First of all men and women are so different so I dont even know if what I am saying is the same for him but...if I was doing what he was doing it's because I'm not convinced whether you want me or not and I dont want to let it go so I'm popping up...just in case. Until I get a definite "I dont want you" I find it hard to let go. This is probably why Librans pop in and out of past lovers lives because they are never told point blank "it's over and I dont ever want to see you again"

So if you dont want him around you have to make it VERY clear and he will let go but if you do, now is the time to open those communication lines up and make it perfectly clear what YOU want!

One thing though, if you chose to be with him, I would make sure you address the other guys he had seen you with or make him address it because I know that in this circumstance if I got you I would let it slide for now so as not to create waves....BUT I'd never forget and it would come back up in the future...whether that be through a heated arguement or a legitimate reason for me thinking you could be a player or cheater...

Yes think this through and make up your mind whether you want him or not because at the moment you are both in limbo.

Sit him down and have it out with him, lay the law down of what you want if you must but he sounds very immature. I say that because he has resulted in stalking you instead of talking to you about where your realtionship is. Is there any reason why he thinks he cant talk to you?

Do you want to be with him?

Well there you have it...we had too much money and kids! lol

Well you sound like you have met 2 descent guys/friends BUT are they the one??? Do you have to settle for either one for any reason? Doesn't sound to me like either will fulfill you til death do you part...

What's the rush?

WOW that's quick, 2 years in NZ & 1 in Australia. And to legally end it you have to have a solicitor involved and they try and drag it out as long as possible so they can get as much as they can!

I've had thoughts of it but don't always act upon it! Would depend how much the person in question has hurt me. At the end of the day I believe what goes around comes around...I just wish I could be there to watch for myself! lol

Good advice somechick.

Leave, it's the best thing you can do. When a relationship has gotten to this level it is more damaging to the kids to stay. Neither of you are happy so why are you staying, if you leave now both will be able to find happiness again.

Sometimes we stay because we are scared of change and use the children as our excuse. It is scary going back out there all alone but trust me (I've been through it) within a month or 2 you will know that it was the best thing in the world for YOU and although the kids do initially have a problem, with love and understanding they do get by. One thing though, dont ever put your wife down to your daughter, if you have nothing good to say then dont say a thing!

Another thing, check yourself into counselling to enable you to sort through your feelings on the breakdown of your marriage and allow yourself to move on without the baggage.

If he is acting this way and you aren't even going out does that not ring off warning bells????? Seriously!

The only person I would think that may act like that is someone that is following around a cheating wife/husband for confirmation of the infidelity!

I would suggest you tell him straight out that he's being creepy!

The problem is with men & women is that you dont speak the same language. It's not a star sign thing at all.

You suggest some fun sporting thing and he tries to back out... I would too mostly, it's probably not something he is interested in so therefore it doesn't appeal. DO you have anything in common...go with that. It's about geting to know each other and doing the things you BOTH like together. Not just something you like the sounds of. Many times I see women dragging their spouses out shopping and they really DONT look like they are having fun. In fact I bet neither end up having a good time!

@somechick,

no we dont like being confronted about personal feelings etc but I would think that is because it's at a point where we haven't made up our minds on it. From what I've seen here you girls are wanting to know how these guys feel about you after they have been going out for a month or two and pushing for clarification of an exclusive relationship! Try not having sex with them til you get what you want!

If however it is talking about something that has come up within your realtionship then pre-warn about the topic first and give a little time so they can digest it and have some answers. I think it's being put on the spot that makes us feel like we are being cornered.

And to be honest I think I'd run from another Libra as I've worked hard on myself and making snap decisions esp on the small stuff because I found it all too frustrating!! lol

Yeah I thought he was a STALKER too...be careful!

He doesn't own anything but a car she said and he even has that in his parents name!! They were living at his parents place. Plus trying to get blood out of a stone would be a waste of time, solicitors for separation cost over $ 200.00 an hour in my country and they would end up with it all!

Yeah it is, some of us cant even find one suitable and she has two!!



I think you are more inclined to want the Libran over the Leo...WHY???

Because you arent getting everything handed to you on a plate with the Libran and the Leo is going all out there...that's the heart.

But the head would go with the Leo, there is more security there, still not perfect but more workable and he's more of the bird in hand unlike the other flighy one!

OMG, you really have it bad for this guy huh? Sometimes just the excitement alone with all the fantasies is fulfilling in itself.

Although I do hope you find him, it'd be like one of those movies...Sleepless in Seatttle or the like

Move on and take it as a lesson and hope your husband doesnt find out that the child isnt his. You were a bit of fun but that has all ended with you bearing his child, he now wants you to remain hidden and not jeopardize his family.

You are angry right now but not angry enough, to heal a broken heart you need to go through 4 emotions:

Anger, Sadness, Fear & Sorrow. This will take time but processing these emotions will help you to move on and be open to find love again.

I also would make him face up to what he has done by claiming what you are intitled to, even if it is purely to teach him a lesson. The choice is yours though.

Good luck

The way he has treated you sounds as if he has made up his mind and wants out of the marriage and the reason why he wont respond to your wishes of talking is because he doesnt want to confront the problems with you. It's messy and he just wants to go on and not have to deal with the guilt of how he is treating you.

You say your life together was boring and he felt suffocated, on top of all that you constantly fought over little things. This I believe is why he has given up and wants to move on, Librans dont like confrontaion. I give in even when I'm wrong if the other person is persistant or at least I drop the subject or change it, especially if I can see it's not worth getting heated up about. If I was constantly fighting with someone I wouldn't want to be around them either!


Of course you want to try and work things out but from my own personal experience, once I had made up my mind I didnt want to talk about it. I said what I wanted to say but didnt want to discuss it, the fact is it was over and I had given in my mind enough reason.(I wouldn't even consider counselling because nothing would change my mind) You see this decision hasn't just appeared out of nowhere, I would think more months of thought.

When my husband did corner me into talking, I would sit there for the hour(it felt like it) and unemotionally answer only with definite confirmations of there's no going back for me. Even through his tears (which would normally upset me if anyone is crying) I showed NO emotion! It was a defence mechanism for me.

The only thing I would suggest is give him some time but dont sit around moping, go on with your life in the meantime. Then when he is ready he may give you some of the answers you need, Yes it's unfair of him but he's only looking out for himself which everyone does. I dont think anything you say is going to "Get through to him" the balls in his court...Sorry

Well I thought I couldn't AND then I did!!!! Through loneliness & moving to a new country and having been separated for 2 1/2 years and being super horny!! A neighbor of my mums asked me out, he was younger and we had a great time and then wham!!! My choice too and certainly out of character! lol

But yeah he wanted more so we stopped but remained good friends.

Well said somechick!! **claps**

No truth be known neither liked confrontation and when you are friends within the relationship it can be bearable. We also worked together so had a focus of building our business and concentrated on material things and the kids. But like a volcano things just built up and eventually exploded.

We are now after 3 1/2 years good friends again, we can share family meals together or just a beer or wine. Mind you neither of us has moved on with a permanent partner yet...I hope he finds someone!