.my sting is f a t a l . πŸ¦‚
Scorpio Sun, Libra Moon and Mars, Sagittarius Venus, Capricorn Rising

Posted by StrawberryJam
I think a mature cap will always try to make you happy. however like elle said don't start with critizism. just let him know how you feeling. Trust me if he cares he would apologize for the hurt / misunderstanding.

that's how mine is anyway


Yea, he told me he shut down because of my reaction but apologized and told me that I have every right to be upset..

We had a long talk last night.. It went well..

** Every new relationship takes some "growing up" on both sides and you've gotta get use to each persons ways.. Likes, dislikes etc. No 2 ppl are the same.. & That's where we are.. getting to know each other and also, in a sense, getting to know ourselves.. We got a ways to go.
Posted by Rindaroo
Posted by poison_ivy
Posted by Rindaroo
Posted by Capri-sun
Okay, I'm going to go against the grain here as usual...

Poison ivy, I ❀ u to death, I think your energy would be better spent elsewhere.

Decision is yours to make, I personally just don't think he's fully vested. His words aren't matching his actions. Go with the actions.

Regardless of whether it's just due to work or not, he sounds like he doesn't have time for a relationship.


The more I read here, the more I agree. with this. Caps make time for what or who is important. It must be difficult being in a LDR. I know my Cap on the phone or texting is so different than in person. I can't imagine not having the physical time. Also, my cap always touches base with me, after work when he's home ( he works in the restaurant industry so it's late a lot). Sometimes just a hey I'm home & goodnight. It doesn't take much. Or last night with a text at 12:30 a.m. To let me know he'd fallen asleep & just woke up.. which I didn't see til 6 a.m. Point is the action. If they don't make effort, you have to question the words. Not one instance or two, but if it is a pattern. In my view, complaining or telling them what to do has no affect. They must do things because they want to. That's where you see if they are invested.


Yes! I agree!! He's not a phone person better in person with his words! But I want actions behind those words!!! So I def get what you're saying!! I get those check in text.. but the talk I wanted to have wasn't had and that's disappointing..

So..
He text me a few minutes ago saying:

I read your text.. I'm sorry that I didn't make the call.. and that I didn't give you a heads up.. it wasn't intentionally but I understand how you could feel. Im working on it and will try to do better about it. All this is new for me.. I was honestly upset at how you reacted but you had every right to be upset. Can we just makeup already tho? I wanted to wait for the animosity to settle before coming back to the situation.. but I want a kiss.. & I still want that talk. I'm calling you tonight. Answer for me, Please mami.

😳


Ahhh! Well yeah I think men in general back up when women are really upset. Ok maybe just my experience. Lol. That's why I suggested next time telling him he hurt your feelings & maybe that opens it up for the discussion instead of two people reacting. Responding works way better than reacting. I learned that even my ex would listen when I calmed it down. Now whether they actually do things & make changes is a different story. That's where paying attention to the actions is so important.

Also being closer would help a lot I'm thinking if one of you could arrange that. It just makes such a diffference to see each other at least a couple of times a week if not more.
click to expand


LOL! He's the first man I've been with that "backs off" when he's upset.. It's taking some getting used to.. I know I always bring up my ex.. But that's because it was a long relationship.. But he [my ex, Scorpio] would pick and nag, and push me to tell him what was wrong.. Force me to talk about our issues.. Fuss & yell etc... Like I said.. I do have similar characteristics of a cap [Cap Rising] so I use to shut down all the time with my ex.. He would beg me to talk... I talked when I was ready..... LOL! So maybe I'm getting a taste of my own medicine.. I hate "silent treatments".. & stopped doing them after I met my cap because I hate how it feels when he does it to me.. Don't get me wrong.. It's still a work in progress but I'm speaking up more now when I'm upset or if there is an issue.. Next time, I'll tone it down.. Tell him he hurt me.. etc. He responds better when I am calm for sure..

When we talked last night I asked him why he shuts down on me? That it doesn't make our situation better when we can't work it out.. & he said because he wants to let things cool off, wrap his brain around it and talk vs fight. I like that approach, even though it annoys me.. But once we are closer it won't bother me much.. LDR makes a huge difference during stuff like this.. because he's different over the phone. WHen we are together and fuss a bit.. [little stuff].. he'll fuss, smile and smirk. joke around a bit.. & I'd roll my eyes cause he isn't taking me seriously and then he just kisses me and tells me to stop being an ass or a baby.. lol.. I prefer that. But that's not our situation at the present.

