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Feed back on how you would handle a situation....

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aries415
7/17/2012 7:58:37 PM | IP
aries415

39 years old

How would you caps handle if your lover was to agree with coming over the next day but end up going to the fireworks with their kids? Your lover was so busy at work didn't have time to tell you and ended up leaving their cell phone charging in the car because they were rushing ever since they got off work. You call a few times and then you text "I knew that you would stand me up you just forgot about me". Your lover calls to explain and they understand that they disappointed you and expect for you to express your hurt and/or anger. They tell you to go ahead and express yourself even if you tell them you do not want to be bothered right now.

Ok please tell me how you Caps will handle this situation. Thank you.
Sunrays
7/17/2012 8:19:21 PM | IP
Sunrays

female

I am a cap sun, Sag venus, leo mars, cancer moon

If i was the person who was being "stood up":

earlier (like in without any relationship experience) i would have been overly emotional. Cry/whine ...the whole works! lol

Now, (older/more experienced with relationships/a bit more mature than earlier!) i would understand. I would be disappointed and would show you the disappointment. However, i would understand.

If i was the person who was on the other side:
i would feel very guilty for doing that to you. I would apologize. i will try to make it up to you (clumsily maybe). I might also expect you to understand my reasons when i explain it to you. Things happen you know and honestly it was not something that can not be forgiven. However, i understand that the disapppointment would be big!

Sunrays
7/17/2012 8:27:04 PM | IP
Sunrays

female

being with my scorp husband has changed me in many ways, in some cases for the better!
Honestly - it has taught me more tolerance (which i did not have an ounce of earlier!!)

sorry about the tangent ....carry on. Just thought i would give a shout out...
Nefer
7/17/2012 8:29:06 PM | IP
Nefer

41 years old female from Michigan  

Totally freakin' awesome, LOVE being me!

Sounds like YOU were the inconsiderate one who had a million and one things "come up" and a million and one excuses for why it should be acceptable that you weren't CONSIDERATE or MATURE enough to even (find a way, allll day long!) to let him know what was going on until AFTER you stood him up without warning.

And if that's the case, I call bullbutter on YOUR self-centered antics. If HE pulled this on YOU, you would be FURIOUS.

/$0.02
Sunrays
7/17/2012 8:44:05 PM | IP
Sunrays

female

we dont know if the plan were made in the last minute or she knew about it all along.

If you knew about the plan but did not communicate it to him(for whatever reason) then shame on you.
but otherwise....a working single mother who is busy at work, i can understand how things can get out of control.
I hope the cap is not too furious with you

aries415
7/17/2012 9:32:23 PM | IP
aries415

39 years old

Thank you all for your feed back. Yes I am guilty. I forgot that I told my kids that we would go to the fireworks, they reminded me while I was at work. I know that it sound bad but I was swamped at work...why because people played hookie or took off so that they can camp out for the fireworks. Fortunately, I have friends who work downtown and I can park at a news station. He doesnt like phone calls while he is at work unless it's an emergency so my real intentions were to call afterwards.

His reaction: I told him that it was ok that he was upset and to really tell me how he felt. He tells me no one can hurt him and that he doesn't give anyone that power. So I say be honest and tell me off I deserve it, he claims that it's ok and how he knows how I love the fireworks. So I suggest that I come the next day and cook him our favorite, we both love shrimp anything. He says "sure" I should have known what that meant. The next day I get off early go and get the shrimp, I am excited like a little girl well because that is how I feel about him. I call him...no answer ok. I keep calling him up to an hour then I knew he wasn't going to respond, so I get angry and leave a vm saying how he should have been a grown up and told me how he really felt. He always have to pay me back and I got on his case about it. The next day didn't call so I text him it's a shame we can't communicate like adults. This happened end of June. 
aries415
7/17/2012 9:38:14 PM | IP
aries415

39 years old

Now I was upset with him because he doesn't know how to work problems out. So when he felt like he paid me back he calls me. I felt like i don't want to be bothered so I ignored him for 3 days including 4th of July. I took a quick weekend trip. By this time he just came over to cut my grass but of course to talk with me in person. As soon as we locked eyes we couldn't help but to smile.. Then we talked and of course we scolded the other about ignoring us. We made up but I explained  with him the importance of communicating his anger.

Ok everything is really good I guess he went through something when we werent talking for over a week because he wants me around much more, however he keeps bringing up when I ignored him. Not when I stood him up but when I ignored him and skipped town. And when he does that i think of how I felt when he ignored me and didnt talk it out and an argument starts but then he doesn't want to discuss it and say I just want to argue?? I realize that I have a very very sensitive man. And I wanted to know if this is how Caps act when they are angry or hurt. I am direct and he seems to be indirect.
CreepyPants
7/17/2012 9:49:17 PM | IP
CreepyPants

female from SiN CiTY

buy the ticket...

how would i handle this? lol shoot, i might just say something to the effect of... "excuse me for taking up so much of your precious time. maybe next time you wanna get bent over time, you should appreciate your lover's time too with a little bit of respect" *click*

It's not even the action of being stood up that would anger me... it's the hypocrisy of it all. i'd find it extremely hypocritical to have my time wasted, and the wastER of my time tell me they would allow me to essentially cookiemonster to them when deep down they don't want to be bothered at that moment... as if it were a privilege graciously granted to me. Deal breaker.

And kids aren't a trump or get-out-of-jail-free card. They are kids... set a *good* example.
lnana04
7/17/2012 9:51:38 PM | IP

So you haven't talked to him since the end of June? That is a bit dramatic but its interesting you said he always have to pay you back which makes it seem as if these mistakes happen more then he'd like. I know what its like to hurt people without trying but you have to put yourself their shoes and wonder what its like to keep getting hurt. You can't expect him to be considerate by communicating or even considerate of your feelings after you've done it your way up to the point where he gives the payback.
asha
7/18/2012 2:16:11 AM | IP

An Aries view:

If you are really hurt dont speak to him at least 3 weeks (better 4). Explanations do not work with those creatures; the only good tool is fear of loosing you.

Not completely serious but not completely not serious either
asha
7/18/2012 2:19:28 AM | IP

Ooops did not see you were guilty. Then try not to do it often as Caps have limitations
rockyroadicecream
7/18/2012 4:29:17 AM | IP
rockyroadicecream



You both are childish and stupid. Especially considering the ages involved here.
truecap
7/18/2012 10:07:24 AM | IP
truecap

45 years old female from Small Town, USA  

Sun: Cap Rising: Scorpio Mercury: Capr

With each time you did me this way, I would have gotten a little colder. You expected him to understand when you did it, but you got upset when he did? You did deserve the payback. Sometimes getting a taste of one's own medicine is good for the soul. By the way, I would have already cut ties with you. But then again, I don't get along with aries very well anyway.
aries415
7/20/2012 7:40:28 PM | IP
aries415

39 years old

Posted by lnana04
So you haven't talked to him since the end of June? That is a bit dramatic but its interesting you said he always have to pay you back which makes it seem as if these mistakes happen more then he'd like. I know what its like to hurt people without trying but you have to put yourself their shoes and wonder what its like to keep getting hurt. You can't expect him to be considerate by communicating or even considerate of your feelings after you've done it your way up to the point where he gives the payback.


No, this incident happened in June, we are getting alone better. In fact we had a long talk about the way we have been acting, things are good now.
aries415
7/20/2012 7:44:46 PM | IP
aries415

39 years old

Posted by asha
Ooops did not see you were guilty. Then try not to do it often as Caps have limitations


Believe me he isn't innocent when it comes to being dependable with arranged dates so that is why he hasn't left me.

 

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