Yeah, I can see in retrospect how may that come across as bragging. Even though it was meant as a lament that I can never date in my age range.
Problem is the place I live in is full of 20 somethings. All the late 20 gals are snatched and thirtysomethings are married or single moms.
I am trying to move to a city that is more helpful in terms of being able to date 27-35.
But for now it is frustrating. Ive never returned any girl's interest that looks like she is under the age of 21.
But if it is 21 and she knows up front I am not looking for anything serious, I dont see the problem. Old enough to drink is old enough to think in my view I usually only go out with the fun loving party girl types since they are usually not seeking a commitment.
I'm very cautious in terms of using both condoms and spermicidal inserts. Having a unplanned pregnancy is my worst nightmare
If you asked me 5 years ago if I would even bother with a 22 yr old I would have said hell no. But then I moved here and desperation is high when living in a college town so :p
Dont worry guys I tell a girl if she wants to get serious that I never want kids so I dont waste her time.
Younger women have always been attracted to me instead of people my own age since i can remember. When i was in high school if i was a junior, it was the freshmen girls that were interested. If I was a college freshman it was the high school senior girls who liked me - (went to a small college in a small town if that helps) Now currently its 21-24 year olds
I remember I approached a girl who looked to be in my age group at a lounge She politely rejected me and laughed it off saying i was only 20 something years old. Told her my age and she still didnt believe me I showed her my id and she said it had to be fake since it was out of state (even though i just moved here at the toe)
I already resigned myself to the fact that if i get serious with a girl she will always be much younger than me. Women in my age group just want nothing to do with my babyface a--
I relate to that I took care of a relative for years and I have no interest in taking care of someone else.
Besides if people really did the homework on how bad climate change really is they wouldnt be having kids either.
The thing is I have been mistaken for being younger than I am since I was a teen My parents both have genetics where they looked younger than they were. I think what also played a factor is that I never was a drinker or smoker. Never did any drugs. Because all of that can cause your appearance to age faster as well
I still have a bit of a baby face so I can see why people think Im in my late 20's
I dont see the issue though as far as relationship with if a girl Im dating is from 27 and up and is cool about not having kids.
If you are going to date an old timer anyway, dont you want one who no baggage like prior marriages and no kids?
Look if I met an attractive 38 or 39 year old who has no kids, and she had her personal crap together, I would be trying like crazy to lock that down on exclusive contract
But the problem is women in that age range who are single dont exist in the place I live. And neither does single women in their early 30's They are all snatched up
So again I have to make due with what is out there.
Let me make this clear - no girl ever asks me. All they have to do is ask and I will be more than happy to disclose my age.
I wouldnt be upset if a single mom came out to me with having kids. But she has no right to be be upset if I told her I didnt want to get serious after that. Just like I couldnt be if a girl thought I was too old for her.
I am not against dating single moms if the kid is grown up and out of the house. But otherwise I am not interested in raising a family.
All these girls have to do ask me directly or have the "where is this going?" conversation I dont want to waste someones time for a serious relationship.
All it takes is just ask. I'm also up front with a girl if I dont think of them as long term relationship material if they want to get serious.
Im open to being in relationship with a younger woman provided she is at least 25 and up. And shows she is mature beyond her years on a emotional level.
As long as open communication is involved, then I feel like Im doing no harm here
Again, I am not roping anyone into anything. If they ask me I tell them. But for whatever reason I am not asked.
I dont feel I should volunteer my age unless that person wants to get serious. Then at tht apoint I will give full disclosure on age
@thatlibralife - LOL Yeah she is a unhappily married woman from what I know. I think there is slight resentment from her end on people who are my age that are single never been married and no kids. I just laughed it off but thought her line of thinking borders on ridiculous and resentful
I was having a discussion with a female co-worker about health and since I am in my late 30's I have to be more diligent in my regards to that.
She was shocked to find I was in my late 30's as according to her I look more like I am in my late 20s. She got into a deeper discussion and ask if I ever been married. Told her no.
Told her I am trying to date women in my age range but it is hard as most of them are already taken or single moms.
And that I tend to attract 20 something women when I have gone out in the day or at night rather than women my age.
She got nosier asking how do I handle my age since I am in my late 30's. Basically if I bring it up. I told her I dont unless I am asked. As until we have discussions about getting serious I dont feel it is an urgent thing
She said I should be transparent with the girl from the start since I am not on a dating app which lists age. Otherwise in her words "it's a bait and switch" that due to the fact I look younger I am misleading the women I date. As lot of women in their 20s may feel late 30's is too old for them
I feel I am doing nothing wrong as I will disclose my age if asked But since I am only casually dating I shouldnt have to volunteer that information unless again im asked or we are talking about getting serious.
