Posted by alexscaries

Posted by Scotteh007

Posted by alexscaries

Posted by Scotteh007
Ty for all the support here.
Todays interaction was weird.
We deliver packages. Sometimes people are put on pure rescue (they dont get a route, instead take totes off others)
She was put on rescue. Wasnt expecting it, usually dispatch sends me a text if Im being rescued.

Me "You're rescueing me?" jokingly
Her "No I just found you here" (possibly referring to how I found her tiktok without her telling me her username)
I show her the rest of my route, cause she rather pick and choose what she wants to deliver
I apologize cause I go in like shy mode, saying my emotions have been all over the place lately.
Then shes like "they have been putting me on rescue lately, they must like me. (Possibly because I told her I like her?)
Me- I....They put on rescue a lot lately too, they must like me too.

Idk if this meant anything. After all she said lately it shouldn't. I wish I could explain it better.
Or im just fishing real hard for reasons to stay attached
She seems to be avoiding me at work lately.
But im sorry this kind of playful behavior is hot to me.

Most of it is what you don't say. I've had banal conversations, but we've both had our treetrunk goggles on.

I think if you keep getting friendzoned and you want more then that's something to work on.

Okay so how do I like her and be her friend without hurting myself? Cause thats I would like to do I think.

Total detachment. Do you still want her as a friend if you can't have more?

click to expand

Idk. The only way ive actually gotten over anyone is to completely cut them out of my life. Then that may take years of no contact. Then we may just be aquitences or just not talk ever again. Cant really do this at work unless I get a new job.

Im going to the west side of the us to see a friend for a week so hopefully that will clear the mind

Posted by alexscaries

Posted by Scotteh007
Ty for all the support here.
Todays interaction was weird.
We deliver packages. Sometimes people are put on pure rescue (they dont get a route, instead take totes off others)
She was put on rescue. Wasnt expecting it, usually dispatch sends me a text if Im being rescued.

Me "You're rescueing me?" jokingly
Her "No I just found you here" (possibly referring to how I found her tiktok without her telling me her username)
I show her the rest of my route, cause she rather pick and choose what she wants to deliver
I apologize cause I go in like shy mode, saying my emotions have been all over the place lately.
Then shes like "they have been putting me on rescue lately, they must like me. (Possibly because I told her I like her?)
Me- I....They put on rescue a lot lately too, they must like me too.

Idk if this meant anything. After all she said lately it shouldn't. I wish I could explain it better.
Or im just fishing real hard for reasons to stay attached
She seems to be avoiding me at work lately.
But im sorry this kind of playful behavior is hot to me.

Most of it is what you don't say. I've had banal conversations, but we've both had our treetrunk goggles on.

I think if you keep getting friendzoned and you want more then that's something to work on.

click to expand

Okay so how do I like her and be her friend without hurting myself? Cause thats I would like to do I think.

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by Scotteh007

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by Scotteh007

Posted by saggurl88
Was what wrong of you? Pretending to be her friend?

Depends on if you regret being her friend after she’s friendzoned you for so long.

I dont understand...we talked about literally anything and I was okay with it. Her exs to heck whenever she was on the rag. I feel like I might of helped her get over some things she had going on.

Do I regret it? No. I feel like I can communicate better with other people in my life.

Is it weird now? Yeah kinda but I feel like I learned a lot.

"Do I regret it? No. I feel like I can communicate better with other people in my life.
Is it weird now? Yeah kinda but I feel like I learned a lot."
^^this right here, you are learning from interacting with her this way. If she really is your type, you are learning a lot about your type without the pressures associated with dating.
Even better your learning to interact with a woman in a everyday manner that will be very good experience for when you get in a long term relationship and the romantic stuff cools off and your spending a lot of time together. For lack of better phrasing it "demystifies" the opposite sex.
As for the weird part, it takes some getting use to, it's not socially common. You are use to treating them and talking to them to pursue. That's takes some time getting use to not doing that.
Just keep your boundries up and remember you are just friends. Meaning your obligations don't extent beyond that. Don't start acting like a boyfriend, hitting on her, or allowing her put the same obligations on you as a boyfriend would have. Biology will rear it's ugly head from time to time. That's just something you got to learn to deal with as a gut in general.

