joined January 11, 2017
  • Posted by Bricks195
    Posted by Sweet_sassy

    I'm not an marker, so I'll respond to you respectfully.

    I don't think you need closure. I think that's a trap. You still have some residual feelings for him and things feel unfinished. You need to convince yourself that it really is over before you seek him out again to resolve this in your head and end up back with him.

    He sounds like jerk. Regardless of his personal problems, he should've had enough respect for you to treat you well. He didn't and got what he deserved.

    Let him go rot. You don't need that crap. Your kids don't need to see that crap. They don't need his acknowledgment. Best thing for you and your kids is probably to never have to deal with him again. Clean break.

    Thank you for your respectful response. I appreciate that. There's so much more to the story but there's only so much I can write here without it turning into a novel. You're correct, there are residual feelings. After being friends with someone for 10 years and dating them for 2.5 years, that's expected. So perhaps this is why I had hoped we'd be able to talk like two adults after some time has passed just to bring some peace and closure to it. My children and I don't need a disrespectful man in our lives, henceforth, the break up. In retrospect, it was more of a mutual break up, and that's why I've questioned his social media actions. Not that it truly changes anything, but I find that odd. So I've been curious.. Thanks again Bricks195 for taking the time to read/respond.
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  • Hello everyone,

    This is my first time doing anything like this but I find myself looking for answers. I'm a taurus female, he's a male scorpio. We were together for 2.5 years and recently broke up in early December (right before xmas and new years.. this totally sucked). In any case, we haven't spoken in 6 weeks but apparently he still has all my pictures and posts on his fb. He's also a part of a fitness fb group I belong to and the notifications tell me he views all my posts. Not hearing from him during the holidays and all really hurt me. My children are very fond of him and he didn't reach out at least to acknowledge my kids or anything. He's always been the type to blame me for everything and so I assumed this is his way of "punishing" me or is playing a game to see who can ignore who the most. Very immature.. but I wouldn't be surprised if this is what he's doing.

    In any case, about the break up.. I recently started a new job. He had been on me and making me feel bad for having been laid off of my previous job. I've worked my whole life and am accomplished, so his criticism was hurtful and demeaning(this is how I felt). Anyhow, we both knew that we would go from spending several days a week to one day a week or 2-3 days every two weeks. We both agreed it would be good for me to have some time to settle into my new job before considering staying over his place during the work week (he lives far from me and my work). On one of the few weekends we had designated to spend together, he messaged me to let me know he was going to hang out and smoke with his coworkers. Meaning, I was being put on hold and had to wait until he was done "hanging out" to see him. This was really upsetting. In my mind, he gets to see his coworkers all week, why did he have to pick one of our designated days to be with them? I was so excited to see him and felt second when I saw he wasn't as eager to see me. I told him to just hang out with his friends and that I would see him the next day instead. Well this turned into an explosive argument. He said I was over exaggerating and couldn't understand why I was hurt. He accused me of trying to control him and told me to go find another man to boss around. I've never been one to tell him what to do and feel that his smoking has gotten out of hand (he lied to me in the beginning and told me he hardly smoked) with his smoking 5-6 times a day for long periods of time. He was very disrespectful, said hurtful things, name called, etc.

    This isn't the first time he's been disrespectful and so I did what I thought was best.. I stood up for myself.. I told him it was over and I never responded to his many messages that followed. Contacting him would mean that his bad behavior was acceptable so I've stood my ground and haven't made any contact. Everyone keeps telling me he's probably waiting for me to make the first contact.. well that's never going to happen. Even before our split, things had been shaky. In the second year we've been together, he's become so negative and he hasn't been the nicest. I feel a lot of this has happened because he had some personal issues with his daughter that really effected him. Nonetheless, I have been there for him.. but I recognize that those are his issues.. not mine. I'm not his doormat for him to take things out on whenever he gets upset.. and it's often.

    I've begun to move on with my life but can't help but feel we've never really gotten closure. Maybe this is what he wants? To leave me in lingo? I don't know. I've been trying to make sense out of all this and especially his Facebook activity. As a taurus, even though we love someone.. when we feel disrespected, we move on. It doesn't matter if my heart still feels what it feels because I will always love him in some form or another, but it doesn't mean I have to be with him. I can't help but feel like he'll reappear later and be upset once he sees I've moved on. I'd love to hear all your feedback or input on any of this. Thank you for taking the time to read this.