Anyways, He did call me last night.. & I am so glad he kept his word this time.. Because Lord knows.. lol. I would have been done after this.... But he did.. He sounded so tired.. I asked him if he was okay to talk because he sounded sleepy.. and he said he was exhausted from work, but wanted to talk about "US"..so we discussed "US".. We came to conclusions that things would be easier if we are closer to each other.. He wants me to move closer to him.. & it only makes more sense that I move to him because his 100 jobs (lol) are unique to his location.. I can find an accounting position anywhere.. I told him I am willing to make that move but that it won't happen overnight... I have responsibilities, and I would like to have a job in place. I can move my biz anywhere I go and I would have to look at schools for my child and find a place for me and her to live.. We agreed that before we live together, we can live apart as we are still getting to know each other.. It was a good talk.. It went for about 1.5 hours.. I was shocked.. I told him that I would like him to help me find places etc.. & he said he is willing to do that..

I'm still keeping an eye on his actions for sure.. A risk to move my life for someone is a big deal for me.. and I wanna know that it's the right decision.
Posted by Sunsetvirgo
Posted by poison_ivy
Posted by Sunsetvirgo
"Passionate from miles away
Passive with the things you say
Passing up on my old ways
I can't blame you, no
noooo" 🎼


What song is this??? 😏


Passionfruit- Drake
click to expand


I'm so late..

** searches YouTube **


Posted by Evoxxxscorpio
Hope things are much better now



Lol!!

Well I didn't respond to the text but he called.. we had a long discussion... I'd say it went well
Posted by Rindaroo
Posted by Capri-sun
Okay, I'm going to go against the grain here as usual...

Poison ivy, I ❀ u to death, I think your energy would be better spent elsewhere.

Decision is yours to make, I personally just don't think he's fully vested. His words aren't matching his actions. Go with the actions.

Regardless of whether it's just due to work or not, he sounds like he doesn't have time for a relationship.


The more I read here, the more I agree. with this. Caps make time for what or who is important. It must be difficult being in a LDR. I know my Cap on the phone or texting is so different than in person. I can't imagine not having the physical time. Also, my cap always touches base with me, after work when he's home ( he works in the restaurant industry so it's late a lot). Sometimes just a hey I'm home & goodnight. It doesn't take much. Or last night with a text at 12:30 a.m. To let me know he'd fallen asleep & just woke up.. which I didn't see til 6 a.m. Point is the action. If they don't make effort, you have to question the words. Not one instance or two, but if it is a pattern. In my view, complaining or telling them what to do has no affect. They must do things because they want to. That's where you see if they are invested.
click to expand


Yes! I agree!! He's not a phone person better in person with his words! But I want actions behind those words!!! So I def get what you're saying!! I get those check in text.. but the talk I wanted to have wasn't had and that's disappointing..

So..
He text me a few minutes ago saying:

I read your text.. I'm sorry that I didn't make the call.. and that I didn't give you a heads up.. it wasn't intentionally but I understand how you could feel. Im working on it and will try to do better about it. All this is new for me.. I was honestly upset at how you reacted but you had every right to be upset. Can we just makeup already tho? I wanted to wait for the animosity to settle before coming back to the situation.. but I want a kiss.. & I still want that talk. I'm calling you tonight. Answer for me, Please mami.

😳
Posted by Capri-sun
Posted by poison_ivy
Posted by Capri-sun
Okay, I'm going to go against the grain here as usual...

Poison ivy, I ❀ u to death, I think your energy would be better spent elsewhere.

Decision is yours to make, I personally just don't think he's fully vested. His words aren't matching his actions. Go with the actions.

Regardless of whether it's just due to work or not, he sounds like he doesn't have time for a relationship.


I heart you back Capri..

Thanks for this advice... I get where you are coming from..

I've asked him before if he thinks we should be friends and go our own ways because of our busy schedules.. His is busier than mine..Obviously.. He says, no... I wanna be with you..

It's def hard to walk completely away because there are feelings there.. but I've always given the option to move on.. as just friends.

He's a great dude but deep down in my gut, there is always this feeling that I should let it burn and if there is a future, or not, then so be it..

