How do you know when a cancer man is serious?

beautiful69
I thought being a cancer woman I would be able to understand my cancer boyfriend, however we seem different. He's very closed in, even now almost a year being together he still doesn't express himself to me. I am the expressive one in the relationship while he sits there his response is "oh okay". When he doesn't respond when I pour out my feelings to him, I feel so silly and wish I could be reserved like him with this "I don't Care" attitude. How would I know if my cancer man is serious about me. What are the signs when a cancer man is in love. The most he has said to me is that he cares about me, and that I am a total sweetheart. Ok and? How can I help him to open up to me, I need to know what he's feeling that's the part that drives me crazy because you never know what's going on with him, what's on his mind. When I ask questions, he says I ask to many questions, but how else am I suppose to know it's not like he comes out and tells me anything. Please help!
o_O
DANM YOUR CANCER MAN! *I feel you*
beautiful69
So does it usually take cancer men a long time to open up. And what are ways that he would show if he was serious about the relationship, or in love since his expressions are close to nothing. So I just sit back and wait? What about when it comes to expressing my feelings, should I just sit reserved and act as if nothing is bothering me? Help me out guys, thanks.
VenusLady
beautiful69:

I feel your pain. This sounds exactly like my cancer man and its so damn frustrating. The more i ask questions and try to work out whats going on is the more he backs away from me. Then if i dont say anything, he sulks because he thinks i dont care anymore. Beats me! We've been on/off for a year now and i feel i know less about him now than at the beginning. I've now decided to back away and just leave him be, there's nothing else i can do, the thing is, i thought leaving him alone would make him come running back to me....HUH! I'm still waiting!
beautiful69
Yes it's literally driving me crazy. Last night him and I were talking on the phone and because I didn't have anything to say he was quick to want to hang up. I am at the point where I feel talking is totally pointless because after I talk I feel extremely stupid. So anyway for his sake, and to keep on the phone I started to talk to him about how I don't anything about him, in order for me to know something I have to ask questions and it's very rare that I actually get an answer. I also told him when expressing my feelings to him once I'm done, all you hear is crickets. All he can say is "wow", Just know that I do listen and take it all in. I'm sure he does listen but he hardly responds. Every thing has to go his way and I hate it. I try to be patient with him with everything even to the point where in order for me to speak to him I have to wait for him to call, or to see him I have to wait for him to tell me he wants to see me. He doesn't have a cell phone, and when I ask him to come over he gives me an excuse so I stopped asking because I hate getting rejected all the time. It's almost a year now and all he can tell me is that he likes me a lot, and he's with me because I am a sweetheart. OMG
fiddlesticks
he's taking you for granted. either you need to make him work more or he needs someone that'll make him work more.
beautiful69
I asked him did he feel like he has a connection with me, and his response is that we are total opposites because we live different lifestyles and that makes us connected. WTF does that mean? He told me his perception of me is the professional girlfriend who takes care of business; I am the stay at home girlfriend totally different than what he's used to. He also states that there are certain things that he doesn't feel that I am fit to do because of his perception of me; parties that he would not take me to because of his perception "WOW". He makes me sound so boring and his perception is off because I am the all around girlfriend, I like to do just about anything there is no limit to me, I am spontaneous, fun, the type of girl you can take anywhere and can fit in. I am not judgemental and I hang around anyone still having a good time. So I don't get what makes him feel like he wants to be with me, he made me sound completely boring; "a stay at home girlfriend" how exciting. This explains why our relationship is still at the same level, and yet I'm going through hoops and circles, trying different methods to understand and make it work. What the hell is going on here? It's like I am constantly trying to prove myself, showing him that his perception is totally wrong.
fiddlesticks
if that's his perception of you, it's not going to change. i'd suggest moving on or being a little more distant. this, if anything, would at least activate his clinginess
beautiful69
This is not fair. I know that every relationship involves work but jeez there is a lot of work here. I'm trying my best believe me, and I honestly feel at this point he should appreciate me more. And why not love me : (. I am lovable, ask anyone who knows me.
fiddlesticks
what he should do, and the level of fairness in love are not dependent upon your qualities as a person, so avoid confusing these traits. if he can't appreciate you, move on; don't be a doormat and give yourself more credit than you currently are. honestly he doesn't seem worthwhile if he has these strange ideas of who you are in his head that are contrary to reality.
canceroushugs
Cancer men and cancer women...never going to happen!! i have been involved with a cancer man for over a year and we are still at the "i dont know" Stage..and he takes me for granted and then throws a pity party about how i dont express myself! and then when i do he gets angry and feels pressured! PRESSURE AND STRESS that is what a relationship equals to a cancer man...dont bother! i just decided to let us be what we are friends with cuddling benefits and date other men...men that will appreciate you right off the bat and give you the attention that a cancer woman needs. Even if he does express something that resembles an emotion one day he will go back into his shell the very next day!...this ofcourse will upset us cancer ladies and cause us to retreat..the cycle goes on and on...so you should move on.
fiddlesticks
i am surprised whenever i hear about same-sign relationships... just seems incestuous.
xxamberxx
to beautiful69 im aries buti knw exactly what you are going through, i have been with my cancerien man for a year. He does not like speaking on the phone only txts. i have not even been to his hometown or met his family,. he is alot younger than me, he is bit of a snob too and worry what people think! He has become more distant recently and when i ask if he loves me etc... it takes days for an answer. he mostly says he loves me sooooo much and i wil never lose him. but other times it is like he is tryin to make me initiate the break up!
cancerLA
cancers should not date each other. period.
dcprdiva
yea, they say Cancer with Cancer isn't the best. But I dated my fellow Cancer and it was the best connection I have ever had with someone.
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