Honestly a lot of people including myself prefer to be friends first. My personal philosophy as a man with female friends is: " If I like you then I like you. if we will not work out romantically I get a friend out of it."
Like I mentioned above one of the benifits of taking it slow from the fried zone is...tons of experience without the train wreck relationship history. It was not my intention to do this at first now I actively follow this approach.
On the bright side, I have close friends I can get advice from about woman and have a greater understanding then the majority of men out there.
I know what I want and need in a partner too without learning the hard way. I'm confidant I can make any relationship I choose to have a successful one.

So ya good on you for seeing the

"If I like you then I like you. if we will not work out romantically I get a friend out of it"
Uh yeah... I have a problem. This has happened before. It gotten so bad after telling me no she started climging onto other people to try to get the point in my head.
That hurt a lot.

She would not do that intentional unless you really were not getting the message in her eye, ad in you didn't change your behavior. It's a common passive aggressive tactic. Usually they try that first before ghosting you.
Another is avoiding being alone with you or in any situation that could be consider a romantic thing.

click to expand

Not the same person. Past situation Should of clarified that. Sorry

Posted by Lostthoughts
The user who posted this message has hidden it.

If you are serious about wanting help, you have to be honest even if it hurts. Rip the band aid off or let it fester and hold you back. Your choice dude.

Hidden posts are accidental double posts

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by Scotteh007

Posted by saggurl88
Was what wrong of you? Pretending to be her friend?

Depends on if you regret being her friend after she’s friendzoned you for so long.

I dont understand...we talked about literally anything and I was okay with it. Her exs to heck whenever she was on the rag. I feel like I might of helped her get over some things she had going on.

Do I regret it? No. I feel like I can communicate better with other people in my life.

Is it weird now? Yeah kinda but I feel like I learned a lot.

"Do I regret it? No. I feel like I can communicate better with other people in my life.
Is it weird now? Yeah kinda but I feel like I learned a lot."
^^this right here, you are learning from interacting with her this way. If she really is your type, you are learning a lot about your type without the pressures associated with dating.
Even better your learning to interact with a woman in a everyday manner that will be very good experience for when you get in a long term relationship and the romantic stuff cools off and your spending a lot of time together. For lack of better phrasing it "demystifies" the opposite sex.
As for the weird part, it takes some getting use to, it's not socially common. You are use to treating them and talking to them to pursue. That's takes some time getting use to not doing that.
Just keep your boundries up and remember you are just friends. Meaning your obligations don't extent beyond that. Don't start acting like a boyfriend, hitting on her, or allowing her put the same obligations on you as a boyfriend would have. Biology will rear it's ugly head from time to time. That's just something you got to learn to deal with as a gut in general.

Honestly a lot of people including myself prefer to be friends first. My personal philosophy as a man with female friends is: " If I like you then I like you. if we will not work out romantically I get a friend out of it."
Like I mentioned above one of the benifits of taking it slow from the fried zone is...tons of experience without the train wreck relationship history. It was not my intention to do this at first now I actively follow this approach.
On the bright side, I have close friends I can get advice from about woman and have a greater understanding then the majority of men out there.
I know what I want and need in a partner too without learning the hard way. I'm confidant I can make any relationship I choose to have a successful one.

So ya good on you for seeing the

click to expand

"If I like you then I like you. if we will not work out romantically I get a friend out of it"
Uh yeah... I have a problem. This has happened before. It gotten so bad after telling me no she started climging onto other people to try to get the point in my head.
That hurt a lot.

Ty for all the support here.
Todays interaction was weird.
We deliver packages. Sometimes people are put on pure rescue (they dont get a route, instead take totes off others)
She was put on rescue. Wasnt expecting it, usually dispatch sends me a text if Im being rescued.

Me "You're rescueing me?" jokingly
Her "No I just found you here" (possibly referring to how I found her tiktok without her telling me her username)
I show her the rest of my route, cause she rather pick and choose what she wants to deliver
I apologize cause I go in like shy mode, saying my emotions have been all over the place lately.
Then shes like "they have been putting me on rescue lately, they must like me. (Possibly because I told her I like her?)
Me- I....They put on rescue a lot lately too, they must like me too.

