Posted by pisceanloves
Sounds sketchy. Being so close and haven't even facetimed yet?? umm NO. How come he doesn't want to see you in real time. I'd say he's a catfish. And never arrange meeting with someone you only know thru texts

And the reason I don’t believe he’s catfishing is because his pictures can be on the spot, for instant one was him pulling faces saying about to smash these pointing to a pack of chips or the other night he sends a picture of himself laying on the couch looking unmotivated 20 minutes before he had to start work, asking, do I look motivated to go to work? It was 10:40pm. I know you can get random pics like that but I also just know, you know. I’ve done my little tests. The catfish series was one of my favs and I’m suspicious by nature!

Be very careful.. he’ll talk you right into bed and then decide if he actually likes you at all.

They go for the quick kill and the thrill of the chase.

Posted by Caplove
Have you had a phone convo with him? If he can't even do that, it's a good way to weed him out fast.

Yes we’ve talked a few times. Last week I was walking home from the city after a night out and he’d just finished work. I rang him and he walked me home to keep me safe. Heaps of other drunks and randoms around my area, I live right in the city.

Posted by Electricboogaloo
I have a rule that really helps me..
I ask myself if our "special bond" could be happening while he is just on the toilet? If so maybe I don't invest so much emotionally and for sure not get too attached.

I also ask guys for a day and time to meet if I start to think I could like him. If he gives a paragraph of excuses, I say something polite like: "Well let me know when you can set up a day and time." and then I leave them to lead on someone else. None of them have come back ready to meet so I stop myself from being strung along by guys on the crapper lol.

This was my virgin pandemic online dating guy... now we are almost back to normal I’m back out there meeting shitty deadbeats in real time!

He still looks way more appealing but I don’t feel so strung up anymore. This thread and you guys have helped heaps. 😘

Posted by pisceanloves
Sounds sketchy. Being so close and haven't even facetimed yet?? umm NO. How come he doesn't want to see you in real time. I'd say he's a catfish. And never arrange meeting with someone you only know thru texts

My gut says no, but I will find out. And btw, I’m the one reluctant to FaceTiming, I don’t like pictures of myself or seeing my face in the camera even talking to my bff’s and children. I feel self conscious so I’ve never suggested it either and probably would have come up with an excuse if he asked.. but he hasn’t thankfully.

Posted by Hypnotoad

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by Moon_River

Posted by Hypnotoad

Posted by Moon_River

Posted by Hypnotoad

Posted by Moon_River

Posted by Hypnotoad
Jesus how tf do these dudes manage to string women along like this for so long, I can't even get a reply on Tinder. 🤷‍♂️

I don’t believe you or you are so good looking they just figure they don’t have a chance and move on.

🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

I was on Tinder for a day and a half and got like 150 matches but only talked to like 5 of em.

It was lame.

Girls do zero, take basic boring pictures and have no description and expect you to hold a convo.

But im just bitter.

Idk for me the conversations are just hard to have when you are just looking at a profile. Or people just want to hook up and ask for pics and I’m not down for giving 360 shots unless the future of my country depends on it.

It was real easy with us because we both were born in NZ but now live in Australia. So we easily connected coming from not only the same country but the same city and grew up similar plus like the same things ie: sports, sense of humour etc

Where'd you grow up?

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New Zealand, been living in Australia for 13 years and he has been here 12. That’s what I mean, we connect because our backgrounds are similar. I don’t know if you’ve ever lived overseas or traveled but when you do you gel with your people from back home very easily. It’s just an instant connection.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY U

Posted by Moon_River

Posted by Hypnotoad

Posted by Moon_River

Posted by Hypnotoad

Posted by Moon_River

Posted by Hypnotoad
Jesus how tf do these dudes manage to string women along like this for so long, I can't even get a reply on Tinder. 🤷‍♂️

I don’t believe you or you are so good looking they just figure they don’t have a chance and move on.

🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

I was on Tinder for a day and a half and got like 150 matches but only talked to like 5 of em.

It was lame.

Girls do zero, take basic boring pictures and have no description and expect you to hold a convo.

But im just bitter.

Idk for me the conversations are just hard to have when you are just looking at a profile. Or people just want to hook up and ask for pics and I’m not down for giving 360 shots unless the future of my country depends on it.

