Unfortunately I'm out of the fling game... I'm just going to focus on work and starting my business. I'm not trying to accidentally get stuck here as I'm planning to move at some point in next year... I've gotten a lot done without chasing women so I'll just keep it up even if it is lonely.
I have to get rid of all her stuff(I was trying to avoid it) so I definitely couldn't have someone come over here to hang out. You would swear she still lived here.
She knows I took a big pay cut and a lower job to get back here. She changed her mind in March about moving to be together so I knew she was changing how she felt(she graduated in May) so I was like hey I'm coming back. And she was like we could definitely date if you were here. I get here about 5 months later she with a guy. She should have said hey I'm with someone. Never would have came back. I think part of her wanted me back here.
That's why I am(was) so frustrated. I lost almost 50k to be with you and emotionally supported you when you were down and wait... it's this guy? Heck no wtf. So yea I tried to get her back darn tootin.
5 months in and he's gone for last 3 and he wasn't there for your surgery. That's still honeymoon stage "love". But that's not my problem anymore
But now him being back changes the ball game. I'm out.
We talked about marriage and kids were up in the air. She tried to get me to have a baby to keep me here and I told her finish school and then we would talk... she wanted to finish school because her credits wouldn't transfer and enjoyed her job because she travelled internationally.
I had to relocate or lose a 6 figure job due to merger and I still payed for the place we had when I left so she wouldn't be stressed with bills. It was just life in the way when we both just tried to make it work long distance. We had a great run. We flew back and forth and the tears from being lonely and the fighting just became too much.
So I told her I would back off and let her focus on her stuff. She moved out and got her own place. She was broken up about it until like November. She calmed down and we chatted and had a good friendship. The issue was the distance it's not the issue anymore. Now she's in a "relationship"
Chuck. That is the situation as of about 2 pm today. I was there when I started the post. I just wanted to get some other opinions.
I was the odd man out when I got back. Even if I made an impact... he is with her tonight and I'm not. That's enough for me. I didn't mind trying when he wasn't here. I'm not playing myself now that he's back.
You are right. Everybody's told me that. I've been gone 18 months... we split a year ago but we talked everyday and she latched on to me hard in June/July before I got back due to surgery: I got seriously reattached to her. She was scared and I was there for her.
Either way. It's too messy with everything going on. I'm back, she knows I'm back,I'm not 3k miles away. She can take that as she wishes: I probably made her situation worse because of it. Wasn't my intent. It was me letting her know I came back for you and no time or distance change how I felt.
I would have wanted her to at some point in two hours to say something about him or going to pick him up Monday. When she invited me to meet Thursday. It wouldn't have been upset me. It would have opened a dialogue of wtf is going on with us.
I thought it was ironic we broke up due to long distance and she got with someone else in another ldr. And I told her as much a month ago.
It's just the situation... i didn't know she was taken in July and when she said who it was it was an "oh please" response, but I told her how I felt and she gave me my house keys back.
I started shutting the door back in July after asking up here for opinions and she put her foot in it... we started a little communication and it looked like she was warming up. now I will close it for good. Not that she did anything wrong just because I'm not playing a buddy.
Exactly... I don't even know why she dated him in the first place. She and I always said unless we got rich we weren't going to have them... she still feels the same way but she's with a guy that has them. He might treat her well and she's a very pretty woman and Scorpio ... he probably is controlled by her.
She could never control me and she actually likes I don't fawn all over here while acknowledging her other attributes besides her being pretty.
She even acknowledged that she's getting older and starting to get wrinkles and I look better than I did when we first got together 5 years ago. She thought I was going to flip on her when I found out about the guy... she was shocked that I didn't. We weren't together i don't like it, but I can't get mad I told her let's just move on from today. Old me definitely would have blown up but 18 months is a long time to expect loyalty... she even asked why would you still want me if I've been with someone else. She had tears in her eyes. I told her she wouldn't have done it if I was here and she shook her head.
She confided in me all the time when I was with her. She had uterine surgery in July. A week before I got back. I was around to support her while he wasnt. She was calling me every day in June/July leading up to it including the morning of it.
She calls to ask my advice and she's the most stubborn independent thinking woman I've ever met. She listens to nobody. Lol
That's why I think she's confused. Either way not talking to her is how it gets fixed.
Yep. I told her I'll never be a platonic friend for her. She was the woman I wanted to marry which is why I came back and now I'm not falling back to being her buddy. She said she understood. She said she couldn't give me her whole life and go back to the relationship we used to have and I said I understood.
She and I screwed it up because we never stopped talking after I left. We were together for 2.5 years physically...6 months ldr... 1 year friends not seeing each other just small messages everyday but some were flirtatious ... now I'm back and it's a "now what?" type situation. We never really came to terms with not being in each other's life. She thought she was fine us being friendly, but she was smart enough to know if she told me she was seeing someone I wouldn't have kept talking. I wouldn't have come back here at all.
You are right. That's why I don't want revenge or mad at her. I made an assumption based on her reaching out the way she was that she was trying to feel her way through it and maybe she still is. So that's why after she picked up like she did I'm going no contact. I don't need to think about them being intimate.
She went from I love him in July to I think I love him in August then in september on Thursday she's confused. She said she knows we were good together and have a lot in common.
She started texting me regularly. I figured it was bc she was lonely and that's why she began communicating with me. But also when she said she didn't realize she still cares and missed me when she saw me the week I got back that maybe I just need to be cordial and let her figure it out.
We didn't see each other again for 45 days. And she's the one that wanted to see me Thursday. She knew he was coming back Monday(today).
I had to leave for job. She was in school and working didn't want to start over. Ldr was too much we split after 6 months. We talked everyday still and texted but kept it casual friendly. She never said she was seeing anybody but we weren't a couple anymore
I get back a year later she was with the guy for 4 months. He left a month before I got back and she and I been talking on phone/texting last two months. She wanted to see me Thursday and we had a good time.
I thought about the security issue to. My friend said other than sex and feelings she probably doesn't want to drop him for you.
Anyway Now as of today he's back.
I said it wasn't fair to her. To ask to drop him And probably confusing. She's looking to move anyway and I'm looking to move anyway... he's 12 years older with 3 kids. She's 30 he's 43. I doubt he is going to move .. I feel he was just a rebound for her
I just had same issue man. Don't waste time. I was with mine for 2.5 years... we broke up and stayed in touch. She had moved on and that guy was gone. She and I got close again: and now I'm out the picture again.
My scorp broke up due to ldr not problems between us so it was natural to still be into each other and she still with new guy
Point being once a decision is made just stick with it. No matter who goes after who.
I got pictures, videos and flirty texts the last two months. Today he's back and I found out by accident and I guarantee you it will stop
My ex Scorpio who's been keeping in contact since I got home about 2 month from being gone 18 months and I went out Thursday. We had a great time. Then We talked all weekend. Never once mentioned her boyfriend.
I decided to call today to be the one to reach out... and she was on her way back from picking up the guy she told me was her boyfriend from another state airport. He just got back from 3 months overseas
She didn't say my name when I picked up just said hello... and when I asked her what she was doing she said she was picking Adam up from the airport and driving back home. Very plainly. I said sorry for disturbing you, she said you aren't disturbing me and I just said goodbye.
Why stalk me to keep me around and show you have feelings up until the day before going to get him. She's cut off now. That's bull butter .
A girl friend of mine was like she probably didn't realize she would want to be with you anymore since you were gone and already promised to pick him up.