If I ignore cancer man

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3/22/2011 4:34:42 AM | More
dragoneyes

female

I'm so tired of this cancer man indecisiveness. How will he act if I just ignore him? Will he try harder? I read somewhere that they like to Chase, will he want me more if he thinks I'm not interested?
3/22/2011 5:54:38 PM | More
LunarLady720

29 years old female from Dallas, Texas  

My name is Candace and I'm a wife and a

yep, at least that's the way it was in my case. The more I resisted the more he tried. 2 years later we moved in together!
3/22/2011 7:25:46 PM | More
cosaxi

male

Love Scorpio woman

As a Cancer man I have to agree with LunarLady. A good correlation might be that when you ask a Cancer to do something over and over they will be less and less likely to do it.
3/22/2011 8:16:59 PM | More
PixieDust

23 years old female

I hope so! Because that's what I'm doing right now too...

Goodluck!
3/22/2011 10:13:32 PM | More
PixieDust

23 years old female

Posted by Skylark
So apparently I'm in the same boat right now. I've been really busy the past couple of weeks and when I was finally able to text the Cancer back he said..."I thought you dropped off the planet." Then when we talked later he jokingly mentioned how I like ignoring his texts. I was genuinely busy and would not just ignore him like that. Now it seems he's doing the same to me? He could be busy himself, but it just seems so odd since this happened right after this incident.

I called him last night and he did not answer. He later sent me a text saying he was sorry, but he didn't have his phone on him. I send him texts and he doesn't answer them right away or not at all. So unlike just a few short weeks ago when he could not get enough of talking to me. Now that I'm not busy it seems like he is or either playing this game with me. I so hope he's genuinely busy because I hate games. Or at the very least tell me he's no longer interested to save me some time. Last week all he could talk about was meeting and doing something fun together and now it's like...hello?...are you there? It's like he's changed into this totally different person...so sweet and nice one minute to cold and distant the next.

Is this typical of Cancers?


Mine acted like that when I directly ignored him recently.

They don't like to be ignored, and if they sense you are doing it purposely, I think it COULD trigger a certain amount of game playing. I don't know your history with your crab but mine is an ex. We agreed to take some time away from each other and when he decided he wanted that time to be up, I hadn't. So I ignored him. When I decided I was ready and I contacted him he was cold, distant and rude. He did proceed to tell me that he tried talking to me and I didn't seem interested...afer that he didn't respond. I responded to this by deleting him from facebook. He tried to add me back about a week and a half later, to which I ignored.

If you suspect he's playing a game, maybe be direct with him. Text him and tell him that you're sorry if your distance had seemed like ignoring and that you were genuinely busy. But honestly, you were too busy to answer a text message? For how long? I could see him being offended.
3/22/2011 10:17:47 PM | More
LunarLady720

29 years old female from Dallas, Texas  

My name is Candace and I'm a wife and a

I think he got the vibe from you that you weren't that interested so he's backed off, simple as that. Texting only takes a few seconds, even if you are really busy (unless you're working and can't use your phone) you could find a second to just text and say you're really busy but you'll text him later. It drives me nuts when people ignore my texts and personally it makes me a lot less likely to keep texting them. It's kinda like putting yourself out there and you're just left hanging, you don't know why the other person isn't responding. He doesn't know if you are really busy or not, so you have to put yourself in his shoes and get back to him. In the past when I've had friends do that I quickly learn not to even bother texting them anymore.

So basically, you need to earn his trust back, he took it to heart and really believed that you weren't all that interested. And yeah I think that's typical of Cancers. When I get a vibe from someone and it's not what I want, I will back away very quickly.

3/22/2011 10:45:51 PM | More
cancerguy

male

Posted by Skylark
So apparently I'm in the same boat right now. I've been really busy the past couple of weeks and when I was finally able to text the Cancer back he said..."I thought you dropped off the planet." Then when we talked later he jokingly mentioned how I like ignoring his texts. I was genuinely busy and would not just ignore him like that. Now it seems he's doing the same to me? He could be busy himself, but it just seems so odd since this happened right after this incident.