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It was real easy with us because we both were born in NZ but now live in Australia. So we easily connected coming from not only the same country but the same city and grew up similar plus like the same things ie: sports, sense of humour etc

Posted by GemCurioThe1

Posted by sweethearts
For months now I’ve been talking to this guy and feel like we could be a solid couple. We share so many things in common and can laugh and joke around easily. Problem is he runs hot and cold often, just when things are so easy and we are finding more and more to talk about and decide it’s time to meet, he goes ice cold and finds an excuse to not. This has happened 3 times now, he’s says he’s a confident person and he’s shared many pictures of himself and his kids.

I don’t get it, I feel like I’m on a roller coaster of emotions. I’m not sure what or why he’s holding back. I’ve done some stalking and he is single and doesn’t appear to have anyone in his life. A couple times when I’m on the truth juice (drunk) I’ve confidently said way too much about my intentions and/or referred to our connection as a lifetime partnership. It’s what I’d want from this. For instance, I’ve asked him do I scare him? He says he only dates confident woman. To that I said, you’re only dating one more. He lol’ed.
He seems fine and eagerly chats as normal for a couple days And reaches out to me first... and then goes cold, leaving me bewildered!

What should I do with that? I’m tired of being a pen-friend, I want to meet to see once and for all if there is a real connection and only a meeting will determine that, I have been so patient and waited for him to suggest we meet and then he does and gets excited about it, it excites me....but then I wait and wait for when/where and he doesn’t follow through with any plans. This last time, he was run down and not feeling well... 🙄

Well... As you can see he's hiding something which makes him hesitate. He probably posts pictures of himself when he was younger and more fit or has financial issues which makes meeting you burdensome. Listen to your intuition and pull back. Men are supposed to chase by nature. 👌 So he will notice that you have changed. Either way be confrontational and firm on your approach and desired outcome. Closed mouths don't get fed and the truth which causes his hesitation will come to the forefront. Another warning sign you may not have noticed is if he hasn't openly discussed his past relationships there's a reason. Without being judgemental anyone who fails to speak about their past isn't really ready to head towards the future. I hope this helps.

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Thanks for the advice. Yes, He’s said little about her but I’ve not asked. All I care about with a guys ex, is if they are on amicable terms. Not interested in baggage and fighting exes or negativity which can cause issues with new relationships. But that sort of convo doesn’t generally happen until after you’ve actually met and contemplating a relationship.

Some of the pictures aren’t flattering, 1 he sent saying he was not feeling well. I think that was sent to see if it made a difference because I do feel he is insecure about his looks.. I also wonder if maybe his ex cheated... just a gut feeling, nothing solid. I am quite intuitive or in tune with it.

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by Undine

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by Undine
Also, there is so much more important information to gain when face to face. Body language. Facial expressions. Tone of his voice. His aura. Energy field. The glimmer in his eyes. The temperature of his skin. His smell, so important for chemistry. All of these also telling you something about the impression you made on him.

Unfortunately, not even modern technology can replace that. In a video chat, when they appear to be looking at you, they look Ito the camera. When they really look at you, their eyes are looking down. Almost as worse as trying to have an intimate conversation on the phone!

If there are no COVID related restrictions, there are no excuses. Libra husband travelled 1500 miles to meet me. Cap travelled 300 miles. We only had to cancel once, because of the lockdown. As soon as it was lifted, we met IRL.

One of the best things about an LDR is that meeting IRL is different from local dating. Due to the distance, we met for at least one week at a time. Libra stayed with my parents. Cap stayed with me. You learn about the person a lot, for better or worse.

If I were in your shoes... cancelling meetings would be a huge red flag. I would put the online thing on ice till he keeps his promises.

I agree 100% ...

This is why I replied to myself. Now I just need to follow through.

A warning about possible side effects of a LDR.....each time they had to leave me after we met IRL, I experienced withdrawal symptoms for a few weeks. All that dopamine rush, and then there was none of it Psychosomatic pain is quite common. I experienced chest pain, like a heart attack. It could feel worse than a breakup, since there is an adrenaline rush after the breakup.

If it works well, it's worth the pain though

Now you’re going to nut off at me but this is what’s frustrating. He’s not LD, he’s time poor. He lives 40 minutes away but works 3 rotating shifts, mornings, afternoons and over night then has his kids Sunday to Sunday every 2nd week. So we could meet up on the 3rd week at nights when he works days if he doesn’t have the kids that week. Or he could make it happen somewhere if he really wanted to...

