SassyKiwi

I'm air/fire dom and have a much older brother-in-law who can be inappropriate on a similar level as your wife’s brother-in-law. Except unlike your wife I show my disdain for him quietly and subtlety because I know his intentions are bad so confronting him will only cause him to take it to farther lengths to create more drama. My brother-in-law doesn’t do it in front of my husband so he has no treetrunking clue, even if he did he’d be too kitty to stand up to him (it’s his older sister’s husband). You’re not like my husband, you’re aware, but don’t be a kitty so treetrunking confront him and tell him he might not respect his wife and marriage but for him to respect yours. It’s your responsibility to step in as her husband.

Posted by Skeleton

Posted by SassyKiwi
Let me tell you what my gripe is with people who are 40+ and single! They have the benefit of having all the time in the world! I envy that. I truly believe you can reach whatever goal you have if you dedicate yourself enough. So if they're 40+ and single and still haven't reached their life goal of becoming whatever it is that they've always wanted, SHAME ON THEM.

Why shame on them when their life have been slowly processing it?

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I wasn't being serious. I personally feel I don't have enough time in a day so I am envious of those who do but don't understand those who don't take advantage of it. I want to achieve so many goals in terms of career, further academic success and traveling the world however my desire to be in a marriage and have loads of babies is also strong so I'm caught in the middle x_x I don't know what exactly to do and am taking things as life is throwing at me atm. So I sometimes wonder if my life would be much more different if I didn't have that innate time consuming desire of needing a life partner and lots of babies (result of growing up in a small family), I'd definitely have a lot more time to myself.

Let me tell you what my gripe is with people who are 40+ and single! They have the benefit of having all the time in the world! I envy that. I truly believe you can reach whatever goal you have if you dedicate yourself enough. So if they're 40+ and single and still haven't reached their life goal of becoming whatever it is that they've always wanted, SHAME ON THEM.

Corn pops, haven't had those in forever

We all know you ain't that cap cause you be only hardworking on dxp

Posted by sagaciouscorp
Mmm might be fact she no longer has much in common
Today have no interest in attending baby showers, kids parties etc. I’m single my life differs that from a married woman. So no it’s not fun for me to attend these events.
You want her to participate in your life but can you Participate in her interest
No, you are not single any more

I totally get that but it's not like it's her first time dealing with a married woman. Her older sister (by 1 year), got married 6 years ago but then got divorced 2 years ago. We still used to have our girl get togethers and all. She also has more female married friends than non-married. Literally I just got married last year and she's made zero effort in keeping our friendship to even determine if we're still compatible or not. She only tries if only my husband will also come. When it comes to males, she loves surrounding herself with guys who will give her attention. I've actually seen her talk about snatching someone's bf at one point in order to show how she can easily allure men. It's all a game to her. She's been heartbroken too many times by the wrong guys and now does stupid butter to get validation from men. That's why I don't need her to get too buddy buddy with my husband. I guess everything happens for a reason.

Before I got married she swore she wasn't gonna get married anytime soon. Once she heard I was going to get married she was telling me how she's also itching to get married since everyone around her is and I was like wtf to who, your cheating ex? Because she still drags him around as if they're a couple. He's so toxic for her but she doesn't care.

The most Pisces thing I have is Saturn in Pisces in the 4th house. Idk why but when I was younger I used to daydream a lot about one day being married to someone charming and eloquent who had a mansion near a cliff in Europe.


I still really want a home near a cliff.

Posted by xXxAliiciaXxX
From my experience and observation it's usually due to:

- Their tendency to over think things.

- Their tendency to view other women as competition.

- Their inability to be direct when something is bothering them so they hold it inside and it eventually turns into resentment that trickles out in passive aggressive ways.

- Their inability to let things go (grudge holding).

I do have female friends, but one thing they all have in common is they're goofy, down-to-earth, and tomboyish, similar to myself.

They're not the typical women you run into.

If the bullets you listed are what consists of a typical woman than I'm far from it too. Is it that difficult for some women to just be simply happy for someone else, especially if that someone is someone they've seen grow along with them from an young age? This is what I mean by women making things so damn complicated for themselves. Everything is so simple if you let it be. Overthinking things, seeing things as competition, and holding onto past things sounds soo exhausting!

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by SassyKiwi

Posted by LadyNeptune
Not all females are difficult to be friends with. Don’t look at it from that viewpoint.
Im sorry you and your friend are growing apart. But it’s not that uncommon. Especially as you were hs buds and essentially children when you met. People change over the years and grow apart. It’s life. Growing pains and what not.
It may be time to distance yourself and down grade the friendship. Give your time and effort to others.

