Yes that's where I'm at, I dont want to spoil the friendship we have over a fuck!!! Not sure if he is NOT going with other women at this stage, we have only just in the past 2 weeks been talking online and I wouldn't expect him to stop living with nothing solid. He is making suggestions that if anyone can make a relationship work it is people like us that have a solid friendship base 1st then lovers 2nd.

He's tops when it comes to most of what I like in a man, educated, funny, travelled, easy to talk to and very familiar but it's hard getting past the almost brother/sister feelings. That may never happen...

Thanks lovage, my initial assessment will be through internet as he is in Spain and I in Australia...so far although the conversations are interesting I've picked up on the me me me!

He does have a lovely way with words and flattery and I'm lapping that up but also women throwing themselves at him and that would never sit with me, too insecure with that from previous relationships.

Something else he said made me wonder if he is looking to just fuck me because he's always wanted to and wants to scratch that itch...

I dont know, confused, but it's not something I'd do without really feeling secure about and wanting to. I think the fact that we have been good friends all our lives is making me as a Libran really weigh up the situation as he would be one of the last people I'd want to hurt.

Actually I found the book real easy to read and very informative. It also highlighted alot of things us ladies think and the way men think differently. Def like the point about the 3 month period, great illustration!

When would anyone agree 100% ? What dont you agree with?

I've just recently linked up on facebook with an old friend who I grew up with. I woke up one morning and decided to look him up and add him as a friend. He responded immediately with lots of flattering remarks and how happy he was to connect with me again. He travels the world as a chef to rich people on their yachts...what a life! Anyway he has been doing this for nearly 20 years.

Our mothers were best of friends as we grew up, I think we were around 4 & 5 when they met and so we spent alot of time in each others company as our mums played the single parents and dating game. Of course like in most cases we had our times of curiosity playing games like kiss chase but nothing serious and we even went out one night when I was around 18 & he 17 and ended up kissing..nothing more. When I turned 19 I started going out with my future husband of 20 years. My friend stayed a friend throughout all those years, when he came back home from overseas he always looked me up and as a family friend I helped out when there was a tragedy in their family and always remained in his families life. I mean his mum was like a 2nd mum to me.

Now he has hit me with, he's been in love with me all along and held his tongue because I was married-I'm now separated after 3 1/2 years. It has taken me completely by surprise and I'm not sure exactly how to feel. We are really good friends & theres alot between us but I'm not sure if it goes further. It's possible... He has asked me to come to Spain, travelling Europe is part of a plan for me at some stage. He says things like we could be good together as we know each other well etc. And has been more verbal about his feeling than any man I've met, even saying, have I told you I love you. That may have been a comment not a statement though given the context of our conversation at the time.

Anyway what I want to know is Are Leo's like that? Do they let go of all their feelings, if they think they love someone. He is a very popular man with the ladies but never one to settle down, I thought. Are Leo men & Libran women compatible?

I have 3 daughters of which I feel I bought up mostly on my own. They have put me through most everything you can think of and I've struggled to deal with it and seen them through. The 2 oldest are now working and the 3 is still in school turning 14 this year. My problem is that she has been playing up at school for the last 2 years, not listening to teachers and being sent from class for disruption, she was suspended last term for swearing at the teacher and no matter what I say and how I punish her she will be good for a period and then revert back to what she wants to do. She doesn't take to authority if she doesn't like that person! I have 80 percent control over her in my home but when she leaves it, it's a different story...problem is, I'm tired of handling it all on my own with no respect as it is geting harder to keep her under control.

My ex maintains of course that he has been a big player in their lives however I beg to differ. He currently lives 30 mins away and very rarely comes down here to attend anything like parent interviews etc (didnt come to the meeting with the principle to return her to school after the suspention, and he doesn't work) or doesn't know much about what's up with her apart from what I tell him and when it comes to them acting up I always inform him to which he may ring them and have a quick talk! GREAT when there has been some BIG events that I alone dealt with. He has the younger one every weekend and has done since mid last year because I insisted. The oldest now lives with him because of religious reasons. And the middle one doesn't really have much to do with him unless she needs money which she knows she can always get from him. Oh I've spoken with him about buying their affection and no matter how I put it he just thinks it's an attack from me to his way of fathering so I've given up on it and leave it be. (I left him and I guess somethings are now out of bounds)

What I'm thinking of doing is sending her to live with him permanently and taking on his role...

1. Because I'm tired and I'm being selfish too. I've been telling her for the last year that if she isn't going to put more effort into school and her attitude towards me then I will send her there. She doesn't want to go. He is religious as I said and has a better life style than I do. I have lots of friends (mates) and party most weekends.

