i've also forgotten to mention that, he would usually tell me on his own accord that he's coming to my city but this time i had to ask him.. maybe im overanalyzing, idk.

ugh he's the only person i met in life that im most aggravated and confused about! lol.
Posted by ariesgirl88
Posted by teerytotsx
Posted by PrincessT
I made the mistake of asking what "we were" but not in that context.... I made a lengthy email that was written from my heart... I even cried during writing it.. And he didn't even respond lmao.... They keep their emotions bottled up.. They don't express emotions with words..but with action.


and how did it work out eventually? he never replied to my text about me expressing my emotions but i definitely let insecurity speak on its own. i just don't want to be stringed along and find out im an idiot at the end of the day. also, i was so hurt from my last relationship that i just want to move on as soon as i can. it's been about 3 days since my text to him and yea he still hasn't replied. we didn't talk either.

yea i can already tell they're not big in calling and texting. well we don't used to talk everyday, just exchange a few texts every 2 days or so. i think i jumped into it cos he was showing all these signs of interest and i really just want to know where this is going. and i did tell him im too old and not interested to be doing casual hookup or fwb. and that if i should forget about the last time we slept together and just merely enjoy each other's presence, then tell me so i won't embarrass myself in the future. i basically just wanted to set the record straight that im not for him if he's looking for something casual.

and yea, i think im going to leave it as it is. till he texts me.



Big hugs to you my dear!

I have just done something similar to my cancer man. Long story short, I have asked him if we are dating exclusively. I know I may sound like I am rushing him into it. But Iike you, I want to set the record straight that im not for him if he's looking for something casual too. After all these while that we are dating and being intimate with one another. I guess I deserve the right to know if I am the only one he is seeing/ intimate with at this moment. I don't think that's too much to ask for.

And, he hasnt responded for 2 days. I will give him the time he needs to reply and for the rest I will just leave it to fate and god's will. Good luck to you too!

click to expand


well it's been like 5 days since my last "fateful" text to him about me trying to set the record straight lol. he didn't reach out to me and neither did i. though he posted something on social media extremely out of the blue in between, and i was like ghosted in the last couple of days too bc of work. feels like he was asking for attention but.. i could be wrong.

i wasn't sure to reach out to him or not but something tells me to just drop a hi and ask if he will be coming to my city again tomorrow since it's the weekend again. so i did. and all he replied was a "yes". which... is a little cold and unlike of him bc he would usually write in a more polite manner like, "yes i am", or something. anyways, granted he was probably busy when he replied. so i replied something short and said "will love to see you if you have time!". so i guess we will see if he will reply or will say anything to it... he always does but i just don't know about now anymore. he seemed pretty uncomfortable, but i could be wrong. but if we do get to meet which i do hope bc i miss him, i plan to move past that text message i sent and pretend that nothing happened.

does anyone have similar experience as me? if so, how did you speak to your cancer man again after a situation like this?
Posted by PrincessT
I made the mistake of asking what "we were" but not in that context.... I made a lengthy email that was written from my heart... I even cried during writing it.. And he didn't even respond lmao.... They keep their emotions bottled up.. They don't express emotions with words..but with action.


and how did it work out eventually? he never replied to my text about me expressing my emotions but i definitely let insecurity speak on its own. i just don't want to be stringed along and find out im an idiot at the end of the day. also, i was so hurt from my last relationship that i just want to move on as soon as i can. it's been about 3 days since my text to him and yea he still hasn't replied. we didn't talk either.

yea i can already tell they're not big in calling and texting. well we don't used to talk everyday, just exchange a few texts every 2 days or so. i think i jumped into it cos he was showing all these signs of interest and i really just want to know where this is going. and i did tell him im too old and not interested to be doing casual hookup or fwb. and that if i should forget about the last time we slept together and just merely enjoy each other's presence, then tell me so i won't embarrass myself in the future. i basically just wanted to set the record straight that im not for him if he's looking for something casual.

and yea, i think im going to leave it as it is. till he texts me.
And even if he’s truly a f*** boy, I don’t see how someone would painstakingly take the car 2.5 hours, gets in only at 2 am in the morning and came right away to see me at my apartment and chill without th me without trying to sleep with me, then barely sleeps and wakes up early to see me again in the morning and leaves in 5 hours. It sounds like a lot of effort and work to put in for a booty call. I’m really clueless on how to deal with him. I’ve dated and met enough men in my life but this one is the hardest to work with.
Posted by CanerJason
Honestly, I would love to just see her express her honest emotions / feelings about me. I feel like she is holding them back. I feel like I am the one to risk everything by admitting feelings for her.

