Yes it is confusing especially considering a lot of woman, me included, like the guy to show us they are interested.
We had a nice date, just went to the local very popular fish shop/market, picked our seafood and had it cooked for us. Sat outside in the sun, very casual and comfortable and we just talked and got to know each other a little more.
So these next few days will be agonising if he goes into his quiet zone, but I’ll busy myself and brave it out!
So, I bit the bullet and dropped a text asking him if he had plans for tonight. He rang about half an hour later (he’s a ringer not a texter) I was in the changing room at a shop 😂 but wasn’t going to miss the call. (Talking fir about 15 mins) 🤣🤣He said he’s been in bed watching a tv series for 2 days straight bored with Christmas and even though he has plans for tonight said he wanted to catch up with me and we should go get some seafood locally this afternoon.
Might still need you guys... got to learn to relax an learn his pace is different from mine
He's already had the invite from the other friend, not sure they are going to that one though it was a multiple choice, plus, I am going with a different group of friends that he doesn't know and feel that it would be awkward to invite him to that on a 3rd date, don't you think?
However if we happen to bump into each other that's would be different. The thought of just bumping into him at the same party appeals but I think I need to know one way or another...it's agonizing for me this uncertainty.
There's that fine line between what is uncomfortable for me and for him on who is initiating...I'm kinda feeling now after reading here that he is being passive and like myself there's no need to be rude and hurt someone. I'm going to give it one more shot today and if he doesn't take me up on it then I will drop it as "No interest" We last texted Christmas day. His only excuse for no contact is work resuming and being busy.
@ Mugen, would prefer to be told directly too!
@ YeplmaPisces can you see that I'm interested in this guy and wanting him to contact me more, so much so that I am willing to make the moves and similarly I can see that you want action from your Libra. I think we both need to give it a final shot and the outcome/response will highlight the end result.
Wow you sound like the opposite to me and my Pisces guy, he's the one holding back .
imo normally I'd be all over a return text unless something really put me off you. (Didn't seem like it from your explanation) I'm always polite to return messages and would just make up an excuse if I wasn't interested... I'd say throw her another text soon and see what comes back
I was thinking of asking him out tomorrow and just now the friend that introduced us, group texted the NYE plans...(she doesn't know we went out a couple times) he may possibly show up to where me and my friends are going.
Not sure what I should do? Ask him out tomorrow or wait and see if they all show up on NYE?
@Halycon more initiate by texting first and sparking up a conversation. First time we met, I went over and introduced myself and gave him my number and told him to call me. Not something I would usually do but it worked...then I thought he would take the lead and he did on two occasions only. If I do text he puts out the big smile and is responses quickly never leaving any doubt that he likes me.
I can't text too much, almost has to be one for one or if I loose their interest then I'll let the convo go too.
@hydorah....I feel that sometimes as I sit and ponder if he is going to call or text, the scales sits there and weighs everything up but I haven't got a definite "not interested"nor a "def interested"
@Aquanextdoor That was my next thought, do I have to be more direct as in the first time and ask/tell him what I want because the general, how's your day convo doesn't really amount to much.
@Jayc3on Brilliant and direct TY!!
I've always waited for the man to make the moves with a little encouragement and generally they do. But this guy has me perplexed, and I think he's worth me stepping out of my comfort zone because I'd like to get to know him a little more, just needed tips on the best way to go forward.
Some of us, particularly us women want to feel wanted and like you are actually thinking about us. Your regrouping makes us feel like you just don’t care either way. It really is a hard one to get your head around but tbh it’s not a deal breaker, just an adjustment.
@ Jayc3on - Does it ever change though? When you’re in love do you contact your partners more often?
Your psych showed and that has unmasked ones true self which we all keep hidden during the first stages of dating. Easily done too when it’s distance. I’m sure if he thought his ex was psycho you may have hit a nerve if he’s been down that road before.
In my experience it is, they are slow to act when they have a lot on their plate. The Pisces I went out with was very responsive if I texted or called first however I couldn’t get my head around being the one to initiate all the time. In saying that, is that just more my problem with the way I think things should be?
Can't say that I'm looking for a relationship either but I do think relationships aren't planned they just happen which I guess is why I'm hesitant.
There are guys out there that hit on everyone, he doesn't appear to be that type.
Something interesting I've learned recently is that most guys won't actually make the first move until they are almost 100% sure they aren't going to get knocked back or they are full of themselves And screw anything.
He had the decency to break it off with you before going out with the new girl but he cowardly made out there may be hope for the two of you in the future... this to soften the blow for you. Not a bad guy, but not the one for you. It's the truth, swallow it and move on.
She spoke a lot of truth and the truth hurts some more than others... very obviously. You're here to learn, you tell your stories and want/expect everyone to rap you up in cotton wool and agree with you. Not in the real world!