No, and I wouldn't go there to check his either! Why would you bother unless you dont trust them and then that says it all doesn't it! Would you open his mail or check through his pockets or ring his work and question the receptionist??? Where would it stop?

I knew of a situation where the gf drove down to the golf course with kids in tow to check whether he actually was playing golf with his buddies or not...She had to drive right passed them and not look when all the guys were looking at her and teasing him about how untrusting she was. One of the kids couldn't help but look and smile and wave...funny enough they are still together now...

It's weird but nice, he isn't the person I knew but he is! He has matured alot and is very worldly and experienced through his travels and also very attentive and affectionate over the net! Far out it's like a movie!!! hehe Very simple things like me saying I've got to take my daughter to school and he's like drive safely. Loads of flattery and apologises if he hasn't had contact because he's busy. But thing that gets me is the certainty of the fact that we will be great together...quite a dominant Leo. And if that's the case we live between 3 countries..Spain, Aussie & NZ...how's that going to work??? Can't ask that yet. have to wait the 7 months and see how things go!

I'm talking to someone on the net that wants a relationship with me, we have been talking for the last 3 weeks. I've known him for over 35 years well but not in the last 10 years both having lived separate lives and in different countries. We wont see each other for at least 7 months now. I have always had a great deal of love (brotherly) for this man...

Do you think it's possible to establish sexual feelings towards him during this time? I dont have any yet. He's expecting it as he has confessed to being "in love" with me throughout the years & suggests that we could be great together...

As a partner on paper he has ticked most of the boxes of importance as to what I'd look for but I'm not sure on the sexual side because of our history.

Ok we had a chat online today, I saw him there & said hi, & he said he was just writing me a letter! ha

We have decided to meet up in NZ in Feb, he'll be there for 4 months, working holiday and building around his home. He also wants me to come to Europe when he goes back but I'm sooo overwhelmed with everything, I'm saying slow down!! Nothing has happened yet and might not! I told him I'm not the type to sleep with random guys and havent been with anyone for 6 months but he still insists when I asked if i would have my own room...you'll be sleeping with me darling! I'm really not use to someone so dominant, I've always thought I wanted that...be careful what you ask for! He didnt even flinch when I joked about him paying for me to come visit...in fact he said where do you want to meet in NZ or Europe?

It's really hard to get through to him that I'm coming to see if it might work but he's so convinced it will it's a little scary to me! I guess he can only but throw me out in the cold if I dont want to go any further but I guess that's where our friendship has to kick in!!! hahaha

Yes it's a Libran trait, we think that people will care for us forever probably because we do think about you all even after the fact of what we may have unintentionally done to hurt you. I know when I'm thinking about an ex I always remember the good stuff and I guess that's what will make me wonder what they are up to... but like drunk texting it's taboo to go there...

Glad though that you are strong enough to realise you are better than what this person wants you around for. Stick to your guns and YES I believe you can care for someone that you have been intimate with but not want anything further from them. It even annoys me when guys are coming back into exs lives for their own self fish reasons and it's not only Librans that do it!!!

Libra sun/taurus rising brown eyes with hazel flecks

And yes Tasha I would think this is genetics, all my children have brown/hazel eyes and I certainly wouldn't expect one with blue eyes being asian/european/maori

Thanks slowdance, I think I will only know for sure when I see and spend sometime with him, at this stage I'm not going to be flitting half way around the world to find out, (I have commitments, ie: children, job, finances) but I think he often goes home for Xmas and Aussie is really close to NZ so he can easily come to me.

Another thing he said was inevitably we will always be in each others lives as "good karma" will throw us together, so even if I have hurt his pride a little for now I dont believe he will cut me off completely.

He is a good man and if we were together yes I think it could be good but I have to know that my love is not just a brotherly love I want to be "in love"


when a leo feels rejected, it weighs heavily on their ego which may cause them to retract or appear aloof

YES most definietly my friend, he's so use to getting everything he wants esp girls I can see this has hurt his pride but then that is the way I handle things when I dont know the answers...I just let it slide for a bit or even joke around til I can make a decision...the right decision for me.

6 months now because there isn't anyone worth it!

But when I was with someone the longest was around 3 months before I slept with them...and the decision was purely i wanted them to wait til I was ready and I wanted to really get to know that person properly first...we married and stayed together 20 years!

I find that if you sleep with a guy too early before getting to know them and visa versa the relationship barely gets off the ground and is over within 3 months...No depth maybe???