Posted by teerytotsx
Posted by CanerJason
Cancer man here - I have been talking to a Virgo at work. Just to share my frustrations with her - I feel like she is often unintentionally cold, by over intellectualizing things. Cancers are often moody, and my Virgo doesn't seem to have any patience if my mood doesn't fit what she expects. If I feel isolated, then I am in trouble for not acknowledging her attention. Yeah, we are defensive, we like sex, but as far as a relationship goes, we want to see that the other person makes attempts to understand us, and well, for me, make me feel "safe" in the relationship. It is hard to make changes. =P


So what do you expect your Virgo to do if she doesn’t respond the way you hope she does? What sort of attempts do you wish to see?

Honestly I would love to text this cancer guy everyday, now that he even pointed out that he’s in his city alone since his friend left but I just don’t want to come across clingy. I tried to send him something funny today that I shared with my friends as well and everyone was dying laughing but he didn’t say anything at all the whole day.


click to expand


So we saw each other just this weekend but we didn’t hook up or anything. We just hugged when we see each other and when we part.

I felt so odd and decided to take canerjason’s advice and texted him last night about how I feel and asked where is this going, and that if at the end of the day we were merely enjoying each other’s presence and I should forget about last time we hooked up then just tell me so I won’t embarrass myself in any future situation. It was a long text but, he didn’t reply at all. Did I scare him away?
Posted by CanerJason
Cancer man here - I have been talking to a Virgo at work. Just to share my frustrations with her - I feel like she is often unintentionally cold, by over intellectualizing things. Cancers are often moody, and my Virgo doesn't seem to have any patience if my mood doesn't fit what she expects. If I feel isolated, then I am in trouble for not acknowledging her attention. Yeah, we are defensive, we like sex, but as far as a relationship goes, we want to see that the other person makes attempts to understand us, and well, for me, make me feel "safe" in the relationship. It is hard to make changes. =P


So what do you expect your Virgo to do if she doesn’t respond the way you hope she does? What sort of attempts do you wish to see?

Honestly I would love to text this cancer guy everyday, now that he even pointed out that he’s in his city alone since his friend left but I just don’t want to come across clingy. I tried to send him something funny today that I shared with my friends as well and everyone was dying laughing but he didn’t say anything at all the whole day.
Posted by nikkistar
Posted by teerytotsx
Posted by LadyNeptune
1. There is no relationship terms on the table.

2. You met him off of tinder, notorious for treetrunk boi's and hook ups.

3. He only texts you when he is coming to your area to meet up.

This all points to him only wanting a fwb, nothing exclusive. Did you ask him if he is looking for a relationship??

Cancers are notorious manipulators. He threw a fit cause you didn't respond right away, threatened to move onto someone else,...and you came running with apologies and your kitty.

He played you like a fiddle.


thanks for the last 3 replies - truly appreciative of it.

before we met up, we had conversations about future, not with us, but he would ask questions like how long do i plan to stay here, where will i move to if i leave, etc. to me, that kind of insinuates that he wasn't looking for something short or not serious. we're both actually foreigners working in another foreign country so we are away from our homes and families.

ive been hearing about cancers are known to be manipulators, but at the same time i can read into things too much. ive been told so many times too. i was dead certain that he was looking for a hookup or whatsoever initially, but bc my homegirl told me that it was obvious he is making the effort to come see me, i should just give him a chance. indeed im basically the only female he meets whenever he comes out here. it may seem silly for apologizing, but im also someone who hates animosity with others. either we clear up the air or ill keep sulking about it.

recently, he does seem to loosen up a little, still doesn't initiate conversations but when we speak, he shares a very tiny bit more about himself.

im honestly pretty clueless on how to move forward with him. either i just don't think about it and treat him as a regular friend and that that hookup was a mistake, or i completely see him as a fwb.


Some of the other posters know this about me, but my two best guy friends (family more than friends) are Cancers, and my current SO is a Cancer. I also have another Cancer ex as well.

Out of those 4 Cancers, the ex was the manipulative type that you have heard about. However, they are more far and few inbetween, and the majority are just more prone to being defensive. They tend to keep to themselves, or don't allow many people into their inner circle.

If you want to end up pursuing something with this Cancer, you will need to have a huge store of patience. They take a long time to do everything. lol
click to expand


i still don't know about the manipulating part, i still haven't seen that side of this guy. i mean, ive met a cancer man once. he's super chatty and we became good friends right after we first met.

i agree they seem to only let certain people into their lives. his good friend who he's been working with for a long time is leaving town for two months, and now he's just reaching out to me.
Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by teerytotsx
Posted by LadyNeptune
1. There is no relationship terms on the table.

