Okay so.....were still talking.
But anyway I feel like I only attract ppl like this
Different situation
For instance my roomate gave me a 50 ticket to come with him to a party called burbon fest. It was with him, a coworker of his and other people, trying out burbon.
Im not a social person. Especially with ppl i dont know but I did good today.
I got to know one person in the group. And a potential job offer woo because they're looking for a IT guy . She was a cute redheaded lady. Probablem was her friend (a guy) was all over her (she even came to me and told me that it was kinda awkward because she used to babysit him and it was appearent she didnt like him that way, but she kept going with it)
I inadvertently got her number when she lost her phone and I offered to call it
Idk if I even should try to contact her

My roomate got along with this one chick really good but has low self esteem. He didnt get her number and is now kicking himself in his teeth. She works with the redheaded lady. I found that lady on facebook. Not sure if I should help him out or not. Or would it be weird for him to even try to contact her in the first place. She was really into him.
Im just indecisive if I should be a bro and try to help him out or not. Or like hes 28 and shouldn't need any help.

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Scotteh007
Girl messaged me today seeming desperate to get out of her relationship. Sounds like she lives with her current bf and mom and things haven't been going great since September. She currently relies on them because her car is crap.
I thought she was cute in highschool but I dont think ive seen her since we graduated in 2009...
Should I...
1. Find a day to hang out/ catch up on life and see what happens from there
2. Avoid that situation like the plauge

You haven’t SEEN her since 2009 AND she found you to ask about that?
Think. wTF???

click to expand

We have talked to each other in the past over Facebook about anxiety and such once in a while.
But thats about it.
I knew everyone was going to go for 2 lol.

Girl messaged me today seeming desperate to get out of her relationship. Sounds like she lives with her current bf and mom and things haven't been going great since September. She currently relies on them because her car is crap.
I thought she was cute in highschool but I dont think ive seen her since we graduated in 2009...
Should I...
1. Find a day to hang out/ catch up on life and see what happens from there
2. Avoid that situation like the plauge

Posted by UnusualVaginalDischarge
Well good luck in your endeavors. You never grow of you don’t take risks

Thank you, you're totally right. I play it safe wayy too much.

So I've been living with my mom for a while now, due to the fact that my last roomate was crap and couldn't find another roomate in time. Recently a opportunity came up and a friend needs a roomate and decided to take that. Bad side is that makes my job an hour drive away (And well I'm still in college Until spring semester next year in my current town.) but I feel like that will make me more open to getting a new job in the city I will be living in since I actually will be living in that city.


My moms against it well because mainly because she'll be living alone, suffers from major anxiety (Which gives me a butter ton of stress that I don't need) and is coming up with every excuse in the book for me to not go.)

My dad on the other side doesn't really like the idea since I don't have a job there.

I myself think its a great idea because I feel the need to be more independent anyway, plus I think it should open me up for new job opportunities and probably a better chance of me getting a girlfriend since I wouldn't be living with my parents.

Since I've been living with mom for a while I've saved enough money up to make a choice like this.
I feel both parents are going to be negative about me moving away (Its only an hour away...) and it wouldn't matter who I would be living with.

Blah

Honestly I hate doing this but I compare myself to my friends a lot. And compared to them my progress is super slow.
My highschool friends (That I still contact)
One didn't even try to go to college at all, works two jobs, has a nice townhouse and has a girlfriend that lives an hour away from me now.
Another one has a family, got their certificate in college but didn't do anything with it. Works at a factory. Has a nice house.
Both are 27, a year younger than me.

Another friends circle: (Who also live an hour away)
Most of them (Ages 22-24) Already got their associates in whatever they're going for and getting their bachelors. Living with parents/other family Working part time jobs.
And then a 27 yr old thats been to a couple jobs, no college experience, been living with friends.

I either moved out of my parents house a little before I was 18 or afterwards I can't remember now. Started working full time right after high school. (2009) Started working on my certificate. That was a run around due to the college giving me a schedule that wasn't complete. Didn't know that until it was too late. So had to drop out of a class that I wasn't attending. Finally got my certifcate in 2013

2015 (Or so I can't even remember when I exactly started) I started working on my associates at a technical college. I got pretty far and good grades. I think I was about a semester or two before I would have graduated. Then it closed down. Instead of transferring and doing online classes (Never took any, didn't want to.) I got my credits refunded and I didn't have to pay for any of that.

