Seems like an age since I really enjoyed a mans' company, someone to talk to and laugh with and make you smile. It feels rather lonely at times even though my life is completely filled with friends and family and social activity. There are always plenty of offers or attention but nothing that attracts me enough to want to open myself up to, I'm starting to think that i'm too fussy. I can see a thousand guys and not look twice at any of them, I'm looking for what I like to call "my flavor"
Anyone else out there also have these droughts, mine last 10 months and longer...
Do you feel that you should drop some of your requirements...for instance I like brown guys and preferrable from my own country even though I live in Australia, (there are plenty here though)i find that we have more in common with upbringing and just the whole nationalistic pride. Easy conversation etc, my guard drops and I automatically feel comfortable around my own..
I've also read alot of threads here and people seem to date different men quite frequently, I dont see the point in going out with someone that I'm not interested in from the first meeting...should I?
I think it's all about the 2 people and how they satisfy each other. I've been with someone who satisfied me in every posible way and as frequently as I and he wanted. We were on a par with each other sexually and it was explosive!
The last guy and (I have to say he was a Scorp)...as all the Scorps here seem to think they are the best lovers...
he was fantastic with the foreplay but fizzled somewhat when I was hoping for an explosive ending... but I think we weren't completely in sync.
Yeah plenty of us out there like that, i hate it the most when i wake in the middle of the night and then can't go back to sleep and WHY cos the bugger has popped into my mind and wont let me!!!
But when someone just as exciting comes along...I know it'll all go away...
you have to learn how to change your thoughts and the direction of them. If it's a song "change it" when you are fantasizing "Stop it" tell yourself out loud if you have to! Keep finding ways to replace those thoughts because the more you dwell the more he sticks around AND remember the BAD things and how badly you were treated instead of all the good things as the bad will outway the good!
BUT IN REALITY, WE DONT WANT TO LET GO AND FORGET THAT PERSON...DO WE?? WE WANT TO KEEP PRETENDING...EVEN IF IT IS TAKING IT'S TOLL OR PREVENTING US FROM MOVING FORWARD...
Once you've made your mind up to move on... it'll get easier
But "Attraction" not in the sexual sense as i think you are looking at GG, attraction in the sense that she is interesting in some way for them to have a friendship whether it be some common interest or the fact that they can talk/communicate openly together.
If there is nothing that jells you to someone else then you dont really bother with them therefore no friendship.
Sweetsherrie, you need to move on, sometimes you never find out the why's because they dont want to go down that path with you because they know that they cant give you the answer you are looking for and it hurts a Librian more to hurt someone else.
Hold your head up high and know that it wasn't anything you did but rather it just wasn't working between the 2 of you and it really doesn't matter for what reason. You cant go back so go forward and there will be something and someone better around the corner!
I dont jump from relationship to relationship with men but that's because I'm very selective on the person that I would choose to go out with and that must be a good thing if as you say "you are the chosen one" And yes I definitely pour my everything into a relationship adopting the other persons interests so that we can enjoy things together within reason. If I hated it I wouldn't bother. Is that such a bad thing?
From experience with my gf's I have noticed that I will jump from friend to friend as it suits me and what I get back from them. And I have noticed that the other friends will miss my company as I'm not around as much, as I move on because they got alot from me & my friendship. In my circumstance it is more that most of my friends have partners so therefore being a third wheel is fun for awhile but ultimately we want to go different places etc. I dont drop them completely but just share myself around. Too much fun to be found out there!
I'd liken that to what you see a Libra doing in a relationship, if you aren't fulfilling them for any reason whether it be your choice(which I felt may have been the case Kry) then eventually if someone else comes their way of interest then they will take up that opportunity...Wouldn't anyone??? Yes it could be a quick transition but how often does someone that grabs your attention really come along??? Last year I had 2 guys at once that i was interested in and that created such dilemma in my life!! WTF and then I'll go for another 10 months or more with NOTHING!
But i dont think he did it intentionally to hurt you, we just want to be happy ourselves as most people do. There is nothing worst than the end of a once beautiful union and all the feelings this stirs up! So what better way to heel than with someone new?
AND that would only happen if it is made perfectly clear that the relationship is over!
He has no respect for you and doesn't see you as a FULL time anything, you are a convenience for whenever he needs you as long as you take it...been there done that but wouldn't take it!
My advice is to find someone that says and means it when he says he loves you...you'll know because he will be there right by your side! When it comes time to start a family you dont want some jerk that disappears all the time because he needs some time out...
These guys, alot of them Scorps but also I've seen them in alot of other threads are immature and players, you ladies/girls need to make a stand and STOP allowing them to lower your self esteem!!
I feel the same too, I dont like guys to buy me drinks etc because then I feel I owe them something. So generally will pay for myself, but if they get in first then I will make sure I pay for the next. I dont go out to dinner with anyone unless it's looking more serious. That doesn't happen that often but I would allow them to pay if they were insistant and then deal with my own uneasiness.
Oh...it was always a bumpy ride with the 2 of us, lots of disagreements and the protective shell thing drove me nuts!! Couldn't understand why he couldn't open up and share some things.. But also alot of passion
One thing though...I'd get to the bottom of the "EX" thing before making up your mind on anything! Letting go of someone that has meant alot to us is not an easy thing to do unless they have made it VERY CLEAR that they aren't interested and would NEVER be again!!
My situation was the other way around in which I am the librian and he was the Cancer.
I did similar and sent a text one night randomly after about 3 months, not expecting too much but when he replied almost instantly I knew he missed me and there was still plenty there.
As everyone says, take things slowly and make sure that things are right with you both & it's really what you want, as you weren't 100% sure last time. DONT let him get too comfortable, you both need to keep things alive. In my experience the honeymoon period is at least 2 years for a good long relationship. But I always beleive people deserve a second chance but not a third!!! He should understand that completely!
Good luck mate, keep yourself guarded but not too much so that he can feel some love. It'll be awesome to hear another happy outcome