I'm exactly where I need to be Kry, there because my friends are there and because I enjoy it. It's not a pretentious ploy to meet someone. And I have no problem with the TV screaming sports all day, I very rarely watch it anyway. Most of the sport I want to watch is on pay TV and therefore it's an outing for me and my mates at a local sports bar
You know I've asked myself that many times, what's wrong with him or me why I can't go further with him because we can talk and I enjoy spending time with him but I guess it comes down to it's just not there...I want the butterflies and this guy has never given me that or made me feel it could be there so I would be just settling and I don't want to settle, I want to be knocked off my feet I think I deserve that!
That's exactly what I feared WC....if at the end of the day it means we can't have a friendship then I will be fine with that. He never takes me seriously with the friends thing and always tries with me whenever we are together which is why I very rarely take up his offers of going out.
I was being selfish and used him to get over my own hurdle of moving on... he did say that we are good friends but with most of what he said, I have the feeling he is going slow thinking it will win me around...Of course I could be wrong.
My sister in law gave me this idea and I like it so I'm going with it, this is my vision board for my new man.
He has to have dark hair and be athletic and conscious of his health and appearance Be smart in either business or overall knowledge Funny and easy going full of energy and happy enjoy sports and competition love entertaining or being entertained and have lots of friends and be family orientated enjoy life and reward themselves for hard work and have a desire to travel Most importantly know how to communicate and express himself and not run from issues like alone time and can relax with nothing to do Is not scared of physical work and knows how to maintain a home
and Give me butterflies
This is the man I wish to meet...I'm happy to overlook some qualities but most of these are important to me
My ex FWB (5 years ago) is back in my life after both going through other relationships. I really enjoy spending time with him and his sister on occasion, every 6 weeks or so I go to his for a BBQ or get together with their friends. He invites me out more often but up until recently I haven't had much time for social activities being exhausted with work.
I believe he has lasting intentions with me, when we talk he always says how he should have listened to me 5 years ago when I told him to slow down and find out who he is as a person, as he has gone from one relationship to another, rebounding. He says how he thinks about us back then and told me last night that his ex use to smell him and tell him that she loves his smell and he never understood what she was on about until now, when he was smelling me and saying that he likes the way I smell and it's not a perfume but rather a body smell... He says things like I need someone that can pull me in line, that is their own person and strong. Then, later on he will say how much he admires me being a strong and self assure person. IDK, it all smells fishy to me and my gut says he has designs on us being more....
Problem is, we have recently stepped over the line again and me doing it for purely selfish reasons. I want to remain friends. He and his sister are a lot of fun to be around and I like the time I spend with them. So where to from here? How do I keep him at arms lengths and tell him I don't want a FWB relationship or for us to be anything more than friends?
Why do you say that? Given that it might be a bar, it is a Sunday afternoon sharing food and drinks with friends and it's where I go regularly to watch sport throughout the whole year. If it's not the MMA with my friends then in winter I watch the football. An interest that I have so therefore a potential partner would also share. In fact my whole life revolves around either sports or gyms.
Curious whether you would think that a gym might be a better place to meet someone or what might be the best places?
At least 20 guys and girls...all sitting and lounging around in an area getting served food and drinks.
The whole bar are there watching the UFC so most are glued to the screens and there is little time between fights. I did notice that he was very interested in the fights, watching every single one... but he has to get up to refill his drink sometime
Exactly, while with my ex I gained around 5-6 kilos nobody said anything until I lost it after the split and then I was told how much weight I had gained and they knew I wasn't happy.
Now had they have told me about my weight gain before the loss, or that I was unhappy in my relationship..I would have been upset with those people for mentioning it and coming to conclusions even though it was all "TRUTH".
The truth isn't always blatantly obvious to the person themselves and that is why it can be upsetting!
I've been sitting with my friends the whole time so we haven't crossed paths at all. I noticed him sitting there once before, when his food came out 3 mini hamburgers (this is what grabbed my attention at first lol) the other day he ordered those cute little burgers again, this is when I really looked at the person.