All this time I've been moving to a lot of different friends houses Some with their parents, some not. Eventually moving in back with my mom because things just don't work out after a while.

2017 (Fall) started again to work on my associates and been working on that.
All this time I've been at my same job (First job) since I was 18, working full time. I've watched a car business get bigger and actually become a dealership with a lot more employees than it used to be. In that time I had maybe like 3 raises. The first one a two dollar raise, a 25 cent raise. Then a $ 1.25 raise somewhere around last September.
And then finally being laid off as of last Wednesday a long with a couple other employees. With no return date. Due to very slow sales. They also dropped 3 other employees. One being a sales manager.
I still have a couple things stored at that dealership, that they haven't called me about yet. Like some appliances and a car.
Since then I've put like 6 applications but with no call back.

Would like to just get my associates and find a job after that. But I have like 2 possibly 3 more semesters. I can't wait that long being unemployed though.

So with all of that....Am I successful?

Posted by elllle

Posted by Scotteh007
Kinda hard to make new friends at this age.
Forcing things. I think I've heard that from someone so its most likely true.

I've read on a website that said I had some kind of aspect with the description.. something like I can't tell between someone being plainly platonic vs sexual opportunity.
Something like that. I don't remember what website it was.
All I know is cafe astrology but it wasn't that one.

If you know of any different ones please tell me. I like reading what aspects I have.

Astro.com has a nice one for beginners...

Horoscopes>Astroclick Portrait

You touch the different planets, aspects and houses and it gives you the detail.

click to expand

Ahhh thank you! I love reading about it so much
Like Mercury Square Saturn
Talks about how I tend to get overwhelmed and depressed by the seriousness of the world.
Kinda like watching the news.
Explains how I don't pay attention to it at all and how it annoys me that moms watching it every day.

Kinda hard to make new friends at this age.
Forcing things. I think I've heard that from someone so its most likely true.

I've read on a website that said I had some kind of aspect with the description.. something like I can't tell between someone being plainly platonic vs sexual opportunity.
Something like that. I don't remember what website it was.
All I know is cafe astrology but it wasn't that one.

If you know of any different ones please tell me. I like reading what aspects I have.

Posted by elllle
Dude....do you have some capricorn in your chart? If so, I want to slap you silly.

Please, just chill. You are trying too hard.

Yeah, sure do!
Saturn
Uranus
Neptune
ASC

What does that mean? I don't know much about astrology but I have all the time in the world to learn for the moment!
If you lived by me, I'd probably let you slap me. Because I probably deserve it.

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Scotteh007

Posted by LadyNeptune
"I'm not trying to control anything. I'm not trying to sound like an ass. I just want everyone to have fun when we all hang out.

So basically I said something in the group chat about it yesterday. They said we can talk in person next time we see each other. Because texting over it can lead into miscommuication."



Sitting everyone down to have a talk about how they have to make you feel the fun is literally the best and fastest way to kill fun.

Lighten up.

If you feel awkward in the group cause your shy and introverted, thats on you.

Work on yourself.

This is a you problem. Not a them problem.

Yeah that why I said I wasn't blaming them entirely. You're probably right.
Im going to stop drinking pop for a start.
I know caffeine doesn't help at all.

Maybe focus on hanging out with these people more one on one so that when you are in a group environment your part of the conversation.

It can be awkward/annoying if everyone is sloppy drunk and your the only one sober.

click to expand

I wasn't sober at that party. We don't usually have parties like that anymore that often. It used to be at friends apartment but her boyfriend didn't like it so it stopped there.
Hes an marker anyway. He doesn't talk to anyone in our friends group and is always jealous when she goes and hangs out with anyone it seems. Ironically shes the only one who has really hung out with me one on one. And is in a different friends circle of mine.
And is probably the only true friend out of the bunch because she talks to me more than anyone else.
Anyone else though seems like its group or nothing.

Posted by LadyNeptune
"I'm not trying to control anything. I'm not trying to sound like an ass. I just want everyone to have fun when we all hang out.

So basically I said something in the group chat about it yesterday. They said we can talk in person next time we see each other. Because texting over it can lead into miscommuication."



Sitting everyone down to have a talk about how they have to make you feel the fun is literally the best and fastest way to kill fun.

Lighten up.

If you feel awkward in the group cause your shy and introverted, thats on you.

Work on yourself.

This is a you problem. Not a them problem.