It's so hard to make new female friends in adulthood especially if you work in a private small business setting vs corporate. I'm trying to befriend other married couples through my husband's friends since they're older and married vs my younger unmarried friends but even then some of them seem like they'd prefer to be alone than be friends with other women? Like it'd be me carrying majority of the conversations and I know there's nothing wrong with what I say because their husbands are more responsive to them and engaged in them than the wives. It's like these women want to keep other women distant so they don't also come near their husbands or something? My goal is to befriend YOU but if your husband is being more engaged in the conversation then why not step up and be more responsive too? Women are so treetrunking infuriating.

It has to be an organic thing, you can’t force it.
But I think just cause you had a meh moment, don’t give up. Couple friends are awesome!

And throw the age thing out the window. Our fav couple is in their late 50s and we have the best time with them.

It’s refreshing to a spend time with them cause they have built a wonderful life together and seem to genuinely still enjoy each other. Total #goals. I’m taking notes.

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Yeah I'm now totally on board with befriending much older couples even though I'm not even 25 yet. I just can't deal with all the drama and insecurities younger couples exude. What kind of things have you taken notes of so far? I love hearing success stories of couples.

Posted by Antiphates
She has a sapphic crush on you and is not sure if she could maintain self-control if you two would ever happen to be alone in one room.

As for the general thing: no idea. I guess it often a competition and hierarchy thing but that's so boring and predictable that I think there are other factors involved.

That’s funny you say that because in high school she’d joke that some people thought we were lesbians xD Come to think of it... I can imagine her going down the experimental lesbian path... well dang...

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by MyStarsShine
Men are harder to be "friends" with as there can be an agenda with them

Women friends are precious, i love the ones in my llfe and they don't keep looking at my tits

Lol

I really think it depends on culture, like my mother and her friends, she's got hundreds, no thousands....its a whole community...you never hear about cheating or anything - most everyone gets along - they'll shun your a $ $ if you misbehave

America is the wild west...anything goes

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I also think it has to do with age. Pretty sure mystarshine's and your mom's friends are well past their 20s. I guess I need to start befriending women in their late 30s+. That age group was actually the easiest to make friends with for me in college. Younger women are just so treetrunking insecure or after your taken man apparently

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by SassyKiwi

Posted by LadyNeptune
Not all females are difficult to be friends with. Don’t look at it from that viewpoint.
Im sorry you and your friend are growing apart. But it’s not that uncommon. Especially as you were hs buds and essentially children when you met. People change over the years and grow apart. It’s life. Growing pains and what not.
It may be time to distance yourself and down grade the friendship. Give your time and effort to others.

It's so hard to make new female friends in adulthood especially if you work in a private small business setting vs corporate. I'm trying to befriend other married couples through my husband's friends since they're older and married vs my younger unmarried friends but even then some of them seem like they'd prefer to be alone than be friends with other women? Like it'd be me carrying majority of the conversations and I know there's nothing wrong with what I say because their husbands are more responsive to them and engaged in them than the wives. It's like these women want to keep other women distant so they don't also come near their husbands or something? My goal is to befriend YOU but if your husband is being more engaged in the conversation then why not step up and be more responsive too? Women are so treetrunking infuriating.

Wow sounds terrible, but I can how this plays out a lot. It's insecurity and fear.

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Yes and I think it's also because most of them have been married for only 2-3 years on average so I think they're still trying to build security in their own marriage and therefore want to keep other women at a distance until they find their own footing first. But it's still sad how women keep these walls up from people who genuinely want to be their friend. I can sense the isolation they've build around themselves and the loneliness they sometimes feel from it (if you're treetrunking sitting alone in a sofa while all the other wives are engaging in a group clearly something is wrong with YOU) yet it's like they don't want to make any effort at the same time..

Posted by LadyNeptune
Not all females are difficult to be friends with. Don’t look at it from that viewpoint.
Im sorry you and your friend are growing apart. But it’s not that uncommon. Especially as you were hs buds and essentially children when you met. People change over the years and grow apart. It’s life. Growing pains and what not.
It may be time to distance yourself and down grade the friendship. Give your time and effort to others.

It's so hard to make new female friends in adulthood especially if you work in a private small business setting vs corporate. I'm trying to befriend other married couples through my husband's friends since they're older and married vs my younger unmarried friends but even then some of them seem like they'd prefer to be alone than be friends with other women? Like it'd be me carrying majority of the conversations and I know there's nothing wrong with what I say because their husbands are more responsive to them and engaged in them than the wives. It's like these women want to keep other women distant so they don't also come near their husbands or something? My goal is to befriend YOU but if your husband is being more engaged in the conversation then why not step up and be more responsive too? Women are so treetrunking infuriating.

