Leo

Sign House Value
P(Pluto) 19 ;13'h (Virgo) House 5 695

R(Venus) 7 ;42'j (Libra) House 5 602

I(Uranus) 21 ;37'h (Virgo) House 5 574

E(Mercury) 4 ;57'k (Scorpio) House 7 572

O(Neptune) 20 ;36'k (Scorpio) House 7

Thank you

So I think you probably like very well-mannered men. He takes care of himself and his hygiene, I can see bad hygiene being a turn off for you. You’re probably a sucker for charismatic and well articulate men. He’s got to have a passion for something. Trashy men with foul mouths are a no go. He probably should be tight or careful with his money. You also want him to have layers, like you learn more about the longer you’re in the relationship.

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Spot on!! Now can you find him for me 😂 thanks 🙏

Sun in libra
Mars in Leo

Sign House Value
P(Pluto) 19 ;13'h (Virgo) House 5 695

R(Venus) 7 ;42'j (Libra) House 5 602

I(Uranus) 21 ;37'h (Virgo) House 5 574

E(Mercury) 4 ;57'k (Scorpio) House 7 572

O(Neptune) 20 ;36'k (Scorpio) House 7

Thank you

Posted by Jumpin_Jupiter

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by Soul
I think it's finally safe to say we are dead. I remember when a top tier post, or even a new edgy member would get 20+ likes with no effort. Anyone remember when a juicy thread could easily get 40+ pages? This use to happen weekly on multiple occasions. Maybe the algorithm banned and deleted every interesting person and aspect this site had? Figures I'd still be here to watch this place deteriorate. Or maybe it isn't? Maybe the chill low action atmosphere is the new trend? Who am I kidding, it's dead af. Thoughts?

When?? Never seen that in the years I’ve been here... think you’re dreaming!!

Dude telling the stone cold truth. This place is dead as a door knob. There used to be top tier threads with 20+ pages filled with good dramas way back in the orange dxp days even my threads sometimes would hit top tier. Now I remember this very well.

Im sorry. I can't with dxp like that anymore. Too many butthurt people on here for my dxp pleasure. It just ain't like how it used to be.

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Is that because people derail threads all the time? I mean they have nothing to add so they start bs for their own agendas.
When real people come for advice, only comment when you have something to say about the OP or take your convos to DM. Plus, so many bs threads made just to keep up their popularity. This site definitely turned about 8 years ago. Too many bored people living their lives here.

Posted by Soul
I think it's finally safe to say we are dead. I remember when a top tier post, or even a new edgy member would get 20+ likes with no effort. Anyone remember when a juicy thread could easily get 40+ pages? This use to happen weekly on multiple occasions. Maybe the algorithm banned and deleted every interesting person and aspect this site had? Figures I'd still be here to watch this place deteriorate. Or maybe it isn't? Maybe the chill low action atmosphere is the new trend? Who am I kidding, it's dead af. Thoughts?

When?? Never seen that in the years I’ve been here... think you’re dreaming!!

Posted by geminiwithataurusman

Posted by sweethearts
I have 2 friends that were married one for 14 years with 2 children and the other 23 with 3 children. Both husbands were cheating but staying for the kids. They managed to live double lives and probably would have still been in those lives until the children had left home, if it weren’t for the wives confronting them.

Some men will stay until they feel there will be less impact on their relationships with their children. I personally stayed another 8 years with my husband in hopes that the children would cope better.

It looks like, you’ll stay until the decision is made for you. I hope you are smart enough, knowing you won’t be able to cope financially to at least open another bank account and start saving for that time. He probably won’t leave you without some support by the sounds of things however you can’t take that risk that things won’t turn ugly... there is a third party involved which can influence decisions. She’s in this to win.

Thank you sweethearts. If I may ask a personal question, sweathearts, you stated you stayed another 8 years with your husband, did you do all of the things that my husband does, takes pictures happily with family and with you two as a couple, still sleep in the same bed, still do family outings, or did he know you were staying for your children and you removed yourself from acting married?

Thank you again.

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Everything as normal as possible (sex about once a month, we were married 19 years, family, communication, we had business’s) until the last year which was the bitter end and I couldn’t pretend anymore.

You’ll know when he’s checking out completely. Less fighting in the last year too when there’s nothing left to fight for so nothing bothers you anymore. You just let everything go over your head and want as little conflict as possible. But trust me, it’s all premeditated, waiting for the right time and how you can do it with as little hurt and impact on your partner and children. 8 years prior, I told him I’m not in love with you anymore, I love you like a friend.

Now in hindsight, he might have been able to change that if we got help then but we didn’t and there wasn’t a 3rd party involved. That is your biggest obstacle!

I have 2 friends that were married one for 14 years with 2 children and the other 23 with 3 children. Both husbands were cheating but staying for the kids. They managed to live double lives and probably would have still been in those lives until the children had left home, if it weren’t for the wives confronting them.

Some men will stay until they feel there will be less impact on their relationships with their children. I personally stayed another 8 years with my husband in hopes that the children would cope better.

It looks like, you’ll stay until the decision is made for you. I hope you are smart enough, knowing you won’t be able to cope financially to at least open another bank account and start saving for that time. He probably won’t leave you without some support by the sounds of things however you can’t take that risk that things won’t turn ugly... there is a third party involved which can influence decisions. She’s in this to win.

Wtf? You guys are splitting hairs over superficial shit!! What sort of relationship is this?? Certainly not one that’s going to last or become a marriage if that stuff is what is important. You don’t shower at hers or eat her food.. so she doesn’t hit you up for money. You aren’t an item or a couple, do you or does she count everything in your relationship to make sure it’s even?? 🤦🏼‍♀️

Starting to wonder if you’re just a troll..