2. You met him off of tinder, notorious for treetrunk boi's and hook ups.

3. He only texts you when he is coming to your area to meet up.

This all points to him only wanting a fwb, nothing exclusive. Did you ask him if he is looking for a relationship??

Cancers are notorious manipulators. He threw a fit cause you didn't respond right away, threatened to move onto someone else,...and you came running with apologies and your kitty.

He played you like a fiddle.


thanks for the last 3 replies - truly appreciative of it.

before we met up, we had conversations about future, not with us, but he would ask questions like how long do i plan to stay here, where will i move to if i leave, etc. to me, that kind of insinuates that he wasn't looking for something short or not serious. we're both actually foreigners working in another foreign country so we are away from our homes and families.

ive been hearing about cancers are known to be manipulators, but at the same time i can read into things too much. ive been told so many times too. i was dead certain that he was looking for a hookup or whatsoever initially, but bc my homegirl told me that it was obvious he is making the effort to come see me, i should just give him a chance. indeed im basically the only female he meets whenever he comes out here. it may seem silly for apologizing, but im also someone who hates animosity with others. either we clear up the air or ill keep sulking about it.

recently, he does seem to loosen up a little, still doesn't initiate conversations but when we speak, he shares a very tiny bit more about himself.

im honestly pretty clueless on how to move forward with him. either i just don't think about it and treat him as a regular friend and that that hookup was a mistake, or i completely see him as a fwb.


None of that indicates he wants a relationship with you. Him 'making the effort to see you' just means he wants to see you, not that he wants to wife you up. And you said yourself that he always is super casual about it, saying he's gonna be in town for a hair cut...not saying he's coming there just for you. Your friend is telling you what you want to hear.

Asking how long you plan to stay here, etc. doesn't indicate deeper feelings either. If he's looking at you as a fwb he wants to know how much longer the kitty will be available to him.

Maybe he really does want a relationship with you. Your not going to know until you ask.

click to expand


i guess ladyneptune is right. i should ask where this is going.

funny bit, he actually tried to initiate a conversation yesterday. it was a failed attempt, but A for effort.
and actually i've met my last ex over tinder too. libra. but bc we have a mutual friend, i felt more at ease to know someone could vouch for him. i don't talk or just meet up with anyone randomly if i don't see us to have mutual connections.
Posted by LadyNeptune
1. There is no relationship terms on the table.

2. You met him off of tinder, notorious for treetrunk boi's and hook ups.

3. He only texts you when he is coming to your area to meet up.

This all points to him only wanting a fwb, nothing exclusive. Did you ask him if he is looking for a relationship??

Cancers are notorious manipulators. He threw a fit cause you didn't respond right away, threatened to move onto someone else,...and you came running with apologies and your kitty.

He played you like a fiddle.


thanks for the last 3 replies - truly appreciative of it.

before we met up, we had conversations about future, not with us, but he would ask questions like how long do i plan to stay here, where will i move to if i leave, etc. to me, that kind of insinuates that he wasn't looking for something short or not serious. we're both actually foreigners working in another foreign country so we are away from our homes and families.

ive been hearing about cancers are known to be manipulators, but at the same time i can read into things too much. ive been told so many times too. i was dead certain that he was looking for a hookup or whatsoever initially, but bc my homegirl told me that it was obvious he is making the effort to come see me, i should just give him a chance. indeed im basically the only female he meets whenever he comes out here. it may seem silly for apologizing, but im also someone who hates animosity with others. either we clear up the air or ill keep sulking about it.

recently, he does seem to loosen up a little, still doesn't initiate conversations but when we speak, he shares a very tiny bit more about himself.

im honestly pretty clueless on how to move forward with him. either i just don't think about it and treat him as a regular friend and that that hookup was a mistake, or i completely see him as a fwb.
Posted by Virgo89
I was in this exact situation a few weeks ago. I’m dating a cancer man as well. In the beginning he was terrible at replying to messages, it would take him hours to reply; sometimes I wouldn’t hear from him in days. At times I would give in and initiate a conversation and other times I would (painstakingly) wait for him to. I’ve learnt that you have to be super patient with cancers. I eventually brought it up with him in a subtle way (us virgos can be really blunt). As usual he took hours to reply to me and I responded with “I always thought I was terrible at responding to messages but you take it to a whole new level!”. This must’ve sparked something in him because he apologized and said work had been hectic. Since then he started replying every second! To the point that I was actually getting a little annoyed. Another thing that really keeps him on his toes is when i go out with the girls. He’ll be messaging constantly.