With us doing the whole LDR thing and busy schedules.. Our timing is just way off! I wished we'd met in the past.. because we had different lives then.. BUT life doesn't work on our terms.. So..That's what this "phone convo" was suppose to be about ..that I went off on him about because he didn't call.. LOL!.. There's a reason behind the madness.. Anyhow, We were gonna discuss what we needed to do.. talk about the reasons our relationship isn't progressing.. & try to figure out how to make things better etc.. Talk it out.. Come to terms mutually whether it's take a step back, move to each others city etc.. I really wanted to talk and get to the bottom of it and move forward.. No matter what decision it may be.

But it didn't happen.. and at this point.. I'm really thinking, hell if the convo does happen.. hell if it doesn't.. My sag venus "runaway fast" is surfacing..

You'll do what's best for you either way.
click to expand


Indeed!!
Posted by Sunsetvirgo
"Passionate from miles away
Passive with the things you say
Passing up on my old ways
I can't blame you, no
noooo" 🎼


What song is this??? 😏
Posted by Capri-sun
Okay, I'm going to go against the grain here as usual...

Poison ivy, I ❀ u to death, I think your energy would be better spent elsewhere.

Decision is yours to make, I personally just don't think he's fully vested. His words aren't matching his actions. Go with the actions.

Regardless of whether it's just due to work or not, he sounds like he doesn't have time for a relationship.


I heart you back Capri..

Thanks for this advice... I get where you are coming from..

I've asked him before if he thinks we should be friends and go our own ways because of our busy schedules.. His is busier than mine..Obviously.. He says, no... I wanna be with you..

It's def hard to walk completely away because there are feelings there.. but I've always given the option to move on.. as just friends.

He's a great dude but deep down in my gut, there is always this feeling that I should let it burn and if there is a future, or not, then so be it..

With us doing the whole LDR thing and busy schedules.. Our timing is just way off! I wished we'd met in the past.. because we had different lives then.. BUT life doesn't work on our terms.. So..That's what this "phone convo" was suppose to be about ..that I went off on him about because he didn't call.. LOL!.. There's a reason behind the madness.. Anyhow, We were gonna discuss what we needed to do.. talk about the reasons our relationship isn't progressing.. & try to figure out how to make things better etc.. Talk it out.. Come to terms mutually whether it's take a step back, move to each others city etc.. I really wanted to talk and get to the bottom of it and move forward.. No matter what decision it may be.

But it didn't happen.. and at this point.. I'm really thinking, hell if the convo does happen.. hell if it doesn't.. My sag venus "runaway fast" is surfacing..
Posted by Librajean
Posted by poison_ivy
Posted by Librajean
I struggle with communication with my Cap too, I'm a Libra sun, gem moon and Virgo mars..I love to talk and intellectualize...we are a hit and miss in this department. But one thing about my guy is he doesn't sugarcoat and demands respect. Talking to him straight forwardly comes very naturally..that's how he likes it. So it's easy for me to be to the point with him. Although surprisingly Cap are very sensitive so will dish it out but can't take it. I just try to be nurturing with him now. They are like big children very mature when young but les and less as they grow older..so I would recommend talking to him in a loving and nurturing way to get your point across..


Oh I understand you..

Me and my cap can talk for hours and hours about everything under the sun...when we're together.. So we get along well in that dept. BUT as you said, he can dish it.. He can't take it though.. & You're right.. they are like little mature children.. They are very sensitive.. SO I am sweet oftentimes.. He accepts it.

When it's about us, etc.. he'll say, this is important, etc etc... he wants to talk about his feelings when I bring up the dynamic of our relationship because we are LDR.. & things are getting stronger.. It's not easy to deal with.. but he hides away when its actually time to talk about those feelings and emotions.. That's something I've been patient with.. Never forced him to talk when he isn't ready.. I still lay on the compliments often.. He does love that.. SO I agree..

But with this situation it was different. I just want to be considered for things when I make time to talk.. It's a BIG situation.. & I felt forgotten.. Most times I don't say anything and he moves on like "it's not a big deal" that he didn't call, and never acknowledges that he didn't call.. Not a good feeling.


I know...it's because he knows you'll call him. Don't call him see how long it takes for him to call you..you are acting like putty in his hands..

Don't give him so much power he will have less respect for you. I love powerful men too trust me but show him your powerful too, he'll come running πŸƒπŸ½ lol
click to expand


Trust me I do... LOL!

