looking for advice on an ignorant Arian guy!

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lovingemma
6/24/2012 1:48:49 PM | IP

I am infatuated with an Arian guy at work and have been flirting with him for about 2 months. He's a workaholic and although always poses as if he's a popular man, obviously has very poor communication/social skills (no eye contact, nervousness around strangers, very cold and formal when talking business but suddenly acts childish when excited, does not say hi when sees you etc.). At the beginning the communication was only via emails and subtle. He was responding, albeit in short sentences. We exchanged a few conversations in which we discussed problems at work, how tired he was sometimes and I said I could listen to him whenever he needed someone to talk. He said sure but never attempted to meet me so I decided to make my interest more obvious. After I started teasing him for ignoring me, he came to my desk and said hi but he was very nervous. Finally last week I left a book at his office about work-life balance and sent an email saying he's very nice and smart person and I believe he has many interesting qualities so he could reflect them at his work and do much better. Since then he's completely ignoring me. Does not respond my calls, emails and acts like I do not exist. On the other hand, he suddenly started to socialize with people in the office. So I'm thinking my message might have hurt his pride but can not be sure. I've never had any romantic involvement with any Aries before. ı am sure he knows I have feelings for him but I just don't understand why he ignores me? What should I do now, ignore him as well, confront him or act like nothing has happened?

celticlioness
6/25/2012 3:51:33 AM | IP
celticlioness

female from Wicklow, Ireland  

Rising in Saggitarius Sun in Leo

regardless of his sign, men don't like to be fixed or changed and women shouldn't want to do this in any case. He probably feels critisized by you and and felt you didn't accept him for how he is, flaws and all, which in fact you should do if you genuinely like him. he's not ignorant and he didn't ask for your help.
celticlioness
6/25/2012 4:01:01 AM | IP
celticlioness

female from Wicklow, Ireland  

Rising in Saggitarius Sun in Leo

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rockyroadicecream
6/25/2012 12:51:22 PM | IP
rockyroadicecream



"Ignorant?" He's uneducated? Or arrogant, like being chickeny?

Or he's just ignoring you?

Btw, giving him that book made you look like an marker. How is giving him a book, essentially telling him "this is what's wrong with you, here's a book you need" going to show him that you're interested in him? You just sent off an entirely different vibe. You went from "a little interested" to "I think this is what your problem is, here's a self help book!"

Sorry, but anyone would be offended/confused.

As for a solution? Talk to him about it and clarify why you gave him the book.
bkbella86
6/26/2012 8:47:30 PM | IP

27 years old female from BK, NY  

Zodiac in degrees 0.00 Placidus Orb:0

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bkbella86
6/26/2012 8:49:38 PM | IP

27 years old female from BK, NY  

Zodiac in degrees 0.00 Placidus Orb:0

Wow and lol

Idk but it doesnt sound like you like dude at all. You havent even started dating him and your already trying to change him, you know nothing about dude, his past, his future nothing. If i knew someone who possibly was interested in me thought like you did about me i would run the other way.
Love366
6/28/2012 8:45:05 AM | IP

34 years old

How are you going to be infatuated with this guy if you have those negative feelings about him?

Aries men can be the best men ever but when they are going through a lot of changes oh my goodness….handfull. So, you’ll probably have to make him laugh…break the ice. Do something whacky to make him laugh.

You can be his shining star . He will probably be open to it if you thread lightly.

Don’t fix him let him fix his self. He is just going through a rough patch and probably needs someone to talk to him about things other than issues in his life. He probably needs to get away and you can be his private get-a-way…hehe…Have fun with him. Make him laugh.

Jesse91
6/29/2012 7:48:53 PM | IP
Jesse91

22 years old male

march 22, 1991 sun-aries m

if somebody handed me a self help book, i actually wouldn't be that offended lol i'd probably read it and get back to them with my thoughts lol god knows my ass could use some improvement lol i mean i'm not perfect and shiit lol nobody is haha
lovingemma
6/30/2012 2:26:28 PM | IP

It has now been exactly 23 days. I have seen him countless times at the office, in the cafeteria, passed by him on the hallway, he has not given me even a slight look. Sent him 3 emails (one of them was in French and it was basically an apology letter - turns out that he's been taking French lessons so I wanted to surprise him and show that we have something in common). Did not work. IMed him when he was online and available, never responded. Called him twice on his cell phone, once early evening after work (to make sure he was not in a meeting) and today. I almost broke into tears and finally texted him saying that it's important and I need to talk with him, so could he call me back when he got the message. He never returned.

Isn't that too much? What did I do to him? Kill his dog?? Men, I have had people broke my heart before but never had such a cruel treatment! All I want is to make peace. I have tried everything to set things straight, and now out of ideas. And he's not just a guy that I met at the bar or on the street, he's still my colleague and I'm really wondering what will he do if one day he has to work with me on a project or sit across me in a meeting? He may not like me at all, but he should still respect me and behave in a civil way. Am I expecting too much?

I'll talk with his closest buddy at the office on Monday, tell him what happened and ask his help. Other than that I do not what can I do
lovingemma
6/30/2012 2:37:58 PM | IP

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lovingemma
6/30/2012 2:48:15 PM | IP

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lovingemma
6/30/2012 3:01:18 PM | IP

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lovingemma
6/30/2012 3:22:46 PM | IP

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lovingemma
6/30/2012 3:33:22 PM | IP

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celticlioness
6/30/2012 5:04:19 PM | IP
celticlioness

female from Wicklow, Ireland  

Rising in Saggitarius Sun in Leo

Leave him alone... he doesn't want to know you and you're plagueing and stalking him like he owes you something..he doesn't.

What you did to him was you highlighted something about his character that you thought was flawed and instead of liking him, warts and all, you more or less told him that he needed to fix this perceived problem, now you're stalking him and not respecting him..you're being scary. When an Aries doesn't want to know you they generally will not engage with you at all, so that's were you stand, he doesn't want to know you. If he has to work with you on a project in business in the future he will be polite and professional - something which you are not being now. And leave his buddy alone, he will tell him and then the Aries will think even less of you. At the moment the only one being disrepectful and un-civil is you.
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