That’s all I’ve figured out about cancer men so far!


exactly! but idk how to bring it up in a subtle way. maybe i'll try that.

another thing is, are cancer men that clammed up that they wouldn't show their true intentions until called for?

he landed in his city yesterday after a hectic 10 day work trip and said he was going to come to my city on that very day. which, i think that's pretty crazy esp it was a hectic trip unless there was another intention. but bc he left his wallet at one of the hotels during the trip, he changed his mind. i told him to just come out since it was my day off too and i can spot him first (i know he's good that's why i offered) and he said he will just come out over the weekend instead and added "just to get a hair cut". i mean, he will never ever say he's coming to see me but the intention is there. so gawddamn it, why don't just admit it?? -______-
Posted by coldwateryvirgo
keep your guard up. Virgo last longer with cancer when they stay cautious like they do in most relationship.

You fall for them , it usually start falling apart


Im still guarded, just wasn't sure if i should continue to initiate convos with him on the daily or i should just walk away. He seemed really egotistical and a softie at the same time. I just dont want to come across seeming clingy if he isn't feeling me the same way.
Posted by Undine
He's married!


Lol no he isn't. He has a kid though. He and the mother of the child has a clean break but it's all about raising the child now. We never spoke about this yet either. Just wondering if i should just walk away.
i'm a Virgo female, met this Cancer man about a month ago. we live in different cities, about 2 hours drive from each other and have hit it off pretty well. we met on Tinder. it's a little lengthy but i really need some advice here.

we've hung out on 3 consecutive weekends and he would be the one to come to my city and he's always here for about one night as Sunday was his only day off. we would always make time for each either over a meal or meet up on Saturday night when he gets in and just talk. he always say how much he loves the city I'm in so i was take it like he legitly likes the city im in that's why he traveled out here so much. at this point, nothing intimate yet.

i've noticed his body language to change by the second weekend we met. he would get closer to me, teased me once or twice, and when we sat next to each other at a restaurant, he would have his arm on the back of my chair, accidentally brush the side of my thigh, keep rubbing his own thighs, etc.

so just last week, we had a small argument over texting. long story short, it was because i wasn't responding to his alleged advances. then he said guess it's time to find someone else with the peace out emoji. i then realized he has been trying to get with me so i apologized for being so guarded and that i had a good reason for it (i was so heartbroken from my last relationship with a Libra man, found out he was married and butter). he didn't reply after.

the next couple of days, i was trying to say hi and all, and his replies were extremely short but like always, he responds immediately, if not within like 10 mins at most. and finally i asked him if he was still in his feelings. he got upset and defensive, and said i gave myself way too much credit and that he never was in his feelings. i then apologized again and asked if we could start over. he said we're cool, and said it again that guess it's time for him to find someone else. so i teased him and asked if he wanted some recommendations from me and he said no need bluntly. lol. so i told him i like his vibe and that again i apologize for being an marker, and drove out to see him that very night since we won't be seeing each other the following weekend due to his work.

when he saw me, he was kind of dancing and happy to see me. we didn't speak about what happened before but spoke about something else. i ended up staying with him. i got him to cuddle with me, and he was breathing so heavily like he was extremely nervous. about a few mins later he was breathing normally. and we ended up cuddling for at least 20 mins, he didn't try to grab my butt or feel my back, but he was fidgeting a lot. and i know he was trying to meet my face and kiss me. we finally did and had sex. though it was fast, there was a lot of kissing. and he said embarrassingly, "that was fast, well it's been awhile for me". and i just smiled back at him. it was indeed short, but at that moment i realized i was truly catching feelings for him.

the next day, while he was cleaning up his room, i hugged him and he gave me a really nice deep peck on my cheek. like i could feel it was an extremely loving one. when i had to leave, we hugged again and kissed twice.

but just like before and always, he never initiates conversations with me unless he's on his way to my city. yet everytime i text him, like i said, he would reply almost immediately. he even sent me a love-kiss emoji in one of his replies. idk if i'm also overthinking, but he would post stuff that is pretty unlike him - it's like he knows i like them. basically, idk what to do with him. should i continue to say hi every day with short conversations like we always do but i don't want to come across clingy, or should i just give a couple of days' of break till he reaches out to me on his own accord, which i somehow think he prefers me to take charge. idk, i really need help with him and i like the connection we have especially when we see each other.
before i get blasted by hate messages, first of all, i have no idea the guy i was seeing is married, until recently.

i usually read forum boards for advice and etc, but this is my first time writing and asking for advice who has been or is in similar situation as me. which i sincerely hope not.