I called him last night and he did not answer. He later sent me a text saying he was sorry, but he didn't have his phone on him. I send him texts and he doesn't answer them right away or not at all. So unlike just a few short weeks ago when he could not get enough of talking to me. Now that I'm not busy it seems like he is or either playing this game with me. I so hope he's genuinely busy because I hate games. Or at the very least tell me he's no longer interested to save me some time. Last week all he could talk about was meeting and doing something fun together and now it's like...hello?...are you there? It's like he's changed into this totally different person...so sweet and nice one minute to cold and distant the next.

Is this typical of Cancers?


My 2 cents:

So, he made remarks that imply that he wasn't happy that he did not hear from you. He's feeling you out, judging your reaction, and telling you how he feels all at once. If you act like you're not interested, then you should expect him to put on the brakes to assess the situation, and second guess.

I can hear the thoughts from here: "Maybe she wasn't all that interested if she can't even text me back, maybe I miss judged everything, I better back off before I get hurt, or look ridiculous going for a girl who has no interest in me".

You'll probably have to build up that rapport all over again. If he's immature, and doesn't really trust you anymore, then let the games begin....
3/22/2011 10:48:56 PM | More
PixieDust

23 years old female

Posted by LunarLady720
yep, at least that's the way it was in my case. The more I resisted the more he tried. 2 years later we moved in together!


So, what is the delicate balance between "resisting" and "ignoring" ?

Because ignoring my crab in the short term only seems to piss him off, trigger him to play games and act rude towards me. I'm not sure if this behavior is temporary or if he'll just think to himself "forget her!".

I'm ignoring my crab for essentially the same reasons as the OP. I'm tired of his indecision and his reluctance to commit. I've layed my cards on the table, he knows how I feel about him and he's still wishy-washy with me, saying things like he sees us maybe getting back together, but also doesn't want a girlfriend right now. It hurts. So, I'm trying to take care of myself and I can't do that right now without seperating myself from the roller coaster ride I've been on with him. I just want to know if he's thinking I'm snubbing him and being immature or if he might come to realize that I'm no longer settling for a crummy friendship when I want more.

Any insight?
3/23/2011 4:22:01 AM | More
dragoneyes

female

Well said Wineaux.It is just hard for an Aries to ride the waves and let things happen when it will happen. We are not known for our patience. My concern is just if i ignore him will this not give him teh idea that I'm not interested anymore? Or must I just try not to be too available. If that makes sense.
3/23/2011 7:11:01 PM | More
pinklibra

female

@Skylark, girl hell no you dont chase him! Back off...he will be back. Be direct and let him kno you like him alot, then back off. He will be like "What happen???" Because now he knows you like him, but your not showing it he will want to know why, but this will ONLY work if the cancer is genuinely into you and likes you. If not, then i would still suggest you back off. No sense in beating a dead horse, ya know. Every man want what they cant have. Cancer's are no different, they may throw a little tantrum, get stubborn and go hide in their shell to hide their bruised ego, but they will be back in the race. They just need time to rebuild that hard shell and reboot. You MUST allow them that time. Its okay to let him no you care, but trying to force a cancer man back into your arms is a dead end street. It wont happen. It will only make him more distant and moody. So just stay sweet, back off. Stand behind your word whatever you do. If cancer man feels he cant trust you, then the whole thing is done for.
3/23/2011 7:26:22 PM | More
pinklibra

female

Now since this is the ONLY topic on this whole darn forum that actually gets replies...my cancer is driving me NUTS! i mean coo coo for co-co PUFFS! URGH! Indecisive is an understatment for this cancer man. He knows what he wants and is a straight up ass about getting it. He's trying to paint the image that he and I are in a "relationship". Im no gullible little bimbo. I know when a man is acting like my man and when he's just playing roles to get what he wants so he can keep it moving. This one will fuss, write me on fb, text me saying he needs me, he even called me at 2:00 am fussing about how i dont "take care of home" and how he wants to spend more time. I told him no problem. However he wants sex. He's literally trying to pressuring me into it by blackmailing me saying theres another girl thats gaining a whole lot of points with him, and that i have a certain amount of time to make a decision about us or he's going to be with her. I told him im not going to let anyone rush me into a relationship. Then he says well he's going to be with her. I told him i wish them the best of luck. And i proceeded to leave. He wouldnt let me. then goes thru my phone and made me delete a guys number that i just met.(I still have it tho.silly rabbit.lol) Dont get me wrong i want a relationship, but i want the man to date me, and i date him. We should get to know each other. I told my cancer this since day 1, and he pretended to understand yet we keep falling out because i wont have sex with him. He keeps threating to date someone else, and keep telling him TO GO AHEAD! i'm not letting anyone rush me. I know i'm right, but can yall believe this dude? Am i really the childish one?