Am I wrong? I cant control looking younger than I am and sure as hell aint going to wear a sign saying "over 30 and dirty"
I would love to date 30 something women if there were actual singles ones in my area . But there is not so I am making due with what I have which is mid late 20 somethings.
The reason I am so fired up btw is this thinking is prevalent when i meet people in social settings.
Ironically women in their late 20's seem to not be judgmental about it unlike the 30 something women I encountered
Good thing though lately is most women freak in disbelief instead where they find out I am about to hit 40 because of my appearance of looking like I am in my late 20's.
That is another problem that other people in my age group can identify with- looking young for your age and getting dismissed by people who are in that same range for dating because they think you're a 20 something.
Its a strange dating world to operate in where women your age make you feel like you're Mama June and 20 somethings make you feel like you're Ryan Gosling in terms of attraction.
Im still dumbfounded by the women who still are gung ho about having kids despite the fact that climate change is going to really screw us over in 20 years.
I thought I was the only sag mooner who seemed to be attracted to the cap moons. Until I saw this forum. I get along with them as I am half-introverted too. Maybe not all cap moons arent introverted but the ones Ive dealt with are at least mildly so
But in terms of dating the cap moon gals I've run into are either workaholics = (dont know how to balance work with personal life but still seek out relationships despite not fixing this flaw) or they are social climbers or gold diggers
IM NOT SAYING ALL CAP MOONS ARE LIKE WHAT I SAID BTW JUST MY EXPERIENCE.
Sorry for the caps but dont want to get lynched via misunderstanding
Its more out of snark than judgement. Just in the sense of if we're going to be judging, people that have been married multiple times who are non widowed are more ripe for scrutiny than someone who hasnt.
Im not going to next someone for having more than 1 marriage in their past. But I will be cautious towards committing to them And I dont think anyone can blame me for that
I just cant today. Good god, people bringing the stupid. Im 39 and never have been married. It's not because I am a commitment phobe or have unrealistic standards. I have been rebuilding my life financially these past 5 years after being economically drained from taking care of a parent.
I was at rock bottom financially and emotionally after they passed. It took me years to get to good place both financially and emotionally. Sorry if I dont want to be a K-Fed clone and scam off women. And not pull a Pete Davidson expecting women to be a personal rehab center.
That isnt the only reasons it's also not meeting anyone within my age group of 30's that are single with no kids. People man and the snap judgements they make.
Some of us dont treat marriage as a nice shiny accessory and want to make sure they are with the right person. There is nothing wrong being discerning.
Also I dont want kids and that cancels out half of females right there. People need to get to know someone before they make a snap judgment like a red flag. It is not black and white despite what media tells you
If we are going to talk about it, I'll tell you whats a red flag to me - someone that has been married more than once. To be clear, I am NOT talking about people who have been married once. Everybody can make a mistake marrying the wrong person the first time. But you expect that person to learn from their mistakes and be more cautious towards entering another marriage.
Let's say even if they got with a jerk or b---h the 2nd time around, that alone tells me they have no level of discernment and are impulsive. But these same dipsh-ts want to tell other people how to live in terms of getting married.
Sorry I dont have marital baggage and 3 baby mamas but I would rather be judged then sit there no peace of mind.
I have much respect for men and women who have never been married by my age. Our society's way of thinking is so f--ked
What I am about to say in the following post is racist, then you seriously have never worked in a service industry or customer support position.
Does anyone else on these forums deal with Indian customers on a semi-regular basis at their job? I've worked for 20 years in different areas of customer support/service. And 9 times out of 10, Indian customers are always a nightmare to deal with.
They make simple problems that can easily be resolved more complicated than they need to be. They ask for help, then get upset when you try to do so, because they just want to keep ranting. In 1% of my time working, have I had a positive experience in dealing with them.
Just the other day an indian guy was holding everyone up at the check out line yelling at the clerk that the special was for 50 cents off when the clerk showed him it was for 25 cents. He then yelled and berated him more after that. I came up to the counter and dropped 50 cents on it.
I told the guy i would pay for his item as he was holding up a long line of people and that I had to get somewhere. Then the guy said very angrily "never mind", paid for it and walked off in a huff
I hate generalizing, but it seems like their culture encourages rudeness, disrespect, and being difficult. What's going on here?
There is a difference between taking instagrams of yourself vs doing it every 5 minutes.
That's a turn off to me for potential relationships. Sorry but if you cant go 5 minutes without instagramming, I cant be in a relationship for that same amount of time as well due to that.
If things went well I would tell her im not looking for anything serious and to keep her options open.