Scales are out of whack...your views are appreciated. SH

Yes P I'm unsure because

1. I dont just jump in bed with any guy and he's use to having anyone he wants
2. There is certainly attraction there on both sides and also hesitation, almost like a stalemate...

Out of his league - my reference to the girls he would normally take home, no class and easy. I'm definetly classier than that and proud of it!!! Girls throw themselves at guys now a days and so most guys just think what the heck and run with it.

If I was to go down that path then it would be to explore the possibility of something more meaningful where as I feel he would probably just want to get his rocks off as he has done with others.

looking at it now as it's written down, the answer is staring me in the face...leave well enough alone...

You appear to be too hard to get?
Out of their league? ( Without sounding to full of it...classier)
Too confident?
And best mates with their (girl) flat mate?

Met an awesome girl and became fast friends but she has a honey of a flat mate who is very popular with the ladies and commitment phoebic but certainly has an eye for me, even offering me a place to sleep in his room on the sly to which I gracefully declined, as I know he can just snap his fingers and have girls running and that's not me!

Not sure what I'd want myself but certainly not to be used! Or maybe it's been too long and I'm just wanting or needing a little fantasizing

Being single.. is fun and I feel free and happy.. lol as corny as that sounds. If I meet someone who gives me that allows me to be all those things..then ok but until then...Im gonna fly solo.


Nothing wrong with that, I'm there after a twenty year marriage and also have thought your thoughts on do I really want to have another long term relationship. I ponder these thoughts when I feel the need to be cuddled but remember how hard it can be in a relationship and that's enough for me to see how happy I am now!

I look at it like this, it's not that I'm lonely but sometimes I find myself alone and I do like to have people around alot

Ahahaha this sounds like a story that "fund a mental" would put out!

Star not so easy when your heart is involved and the mind will take over to remember things which is harder to control than you think, but time heals all wounds.

Strength and power is great when you're young and striving to find your way in life but watch it doesn't lead you to a lonely existance...

Thanks again Deem, will pick some up today and try it out

That's typical guys banter and the way they interact with each other. Kiwi's are big on their culture especially when they live overseas, most like people to know where they are from and proudly display it on clothes, cars etc.

Yes agreed with K, impossible to just stop loving someone. You have to go through the motions of letting that relationship go which is best if they are no longer around you. Geez unfortunetly it can take an awful long time but the thoughts do start diminishing from 3 months onwards.

Why do you want to stop loving being in love, it's one of the most wonderful feelings in the world! Ok so it hasn't worked with one person but you know if you fall off the horse aren't you going to get back on?? Don't give up...the pain will ease in time 6 months for me...

Thanks have tried that on numerous occassions but without much luck Haven't tried the witch hazel though, is this along the same lines...menthol?

I go to the gym alot and also when I sweat it's always down the cleavage area which I believe is causing these horrid little creatures. I live in Australia and mostly it's warm and sunny here. I've never really had much of an acne problem so can anyone give me suggestions as to how to...

1. get rid of them
2. Stop them returning

Thanks All

If he can and is allowed to look through your facebook and ask questions then there shouldnt be a problem you doing the same. If she only came over the once how do you know that she didnt just pop over unannounced? Some chicks will do that, her intentions maybe untoward but that's where you have to trust your partner, that is really important in a relationship.

Also I would think that he hasn't mentioned it because it was no big deal to him and he has nothing to hide but you will find that out with his reaction when you bring it up with him.

Dont feel bad for what you did, he wont be feeling bad for you and everything you will be going through in the next 3-6 months trying to get over him. Now just concentrate on healing yourself, it's not easy but you have to build up a resistance to him for when he calls you again...and a typical Libran will! Be Strong!

DOM, us wise ones still need this info too! lol

I'm a kiwi from NZ and a wedding ring is definitely worn on the left hand. Sounds to me as if mummy may have bought him a ring from NZ does it have something on it like a fern, koru which is the birth of a fern leaf or something kiwi orientated?

then again if his mates are joking around it could have come from the gf and her way of hinting to commit which is why the mates are teasing him.

So he's not single??? Watch out those kiwi boys are lady killers esp if he's a Maori!! But they are yummy

Why do you think it means something? A hunch or intuition maybe??

As far as i know it doesn't mean a thing, maybe he was bought it by someone or fancied it himself and bought it. It's on the right hand not the left which is the wedding finger. It could have possible come from a women in of importance. What's your take on it as you know him better than any of us.