3/23/2011 7:31:40 PM | More
pinklibra

female

oh yeah, and i forgot to mention that he refuses to take me out until i have sex with him. He hasnt even taken me out yet!NOT ONCE!lol. I swear i've met some markers in my day, but this is nuts. What is he a virgin? lol
3/23/2011 8:15:44 PM | More
PixieDust

23 years old female

Posted by pinklibra
@Skylark, girl hell no you dont chase him! Back off...he will be back. Be direct and let him kno you like him alot, then back off. He will be like "What happen???" Because now he knows you like him, but your not showing it he will want to know why, but this will ONLY work if the cancer is genuinely into you and likes you. If not, then i would still suggest you back off. No sense in beating a dead horse, ya know. Every man want what they cant have. Cancer's are no different, they may throw a little tantrum, get stubborn and go hide in their shell to hide their bruised ego, but they will be back in the race. They just need time to rebuild that hard shell and reboot. You MUST allow them that time. Its okay to let him no you care, but trying to force a cancer man back into your arms is a dead end street. It wont happen. It will only make him more distant and moody. So just stay sweet, back off. Stand behind your word whatever you do. If cancer man feels he cant trust you, then the whole thing is done for.


This is great advice! GREAT GREAT GREAT!
3/24/2011 12:21:57 AM | More
pinklibra

female

My cancer guy is 25 and he acts like he's 13 and in heat! And your welcome ladies...see my cancer is nuts.After his little performance today i stood my ground let him throw his tantrum and what not then i backed off and went about my buisness.Next thing i know he in my inbox apologizing saying he really likes me and is willing to wait on me. We will see.lol. He'll prolly flip out again tho...he wouldnt be cancer if he didnt stomp his feet for things not going his way...lol
3/24/2011 2:53:06 AM | More
AngelicVirgo

Dear wineaux,

You wrote a beautiful post, and sometimes I agree with and others I don't.

Posted by wineaux
look...there is no answer to this question...otherwise there wouldn't be 4 bajillion threads on how to fix it. cancers as whole are not something that can be typified or demystified. it's a dance...and unless you are fully ready to embrace that then walk away. they are lovers, they are feelers, they're not people that want to be analyzed and figured out.


I think cancerians are people that want to be figured out. If they meet that person that can know so much about them without even trying, they will be amazed. Once I told to this crab... "You are so easy to be figured out!" and he says... "Ohh, just like an open book, right?", In that moment I knew that I was wrong saying that and that will make him go distant. Time passed and now I can tell by a sigh or a smile what's wrong with him.

Posted by wineaux

you cannot approach them with questions about their motives or thoughts because they change with the tides. they live in the moment - the cancer mantra: I FEEL. so if you don't feel, you cannot ever underestimate or understand who they are. they are amazing lovers, nurturers and friends. if you have one in your life, consider yourself lucky because you will never have another person who will love you for all that you are. that's not to speak negatively about other signs, it's just how they reach to the depths of your soul.

you cannot approach a cancer and ask what they want...what they need...as they will give you indirect signs. these are things that no one on these boards can explain to you as everyone is different in how they do them. they may send you a text message that won't make sense to you, but to them they're trying to say something significant. i'm not saying read between the lines and overanalyze because that won't work. you must understand that their motives are not to play...because they hate games and drama. it's a glance, a sigh, a smile...that you should be able to pick up on what they're trying to convey. again, it's I FEEL, not i think or i do or i play.


I'll continue the story related to this quote. When he trusts you, you can ask whatever you want. He will tell you, because he knows that you know there is someth
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