Matter fact.. While he's mad about me calling him out... I'm giving him his space.. I haven't reached out after I sent my last text.. When he got in "defense mode"... Only ppl that go in defense mode right away know they are wrong.. O_O

I have similar behavior of a cap and I didn't realize it til I started looking up my natal chart and picking out things that are very much like me.. I have placements that like space, and to travel etc... I'm always out and about.. Traveling places..

When he gets silent.. I leave him be.. I have moments where I go silent.. He was reaching out EVERYDAY.. But I still didn't respond.. Not to play games or toy with him.. But I'm not a big phone person.. I rather see.. & touch him! & I notice that he comes back 10 times harder when I "ghost"..
Posted by Gabzy
what is nagging to u? I don't understand why you said she nagged...


Thank you..

I get a break from the antagonizing!

LOL!..
I have never nagged him ever.. I don't even like to be nagged.. SO why would I do it..
OMG! She's crazy!! O_O

LOL!
AHHHHHH!

I'm gonna throw that heel at your head that you spoke of! LMAO!

I want! GIMME!
Posted by Evoxxxscorpio
Posted by poison_ivy
Posted by Evoxxxscorpio
Posted by poison_ivy
Posted by Evoxxxscorpio
Posted by poison_ivy
Posted by cheekyfaerie
Posted by poison_ivy
Posted by cheekyfaerie
Ya know it's serious when she busts out words like "conducive".

Didn't read all the responses, so disregard if someone else brought it up, but...

You robbed yourself of an apology when you jumped on his ass at 0400.

He's a grown ass man. He knew what he told you he'd do and he knew he didn't do it. He knows that's worth an apology, without you nagging him. Now you'll never know if he was going to apologize or if he didn't deem it worthy of one.

Calm your tits next time. It's in your best interest.



Calm my tits... after the 30th time of him doing this to wait for an apology I never got before... to move on like butter ain't important... & like he ain't do nothing wrong?

Nope.. Not this time.


So this is habit?

I can't imagine nagging is going to make communication better. Are things good in other areas? Sometimes you have to pick your battles, but if he all around sucks at being a boyfriend, it's time to question what you're getting out of this and whether it's worth it.

If this is the one area he lacks, you should evaluate why it's such a stickler for you. Are your expectations too high? Are you making him pay for someone else's mistakes? Etc.


Yes, this particular situation has been a habit for him..

He'll say he's gonna call me, or even come see me.. & then he doesn't call.. or he waits til the next day after he was suppose to be with me to say "This & that happened, sorry I couldn't come"... I hate being let down.. without a word.. If it only happened once.. Then no big deal.. BUT it's def happened more than 10 times. & my point is that, There is no way in hell that you can't find the time to text a quick message saying, I know I said this.. But something came up.. Let's do this tomorrow or reschedule. I'm understanding as I said in my post earlier... I have a lot of PM's with woman and men on here that say I am patient.. understanding.. strong.. with him when we have little chats about our situations.. This situation where I blew up was one because it's been a situation that has been discussed once.. (I never nagged after the first time.. ) I let it go.. brushed it under the rug..

This time since it was discussing our progression and what we want to do about our distance and us being busy and our timing.. Making this work.. Because feelings are getting stronger and the distance SUCKS, I looked forward to that convo.. Because we both struggle with being in a LDR.. But it didn't seem as important as he made it. That's just my opinion. I would have been okay to tyalk about it at a later time if he couldn't but why not take a few minutes to give me a heads up.. Like sorry can't do this tonight.. I would have been okay with that.

& Again, I definitely have more positives to say about this man.. He's everything I could ask for..

But in my past relationships.. I shut down.. kept my mouth closed about my issues.. I was afraid to speak up because I didn't want the guy to "leave me".. So I pleased him.. Never happy deep down.. Brushed everything under the rug until at some point I resented the person I was with because I lost myself.. & in the end I lost hope.. & I eventually left them. & I'm not talking short relationships.. Years & years of dealing with mess and I had NO voice. That's a waste of time, IMO.. & If I'm gonna waste my time with someone I wanna spend that time happy..

So..
I told myself the next time I'm with someone.. I wanna be heard too.. I want my little needs met. I'm VERY easy to please.. & very giving.. so I desire the same in return.. I'm worth it.

Not making him pay for anything.. If anything he's way better than my ex..