Thanks guys, this is a heart wrenching decision for me but think I've done most of what i can do and also feel he needs to contribute something other than a weekend and a little money. He has been in their lives like your dad Briana but not too involved. (More so now that we split 3 and a half years ago) The girls at least the 2 younger ones dont have a lot of respect or take much discipline from him and I have always been the disciplinary parent... they do know when I mean business but sometimes wait til I lose my cool before something is done and that's what has tired me out more than anything!

I dont think he has a stronger impact but think he has a better life style with the religion and think that maybe he has better guidelines now than I do.

Just a break wont do as I he has had her over holidays and also travelled back to NZ for 6 weeks with her in the Xmas holidays. I'm thinking for the rest of the year at least as she has to change schools and will only be with me every 2nd weekend as I work all weekend and holidays. It's a toughy but think it is for her best too.

Thanks again Lana & Briana, just a little outside feedback certainly helps me weighing up my decision and definietly from the both of you as I respect your opinions SH

Yes ike I'm indecisive but I know I'm worth it...and he obviously has seen that. He is the well tracelled one with the pick of women from round the world! So waiting is a must for me

@ Robin "blocked taboo" 2 weeks ago he was a brother from another mother and today he's asked me to consider the possiblity of a "idk"

that's what I said to him lovage, 'my head hurts trying to figure this out and seeing we are worlds apart I'll leave it til we are in the same room together...' he didnt appear to like that answer and joked about whether we would be fucking each others brains out or sipping coffee chatting and just wondering!

to which I replied the coffee and chatting has always worked in the past...

Needless to say I haven't heard from him in a couple of days although we have both been online...

Am I being too insensitive, because I cant have all the answers?

Yeah I've thought about that too, migrating to Auss was a biggy for me and I wouldn't want to live anywhere else permanently. Going to Europe would just be for travel & to see as much of the world as I can.

Maybe it's just something he wanted to get off his chest, idk.

Still I know we'll keep in contact and our paths will cross again at some point... I guess if he really means what he says then he'll make it happen.

Problem there is crossing that line...I find it very hard to sleep with someone and not fall for them at somestage, which can happen very quickly with some. Maybe this could be the perfect FWB's...but it's a hell of a long way to travel for the benefit part! lol

Lovage, I dont think I've explained clearly.

I've grown up with him since we were 4 & 5. We were together every week several times a week in fact through til we were about 14 and our mother's parted ways, but we lived in the same neighbourhood and often bumped into each other. As a teenager, he was very popular with the ladies and ever since I have known him, he has been. He used to tell me about the girls he was with (through high school years) and when he visited from overseas, (in his 20's) has stayed with one gf at our place( my husband and I.) I haven't seen him in 10 years now.

On his facebook, I've seen lots of comments from girls that he has met during his travels pleading for him to come back and visit. (of course I dont know the reason why they have asked...but think it's fairly obvious)

His revelation, stating he was in love with me all along has caught me totally off guard as I never picked up on anything but friendship! My intuition is saying I dont think he would be just wanting to fuck me..this is what he wrote

And hey, I always thought great things about you .....I was so in love with you for
sooooo long but you were married and so I kept it too myself. I don't think there is
anything wrong with that.....but you can take it as a true compliment xxxxxxxxxxxxx
from an old love. I think there was a great spark between me and you xxxxxxxx
ok bed time good night !!!!!x


However, 1. I'm not sure and 2. Can a man that has lead such a life ever really settle down.

Because, if I went down that track I'm a one man women and would surely expect the same!

Yes that's where I'm at, I dont want to spoil the friendship we have over a fuck!!! Not sure if he is NOT going with other women at this stage, we have only just in the past 2 weeks been talking online and I wouldn't expect him to stop living with nothing solid. He is making suggestions that if anyone can make a relationship work it is people like us that have a solid friendship base 1st then lovers 2nd.

He's tops when it comes to most of what I like in a man, educated, funny, travelled, easy to talk to and very familiar but it's hard getting past the almost brother/sister feelings. That may never happen...

Thanks lovage, my initial assessment will be through internet as he is in Spain and I in Australia...so far although the conversations are interesting I've picked up on the me me me!

He does have a lovely way with words and flattery and I'm lapping that up but also women throwing themselves at him and that would never sit with me, too insecure with that from previous relationships.

Something else he said made me wonder if he is looking to just fuck me because he's always wanted to and wants to scratch that itch...

I dont know, confused, but it's not something I'd do without really feeling secure about and wanting to. I think the fact that we have been good friends all our lives is making me as a Libran really weigh up the situation as he would be one of the last people I'd want to hurt.

Actually I found the book real easy to read and very informative. It also highlighted alot of things us ladies think and the way men think differently. Def like the point about the 3 month period, great illustration!