Idk if this meant anything. After all she said lately it shouldn't. I wish I could explain it better.
Or im just fishing real hard for reasons to stay attached
She seems to be avoiding me at work lately.
But im sorry this kind of playful behavior is hot to me.

Well...i never explained to her why I didn't really want to talk even at work. I said id rather not unless she changed her mind on things, let me know.

Posted by alexscaries
You sound like a good person. If a girl is talking about her ex she isn't over him.

Covid 2020 was pretty terrible for a lot of people. Not a reason not to date someone in my opinion, unless they have covid of course. You probably moved too quickly. Girls need comfort and trust before making a move.

It's difficult, but you are trying. I wouldn't bother wasting time trying to make her your girlfriend. If you are truly happy being just friends stick with it, if not break it off.

She talked with all her exs with me. Even one from middle school. Hasnt been in many relationships. Sounds like got out of a back to back 8-6 year relationships
Idk if I can. I have truely never gotten over anyone I liked or dated unless I completely cut her off. Which could be easy buttt we work together. Not the full day. We have a short meeting before we go on the rd in the morning. Then the off chance i might see her at night.

Told me we should cut back on talking. But stay work budfies so it isnt weird...well I already told her I didn't even want to do that because I was afraid of the statement ubove.
And now its weird
I felt like we had the most communication ive had with someone

Posted by Truemara
She means sometimes relationships start as friends
Have you noticed if she has changed her stance

Not at that particular moment of time. It all seemed to change when she was talking about cute clothes she was buying her self. Probably about the third time saying this (not the same day) I decided to ask "you keep talking about cute clothes, i want to see. Then she said she had lacy clothes.
She teased me about lacy clothed for a bit. Didnt show me pics or anything.

Most recently I told her that one of her tik toks were hot and she didn't seem to take it that well at all. And yeah, were not following each other anymore.

She told me I was getting too attached

It just reallly seemed like things were trying to get too serious for her.

Posted by saggurl88
Was what wrong of you? Pretending to be her friend?

Depends on if you regret being her friend after she’s friendzoned you for so long.

I dont understand...we talked about literally anything and I was okay with it. Her exs to heck whenever she was on the rag. I feel like I might of helped her get over some things she had going on.

Do I regret it? No. I feel like I can communicate better with other people in my life.

Is it weird now? Yeah kinda but I feel like I learned a lot.

I asked a girl out in Feb because I thought her voice was cute (We were all behind masks all the time cause covid.) She said she just wanted to be friends cause 2020 was the worst year. I agreed to be just friends. Decided to put my feelings in the way back of my head. It worked for a while until now. Feelings just got stronger the more I got to know her.

Was that wrong of me?

Hey I have a question about Leos but ima DM about it

Okay so.....were still talking.
But anyway I feel like I only attract ppl like this
Different situation
For instance my roomate gave me a 50 ticket to come with him to a party called burbon fest. It was with him, a coworker of his and other people, trying out burbon.
Im not a social person. Especially with ppl i dont know but I did good today.
I got to know one person in the group. And a potential job offer woo because they're looking for a IT guy . She was a cute redheaded lady. Probablem was her friend (a guy) was all over her (she even came to me and told me that it was kinda awkward because she used to babysit him and it was appearent she didnt like him that way, but she kept going with it)
I inadvertently got her number when she lost her phone and I offered to call it
Idk if I even should try to contact her

My roomate got along with this one chick really good but has low self esteem. He didnt get her number and is now kicking himself in his teeth. She works with the redheaded lady. I found that lady on facebook. Not sure if I should help him out or not. Or would it be weird for him to even try to contact her in the first place. She was really into him.
Im just indecisive if I should be a bro and try to help him out or not. Or like hes 28 and shouldn't need any help.

