my cancer has done so much disappearing. i am fed up. i told him to leave me alone because he got nearly manic between telling me he loved me and i was his home and family and then saying we had no chance, and he hoped we could stay friends for years. "decades"
i told him to leave me alone. but i broke down upset and emailed him today. told him not to reply. i deleted him from phone/apps about three weeks ago. it was an angry email explaining how abandoned i'd felt and how mad i was i still loved him.
do we have any chance left? or is he really done? we also have the issue of living in different countries. though i've lived there for a year and plan to go back
thanks for the input cancersunpiscesmoon... i fully agree with you. and the first time he ever broke up with me i was beyond heartbroken but did not contact him again as i felt it was rude and degrading to myself to try to be with someone who didnt want to be together.
but this is his pattern. he will date me telling me how crazy he is about me and in love, and then do a complete 180 and disappear, only to show back up again saying he made a mistake and can't stop thinking about me and wants to try again. I am pretty fed up, but still completely in love with him. I've asked him even to leave me alone. but still he will text. asking to talk, or meaningless stuff. even if i ignore it.
it seems you may have some insight? i'd appreciate any ideas...
yeah but, if it's not a mom issue in that sense? he can't stand his mother. or really his family. not a good past like i said. and it was never that he didnt think i was good enough, he's always telling me i'm too good for him, and simply says we won't work. and we tried.
the thing is he was always running away if we ever fought, even about stupid meaningless stuff.
the cancer man i know has a serial dating pattern, lasts a few months before he finds all the reasons it wont work. i was sort of the first break in that pattern, and while i know he's in love with me, he won't stay.
will this ever change? and as far as bad pasts, or previous hurts, can cancers ever let that go? is there any way to reach out and help if bad pasts is something that plagues a cancer's relationships?
i'll admit i've learned so much about cancer men on this website, and yet at times i still feel beyond lost. i have been seeing a cancer man for about a year and a half on and off. every off has been at his whim. he has not seen any other women. he simply runs from me. the first time he did this, when he came back, he wanted to ask me to marry him. it was too much too soon for me after his disappearance and i think that it hurt him badly. he never actually asked, but told me later he had wanted to but could tell i was not in it the same place.
we got back together, but it was incredibly rocky, and unhappy. He has a child and we have an age difference and a long distance issue (i study in his country, but only half the year). he left me again, but came back. i told him i didnt want to keep doing the back and forth and we fought and didnt speak for a month. i got really sick he came and took care of me, we started seeing each other again. casually. going out, or him coming over. but he was always attentive when we were together. i know that he has a lot of outside stress from his job and his kid. so i was not upset when it would sometimes be a week between seeing him.
basically he will get drunk and become much like his old self. intensely loving. forcefully so. talking about how ive changed his life and how everything is different and how strongly he feels. telling my friends how in love he is. but just normal can be very reserved. though at times he will be extremely romantic. he'll go through periods of being attentive to me. seeing me often, and then ignore me for days, sometimes a week. I do not push or pressure. an occasion text to check in. often it is hours before i get a vague response. sometimes i dont at all.
and now, once again. he's pushed me away completely. however. i am heading home again in about a month. i will be home for at least four months. if not almost seven. the first time he ever left me was this exact same time last year. as i was headed home again. we live an ocean away from each other. could this have any factoring? and is it worth trying to push for us. im in love with him. we have both felt that our relationship is very different and special for us. but i do not know if he will ever come around. he has a lot of baggage from his childhood and past relationships, that i don't know i can ever get through to him.
also i am positive there is no other women. he has a daughter who gets his weekend time, and he works 60
yes, i get a bit too focused on what it must be that I have done to influence a situation, and can forget the whole picture. i did speak with my friend last night, and found out that he expressly told aries he felt it was wrong for him to pursue anything with me.
he said he didnt know if it affected aries though, but i told him he know it had as aries goes out of his way to ignore me now, and i knew my friend had seen it. he responded " i dont want him to do that!" in an agreement that he had noticed it. and he had briefly mentioned before that perhaps aries was trying to prove a point to him.
i have sent aries a message asking to talk if he wanted, we will see what comes of it all. however now that i know my friend did that, it seems this may be a moot point. though he did apologize and say he knew hed been wrong to, because he does not wnat to date me himself. he was merely possessive of our friendship.
I'm a gemini. I think I am overthinking this more, as it was not something i started nor even thought I wanted. but through aries pursuing realized i genuinely liked him as a person. that is currently what i have been doing. i have gone back to hanging out with my close friend, and i am friendly with aries, but i have not tried to hang out or discuss anything. though the gemini in my very much wants to communicate and clear the air, i am worried about making drama as well.
though i also feel, since i am direct, and aries are usually as well, it could help move everything forward as well. i am not trying to push the relationship in any direction really, rather get clarity and see what happens from there.
i am perfectly ok with blunt. it's more that he's gone completely silent. and our relationship was so new, that i think he may be unsure what to say, or if he should even bother. i've also acted very distant, because of the nature of the situation, i think it is making both of us unsure about each other, and what to do.
we did all hang out together once. it went well enough, however because the friend and i are so close, i kept finding it was much easier to hold a convo with him, and this aries can be quite shy, so he would throw in a few things to his friend, but to me, it was minimal, though jokey and happy, until he ended up going off to do something else. (it was late in the evening and he had work to prepare for the next day).
