Many writers have described the 'narcissistic adult' as NOT one who has been 'spoilt' by too much attention, but someone whose life has been spoilt because those who cared for him in infancy or childhood were unable to see or know who he was, and respond to that. Instead they saw a reflection of their own needs, or someone who intruded upon their needs.
Richard Sennet writes:
"The manifest content of such a distress is "I cannot feel"; the latent content, however, is that the Other, the other person or the outside wold, is failing to arouse me. The statement of inadequacy is double-edged. I am inadequate; those who care about me, by their very caring become inadequate for my needs and are not really the "right ones'...
The person caught in this bind feels that those trying to get close to him are violating him, giving him no room to breathe. and so he flees... on to the next person who is idealized as perfect until he or she begins to care."
Hmm... sound familiar to any of you Cancers? ... past or present?
I've often wondered about the self-absorbed Cancer, who delights in draining and using the people around them. The materialistic ones, always searching for the next gadget or 'item' that will make them the envy of all their friends.
Cancer the Narcissist
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