Me & my ex constantly fought.. Yelled, screamed.. & most of the yelling was my ex.. LOL! a man.. I shut down alot. He was very manipulative..& more.. So my Caps calm way of approaching situations is settling for me.. I like it.. We always speak patiently to each other when we're together about something we have an issue with.. Trust me he dishes it.. he just can't take it.. But we are Calm Debaters.. This time.. LOL! I wasn't so calm.


lol just take it like this they're softies that's why they shut.


LOL!!!

If this situation were vice versa.. LOL! I'd still be wrong! O_O


lol I already told you what I'd do but people will call it manipulation lol


LMAO! Anything we do (scorpios) is wrong..



Lol if I sit back relax and let her reach out I'm a manipulator lol
click to expand


Pfffftttt! It's nothing wrong with letting an interest reach out..

Let a cap do it and we gotta be patient.. GIVE HIM SPACE> Tf Scorps need space too!
Posted by CAPR1LICIOUS
Posted by Evoxxxscorpio
Posted by CAPR1LICIOUS
Posted by poison_ivy
Posted by CAPR1LICIOUS
Posted by poison_ivy
@CAPR1LICIOUS

Exactly.. I expect basic courtesy from anyone that's apart of my life.. If they say they are going to do something, and can't, no worries, just give me a heads up.. Not leaving me hanging to wonder.. & Right away when you said you would do said thing.. Not wait days later.. to say, "hey I couldn't do what I said I would do.." Then it's like well DUH! lol It looks like you don't care when you "forget" someone.. & I'm sorry but I don't wanna feel that my boyfriend doesn't care.. Im sure he does but he should put himself in my shoes.. I admit, if I read my text that I sent him early this morning, I would have been upset.. but understood and apologetic because I "left him hanging" if it were vice versa.. But he responded defensively which also leads me to believe that he know's he's wrong. You don't go to defense mode when you've done nothing wrong IMO.

I have a hard time taking people seriously who are unable to keep their word. I will not react, but it will cause me to be emotionally distant. No one wants to be taken for granted.

THE ABOVE is what i mean.. *CLAPS HANDS*

If you don't keep your word, how do you expect me to trust you? There's gonna be a time where I won't be able to take him seriously and in that instance, we have failed our relationship.

Lots of patience... O_O -woosahhhh!


Is that his only problem? The communication bit? Because, in all other aspects he seems like a great guy with values. Don't give up on him.




Yes that's my only BIG issue.. I appreciate you saying that! ☺️ & distance. He is a great guy.. just normal couple issues. πŸ˜•


I agree with you, Ivy. These are normal issues that most couples face. How you handle them depends on the two people involved.

You must know of a quote by Maya Angelou...



We often expect people to change, but that rarely happens, unless they realize it is something they want themselves. Through their actions, they are telling you what you should expect from them. That is their true nature. It's who they are.

Once you realize you can't change them though, it takes away a lot of the stress. I just mentioned this so it can help you relax. Knowing you have no control over someone's actions can be so liberating.

You have expressed your concerns to him, and he knows what bothers you. Now it's completely up to him to decide what he wants to do with that information.


lol it's either you accept the flaws or you don't. But me I just sit, relax and eat my popcorn 🍿




Lol Evo! You never get serious, do you? πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
click to expand


He so silly!
I like joking with him..

LOL! Out of all this bashing people are doing towards me.. He makes me laugh..
Posted by JohnTheBaptist100
Posted by Impulsv
No this isn't little butter this is big
Why do u put up with it? Scorpios are too forgiving always giving the benefit of the doubt. But he's done it many times
Why ? That doesn't matter he is not that man
Ur expectations are normal he just can't meet them
Any one here who says that leaving ur partner hanging on dates n calls is ok ,well when it happens to them...


At first the scorp makes out that he is just a "good guy" with "communication problems" but now further down the line it doesn't look like he is all that and the OP talks a good game, but it looks like she is putting up with a lot of butter and nagging him about it.

He knows that he will not change and she knows that but she prefers to nag him to death than to get rid of him. This is "water fixed sign" mentality.

His bad habits are coming out in the wash now... Why cant people tell the truth and be plain and simply honest from the get go...
click to expand


I can't win either way..LOL!

"Give him a chance.. be patient.. you're crazy.. etc."

But one story that doesn't have anything to do with this particular time comes up and I'm wrong for giving him a chance to prove himself.. ?? But I thought I was suppose to be patient.. relax.. give him a chance..

The only reason the story about his DUI came up was because Impulsv said ask him how he would feel if he got "stood up" on a friday.. & I told her that it already happened but the other way around.. He told me he feels and felt bad.. and didn't want to lose me..