Posted by Black-Mamba
Is she into your husband or trying to destroy your happiness with your man?

she sounds untrustworthy

My mom's like the only female best friend I have now and she relates this girl to an old friend of hers who's tried ruining my parents marriage by going after my dad and getting him alone. But why would females throw away old friendships over their friend's husband of all people?

Posted by Black-Mamba
aren't you the one who is cool having a racist mom, maybe that's why. You seem really nonchalant and noncaring about others

i notice you're extremely self-entitled and self-absorbed and not even ENGAGING ...i never see you carry conversations on here at all

you're whole presence screams = SeLFISH

What racist mom? I've barely spoken about my mom here? My mom's the sweetest person ever.

My doms are Cap, Aqua, Leo and Sag. So yes I'm very nonchalant but when I do try to carry conversations the other person is usually nonresponsive or ends it so I don't bother after that.

Nearly everyone on dxp is self-absorbed, have you seen your own threads?

I've always been introverted so I've always kept around only a few close friends at a time. One of them used to be my best friend since middle school. I've seen her go through all her phases, the ugly, religious, popular, fancy, slutty, etc you name it and have never judged her whilst every other person she's forced herself to befriend has. Through college and after we did drift apart but would catch up like no time passed. I noticed she'd surround herself with so many different groups of friends yet at times like cheering for her at her uni graduation (she changed majors a lot and graduated later than me) vs her inviting her fake friends over to restaurants that she'd entirely pay for, no one showed up to support her except me.

During my wedding last year she was one of my bridesmaids (I had only four so I didn't want a maid of honor but she self declared herself to me mine), it was great, we saw each other more often because of it. It was after my wedding that things suddenly went 180. She became way more distant than before at any point of our 10+ year friendship. I paid for all my bridesmaids' dresses, alterations, jewelry, etc so I know it was nothing related to that. They didn't have to spend a penny. She would invite me and my husband to events but would get upset if I said we couldn't make it to some of them, she would even try to change the time/dates for us. But when I tried to set up hang outs with just us girls like old times, she'd go unresponsive on me as if she's not interested in seeing me alone anymore, as if she'll only bother meeting me if my husband also comes? Like wtf. Her parents and sisters adore me and I adore them too so when I asked how they were, I'd think she'd at least get back to me on that but nope, complete ignore. Idk what else she wants from me but it makes me sad.

This is just one lengthy example, I have others. I don't get why women do this?

I miss having female friends but no one wants to be my friend 😞

Between these two:

I got Libra EW

Posted by _EU_V2_
I'm seriously considering becoming a UFO researcher. I'm weird like that.

What's stopping you? Just keep me updated on the trash they are forced to sell for $ $

Posted by LittleStar

Posted by SassyKiwi

Posted by LittleStar

Posted by SassyKiwi

Posted by LittleStar
My 5 year plan is to get divorced, get out of the hell of this funk, get a Masters degree in teaching English, pack up the Virgo and move back to Korea, teach at a University as a treetrunk you to the universe and the people that tell me I can’t have it all.

I want to write a daily blog? on the conversations I’m eavesdropping in on around me in cafes.

What's wrong with your husband?

Nothing dramatic.

Just don’t want to be married anymore. I dislike the codependency and I don’t think it’s fair to stay married when I know I don’t want to be.

I’ve basically come to the conclusion that I got married to make life easier as well as the feels but even though life is easier he essentially told me that I can’t do both in life. Basically telling me I shouldn’t and or couldn’t pursue my dreams and be married and that I should try to be happy with my lot in life.

So I chose what my gut told me.

He’s accepted it but he’s sad.

I don’t really feel much as the moment I’m pretty numb to everything.

Sag Moon wins again. 👍🏻

How long have you two been married for? It's really unfortunate when you end up getting a life partner who'd rather hold you back & lose you vs. letting you grow and still keep you. Like damn me trying to grow as a person would kill you that much?

5 years. The problem I think - is that he is much older and he’s pretty much become the person he wants to and he’s a homebody family man and while his personality is great and we do get along and there is trust - I think I’ve outgrown him.

He wants to invest in roots and stability and a nice house but I don’t really find that is what I want to work for.

I also just had my parents get divorce after 30 years of marriage and I don’t want to look back later and feel like I settled. And he doesn’t deserve to be that.

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How much older is he and how did you two meet? I recently had my 1 year marriage anniversary and cohabitating with a spouse this day and age has become something fascinating to me. It disheartens me when marriages don't last very long... like it's become such a norm everywhere... It feels like people look at a married couple and go, "it's only a matter of time."