Your assessment is very correct. ATM this idealize fantasy of a relationship is enough for him but no longer for you. I suspect he doesn't feel he can make it work with what he has going on or because he doesn't believe you will be satisfied with what he can make happen. He is basing the latter off of the idealized fake relationship you guys have and the pieces he filled in from his imagination. It's either this or this is just his mo and these kind of relationships are enough to satisfy him personally. As far as you are concerned the reason is irrelevant as this situation isn't enough for you personally.

This happens often in LD pin pal like relationships. People literally become afraid of the messiness of the real thing. Of this fantasy being popped or of putting the effort to make it a reality. They are afraid of the real thing. The great and not so good of real relationships. I have a friend and the dude picks a fight or allows himself to take something the wrong way so he doesn't feel guilty for pushing her a way. A Gemini with a cancer moon😑
They make excuses and even gaslight themselves to hide this truth for themselves. They are afraid.
It. Also reminds me on why people crap on romantic relationships in Disney movies for giving a unrealistic expectations to young kids.
A more fitting example in this case would be, how some women sit at home, living though their romance books instead of going out and looking for the real thing. This is safer and just as convenient. Scene it sounds like he is actively avoiding real communication( phone or zoom) and physical interaction I would say this is the case.
I would not assume he is aware of why he is doing what he is doing nor that he is consciously using you. It is just you guys clicked that way natural(receptive). I bet his game has made you melt more then once and you enjoyed it too lol

These virtual relationships are addicting to some people. It's on demand and you can pore a lot of energy into each other in bursts. If you restrict contact and from things getting too personal, you keep the relationship from evolving for whatever reason...t's seriously like cloud9 on demand. It's understandable how people can be hooked on this.
Others get stuck at this stage because they get what they needed out of it and afraid of jeopardizing what they currently have going on. Another demographic insecurity and self-esteem issues. I know people in my personal life who have fallen into these traps.

Your assessment oh the situation is correct regardless of the reason. I just love psychology and totally over sharing. He could make room for you in his life. Yet not only has he failed to try, but he is actively avoid real contact with you. Actions speak louder then words.

If your up for it, before you fade away, give him the benefit of a doubt and don't take it personally. Do him a favor and tell him you feelings and thoughts on the relationship as you metaphorically walk away. Assume he is unaware or just speak objectively, tell him your observations in a light hearted manner.
Literally work in " it's too bad this relationship isn't real. I enjoy talking to you. It's been fun."
He is perfectly capable of making it happen in a way you can be ok with. "In the future you are going to have serious trouble holding on to somebody until your willing to make room for them." 🙃

Basically Tell him off and walk away in style

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OMG!!! That’s exactly the way things have panned out. I couldn’t put my finger on it, it’s was driving me crazy because I know he’s actually a really awesome guy and that’s why walking away has taken me this long, and I still haven’t done it! I keep thinking I’ll regret it. Trust me, being single for 15 years and living in the Gold Coast I meet on a regular basis total losers, guys that have zero personality.

I’m going to read back through this after work. My friends just keep saying he’s a loser... get rid of him so I now haven’t told them we have still been in contact the last 3 weeks.

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by pinkbird03
I think you are putting pressure on him. Saying your the last girl he will date and saying you have a lifetime connection with him. Way too much! Especially for never meeting. Makes u sound crazy. You don’t actually know him right now. It takes several months of dating to know someone.

Yes... drunk people say crazy things... and yea very hard to retract that but I’m not giving up drinking for any man 😂

Don’t drink text/dial him. I think this is his problem. You’re in 100% and he’s still deciding. The more u push him, the more he pulls away. Men don’t fall in love as easily as woman do. Be patient and allow him to grow interest naturally.

He messages me most of the time when he knows I’m out. We both love football and lately there’s been a lot of playoffs with different codes. We were supposed to watch a game together on Saturday but that was the one he canceled on.

He says he likes it when I’m drinking because he calls it the truth juice, however, I do wonder myself if even though he says that.. it plays a part when he goes cold, inside his own head! I always read back texts the next day and I joke that’s my twin Eleanor.