I wasn't sure if this put him off. but again, we've not spoken enough to even know what the hell is going on. i don't want to push something if aries is trying to give me hints that he's done. but i also know they are incredibly hard to read and i can't assume anything.
im not trying to get between two friends. the one friend and i have never been anything but platonic and we've had the conversation many times before the friend ever showered interest. he came after me,and then backed off. thank you lurverlurver. i was planning to do this but was unsure if it was needless due to his actions.
they have been friends their whole lives. they were next door neighbors. met in kindergarten, and have lived together since graduating college. i did ask the mutual friend if he was simply not interested anymore, and he said while he didnt want to talk about it, he did feel he liked me a lot. but since that time, i have heard very little from the guy, and when we go out he flirts a lot with other girls. i am unsure if he is trying to prove to his friend he wont pursue it. i dont know if its worth asking him about what he is feeling, or if it would make me me seem a bit stupid because he is trying to give a hint. he seems like such a direct person, and has been in the past, so i am very confused.
in really weird situation with an aries. i have known his best friend for a year. we are very very close. i met him properly about two months ago. we hung out for a few weeks, all at his chasing/wanting. however our mutual best friend was quite put off by the potential relationship. it made things quite awkward and we were trying to tiptoe around it. however, he told his friend he would not pursue the relationship with me. but then, we did hang out again, which is when he told me he said that. we spoke some, and when we were together he was very attentive and happy to be with me and it seemed like things would move forward. Now things have gone weird, i am unsure if he is upset about time i spend alone with our mutual best friend, and he has said he believes the mutual friend is a bit possessive of me, even if we are only friends. i thought we'd moved forward, but now i am wondering if he is put off by that. we have spoken very little, but since we are in the same friend group, i do see him a fair bit. we will sometimes lock eyes, and he'll stare at me, and i can still feel that connection, i believe. but it feels he is pURPOSELY trying to avoid me when we are all out. like spending time with all the other girls but me, when before he was only spending the time with me. also his ex and him are still friends, and i know she has been in and out of the picture in the past. but he told her how much he liked me, and that i was really great. i am wondering if all this drama would make aries try to stay away from me for his friend, and possibly go back to an ex? is there any use trying to talk to him? or is he just not interested?
just a quick update. i did message him, and it was just casual, to talk on facebook. i didnt ask to hang out or anything. he responded, within just a few hours. so im thinking perhaps he is just busy and genuinely cant hang out with me at the moment? i really appreciate the responses. still so confused about this sign.
no not yet. obviously he wanted to but he's been really patient and laid back about it. i was more reluctant at first to hang out simply because i was friends with his friend, so perhaps he liked it more when i was a little reserved and held back, and he did need to try a bit more. however he's also told me he really likes my honesty, when i've said to him, you know i'd like to see you, or i'd prefer to come see you than do this (he'd asked me to hang out one night and i had some very soft plans with a group of friends).
im hoping it is the case that he is just very busy right now. and i do know he is. but i'll do my best to just do my own thing and let him come to me. if he wants to ha.
not very long. i've known him for a bit, but as i said was only best friends with his best friend. then he started messaging me on fb saying he'd been wanting to really get to know me for quite a while. we hung out a few times, and i've spent the night with him a handful of times. it's all been very new though. just kissing, talking, getting to know each other and enjoying each other.
the last i saw him intentionally (not cause i was seeing my best friend) was last week, and it was great we spent the day/night together. we had a lot of fun and he was happy and chatty all day. since then, he doesnt ignore my texts, but as a gemini i have no problem saying what i want. (him). i have asked to hang out and he just told me he's busy. i fully believe him, but i do feel like he could maybe make time if he wanted.
however i do get the sense (as you said) that he needs someone who has their own life. and i do! ha so i'm trying not to over think. but was hoping to get some insight!
i'm really new to aries sign in general. i've never liked one before, and I'll say this guy is throwing me through a loop. (i'm gemini). this aries guy is a breath of fresh air, very relaxed, though I do feel some extreme/intense emotions at times under the surface.
when we have been out (we are in the same friend group). he will get quite intense with me. focus on me all night, we usually end up breaking off.
there is some tension as i'm best friends with his best friend (we new each other first).
he is VERY busy. i know his schedule can be hectic, but at times it feels as if, were he really into me, he would make time. though i do know this isnt always the case for people. he does get very focused on his career at times, and disappear. but when were together he's very attentive and makes comments about having missed me or been thinking about me. is it so hard to send a text to that affect?
he's also not great with technology and talking by that means. but in person he is happy to see me. he's a little less into PDA than I am as well it seems. though i can't tell if it's also as we don't know each other great yet.
I'm confused. is this the sign of an aries just having some fun, or is he perhaps more interested but just busy?
cancer man broke up with me a month ago. he was pretty angry, but said we could be friends. he tried then texted me saying we couldnt and it was "not appropriate" for him to text me. he was very upset by me pushing to talk about our issues and work things out(i'm a gemini, love talking, not great for cancer obviously).
right before we split he let me spend hte night with him, (nothing happened) but he was in his shell the whole time, and angry the next day when i tried to talk again.
it's been a month. i did not contact him but to send a letter explaining how i still felt, and that i also felt he was giving up too easily, and out of fear. and regardless of our issues/fighting that it was important to find the person who would fight FOR you. me (obviously)
no word. not surprised. i emailed him recently regarding a document i'd sent him a long time ago. my computer crashed and he had the only copy. simply asked for it. nothing more.
he didnt get back to me for three days, then he texted, said hed do it next week, as he was out of town for business. continued to text me, see how i was, what i'd been up to. then late in the night, asked if id come visit him while he was away. i told him i didnt want games, and he apologized multiple times, and said he was being too selfish.
texted again today to apologize, again. but still answered texts after a month of no contact.