Even you, Mrs Baptist, with all the answers, aren't perfect.. I'm sure.

Where would you be without second chances? O_O

I don't need to justify my feeling for him being a good guy.. HE IS.

I could tell you why he is a good man but then why would it matter.. Ya'll will still find some way to make me WRONG.

He has a huge issue with emotions, expressing himself and communication to let me know when he can't do something.

Don't most Caps?

I've been stood up once.. In the beginning.. It took him a while to "win" me back as I said.. He had some proving to do that he was gonna do better from then on.. He HAS! & His stupidity having a few drinks then driving right after, (admit most of us at 1 point in life drive under the influence of drinks..) & he got pulled over by police (BTW, Do you ever know when you'll get pulled over?) This situation was avoidable.. BUT out of his control.. So he sat in jail.. I was upset that I didn't see him.. Mad about him drinking before coming to see me.. But he was on his way to meet me before getting antagonized by the police.... He had no way to contact me..

A known fact is that if you get locked up on a Friday (it was Friday then).. you have to spend the weekend in jail before the next business day which is Monday.. Did he have any control over that? NO.. It's Law.. He doesn't get a pass because he doesn't wanna stand up his date..

Trust me.. I analyzed all this in my mind.. And decided to give him a chance..

He deserved it..

Now, what I need him to work on in the present, is making sure that if he says he is gonna do something, & he can't keep his word.. DUE TO WORK... To be communicative AND let me know. Simple.

Posted by Evoxxxscorpio
Posted by poison_ivy
Posted by Evoxxxscorpio
Posted by poison_ivy
Posted by cheekyfaerie
Posted by poison_ivy
Posted by cheekyfaerie
Ya know it's serious when she busts out words like "conducive".

Didn't read all the responses, so disregard if someone else brought it up, but...

You robbed yourself of an apology when you jumped on his ass at 0400.

He's a grown ass man. He knew what he told you he'd do and he knew he didn't do it. He knows that's worth an apology, without you nagging him. Now you'll never know if he was going to apologize or if he didn't deem it worthy of one.

Calm your tits next time. It's in your best interest.



Calm my tits... after the 30th time of him doing this to wait for an apology I never got before... to move on like butter ain't important... & like he ain't do nothing wrong?

Nope.. Not this time.


So this is habit?

I can't imagine nagging is going to make communication better. Are things good in other areas? Sometimes you have to pick your battles, but if he all around sucks at being a boyfriend, it's time to question what you're getting out of this and whether it's worth it.

If this is the one area he lacks, you should evaluate why it's such a stickler for you. Are your expectations too high? Are you making him pay for someone else's mistakes? Etc.


Yes, this particular situation has been a habit for him..

He'll say he's gonna call me, or even come see me.. & then he doesn't call.. or he waits til the next day after he was suppose to be with me to say "This & that happened, sorry I couldn't come"... I hate being let down.. without a word.. If it only happened once.. Then no big deal.. BUT it's def happened more than 10 times. & my point is that, There is no way in hell that you can't find the time to text a quick message saying, I know I said this.. But something came up.. Let's do this tomorrow or reschedule. I'm understanding as I said in my post earlier... I have a lot of PM's with woman and men on here that say I am patient.. understanding.. strong.. with him when we have little chats about our situations.. This situation where I blew up was one because it's been a situation that has been discussed once.. (I never nagged after the first time.. ) I let it go.. brushed it under the rug..

This time since it was discussing our progression and what we want to do about our distance and us being busy and our timing.. Making this work.. Because feelings are getting stronger and the distance SUCKS, I looked forward to that convo.. Because we both struggle with being in a LDR.. But it didn't seem as important as he made it. That's just my opinion. I would have been okay to tyalk about it at a later time if he couldn't but why not take a few minutes to give me a heads up.. Like sorry can't do this tonight.. I would have been okay with that.

& Again, I definitely have more positives to say about this man.. He's everything I could ask for..

But in my past relationships.. I shut down.. kept my mouth closed about my issues.. I was afraid to speak up because I didn't want the guy to "leave me".. So I pleased him.. Never happy deep down.. Brushed everything under the rug until at some point I resented the person I was with because I lost myself.. & in the end I lost hope.. & I eventually left them. & I'm not talking short relationships.. Years & years of dealing with mess and I had NO voice. That's a waste of time, IMO.. & If I'm gonna waste my time with someone I wanna spend that time happy..