When would anyone agree 100% ? What dont you agree with?

I've just recently linked up on facebook with an old friend who I grew up with. I woke up one morning and decided to look him up and add him as a friend. He responded immediately with lots of flattering remarks and how happy he was to connect with me again. He travels the world as a chef to rich people on their yachts...what a life! Anyway he has been doing this for nearly 20 years.

Our mothers were best of friends as we grew up, I think we were around 4 & 5 when they met and so we spent alot of time in each others company as our mums played the single parents and dating game. Of course like in most cases we had our times of curiosity playing games like kiss chase but nothing serious and we even went out one night when I was around 18 & he 17 and ended up kissing..nothing more. When I turned 19 I started going out with my future husband of 20 years. My friend stayed a friend throughout all those years, when he came back home from overseas he always looked me up and as a family friend I helped out when there was a tragedy in their family and always remained in his families life. I mean his mum was like a 2nd mum to me.

Now he has hit me with, he's been in love with me all along and held his tongue because I was married-I'm now separated after 3 1/2 years. It has taken me completely by surprise and I'm not sure exactly how to feel. We are really good friends & theres alot between us but I'm not sure if it goes further. It's possible... He has asked me to come to Spain, travelling Europe is part of a plan for me at some stage. He says things like we could be good together as we know each other well etc. And has been more verbal about his feeling than any man I've met, even saying, have I told you I love you. That may have been a comment not a statement though given the context of our conversation at the time.

Anyway what I want to know is Are Leo's like that? Do they let go of all their feelings, if they think they love someone. He is a very popular man with the ladies but never one to settle down, I thought. Are Leo men & Libran women compatible?

I have 3 daughters of which I feel I bought up mostly on my own. They have put me through most everything you can think of and I've struggled to deal with it and seen them through. The 2 oldest are now working and the 3 is still in school turning 14 this year. My problem is that she has been playing up at school for the last 2 years, not listening to teachers and being sent from class for disruption, she was suspended last term for swearing at the teacher and no matter what I say and how I punish her she will be good for a period and then revert back to what she wants to do. She doesn't take to authority if she doesn't like that person! I have 80 percent control over her in my home but when she leaves it, it's a different story...problem is, I'm tired of handling it all on my own with no respect as it is geting harder to keep her under control.

My ex maintains of course that he has been a big player in their lives however I beg to differ. He currently lives 30 mins away and very rarely comes down here to attend anything like parent interviews etc (didnt come to the meeting with the principle to return her to school after the suspention, and he doesn't work) or doesn't know much about what's up with her apart from what I tell him and when it comes to them acting up I always inform him to which he may ring them and have a quick talk! GREAT when there has been some BIG events that I alone dealt with. He has the younger one every weekend and has done since mid last year because I insisted. The oldest now lives with him because of religious reasons. And the middle one doesn't really have much to do with him unless she needs money which she knows she can always get from him. Oh I've spoken with him about buying their affection and no matter how I put it he just thinks it's an attack from me to his way of fathering so I've given up on it and leave it be. (I left him and I guess somethings are now out of bounds)

What I'm thinking of doing is sending her to live with him permanently and taking on his role...

1. Because I'm tired and I'm being selfish too. I've been telling her for the last year that if she isn't going to put more effort into school and her attitude towards me then I will send her there. She doesn't want to go. He is religious as I said and has a better life style than I do. I have lots of friends (mates) and party most weekends.

Scales are out of whack...your views are appreciated. SH

Yes P I'm unsure because

1. I dont just jump in bed with any guy and he's use to having anyone he wants
2. There is certainly attraction there on both sides and also hesitation, almost like a stalemate...

Out of his league - my reference to the girls he would normally take home, no class and easy. I'm definetly classier than that and proud of it!!! Girls throw themselves at guys now a days and so most guys just think what the heck and run with it.

If I was to go down that path then it would be to explore the possibility of something more meaningful where as I feel he would probably just want to get his rocks off as he has done with others.

looking at it now as it's written down, the answer is staring me in the face...leave well enough alone...

You appear to be too hard to get?
Out of their league? ( Without sounding to full of it...classier)
Too confident?
And best mates with their (girl) flat mate?

Met an awesome girl and became fast friends but she has a honey of a flat mate who is very popular with the ladies and commitment phoebic but certainly has an eye for me, even offering me a place to sleep in his room on the sly to which I gracefully declined, as I know he can just snap his fingers and have girls running and that's not me!

Not sure what I'd want myself but certainly not to be used! Or maybe it's been too long and I'm just wanting or needing a little fantasizing