Posted by MetatronPosted by Neno2Posted by MetatronPosted by Neno2Posted by Metatron
I stopped reading at "I'm a timid wallflower who thinks he can read minds and understand relationship motives by staring at people excessively in social gatherings, rather than interacting with them." (paraphrasing)
Tnx for contributing to my thread,u were of much help
I kid...I'm a bit of a wallflower myself, but I'm not so pessimistic about love...
Let me ask you this - have you ever actually been "in love", whatever that means to you? Granted, that it would sort of contradict your premise here, but still...have you ever felt that way?
I think that i am realistic😃
Lets agree to disagree
what about the question on having been in love? too personal?
your first line sort of betrays the self-fulfilling nature of your position. You write "if u are detached u can see the truth behind every action". Love isn't something that can be experienced from a detached perspective; its precisely the result of engaging in intimacy. And it also is really only something that can be experienced, or recalled as an experience. Detaching from intimacy to better understand love, is like trying to judge whether or not a drug is enjoyable by watching others get high. Its a completely different perspective from the inside, no matter how foolish you look to the sober. Perhaps a bad example, but love is very much like a drug right down to the neurological level, except it has a ton of health benefits.
All of these anti-"real love" arguments just don't work IMO. We typically get the "love is just brain chemicals". Well, no it isn't just that. Neurons, hormones, etc. don't actually feel anything. Love is a peak emotional conscious experience mediated by or correlated with brain chemicals sure. But you could say the same for any experience that we deem as having value. The experience of eating an ice cream cone isn't *just* a cascade of chemical reactions leading from your tongue to some patch of neurons. When someone says "that tastes delicious", you don't respond with "well, its just brain chemicals bro!" bc that would be completely beside the point.
So love is not a lie in that sense, its one of the most sought after (and fulfilling, AND healthy) human experiences. The emotional aspect often comes with all sorts of corollary experiences like sex, long-term companionship, communication/learning, growth in character, etc.
One angle you're taking here is that love isn't "real" because its self-centered. Firstly that's a catch-all argument again that people can make about anything. "Everyone does everything for themself!" "But what about the homeless dude I just gave $ 100 to?" "You don't give a butter about him bro! You just wanted to feel good about your self." Any positive thing you can do, no matter HOW self sacrificial will always be vulnerable to an argument like that. That's why its a pretty useless argument actually. It explains too much, and isn't nuanced enough to account for the fact that we do indeed often perform certain behaviors that are clearly more sacrificial than others. If I give a dude $ 5 for washing my windshield at a traffic stop "because it makes me feel good", its a hell of a lot less sacrificial than if I decide to take up an extra job to help put my partner through school so she can fulfill her dreams. People in love do all sorts of things for one another, often expecting little to nothing in return, and to say that the motive is ENTIRELY self-centered is ridiculous. Its obvious that we're wired somewhat to derive joy by creating joy in others, and that's not something bad or self-centered. The dual nature of altruism is what helped it evolve, and same goes for reciprocity of any form. Its not self-centered to loan my hedge clippers to my neighbor, just because I know he'll have my back in another area one day. Its foundational to the type of cooperation that civilization is built on.
So I just think your views are simplistic on the matter, probably from lack of experience. And I think once you fall in love, they'll change entirely....
TLDR me and excuse my typos...click to expand
Posted by SjessPosted by NotmyrealnamePosted by Sjess
How do you post memes
Copy/paste from wherever 😊
I tried to copy and paste a photo from my photos and it dontnwork. Help me I’m stupid 😂click to expand
Posted by LostinmyMind11
Ain't no way I can choose just one lol
Posted by Argus
Just because I can....
Posted by Sjess
How do you post memes