Yes he maybe taken, and he may not have noticed me either until the other day and it would definitely take huge balls to walk into where I am sitting and start talking to me in front of a UFC fighter and all his friends but I'll break the ice when there is an opportunity and see where it goes from there. Opening the door doesn't mean I'm going to fall at his feet and do all the work, it's just showing that I have an interest as Kry has stated.
MMA and the crowd I'm with has one of the fighters in it which is why we have cordoned off area and possibly why he wouldn't enter.
Won't be for a few weeks now because we have a live fight to go to for the next one and it'd be doubtful that I'd see him there if he has tickets, the crowd being in the 1000's but wouldn't that be a sign if it did!!
Yeah, think next time I see him, I'll go to the bar when he does and talk about my friend haha
I've seen someone around who intrigues me, the situation is at a sporting event watching on big screens, so we are pretty much glued to the screens most of the time. Well he is, my eyes are wandering around and catching up with my friends until the main event I noticed him more this time around and held his stare for a few seconds for the first time. So I don't know anything about him, or even if he is available. He comes with a friend (these events are every 3 weeks) and leaves straight after the last fight. Where we are positioned, I look directly at him and vice versa he's seated himself there the last couple of times, approx 5 metres away.
I don't feel in this situation, he'd come and approach me because I am with a large group of people and we are in a cordoned off area...but we are there for several hours and it's aways on a Sunday afternoon at a local sports bar
Love for me is when I go out all day and sometimes all night to do the things that I want and need to do and when I return you are so happy to see me, all that matters to you is that I'm home to cuddle you and feed you.. And you are always on my mind so I know I have somewhere to be and something to come home to...This is the love I get everyday from my two dogs
No, can't handle it. Situation arose recently and I was glad/relieved that I didn't get the exact truth, right then. In fact I found it all out myself but had had time to process lots before and so therefore it was easier to except it and move on as I was already 50% there. I remember thinking exactly what you said...be careful what you wish for...Regardless of whether you get the full truth or not, you will continue to got through the motions of "what ifs" until things sink in that you just weren't meant to be together. This was with someone whom I was in a relationship with.
Now if it was at the beginning of a relationship, then I would be more open to knowing before I headed in so that i had the choice to not go there at all. But then I have been blind to listening to my gut instinct previously and always the optimist!
My ex inlaws (her Aunty and Nana) are there for her to lend the cry on shoulder P. My ex mother in law is as good as me for the cry on your shoulder and a really good replacement, funny enough, her and I will say the exact same things.
I don't want to jump and rescue her because I honestly want it over, for her own good. She was supporting his dumb arse and I had them here for a year and a half trying to get him working. If she decides to come home, it has to be over between them because we have been through this once before and it'd be de ja vue at my expense!
I know she has to deal with it and will but it pains me to see her status's on FB about her feelings. Stuff like FML, (took me a while to figure out what that meant!) and I just realised I got his name tattooed on me WTF I feel so stupid. Kids and putting everything on FB!!
Luckily she is well loved and has a few close friends both there and on the phone that she can release to that also keep me posted without letting her know they are. Turns out he was texting and talking with someone on their mobile and she found that out a few weeks ago and hit him up about it.
I've wanted to say something to him but won't because I have nothing positive to say to him and will anger her if I do, so putting it here helps me pull my head in!
Thanks Kry, your words always ring true and open my eyes to other directions.
She says that they both have mutually made this decision, however, I know that he didn't come home for 3 nights. Went on a bender without any of his friends or family so it makes me wonder whether there is someone else involved. I haven't asked my girl that question. If she wants to tell me this then that is up to her and of course he may not have anyone else...that is all SPECULATION! At this point she is adamant that she doesn't want to even try salvaging their relationship, they were starting to hate each other in the end (her words)
I have also suggested that she takes time to heal and decide whether she wants to come back home here, she has a 10 day trip from New Years and doesn't need to return but if that is the case then try and get a job transfer and close things off properly there. No pressure, just something for her to think about as she maps out a new future. It also gives her other things to think about than just dwelling on all the hurt.
She moved 8 months ago from here to begin again in our own country and they split 5 days ago.
She is an adult and also needs to process what she is going through, mother or not, I don't have the right to interfere with anyones life and I hold no fears of her hurting herself. I just feel helpless as I can't ease her pain.