But yeah thanks, I know men take their time and we are more emotional. It helps when I don’t contact him for a bit... brings me back down to earth.

Hmm try to meet him. That’s the only way to know if it’s going to move past a pen pal. Just be cautious. His actions resemble a noncommittal man.

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Yes having been trapped once before... I’m sure he’s scared!

Posted by Undine

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by Undine
Also, there is so much more important information to gain when face to face. Body language. Facial expressions. Tone of his voice. His aura. Energy field. The glimmer in his eyes. The temperature of his skin. His smell, so important for chemistry. All of these also telling you something about the impression you made on him.

Unfortunately, not even modern technology can replace that. In a video chat, when they appear to be looking at you, they look Ito the camera. When they really look at you, their eyes are looking down. Almost as worse as trying to have an intimate conversation on the phone!

If there are no COVID related restrictions, there are no excuses. Libra husband travelled 1500 miles to meet me. Cap travelled 300 miles. We only had to cancel once, because of the lockdown. As soon as it was lifted, we met IRL.

One of the best things about an LDR is that meeting IRL is different from local dating. Due to the distance, we met for at least one week at a time. Libra stayed with my parents. Cap stayed with me. You learn about the person a lot, for better or worse.

If I were in your shoes... cancelling meetings would be a huge red flag. I would put the online thing on ice till he keeps his promises.

I agree 100% ...

This is why I replied to myself. Now I just need to follow through.

A warning about possible side effects of a LDR.....each time they had to leave me after we met IRL, I experienced withdrawal symptoms for a few weeks. All that dopamine rush, and then there was none of it Psychosomatic pain is quite common. I experienced chest pain, like a heart attack. It could feel worse than a breakup, since there is an adrenaline rush after the breakup.

If it works well, it's worth the pain though

click to expand

Now you’re going to nut off at me but this is what’s frustrating. He’s not LD, he’s time poor. He lives 40 minutes away but works 3 rotating shifts, mornings, afternoons and over night then has his kids Sunday to Sunday every 2nd week. So we could meet up on the 3rd week at nights when he works days if he doesn’t have the kids that week. Or he could make it happen somewhere if he really wanted to...

Posted by Undine
Also, there is so much more important information to gain when face to face. Body language. Facial expressions. Tone of his voice. His aura. Energy field. The glimmer in his eyes. The temperature of his skin. His smell, so important for chemistry. All of these also telling you something about the impression you made on him.

Unfortunately, not even modern technology can replace that. In a video chat, when they appear to be looking at you, they look Ito the camera. When they really look at you, their eyes are looking down. Almost as worse as trying to have an intimate conversation on the phone!

If there are no COVID related restrictions, there are no excuses. Libra husband travelled 1500 miles to meet me. Cap travelled 300 miles. We only had to cancel once, because of the lockdown. As soon as it was lifted, we met IRL.

One of the best things about an LDR is that meeting IRL is different from local dating. Due to the distance, we met for at least one week at a time. Libra stayed with my parents. Cap stayed with me. You learn about the person a lot, for better or worse.

If I were in your shoes... cancelling meetings would be a huge red flag. I would put the online thing on ice till he keeps his promises.

I agree 100% ...

This is why I replied to myself. Now I just need to follow through.

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by pinkbird03
I think you are putting pressure on him. Saying your the last girl he will date and saying you have a lifetime connection with him. Way too much! Especially for never meeting. Makes u sound crazy. You don’t actually know him right now. It takes several months of dating to know someone.

Yes... drunk people say crazy things... and yea very hard to retract that but I’m not giving up drinking for any man 😂

Don’t drink text/dial him. I think this is his problem. You’re in 100% and he’s still deciding. The more u push him, the more he pulls away. Men don’t fall in love as easily as woman do. Be patient and allow him to grow interest naturally.

click to expand

He messages me most of the time when he knows I’m out. We both love football and lately there’s been a lot of playoffs with different codes. We were supposed to watch a game together on Saturday but that was the one he canceled on.

He says he likes it when I’m drinking because he calls it the truth juice, however, I do wonder myself if even though he says that.. it plays a part when he goes cold, inside his own head! I always read back texts the next day and I joke that’s my twin Eleanor.

But yeah thanks, I know men take their time and we are more emotional. It helps when I don’t contact him for a bit... brings me back down to earth.