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Scotteh007
Girl messaged me today seeming desperate to get out of her relationship. Sounds like she lives with her current bf and mom and things haven't been going great since September. She currently relies on them because her car is crap.
I thought she was cute in highschool but I dont think ive seen her since we graduated in 2009...
Should I...
1. Find a day to hang out/ catch up on life and see what happens from there
2. Avoid that situation like the plauge

You haven’t SEEN her since 2009 AND she found you to ask about that?
Think. wTF???

click to expand

We have talked to each other in the past over Facebook about anxiety and such once in a while.
But thats about it.
I knew everyone was going to go for 2 lol.

Girl messaged me today seeming desperate to get out of her relationship. Sounds like she lives with her current bf and mom and things haven't been going great since September. She currently relies on them because her car is crap.
I thought she was cute in highschool but I dont think ive seen her since we graduated in 2009...
Should I...
1. Find a day to hang out/ catch up on life and see what happens from there
2. Avoid that situation like the plauge

Posted by UnusualVaginalDischarge
Well good luck in your endeavors. You never grow of you don’t take risks

Thank you, you're totally right. I play it safe wayy too much.

So I've been living with my mom for a while now, due to the fact that my last roomate was crap and couldn't find another roomate in time. Recently a opportunity came up and a friend needs a roomate and decided to take that. Bad side is that makes my job an hour drive away (And well I'm still in college Until spring semester next year in my current town.) but I feel like that will make me more open to getting a new job in the city I will be living in since I actually will be living in that city.


My moms against it well because mainly because she'll be living alone, suffers from major anxiety (Which gives me a butter ton of stress that I don't need) and is coming up with every excuse in the book for me to not go.)

My dad on the other side doesn't really like the idea since I don't have a job there.

I myself think its a great idea because I feel the need to be more independent anyway, plus I think it should open me up for new job opportunities and probably a better chance of me getting a girlfriend since I wouldn't be living with my parents.

Since I've been living with mom for a while I've saved enough money up to make a choice like this.
I feel both parents are going to be negative about me moving away (Its only an hour away...) and it wouldn't matter who I would be living with.

Blah

Honestly I hate doing this but I compare myself to my friends a lot. And compared to them my progress is super slow.
My highschool friends (That I still contact)
One didn't even try to go to college at all, works two jobs, has a nice townhouse and has a girlfriend that lives an hour away from me now.
Another one has a family, got their certificate in college but didn't do anything with it. Works at a factory. Has a nice house.
Both are 27, a year younger than me.

Another friends circle: (Who also live an hour away)
Most of them (Ages 22-24) Already got their associates in whatever they're going for and getting their bachelors. Living with parents/other family Working part time jobs.
And then a 27 yr old thats been to a couple jobs, no college experience, been living with friends.

I either moved out of my parents house a little before I was 18 or afterwards I can't remember now. Started working full time right after high school. (2009) Started working on my certificate. That was a run around due to the college giving me a schedule that wasn't complete. Didn't know that until it was too late. So had to drop out of a class that I wasn't attending. Finally got my certifcate in 2013

2015 (Or so I can't even remember when I exactly started) I started working on my associates at a technical college. I got pretty far and good grades. I think I was about a semester or two before I would have graduated. Then it closed down. Instead of transferring and doing online classes (Never took any, didn't want to.) I got my credits refunded and I didn't have to pay for any of that.

All this time I've been moving to a lot of different friends houses Some with their parents, some not. Eventually moving in back with my mom because things just don't work out after a while.

2017 (Fall) started again to work on my associates and been working on that.
All this time I've been at my same job (First job) since I was 18, working full time. I've watched a car business get bigger and actually become a dealership with a lot more employees than it used to be. In that time I had maybe like 3 raises. The first one a two dollar raise, a 25 cent raise. Then a $ 1.25 raise somewhere around last September.
And then finally being laid off as of last Wednesday a long with a couple other employees. With no return date. Due to very slow sales. They also dropped 3 other employees. One being a sales manager.
I still have a couple things stored at that dealership, that they haven't called me about yet. Like some appliances and a car.
Since then I've put like 6 applications but with no call back.

Would like to just get my associates and find a job after that. But I have like 2 possibly 3 more semesters. I can't wait that long being unemployed though.

So with all of that....Am I successful?