Cancer Moon in 12th house trines Neptune

Posted by kart

we want different things from a relationship and he is not mature enought to talk about it and be honest.

what the treetrunk?

There was nothing to talk about. You call him immature for not talking about how he feels about a relationship with you when you weren't even in one with him ... except a fwb.

You're way over the top ... so long as you refuse to realize that you were the one who wasn't being honest about the reality of this ... then you'll never get to the point of a mature relationship with a guy because you will always have irrational and unrealistic expectations.

Just the sentence above proves it. You expect him to soothe your insecurities with sentiments about a relationship with you that never existed.

And "no" you're not over this. If you were then you would have had the maturity to never make this thread. Because this thread doesn't show him as the bad guy .. it shows you as being oblivious to your surroundings.

Again ... do yourself a favor and start paying REAL attention to what's going on around you, rather than just rushing towards what you want it to mean.

Posted by youngali
What are some of the things you would want to inform people about Pisces before they consider dating one?

Most Pisces can see right through you.

Posted by Seraphlight
Is there anything we can do to help??? P Angel?

No, I'm good, thanks.

And I do love a good read, thanks for the link.

My chemo sessions are going to take around 4.5 to 5 hours ... so, I'll need a good book to keep my mind busy and entertained.

thanks for the link
Posted by Sax664
Posted by P-Angel
Posted by Sax664

take care, dear p!

sincerley, nem.

you are the only reason i signed back on here!
how are you feeling today?
so, tomorrow is the big day! i shall be thinking of you.

in case you feel like a great read

it´s a great book. "Tuesdays with Morrie"
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I feel honored you came back. And I was greatly saddened when you left.

I'm scared, actually, but, physically feeling ok. Of course, in pain. But, cancer is very painful, so this will be my daily norm. The only real thing that bothers me bad about this tumor is that it pushes on my diaphragm, which causes me to lose my breath and have to gasp for air. If I don't move, then the pressure doesn't release and I can't breathe. It's really frightening when you can't breathe. Which in turn causes dizziness, and is damaging to the brain and heart. So long as I can adjust myself to get the pressure off my diaphragm, I'm in good shape. And then I have to sleep, which there's always the wonder if I'm going to not realize that I'm not breathing.

I'm confident that the chemo will be shrink the tumor.

Over the weekend, I was blown away with how many people came to me, ready to assist me in whatever I need ... it's a real testament of who your friends are when they give themselves to you.

I am very fortunate with how many people I have in my life who care about me. btw, none of those people were family members.
Posted by Ram416
Posted by juliette
ok my boyfriend and i are fighting right now, he thinks you need advices about right now, and i'm all about, do what you have to do.

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ditto the ??

Can you please clarify? You and your boyfriend are fighting because you aren't counseling me?

Please ...... make sure he realizes that I don't need help. I'm quite prepared to handle my reality, which ever turn it takes.

I'm not in emotional distress at all.

Please don't fight over it.
Posted by tamara
I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how grey the day may appear.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.

I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.

wow, that's beautiful. Thank you, lovely lady

Posted by kart

He wants more of a physical relationship

He still hasnt replied to me. texted him to ask him to talk abiut how he feels.

Actually, I take back half of what I said ... because this isn't about him not giving a rats ass. It's about bombarding a guy (who just wants a physical relationship from you with) with your emotional neediness, and trying to force him into emoting with you.

The only problem I see here is that you're in fwb situation and too dumb to realize it, so you go to other people griping about how you're taken for granted .... when in reality, you're not taken for granted.

You gave your consent when you treetrunked him without terms.

And in the future .... everytime you try to force a guy to talk about his feelings, it's equivalent to putting a gun to the relation and pulling the trigger.

do yourself a favor and stop whining about your wants, and start paying attention to what is actually happening.

Posted by kart
Posted by P-Angel
Posted by kart

First he doesnt read the text.

Then he read it and dint bother to reply.

and after an hour he send me a snap on snapchat normally.

I dint reply to that though because i cant be taken for granted anymore.

So, let me get this straight ..... he takes more than an hour to respond to you, so you shut him down?

A person isn't allowed an hour of personal space, and MUST jump to you to give you attention immediately?

It was a treetrunking hour ... an hour.