So..
I told myself the next time I'm with someone.. I wanna be heard too.. I want my little needs met. I'm VERY easy to please.. & very giving.. so I desire the same in return.. I'm worth it.

Not making him pay for anything.. If anything he's way better than my ex..

Me & my ex constantly fought.. Yelled, screamed.. & most of the yelling was my ex.. LOL! a man.. I shut down alot. He was very manipulative..& more.. So my Caps calm way of approaching situations is settling for me.. I like it.. We always speak patiently to each other when we're together about something we have an issue with.. Trust me he dishes it.. he just can't take it.. But we are Calm Debaters.. This time.. LOL! I wasn't so calm.


lol just take it like this they're softies that's why they shut.


LOL!!!

If this situation were vice versa.. LOL! I'd still be wrong! O_O


lol I already told you what I'd do but people will call it manipulation lol
click to expand


LMAO! Anything we do (scorpios) is wrong..

Posted by Impulsv
No this isn't little butter this is big
Why do u put up with it? Scorpios are too forgiving always giving the benefit of the doubt. But he's done it many times
Why ? That doesn't matter he is not that man
Ur expectations are normal he just can't meet them
Any one here who says that leaving ur partner hanging on dates n calls is ok ,well when it happens to them...


I ask myself this all the time.. Give up.. But most of this is due to work.. So I give that a slip..

The one time I was stood up for a date.. I didn't accept that.. he had to "win" me back... I didn't accept the apology as easy but eventually I did.. That was in the beginning.. He got a second try because he said he wanted to make it work.. do the right thing..

But no one knows this.. until I bring it up.. about the night he went to jail for a DUI.. Then I'm okay to go off? lol WHy couldn't it be okay to go off because he left me hanging for a call??

But like you said they want me to give passes to no calls no shows.. Not go off, like I did.. Until it happens to them.. This is why he got the text..

& I didn't accept it.. & he doesn't have too long to do this.. Scorpios will give ppl a chance to prove themselves.. No one is perfect specially because this is about communication, other than that he tries his best.. and is a good man.. I won't take that back.. but Scorpios aren't easy to forgive.. His chance is running short.
Posted by Evoxxxscorpio
Posted by poison_ivy
Posted by Evoxxxscorpio
Posted by poison_ivy
Posted by Evoxxxscorpio
Posted by poison_ivy
Posted by Evoxxxscorpio
Posted by CAPR1LICIOUS
Posted by poison_ivy
Posted by CAPR1LICIOUS
Posted by poison_ivy
@CAPR1LICIOUS

Exactly.. I expect basic courtesy from anyone that's apart of my life.. If they say they are going to do something, and can't, no worries, just give me a heads up.. Not leaving me hanging to wonder.. & Right away when you said you would do said thing.. Not wait days later.. to say, "hey I couldn't do what I said I would do.." Then it's like well DUH! lol It looks like you don't care when you "forget" someone.. & I'm sorry but I don't wanna feel that my boyfriend doesn't care.. Im sure he does but he should put himself in my shoes.. I admit, if I read my text that I sent him early this morning, I would have been upset.. but understood and apologetic because I "left him hanging" if it were vice versa.. But he responded defensively which also leads me to believe that he know's he's wrong. You don't go to defense mode when you've done nothing wrong IMO.

I have a hard time taking people seriously who are unable to keep their word. I will not react, but it will cause me to be emotionally distant. No one wants to be taken for granted.

THE ABOVE is what i mean.. *CLAPS HANDS*

If you don't keep your word, how do you expect me to trust you? There's gonna be a time where I won't be able to take him seriously and in that instance, we have failed our relationship.

Lots of patience... O_O -woosahhhh!


Is that his only problem? The communication bit? Because, in all other aspects he seems like a great guy with values. Don't give up on him.




Yes that's my only BIG issue.. I appreciate you saying that! ☺️ & distance. He is a great guy.. just normal couple issues. πŸ˜•


I agree with you, Ivy. These are normal issues that most couples face. How you handle them depends on the two people involved.

You must know of a quote by Maya Angelou...



We often expect people to change, but that rarely happens, unless they realize it is something they want themselves. Through their actions, they are telling you what you should expect from them. That is their true nature. It's who they are.

Once you realize you can't change them though, it takes away a lot of the stress. I just mentioned this so it can help you relax. Knowing you have no control over someone's actions can be so liberating.