Yeah that why I said I wasn't blaming them entirely. You're probably right.
Im going to stop drinking pop for a start.
I know caffeine doesn't help at all.

Posted by Redbull
If its not your "scene" or whatever, one option is not to go/stay away from it. Not saying what you should do but I know when Im in uncomfortable environments...I try to stay away from them. May go to party somewhere once or whatever but if its not my scene, sometimes it feels better to...I know I feel relieved when I get away from certain circles. I realized it when I was younger hanging out. Ok now too many people have come around let me get away in low key way...ok did it Im in car by myself driving away whew what a relief.

Yeah thats why I don't go to random parties. I know everyone that I'm with. If I don't know anyone I'll just be uncomfortable feel awkward and be quiet.

Probably not important anymore since its looking like I might need to go out and find a new job.
Trying to get on unemployment was terrible today. You can't get through the website because its being updated (Probably because its a new year)
They had a number for our state. You call that, answer automated questions (Like 15 or 20 it felt like?) Then if you get to the end it just routes you to a message saying all the lines are busy, you don't get put on hold and it just clicks you.
Then going to the building (Its called Michigan Works here) I waited in a line for 2-3 hours. Finally get to a direct phone before the place closes. The internet goes out while I was on hold. That mean the phones are out too.

Posted by hydorah
I think you'll be a lot more accepted if you just cut your balls, you'll feel closer to the group. and you don't seem to need them anyway

And you're probably 46 and single.
If you're not going to provide anything helpful, get the treetrunk off here.

Look lol. Just got layed off work today too. So that sucks. Doesn't help my mood.
I'm not entitled to anything i know that. Its more about being open in the group. . Granted it takes long time for me to be open anyway since I'm super shy and reserved. I keep to myself way too much.
I don't like being like that. I'm not blaming it all on them. I need to be more extroverted and open.
And I was having fun at that party. At the end they one of them kept trying to offer me alcohol but others said I had to drive home. I even said I brought a pillow and blanket with me too.
I'm not trying to control anything. I'm not trying to sound like an ass. I just want everyone to have fun when we all hang out.
So please. All I'm doing is asking for advice.

Posted by tctaap

Posted by Scotteh007
Okay so this is me trying to write out what I think whats going wrong currently. I'm suppose to talk with my friends next time we hang out about it. So if I can write out my thoughts correctly I might be able to say what I need to say to the group so changes can be made and I can feel a lot more apart of my group.

Anyway at the last party:

Mainly it was me and 4 other girls.
The start of the party it almost felt like musical chairs. Every time I went to the bathroom and came back people were sitting in other spots. But the problem was every time I sat down by anyone, they stayed there for a few and got up and sat with someone else, leaving me by myself.
Anyway it pretty much ended up with all the girls sitting with each other while I was left out sitting alone. I almost felt like I wasn't really meant to be invited to that party, like it was meant for the girls to get drunk and mess around with each other. But thats like every party. They're all together. I'm left out sitting alone on the couch. Its not right.
Usually another couple is apart of this (They didn't come this time) and even the guy is usually apart of this girl thing sitting along with them and possibly doing whatever.
If all of the party is sitting being close with one another, everyone should be there. Not leaving certain people out.

I'm feeling like I'm being run over by girls. If you really want to use the term, like a beta male (I don't believe the alpha/beta bullbutter that is everyone spats out on this site)
So if the plan was to get drunk and mess around with each other. Everyone in the party should be included.
Part of it is I should change my own behavior and the group should change how they treat me.

So basically I said something in the group chat about it yesterday. They said we can talk in person next time we see each other. Because texting over it can lead into miscommuication. We usually hang out on Fridays.
Last time though one of my friends got pushed out of the group due to he was hitting on a girl that didn't want it (Shes in a relationship). They talked about like they were going to talk to him about it. But that never happened because no one wanted to confront him about it. So eventually it just ended up him not hanging out with the group anymore. He also had a girlfriend so that shouldn't of been happening in the first place.
So I'm hoping we actually talk about it instead of having the same butter happen to me.

stop hanging out with want to be friends but can't stop trying to cause drama and control

click to expand

I'm not trying to cause drama. There is enough of it in the group already.
I'm feeling like I'm being mistreated and left out. Because all they want to do is mess with each other. But not with me.
All it does it make me feel alone. They need to include me in the group.

Posted by LadyNeptune
You seem needy.

Uh how
Explain?