So, what do you do? ... you ignore him and don't reply to him at all

In my opinion ..... it's a good thing you're walking away, you're a bullet that he will soon realize he dodged

I have tried everything to be accomadating to him. and when i ask him to give our relationship a name he tells me that his friends think he is intolerant? Where was the intolerance when he was wooing me. He wants a more physical relationship and i am wanting to connect with him on an emotional level too. I have gone way beyond my comfort zone physically and wat did i want? a little bit how 'how was ur day?' I never not reply to him, i always stop myself when he throws his ego in my face, fix my irritation and be normal again and talk to him with utmost respect and keep in mind his moods and needs.

If im still the one to be blamed, because he thinks he can take my feelings for granted.

And you know what? He dint reply to my text. He instead sent me a pic of him having wine. like in my face for making him feel like he is important to me.

He still hasnt replied to me. i still kept my ego aside and texted him to ask him to talk abiut how he feels. But no u shut me up and expect me to wait for eternity because your too confused if i am the best for you and omg i can find better?

Then go find better. I know i put my heart and soul in this relationship so if "he has dodged the bullet", another man will love me for the efforts i make for him. Thank you for being so comforting.
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You don't need comforting, you need a wake up call.

You are NOT the best for him, as you seem to think. This is what you believe, falsely, so it causes you to chase after him like a fool.

And send texts to him demanding that he talk about his feelings for you? Are you completely nuts?

Apparently, you have no clue that men aren't female. Apparently, you don't know that it's not up to someone else to decide your fate.

You chase after his approval of you, so you can find merit in yourself, and value yourself. You don't seem to have enough self esteem, security or confidence to value yourself. You appear to have to have someone tell you that you're more.

Instead of sitting around waiting for someone else to decide you have worth .... why don't you make the decision that you have meaning because you say you do, because you believe you do.

What's the point in comforting a person who only wants her ignorance to be coddled?

Have some integrity for crying out loud, and quit whimpering over a man who couldn't give a rats ass.
Posted by kart

First he doesnt read the text.

Then he read it and dint bother to reply.

and after an hour he send me a snap on snapchat normally.

I dint reply to that though because i cant be taken for granted anymore.

So, let me get this straight ..... he takes more than an hour to respond to you, so you shut him down?

A person isn't allowed an hour of personal space, and MUST jump to you to give you attention immediately?

It was a treetrunking hour ... an hour.

So, what do you do? ... you ignore him and don't reply to him at all

In my opinion ..... it's a good thing you're walking away, you're a bullet that he will soon realize he dodged

BUT ........ it's not like it used to be when cancer was an automatic death sentence.

people survive cancer all the time .... so I have to sit patiently and await until all of the cards to dealt.

My liver could respond wonderfully
Posted by Infinite8

So, half of you wants to fight for life and the other half wants to just go? How do you feel about taking chemo?

Not really. I mean, I just don't view life in this form the same way as everyone else. This existence in a meat suit, which is filled with human errors, hypocrisies and blind passion/hate doesn't supercede the life of my soul. I don't really see a need to fight for a life that is meant to die when it's time is up.

Like everything in my life, I'd rather step aside and let it pass .... then lift my vision to the horizon and await a new adventure.

Most people think this life is precious and special ... I just think it's another existence to experience, nothing more special then the last, or the next.

There really is nothing to fight for, if the fighting is to attempt to change fate. Seems pointless to me.

Anyway, yeah .... i'm not looking forward to the chemo. Mainly just because I don't have realistic expectations, and I know it. I like to be in control of all aspects of my life and I'm in the dark here.

Mainly, my biggest concern is my husband. 1. I have always taken care of things, of him ... and I might be so ill that I won't even be able to prepare a meal for him after a long days work. He's going to have to step up to the plate, and though he doesn't mind at all .. it's just that I will feel helpless in not being able. 2. He's a Virgo, so naturally, his mind will be going nuts trying to figure out how to make my life better, easier, what can he do to help me, to comfort me, to serve me. And though, it's a very endearing quality to have ... at the same time, I don't want to put stress on him. He will have a lot to deal with, and I don't want to be a burden to him.

I'll probably check out when and if I get so bad that I can't manage on my own. You know, like if he to change my diapers or feed me. I just won't let it get to that point.
Posted by cheekyfaerie
Just don't watch me masturbate.

I don't know what to say beyond that. Thank you sounds like you're already gone. I'm sorry you won't get your one on one before Tuesday, but thank goodness for Google. You've got some time to get acquainted enough to hopefully not be too scary. Regardless of how ready you are though, this whole thing's still scary. Now I'm just rambling, but comfort!... comfort I wish for you most of all.

Give it hell, you ol' bird.