But because I am much older than her she may see me as ltr material whereas I dont with her
The thing I've learned in the past with attractive women is even if you're up front about your intentions it goes in one ear and out the other. As it becomes this reverse psychology situation where you turn into a challenge.
Because they are used to guys chasing them for relationships. And when you have a guy who is relaxed and can care less, this is something new for them.
I am kind of skittish but at the same time if I am upfront about just wanting a cum fiesta that's on her if she gets attached.
But then I remember the gem moon together with the scorp sun and then I start to worry for my life...
I'm just curious if I should pull the trigger on this or put this back in the cabinet.
There is this girl she is 24 that I used to work with. She has a scorp sun, gem moon sag mars. Very attractive but at the time we worked together so I never gave it any thought. Although she made it clear she was attracted to me.
I've seen her around a couple times in town since she left my work. Still shows interest but I didnt do anything. One of the reasons being I am still looking for a new apartment.
But I could be getting close to getting one and was thinking of asking her out next time I saw her. But there are a couple of drawbacks, one she is insta-obsessed. Loves taking pictures of herself which I know she showed me her instagram once.
I dont see this being something I want to get serious with given her age. The other thing that makes me reluctant is the Gem moon she has. My experience in the past with gem mooners is they are super moody.
Coupled with her scorp sun,that could spell disaster even if I am just looking for a fwb situation. Anyone here have experiences with scorp with gem moons?
Normally I would leave it be, but the desire to get laid is getting worse, so my judgement is impaired at this point
Not older just age appropriate lol. Im in my late 30's and I feel skeeved out dating anyone under 25. I dont have an issue with a casual fling with an early 20's as long as the girl a) knows that is all it is ever going to be and b) has a comfortableness with sex (not frigid, high libido)
Santa Barbara is great for dating with guys who are in their 20's to 30 years old. But late 30's is when it looks creepy seriously dating a girl that is 21.
Have no apologies for just screwing as long as the girl is 21 and up. I have the philosophy if she is old enough to drink, shes old enough to think.
But late 20's like 27-29 I could maybe get serious with depending on the girl and her background
I love SB and am going to miss it. But SB is for when you have a long term relationship so you can live nicely and quietly,
Sb doesnt have it where i can date someone age appropriate and since the town only has early 20's women.
But I could never live in LA or LA County again. Just no way, nope, nope...
I live with 2 roommates and have been for the past 3 years.
But it is getting old and I am trying to find my own place. But if I dont by mid may I am leaving SB around June.
Its going to be hard to leave as sb is beautiful and safe provided you are away from downtown area.
But the dating scene here of being forced to date women in early 20's is not something I dont want to deal with anymore. i realize a single women in her 30's without kids is needle in a haystack territory here but i think there are better ratios for that elsewhere. And if not, then at least a gal that is very late 20's.
I am talking just from my experience as well as my roommate who works in an all female environment as well since he is a care giver for a company.
In my experience of working in mixed or male dominated offices I've never had to deal with passive aggressive behavior like this.
The past 5 years I have worked in all female offices and it is always the same pattern of abusive behavior.
My roommate's male co-worker was accused of sexual harrassment one day by a female co-worker one day. And my roommate witnessed it and told me there was no flirting on his male co-workers end, and was professional.
The female who accused the guy was interested in him prior but he is taken and he told her that.
Because her mother owns the caregiving company she went to her and explained the incident my roommate witnessed.
Her mother contacted my roommate and asked him what happened since he is a witness to the incident And he told her nothing happened.
The guy still got fired. As much as legit sexual harrassment happens in the work place, you also have opportunists who take advantage of that as well.
Im scared to have more than a one minute conversation with a woman at work by myself ,as i dont know if i may say something that bothers her and she goes behind my back to a manager instead of politely making me aware.
You cant believe a guy for being antisocial at work nowadays..
@arielle83 - I can believe it. I love that movie as well. Sigourney Weaver was hot when she was younger.
Found out she was a libra, and I laughed out loud.
I'll give you another bad experience that has made me not talk to women at work.
A couple of years ago I was working for an electric company. it was a really nie office. I got on well with everyone there. Talked to everyone on a daily basis.
There was this girl I worked with seemed nice. She one day mentioned a band she listen to that I liked as well. i love talking to other people about mutual favorite artists as well as music be it male or female.
So during breaks I was continuing the conversation. And then she gave me a vibe like she felt i was hitting on her and was being icy.
I immediately caught that sign and stopped talking to her. From that point on for the next few weeks other than a hello, I ignored her and talked to everyone else
She apparently took a hint that i wasnt trying to date her and started being nice to me again and initiate conversation.
I just want to scream to women at work that if a guys is friendly to EVERYONE and only makes friendly conversation at all times, he is not trying to bang you. God...