im a virgo, not sure if this plays any part in receiving advice but we met in oct 2016 through a mutual friend. and as in the topic title, he's a libra. im working in a foreign country and he was in the city for a work trip as well and our friend introduced us both because of our common interests. he said it from the first time we met that he was never married and never had kids. we hit it off instantly, and he returned home in nov 2016. when he left, we discussed what happens to us and decided to be in a long distance relationship.

in dec 2016, i went to the states to visit some friends and used the opportunity to see him too. we traveled to 2 different cities on separate occasions, and both trips were short but were also where his hometown was and where he was living. and then he had some time off from work this march and i took time off as well so we went to hawaii for a week's getaway. all seem normal so far, i was never kept as a secret or had an inclination that something was wrong. we were out in public, he had his arms over my shoulders. nothing was off.

long story short, in this april, i accidentally uncovered that he was engaged in 2015. we facetimed, and i first asked him if he was married and he said no, and then i asked what happened to the engagement and he said it was off long ago and didn't feel the need to bring it up. i took his word for it and let it slide.

a week later, and i do not know if this was a sign, but i chanced upon a photo that was submitted on one of those instagram accounts, like showing off your partner, or family or kids. it was him and this other female and she was tagged in it since she submitted it. though it was submitted in april 2016, i wanted to know if this was his ex or the one he was engaged to, so just like most curious people would do, i clicked on her instagram profile. her profile summary carries his last name, said she was married to him and her profile picture was a photo of them both.

so again, i asked him over facetime and this time he told me they were actually undergoing a divorce. he couldn't tell me the reason and found it extremely hard to confess. i still gave everything a benefit of a doubt and told him we will talk when i come visit him in june. when we met, he then told me the marriage was just a registration, they're undergoing mediation, etc and even asked me to come to their last mediation session in aug, conveniently a day before my bday. of course i declined because im in no position to do so. it was an extremely tough trip when we saw each other this time.

when i went back, i had an inclination to look up on this. since i had met some of his family members, i wanted to know how serious the marriage was, whether if it was truly just a registration, or there was a ceremony etc. i kept looking up on social media and to my horror, i found out that he got married in dec 2016. it was extremely personal, no one except some of his family members know they got married so it was just them both and wedding photos. these all mean when we met, he was already engaged and he got married while we were dating. and still able to see me two weeks after his wedding day where we traveled to 2 different cities as i said before.

i was furious, told him to get away from me. he wanted to push everything away and guilt trip me but eventually gave in and told me the truth. he said he couldn't let go of the connection that we had, and that he was really sorry for what he has done. he apologized a few times, and begged me when i said im leaving him. i was extremely heartbroken and i didn't know what to do. my only principle in life is i will never sleep/date someone who is married, attached. i know what we had was real, and he was right about it.

to add on something crazy, while we were away in hawaii for that whole week, she was actually in hawaii too. there was a night he was on the phone for awhile at the balcony and usually he stays next to me when he speaks over the phone but i thought it was something extremely personal or he didn't want to ruin the atmosphere, so i didn't question him about it. he ended up going to see her on the last night though he lied to me about seeing a friend. he confessed this while i was confronting him about his marriage. i do not know how he did all that because like i said, we went out in public and i never felt like i was kept as a secret.

i had so many mixed emotions - i was really angry and i wanted to do stuff to him to hurt him, make him feel like he's the sidepiece, i even tried really hard not to speak to him, and i even tried to go on dates with other guys just so i won't think about him. but he's always at the back of my mind. everytime i want to block him or take him off any type of communication we have, i couldn't do it for a long time.

my close friends tried to cheer me up, some of my male friends even said they want to kill him or beat him up (lol), but now, i feel like im left floating in the air. i had to tell everyone including my parents that we broke up but he constantly tries to reach out to me, shares things with me to elicit a response from me, and tells me he loves me and that i will always be part of his life.

even though we haven't seen each other since my last trip to see him, i feel extremely butterty that i still have a deep emotional attachment with him. i know his wife is his comfort zone and they've established a lot in terms of physical assets in life because they've dated for a long time before the marriage, there is no way he will ever leave her even though he said i have the whole of him now. but i know i will never have him physically. im on this crazy emotional rollercoaster, and im just, clueless because ive never been in this situation. i literally cry every day.

my close girlfriends have given me every possible advice to move on, cheer up, but i don't think anyone around me understood why it's extremely hard to do so. i tried reading articles on how to move on from a married man, etc. every time i seem to do good for like a week or so, i fall back into thinking about him. i tried to make myself feel better in understanding why married men even cheat.

he even said 2 days ago he need to make up an excuse to come see me. i don't know what to say and i didn't respond.

i would love to hear from anyone who can tell me something to kick me in my butt so i can forget about him. im even thinking of seeing a psychologist to talk about my problems.