Yeah, google wasn't much fun ...... mostly talked about hair loss and vomiting. I was really more interested in other side effects, like: can I walk, stay awake, will I have a horrendous headache, how many hours/days will recovery take? One lady was saying that they went in full on with 96 hours straight chemo, and shrunk her tumor in those hours, rather than several weeks of treatment.

I'm very stubborn and determined ..... it's doubtful that I'll be laying in bed for days whining.

My father's liver killed him, and I don't really know if cancer is hereditary ..... anyone know?

Thank you to everyone who contributed to this thread, all responses are read, appreciated and applied appropriately.

someone asked about the stage of cancer, and I don't have that answer. The doctor didn't say anything about that.

He told me I would find all of this out during my cancer teaching session. Before my chemo starts, I have to go through a one-on-one class, in where they will answer all of my questions, and give detailed information on the treatment process, side effects, home care and basically everything I need to know, I guess.

the doctor would have answered this question, but, I didn't think about to ask, and he didn't offer the info.

They did call me an hour ago and said the doc wants to start sooner, so my first session is this coming Tuesday .... so, that means I get the first treatment without the teaching session and that's kind of scary.

Posted by Harukka
Posted by seraph
Posted by P-Angel

So, just letting everyone know that if I suddenly stop posting, then you'll know why. I won't close the account down. I'll just vanish one day. When it gets to the point where I cannot even post any longer, then I'll update everyone so they know the end is near.

Happy trails, everyone ...... I'll see you all on the other side. In the meantime, if a ghost is haunting the treetrunk out of you and you know you've been a bleep and deserve it ..... yep, that would be me still kicking your ass.

What can I say to someone who knows they're not the body, and that they are The Absolute (and have been all along.) My heart breaks, but with you, in the clear light of your composure, I'm in awe.

My father passed away in my arms in May 2014. All I wanted for him was to be surrounded by love, and to *know* that, right up until he fell into his deep (and final) sleep. I'd wish you the same, P, but you already have it - more than you can imagine. You know you're free, and that you can be nothing other than that.

What I will wish for you is a little more strength for those days when the body is more burdensome, just to top off what you've already got in such abundance.

Some of us miss you already, P, but your presence is stronger than ever. Enjoy as many days as you can.

Allow me to thank you mr.Seraph.
I'm glad that men like you here... just so we don't give up in this horrible world.
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I agree. And it is very rare to come across people who can remain impartial, at all times. A trait I strive for, myself.

My brother (Scorpio) can't wait until I lose my hair ... twisted bastard
Posted by starwars
Posted by P-Angel
Posted by Leaves

tbh I hope you live and find peace. but in the end, it's what you want. There's alot to life and if you're excited for what's coming, then you have nothing to worry about

I am at peace, and very happy. It's funny how when people don't understand, they believe the person to be miserable or unhappy.

I love myself, just the way I am, and have been at peace with my life for many, many moons.

If I keep living, then that's great !!!!! I get to be with my husband and animals longer.
If I die, then that's great also. I get to move on to start another life experience in another form of existence.

good to hear, I've always found you adorable
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Posted by mcaesar91

it's hard to be completely pro-active if the communication isn't being reciprocated. I'm not expecting her to perform for me at all, but I am expecting something. At this stage, if I message back and don't get something back for 3-4 days I don't really see how that showcases her 'dropping everything to focus on me' or even 'fully listening'.

You're right. I missed that part. I didn't catch where she blows you off for days a time before responding. This doesn't add up to my description.

In this case, I would say she isn't really into you. Usually, an interested Pisces (especially the female) is going to drop everything she's doing to make you feel special and valued. Since she isn't doing this, then it's probably safe to say she isn't really interested in this, as much as you would like her to be.

Posted by mcaesar91

Granted! this is only online communication and i'd love to push that further but there aren't many opportunities if i'm talking to you twice in a week (at best). You said that I have no chance with this woman the way i'm approaching this, but at this stage my only approaching is to try and get a decent conversation going which flows for a bit to the point where I can start to initiate more, I mean i'm strong (atleast I think so haha) but there's something to be said for continuous talking at the start haha

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Online romances don't work in my opinion.

There HAS to be chemistry, and these pheromones don't vibrate virtually, regardless of how much a person might want them to.

Without close physical proximity ..... there can be no true connection.

I guess I didn't fully read the OP, because I didn't read this part either. I probably wouldn't have even responded if I realized this wasn't even a relation.