Cancer man and lust.
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|What? This is a man thing. Any man interested is going to be compelled by lust first. So all you can do is try him out and see if he wants something more but it takes time. Then after some time passes you can make a better call on what he's after. Try to be patient. He's a cancer and you'll need it.|
Posted by ninjamu
Message board High Five !
I could not have said that any better , time is your best friend and worse enemy(if you do, or if you don't have patience) when dealing with a cancer male. The wait and see approach is your best bet.
Now to take a personal stab at it , Lust is definitely a part of the equation when being interested in a female but its not the full criteria, just enough to get me to notice you ;p. It has to be more than just lust,more than just a physical attraction, I really have to care about someone for me to even consider acting on the impulse of lust.
Call me a romantic but what you would rather have, passionate love making with someone you share multiple levels of connection, or a quick romp with a total stranger that is just into whats on the outside? I'm certain that there are some that like the idea of just being in it for the lust aspect , but to it's a hollow fickle feeling that leads to misfortune when not paired with a genuine interest and sincerity .
|The part about having him to initiate contact with me is a litte "weird". We got to know each other for about a week. The first 2 days was fine and thereafter whenever he initiates to text, there would be no response after. A while then he would text again and go missing again???? Why is it so weird?|
|Anyway we haven done anything other than making out he was too drunk.I stopped him and he respected it.|
|I would love to know the answer to this. Been almost 2 years, and every time he initiates contact with me, it is about fooling around, we never had sex, but we fooled around many times. Im at the point where I just feel that he must get out of my life, but he keeps on coming back, wanting to have sex convos, or wanting to fool around. Almost 2 YEARS. Dont think there is any feelings from his side, I was in love with him, but gave up. I think I gave him the wrong impression, and dont know how to fix it. I just basically ignore him, or keep the convos short. Will a cancer man just feel lust after 2 years? Is this all he wants from me, or do you think there maybe something more, but he is just scared to show it?|
Posted by dragoneyes
Okay three things If you establish a relationship with a cancer , the way the relationship was established being that fooling around was the Genesis of all this. A cancer usually behaves consistent to the way this relationship was being started. In that you start with sexual forays then hes going to respond in that fashion. As far as the 2 years of wanting only sex from you , is a bit long if he just want something physical but cancers are slow yet tenaciously persistent. I think if you open a dialogue with him and discuss this issue with him rather than just guessing you could probably find out for yourself.
Hopefully this helps
|Funny I say that "if all fails, there's good ole' verbal communication" when solid verbal communication should be the foundation of anything good to happen, but I digress.|
To add to what pnokio said, cancer (men are all I've encountered) take notes of the way you interact with them and will usually act on the leads that you give him, be it sex, good conversations, outings to baste in good feelings, or whatnot. Keep in mind they are slow to act, which in the case of getting them to do something differently, he will stick to one method until it no longer works for him. For instance, one I've known for going on 5 years, he would use sex to get me to come around. It worked until it didn't work anymore, then he would oh-so-subtly suggest other things that he knows I have already mentioned or done before... only pulling on the strings that he's seen me toss out there. All he wants is to see me, plain and simple. He has it so bad (expressing how he feels), that a few weeks ago he mentioned that he is attending a wedding. A week later he mentions he's the wedding again. He asks what I'll be doing. "busy" "I'll be getting drunk." "ok, have fun"
Long story short, he does that for two weeks, then not until after the wedding, he tells me that he wanted me to be there as his date. It never clicked for me.
I have a different cancer I talked to for about four months that did the same thing with using sex to get me to come around. Told him I only do vertical dates and stopped contacting him. Took him a few phone calls ( oddly to me, 3 calls each a month apart) to realize I was serious. Now he only calls to 'see' (<< haha) if I would like to grab lunch or such.
I don't think I'm even on the topic. o_0
Posted by Lady Aries
some wise soul (possibly Mistery) explained how Cancers and Aries experience time differently...to a Cancer 3 weeks seems like 3 days and to an Aries 3 days can seem like 3 weeks (no wonder - just look at all the stuff we get done in the course of a day!)
So an Aries girl may well think "he hasn't called for a month - he is obviously just not that into me" and be shocked to receive a call the next day.
I believe this important information should be printed at the front of the Cancer Handbook.
|as a woman with an Aries moon dating a Cancer with a Cancer moon, i always have to talk myself down when he keeps me waiting or does things in a roundabout way, only because is way of functioning with reality is different. my mind spins off into crazy schemes wondering if hes pulling mindtricks just to test me or get reassurance in a sideways way. maybe its a bit of both. drives me crazy though. if i call him on things (diplomatically) i can see him mentally noting it. things always take a few reminders/suggestions to change the train route. learning a lot about myself in this relationship!!|
|but to answer the question of the OP, moon and rising and mars placements also affect lust. usually cancers need attachment for sex, cant be one without the other. if he has strong leo, sag or gemini elements he may be a surface prober. in the end as a cancer he craves attachment.|
Posted by mpressjupita
Colour me impressed.
Posted by fallforyou23
Great question!! I think it's very hard to differentiate. Cancer men are different...they have a tender, nurturing way about them that is so easily mistaken for feelings and actually caring, when in fact, they may not. It's just their way I was in limbo for 1.5 years over this question with one. And no, good old communication doesn't work, because I asked him repeatedly if he just saw me as a friend, and he wouldn't answer, or said that's what he was trying to "figure out." I couldn't read him, he was so tender and caring, the way he would hold me and kiss me/touch my face, and told me that he never stopped thinking of me. I swore he loved me, but then he'd disappear, contact from with him was sparradic. Finally I flipped my lid and wouldn't leave him alone until I finally got him to say that I was a "friend." I let a week go by, then he contacted me again, and I told him that I was sorry, but that I couldn't be his "friend." From then on, I quit taking him serioulsy and told him not to contact me anymore. It's been a while now, but it seems he still hasn't forgotten and hasn't let me go. I've blocked him every way I know how, but somehow he still finds me, at least every 2 weeks (under the guise of work, but I KNOW). So who knows, maybe he did care, because I doubt he clings to "friends" this way.
The good thing is that I've stopped feeling for him because I just can't anymore. So I don't really care what he does at this point, it makes no difference to me. Part of me will always care, but that's where it ends, no more fantasy. It aint happening, so I just turned him off. I still have no idea what his deal is/was, but the good thing is that it's not my problem anymore. I guess he's still in it, but I'm not.
So, yes, time will tell. Just don't let too long go by. I wish I had flipped my lid on him earlier, than I could've turned him off earlier.
|I think in the beginning it's only lust. You don't know that person well enough to know whether you'd be compatible. With men, you find out over time, how they really feel about you. Don't judge a man by what he says. Judge him by how he acts. When a man loves you, you will know it. He'll be "on it like white on rice" blowing up your phone with texts, seeing you as often as possible and confessing his feelings for you. When a man's in love, he chases you. And if you're smart, you make him wait for the cookie and see what he brings to your table. There's no shortcut to taking the time to get to know the man. That's why it's foolish but all too predictable that we go "all in" once we get attracted to a man. Attraction is only half the banana.|
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