Cancer Men playing mind or emotional head games?

3/2/2011 6:03:13 AM | More
sld19740508

First of all let me say-this cancer man is way too confusing. I have known him for a year now and yes he seems like a typical cancer. We hit it off as friends the first time we met and 3 months ago he decided to tell me how he felt about me and of course i felt the same. In the beginning he would take me out to lunch, for coffee. Spend all his free time with me. He would call me every morning and text and IM every chance he got. After a month of being intimate (and the sex is phenomanal) he confessed he was falling in love with me. I was excited and told him the same and how I always think about him and miss him when we are not together. Starting two weeks ago the text messages became less and less. Even the calls-he would call just to meet up for sex and afterwards leave. No longer did he want to meet for lunch or coffee--just wanted to meet for sex. He kept saying 'i only want you, i love you' But now when i say 'i love you' He questions me like 'are you sure you want this?' 'Why do you love me?" Last week I saw him and he seemed moody (he's always moody) and I sensed it had to do with me. I asked and he starts yelling that he texted me (which i didnt get due to phone issue) and accused me of lying (finally realized i was telling the truth) and said I stopped 'loving him and was going to dump him'. Then he would say 'i'm a catch-i have good looking female friends that want me does this bother you?' Honestly WTF? Is with the emotional mind games????? I am aggravated and annoyed. And hurt and feel like i'm being used and made a fool of. I tell him everyday i love him, I show him I love him, I am good to him. Is he using me should I dump him? He's 49 and I am 32.

I have a few male friends--nothing major and he knows. One min he's like 'it bothers me you talk to them' to 'i don't care if you are friends with them i could care less'

3/2/2011 6:04:07 AM | More
sld19740508

First of all let me say-this cancer man is way too confusing. I have known him for a year now and yes he seems like a typical cancer. We hit it off as friends the first time we met and 3 months ago he decided to tell me how he felt about me and of course i felt the same. In the beginning he would take me out to lunch, for coffee. Spend all his free time with me. He would call me every morning and text and IM every chance he got. After a month of being intimate (and the sex is phenomanal) he confessed he was falling in love with me. I was excited and told him the same and how I always think about him and miss him when we are not together. Starting two weeks ago the text messages became less and less. Even the calls-he would call just to meet up for sex and afterwards leave. No longer did he want to meet for lunch or coffee--just wanted to meet for sex. He kept saying 'i only want you, i love you' But now when i say 'i love you' He questions me like 'are you sure you want this?' 'Why do you love me?" Last week I saw him and he seemed moody (he's always moody) and I sensed it had to do with me. I asked and he starts yelling that he texted me (which i didnt get due to phone issue) and accused me of lying (finally realized i was telling the truth) and said I stopped 'loving him and was going to dump him'. Then he would say 'i'm a catch-i have good looking female friends that want me does this bother you?' Honestly WTF? Is with the emotional mind games????? I am aggravated and annoyed. And hurt and feel like i'm being used and made a fool of. I tell him everyday i love him, I show him I love him, I am good to him. Is he using me should I dump him? He's 49 and I am 32.

I have a few male friends--nothing major and he knows. One min he's like 'it bothers me you talk to them' to 'i don't care if you are friends with them i could care less'

3/2/2011 9:22:19 PM | More
missscorp

from The Land of Hearts Desire  

49 and behaving this way?!.....run! And as fast as your legs will take you too!!!! Wow! These are the type of issues one should only experience in HS! This is very mind blowing..do they ever grow out of it?! 49?! Does he ever come across as insecure? Do you have trust issues with him? Honestly if he has not grown up yet...chances are...just run!!!!and don't look back!
3/3/2011 4:45:25 AM | More
cancerguy

male

He's probably expecting you to ditch him at any moment because of the age difference.
3/3/2011 5:44:06 AM | More
sld19740508

Thanks for your replies! I appreciate it! I actually have a hard time trusting him now becuase he seems so 'wishy washy'. Yesterday I didn't feel like talking to him because I am confused. Oh he did not like that one bit! Kept buggging me 'what's wrong? i'm worried about our relationship i think you are going to dump me' I just said i was tired today and didn't sleep well that night. So he said he wouldn't bug me and I told him not to. Well 20 min later he comes back and is like 'what's wrong? you are mad at me don't lie!" Yeah at his age he should not act like this.

So why would he all of a sudden stop txting and calling me all the time? It's like he did a 180 on me. I do feel he is doing the 'reverse psychology' trick wanting me to 'dump him' and when i did ask him he said 'no i want you and this relationship' I'm so confused and aggravated!
3/3/2011 5:56:59 PM | More
sld19740508

I actually did talk to him today. He asked me why I was so 'distant' towards him. i flat out said 'because i feel like you are playing head games and pulling away and I got sick of it I am not in high school' Well he was surprised and felt horrible. He said he 'truly loves me a lot and he said the last thing he wanted was to break up and he thought i wanted to break up with him' I told him 'now you see why i feel like i'm in high school--lack of communication' I told him i love him but it confuses me with his mood swings. So we made up. Later on he said he truly hopes I never dump him' He also admitted when I am quiet it drives him nuts. He says he's not paranoid but I think he is because if i'm quiet and not saying anything he thinks the worst that I will dump him. I am a Leo and this is the first Cancer guy I have gotten involved with. I also told him I don't like mind/head games at all. So hopefully this is good. He also confessed he ran into an ex g/f at a luncheon the other day. And then apologized for bringing it up saying he felt 'guilty' and had to be honest about talking to her. I told him I am not the jealous type and it was cool. Why should he feel guilty for running into an ex g/f? In my opinion guys can be friends with girls. But what bothers me is he says that he has no problem getting girls (if he were single and wanted to hook up) but I am the only one he wants. To me that sounds like an insecurity thing. Like he has to make himself 'look/feel good about himself".

3/3/2011 6:11:48 PM | More
Leo1970

The user who posted this message has hidden it.

3/3/2011 6:35:24 PM | More
sld19740508

Have you noticed that when your cancer is thinking about you, you feel it strongly. It never fails, when I'm thinking of him or he's thinking of me strongly, he'll call me at that moment. It's as if we feel each others thoughts. Very odd!


Leo1970: I definatly can tell when he's thinking of me. It's like we have a very strong connection. What's so odd is three months before we took this to an intimate level I had a vivid dream that it would happen and he said he knew also we would get together romantically. Even when I am at the office I can sense when he's about to walk down the hall to where I am and I look up and there he is. He said he has had vivid sex dreams with me in it and he said he never has those. Plus he said we are very sexually compatible and he's never felt like that with anyone.

I usually keep my guard up for fear of getting hurt but this guy I let all the walls down and I admit I am vulnerable but I guess it's okay.

He also made a comment to me saying 'you can get any guy you want as beautiful as you are--why did you chose me?"

Is there such a thing as soul mates? We think so much alike and when he's moody or in a bad mood or sad I can sense it and it rubs off me before he admits that he's sad or in a bad mood. And he can sense my moods too and is affected the same way. People that work around us sensed we had a very strong connection before we even got together. Yes we work in the same building.
3/3/2011 6:37:00 PM | More
sld19740508

I meant to 'quote' the following but could not figure it out...sorry lol!

Have you noticed that when your cancer is thinking about you, you feel it strongly. It never fails, when I'm thinking of him or he's thinking of me strongly, he'll call me at that moment. It's as if we feel each others thoughts. Very odd!


3/3/2011 8:03:49 PM | More
Leo1970

The user who posted this message has hidden it.


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