Posted by geminiwithataurusman
Thank you everyone for all of your responses. I still have not said anything and still figuring it out in my head. This past weekend, we did all of the family things. Yesterday, we had a small gathering with family friends a couple and their children, we had a BBQ. Today we all had brunch with another family friend and their children. Again, you wouldn't be able to tell anything, he is present with all of us, takes photos and does it happily. I keep thinking maybe this woman is temporary for him because he is so present with our family.

One thing I’ve learned from experience and seeing what happens to other people and friends when relationships end. We/they all find out the person they thought they knew through and through doesn’t exist when they walk away. The person that you thought would never hurt you will turn his back and turn on you and a lot of the times it’s regardless of the children witnessing it or not.

He’s setting up a new life with her, a business and home. Of course he’s acting like he’s all in with the family. He’s fearful that if you get wind of any of this, you’ll take steps to stop him taking YOU to the cleaner financially.

Wake up!!! Your friend sent you here because you aren’t listening to her. Tell us what she is telling you to do. Go see a solicitor, get some professional advice. Safe guard yourself and the kids. If nothing comes of it. Great! But don’t allow yourself to be blindsided anymore, if not for your sake then for the kids!

If you make him cum first does that soften him for round 2? Then you take control and ride him.

Sounds like he’s a selfish lover tbh, surely he knows he’s hurting you if he’s a big boy! Yet he smashes you anyway for his pleasure!!

I couldn’t do it, the pain during sex and knowing it was coming would make me dread it every time and eventually after a very short honeymoon period, the sex would slow down very quickly. Not to mention the constant bladder infections 🙄 Fuck that!!!

Instinctively, which one do you feel the connection is with? Which one excites you more and has you thinking about them. Listen to the chemistry too!

I think it’s an article women should read when they are going through something like this. Yes it is stating the obvious, however, when you’re in it, you don’t see the woods for the trees.

Wow!!! How do you sound and stay so calm about all of this? You don’t sound angry or express how hurt you are. Sounds like you suspected this would happen so you’re taking it in the chin.

How long were you together before you split and then got back together and how long before you got pregnant?

Posted by jeane

Posted by Centaur12

Posted by jeane

Posted by Centaur12

Posted by sweethearts
The answer is right there... are you thinking about what you are reading? SMH 🤦🏼‍♀️ jeane’s post highlighted your exact situation. You are the one trying to change her in paragraph 2 and she is the manipulator!

Yeah but how do I sort this shit I just want to be happy with her and she says the same lol but then acts stupid.

either you both come together to talk about your issues, how you both feel, how you trigger each other and then come up with a plan with how to deal with things in the future, and then follow through with that plan.

if she is unlikely to change then you have three options
a) do the work on yourself and learn to accept her reactions
b) stay in the relationship, learn nothing about each other or yourself and continue the cycle with things getting steadily worse resulting in resentment, anger, dysfunction. saying she acts stupid is a good start down that road
c) leave and hope that the next one is better or face the same issues again because you've failed to do any work on yourself.

Ok so I just spoke to her.......

I said I do not want to go over things with you or bring them up again but I would like to know can you see a future with me and is this what you want and be honest.
She said yes she does.
I said in that case we need to talk not now but when we have 5 minuets and we are alone.
I said you need to tell me how I make you feel the things I do wrong to piss you off and I will also tell you what you do wrong as well.

Her response to that was why are you bringing things up again.
I said I just told you I'm not interested in going over things I just want to stop any future aggravation between us and for us to understand each other better so there is no issues and we can straighten it all out.

So not right now but when we have time alone I would like you to tell me the things that I do wrong for you and I will explain the things I feel you do wrong as well.

Could I be any fairer than this?

She said ok but not in an enthusiastic way and that she's not really seeming interested or wanting to.

I know why because she said to me she is feeling drained from it but so am I this is why I am trying to sort it once and for all.

i think a conversation is the best way forward. now that you are going to talk let my golden rule guide you

"seek first to understand, then be understood"

if you go into this genuinely curious to understand her point of view FIRST then there is a good chance you can work through it.

you can't say that she acts stupid - because you are trying to understand her perspective right?

you can't assume things about how she feels.

any question you ask must be made to genuinely hear the answer. take the time to listen to what she is saying. don't immediately react with a "yeah but". to her, even if you disagree, this is how she feels.

if need be, repeat to her what you think she said. not in an incredulous way but again in a honest and heartfelt attempt to really understand her perspective and how she feels when she storms out.

don't go in thinking you are going to force on her your feelings at any cost or that you are just waiting her out until you can have your say. the outcome is not to win the conversation but to come to an understanding of where the other is coming from. you are fighting the problem, not each other.

lastly, go in with "i" statements not "you" statements.
eg "i feel stupid/incompetant/lost/confused when xyz happens"
NOT "you are irrational/stupid/selfish/a bitch"

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I’m coming to you when I need help resolving things iml. Great advice, always.

The answer is right there... are you thinking about what you are reading? SMH 🤦🏼‍♀️ jeane’s post highlighted your exact situation. You are the one trying to change her in paragraph 2 and she is the manipulator!

r and all hare..

Ands?

You need to own it, come clean about why you broke it and answer all the questions the other person needs to hear. Have that tough conversation and then talk about what you’d like moving forward and how it can be achieved and if they want that too.

Once that conversation has happened then you need to give them the space they need to decide whether they are willing to work on the relationship together.

Like anything that is broken, you can try and repair it but there will always be a fracture which will remind the other person that it was broken. It will take a lot to try and conceal it!

Explorer/Builder

Interestingly, I should ideally match with someone just like me. Something I learnt myself after having a relationship with an opposite.