I have a beautiful friend going back to the man that beat her face in when she up and left him 3 weeks ago because she said she won't have him think he can do this! He has made no apologies for his actions or any talk of trying to get help, in fact he has told her to stay away.
This isn't about her story, I don't want feed back on that.
What I can't figure out is, what makes us so weak that we can't live without guys that treat us badly, cheat on us, beat us, guys that selfishly don't show any respect to you or your children? All around these boards are woman trying desperately to get back guys like this or understand why they are acting this way and trying to bend themselves like pretzels to accommodate.
Is it our upbringing? The fairy tales we are bought up with? Our religions? What makes us this way? Because I very rarely see a man here trying to twist himself to become somebody he isn't to cater for a woman.
If your so called relationship is only on paper/computer and you've never met....it's not a "real" relationship. Don't people get that? You can't have real relations through a computer. You might experience the feelings and the bond but you'll never really consummate it or know the person really as they can be saying everything and doing the complete opposite. Watch the catfish series and see how many of these "real" relationships are what they pretend to be!!
What makes you hide behind a computer screen when looking for love?
I welcome when I reach that point after a break up. It means to me that I'm done and dusted with all the questions swirling around in my head of the "why's" at this point I can really move forward because I really don't care anymore. Even if I were to walk into him with someone else there are no longer any feelings good or bad!
The numbness I get straight after a breakup, this is when all the weightloss comes in and the sleepless nights etc.
Not sure at what point you're at with yours but these both explain how I'm effected but at completely different stages.
Something that tells me this person has thought about me long and hard and what I would like. It wouldn't matter if it cost nothing or heaps. If it fits in my home or is something I would purchase for myself it would mean more.
Wish I could feel like that when a relationship ends but it's just not in me. I have to go through all the motions but in saying that I believe the way I deal even though painful at the time makes me a stronger woman/lover the next time around. I take on the chin my part in the split and I make sure it changes with the next, rarely making the same mistakes. But the process is long and that can be frustrating.
Seeing one of my girls bounce back quickly makes it look so easy.
I hear you, never really thought of it like that before but I guess it's because after a split I've always held hope that things will change... He'll come to the realisation that we can work things through and I spend a great deal of time processing before completely letting go.
I like the idea of every heartbreak will trigger something better for the future. In fact I can see it was true for my latest, I can see it but can't feel it while going through it.
I have 3 daughters...yes, it's hard enough being a girl and dealing with heartache and growing up. And I haven't mastered it nor think I ever will! But there are times when I have to try and be there for these girls and help them through the tough times with all the right things to say and magically make it all go away...
We all have been through heartbreak in the last few years, the Leo was probably deceived/betrayed most and she let it all out on FB and expressed how she was hurting for everyone to see. She moved on fast started dating and within 3 months has a new bf and is happy again.
Me (Libra) The Taurus and Cancer all quietly dealt with our own pain and didn't voice much but haven't given ourselves another try in the love stakes...I know this is the way it always is with me. I take time to heal and reflect and relax before I trust again and open up.
Which way do you think is better?
Where in your chart makes a difference in the way choose to heal?
Do you know of people that move on fast and are happy, and are they truly happy?
I'm not sure, her birthday is tomorrow and she was born at 6.55am 1989.
Today she told me she had spent the weekend away with her friends and this guy and that he has friend zoned her. I just put it down to he may not be attracted to her physically...next... life is like that!
Eventually she'll find someone, of that I'm sure. I guess it's just frustrating when you are going through it, especially when young and feeling like you are one of the ones left sitting on the shelf.
Lisa I think, you pick up that I live what my girls go through....it's how mothers with daughters feel because we know only too well how heartbreaking growing up can be!
Her first bf shared my birthday and he and I got on really well, in fact she thought I liked him more than her. Truth is, what frustrated me about her also frustrated him, it was uncanny. Then I found out he was a bully and would hurt her both physically and mentally. She was still in love with him so I called them over and told him I know what he was doing. We talked and he expressed his regret and said he wanted to change. I helped him to seek therapy but she refused because in her mind she wasn't a part of the problem. Eventually they split, she left to pursue the church which he was opposed to and also he hadn't changed. Funnily enough I met his new wife the other day, she is absolutely beautiful inside and out and I know deep down just from hearing her talk that she is suffering the same as my girl with this man.
The only other bf she had was very young and really not ready to where she is, he's still around and I don't think much of him either way except that I know he is too young for her. Same with my other girls, I always express my concerns but it's their lives and their choices. It's the way my mother was with me and my brothers and the way I will be. Of course nobody will ever be perfect for your children but it's their lives.
She'll be ok. Her questioning her beauty is normal. Every woman has done so at some point or another in their lives. All she needs is a good pep talk + a cold hard look in the mirror just to be sure that she's not unknowingly or subconsciously pushing men away before they even have the chance to approach her. It happens!!!
@Kry, she would not marry or look outside of her religion, it's what they are taught and what she respects and wants for herself and children. Her association is mostly only with other members of their faith and they all understand the life path and the courting is "old fashion" She isn't and doesn't hang out where "most 25 year olds" hang out drinking and partying and clubbing. So the men she meet understand and accept her views...
in saying all that, the dating game is still similar, if a man is interested they show it and I guess the men that are attractive to her don't find her attractive which is where her doubts came in and she asked me the question "am I not pretty?"
@ Lisa, I don't choose my daughters partners any more than I would let them choose who I would date. Don't know where you got that from? Did it come off like that? She lives in a different state and I'm not religious.
Andalusia, she has commented in the past that only the older desperate ones are looking. Guys almost twice her age and she is grossed out by that and not interested so possibly it's more that 25 year old men don't want to settle down yet. But in saying that this religion, many of these kids get married and settle down from 19 years old, so it's not uncommon.
I understand what you are saying ANds...you just never know...
She's very clucky and my eldest and mothered my two younger ones and still tries to. She always wanted to have her first at the same age I had her... It's her vision. I wanted my girls all to travel, that would have been my vision for them but seeing how none of them are interested, it's more important what they want. But yes, I'd love to have grandchildren to dote over in my spare time.
Will read krys and other comments properly tonight.
I hope god does soon. I'd like to see her settle down fully myself, I think her role as a mother and wife would be the most fulfilling for her. She took it the hardest when her father and I split. She's 25 this week and in her mind she always thought she would be a mom by now. At that age, a lot of woman start to self doubt they will find someone and have their families and it gets worse each year after.
She likes Europeans, particularly strong London accents! This guy is a blonde Greek.
She is religious and stays in the confines if the church by choice. It is a very social church so it's not like there is hardly any chance, they attend 3-4 times a week. Recently she move states so there is a whole new lot of people she is meeting and associating with. This guy she has met as I said is friendly but doesn't speak to her one on one. They hang out in a crowd, dinner at friends place or restaurants etc. he himself is shy and she said has only ever kissed 3 girls and he's in a band! ( that information came up around the table in a group conversation apparently)
She's really not that insecure in who she is P, I just think she was doubting herself yesterday as she was pondering why guys don't approach her, hardly ever. I had to rack my brains in that too, my thoughts were she is too easy going and comes off as too much like a friend and there's no mystery to her or men pick up she is interested in only long term. She is a Taurus, her and I have a turbulent relationship so I would suggest she stay completely away from libras