You have expressed your concerns to him, and he knows what bothers you. Now it's completely up to him to decide what he wants to do with that information.


lol it's either you accept the flaws or you don't. But me I just sit, relax and eat my popcorn 🍿




Pfffttttt.....

Can I join you?


Lol that sofa is big enough for two


It is.. scooch over!


Lol you hurt his feelings so he need some alone time.


bwahahaha

He always does this..

He dishes it..

When he's wrong and I dish it.. he crawls up in his shell.. LOL! SO wrong!


lol I though scorps were sensitive but gotdamn caps are worst.
click to expand


No.. they just THINK they have a better way of "hiding" their sensitivities..
Posted by Evoxxxscorpio
Posted by poison_ivy
Posted by cheekyfaerie
Posted by poison_ivy
Posted by cheekyfaerie
Ya know it's serious when she busts out words like "conducive".

Didn't read all the responses, so disregard if someone else brought it up, but...

You robbed yourself of an apology when you jumped on his ass at 0400.

He's a grown ass man. He knew what he told you he'd do and he knew he didn't do it. He knows that's worth an apology, without you nagging him. Now you'll never know if he was going to apologize or if he didn't deem it worthy of one.

Calm your tits next time. It's in your best interest.



Calm my tits... after the 30th time of him doing this to wait for an apology I never got before... to move on like butter ain't important... & like he ain't do nothing wrong?

Nope.. Not this time.


So this is habit?

I can't imagine nagging is going to make communication better. Are things good in other areas? Sometimes you have to pick your battles, but if he all around sucks at being a boyfriend, it's time to question what you're getting out of this and whether it's worth it.

If this is the one area he lacks, you should evaluate why it's such a stickler for you. Are your expectations too high? Are you making him pay for someone else's mistakes? Etc.


Yes, this particular situation has been a habit for him..

He'll say he's gonna call me, or even come see me.. & then he doesn't call.. or he waits til the next day after he was suppose to be with me to say "This & that happened, sorry I couldn't come"... I hate being let down.. without a word.. If it only happened once.. Then no big deal.. BUT it's def happened more than 10 times. & my point is that, There is no way in hell that you can't find the time to text a quick message saying, I know I said this.. But something came up.. Let's do this tomorrow or reschedule. I'm understanding as I said in my post earlier... I have a lot of PM's with woman and men on here that say I am patient.. understanding.. strong.. with him when we have little chats about our situations.. This situation where I blew up was one because it's been a situation that has been discussed once.. (I never nagged after the first time.. ) I let it go.. brushed it under the rug..

This time since it was discussing our progression and what we want to do about our distance and us being busy and our timing.. Making this work.. Because feelings are getting stronger and the distance SUCKS, I looked forward to that convo.. Because we both struggle with being in a LDR.. But it didn't seem as important as he made it. That's just my opinion. I would have been okay to tyalk about it at a later time if he couldn't but why not take a few minutes to give me a heads up.. Like sorry can't do this tonight.. I would have been okay with that.

& Again, I definitely have more positives to say about this man.. He's everything I could ask for..

But in my past relationships.. I shut down.. kept my mouth closed about my issues.. I was afraid to speak up because I didn't want the guy to "leave me".. So I pleased him.. Never happy deep down.. Brushed everything under the rug until at some point I resented the person I was with because I lost myself.. & in the end I lost hope.. & I eventually left them. & I'm not talking short relationships.. Years & years of dealing with mess and I had NO voice. That's a waste of time, IMO.. & If I'm gonna waste my time with someone I wanna spend that time happy..

So..
I told myself the next time I'm with someone.. I wanna be heard too.. I want my little needs met. I'm VERY easy to please.. & very giving.. so I desire the same in return.. I'm worth it.

Not making him pay for anything.. If anything he's way better than my ex..

Me & my ex constantly fought.. Yelled, screamed.. & most of the yelling was my ex.. LOL! a man.. I shut down alot. He was very manipulative..& more.. So my Caps calm way of approaching situations is settling for me.. I like it.. We always speak patiently to each other when we're together about something we have an issue with.. Trust me he dishes it.. he just can't take it.. But we are Calm Debaters.. This time.. LOL! I wasn't so calm.


lol just take it like this they're softies that's why they shut.
click to expand


LOL!!!

If this situation were vice versa.. LOL! I'd still be wrong! O_O