Posted by chris19

Posted by Aerazo

Posted by chris19

Posted by virgoOPPP
what a pisces man needs is a gemini woman

Gemini Women can pin you down and start being submissive to them.

Are pisces men submissive in nature?

yes.

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In what way??

Posted by Arinoaqua

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by Arinoaqua

Posted by aquarius_man_

Posted by Arinoaqua
I did it to the Aqua until he put his foot down and said “I don’t need any friends.” And gave me an ultimatum.

And how did you react? (I can only applaud people who stand their ground and give if not ultimatums at least an idea of what boundaries shall not be crossed)

I don’t remember my reaction but we went on a date shortly after and were together 6 years.

The thing is, I wasn’t leading him on. I wasn’t dating anyone else. I was just enjoying what we had. It felt good and I wanted to bask in it. In so many ways he didn’t live up to the fantasy that he himself helped create for me. He made a lot of promises and talked a big talk.

So...he did teach me not to get so invested in a person you’re just talking to. By the time we met I already had strong feelings for him...so when reality started smacking me in the face (He lied by omission about some pretty important things), I ignored it and tried really hard to get back to that fantasy that was never really real. ☹️

And that’s exactly why I’m getting frustrated that we haven’t met yet.

I know. If you would have told me prior to him I’d develop feelings online I would have laughed. That’s why I encourage you to put your foot down. It’s hard but it will save you even more heartache in the long run.

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Typical libra, I’m flipping back and forth now. I told him, I’d wait for when he’s ready..

Now I’ve decided to keep my eyes open to meeting someone else... if he comes back, then he’ll need to make the moves to meeting me.

Posted by Arinoaqua

Posted by aquarius_man_

Posted by Arinoaqua
I did it to the Aqua until he put his foot down and said “I don’t need any friends.” And gave me an ultimatum.

And how did you react? (I can only applaud people who stand their ground and give if not ultimatums at least an idea of what boundaries shall not be crossed)

I don’t remember my reaction but we went on a date shortly after and were together 6 years.

The thing is, I wasn’t leading him on. I wasn’t dating anyone else. I was just enjoying what we had. It felt good and I wanted to bask in it. In so many ways he didn’t live up to the fantasy that he himself helped create for me. He made a lot of promises and talked a big talk.

So...he did teach me not to get so invested in a person you’re just talking to. By the time we met I already had strong feelings for him...so when reality started smacking me in the face (He lied by omission about some pretty important things), I ignored it and tried really hard to get back to that fantasy that was never really real. ☹️

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And that’s exactly why I’m getting frustrated that we haven’t met yet.

Posted by Undine

Posted by Rish27

Posted by Undine
Something a Pisces will never understand: how could anyone have feelings for someone they've never met iRL...or even seen alive...???

WHAT SORT OF DELUSION IS THAT?????

Erm you are absolutely wrong here. Every Pisces I've ever known (including me) has or was at some point of time in a long distance relationship where more texts + calls and less meetings were involved.

We are lazy people. Tell us to come to a dinner date at freezing cold in the evening and we'll make a fuss...come to our home or facetime us while we cook, eat, clean the dishes, sleep, etc. and we would be absolutely happy.

Pisces needs reassurances to be happy in a relationship no matter in person or via texts.

I think you misunderstood. I wasn’t referring to a LDR. I’ve been twice in one, including with my ex husband. I was referring to the idea of catching feelings for a stranger you NEVER met IRL, never had a video chat with.

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It’s actually doable, when all you do is text and talk, you find out so much more about the other person. You become involved in their day to day lives and their ups and downs. Feelings can be caught... whether they are real is debatable but just because you’ve never experienced it doesn’t mean it’s not so.

No not in those words, but I have said I think we’d be great together and that I’m looking for “the one” when he asked. He just sends smiley faces with a x

He’s said this more than once.. I’m looking for one woman that’s all I’ve ever wanted.

Posted by jammyjam
Have you asked him if he also "feels you could be a solid couple"?

No, and no he wouldn’t say that as one of the other posters said. Maybe after meeting, something like that could be said. I was drunk and had verbal diarrhoea. I tend to get real cocky when I’m drinking as many do. His emotions are almost always in check. He’s very gentlemanly and encourages contact, talks and says sweet things. That’s why it’s so hard. On paper, great... no action for a leeb/Leo bad.