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|"I do stay in touch because I do like you"|
for me this translates into Aries-speak as "I don't love you."
Am I being too hard on this guy?
I understand this is Venus Rx and all, people are getting in touch with us, etc.
He asked how I was going and as I had been caught at a weak moment I stupidly blurted out the truth.
His reply seemed flippant (don't know whether he thought I was kidding around or it was the Gemini way of avoiding speaking about feelings and caring and other must-avoid Gemini topics.)
So I flared up and then he came back and spelt out very plainly that he "liked" me and "stays in touch because he likes me."
I explained I was sorry, I was upset about stuff and had needed moral support.
A) I want to write back and explain properly and really really apologise properly (I do adore him and don't want to hurt him) but not sure if a long winded Rammy explanation of how I felt (OMG - not feelings - ewww!) is going to make it worse.... He is a Gem - he may have forgotten all about it and bringing it up might freak him out. Again
B) If he adored me back, he would just tell me and I wouldn't need to feel weird. And none of this would have happened.
C) If he doesn't love me, why am I even bothering about it?
D) I should ignore any Gem unless he specifically uses the word love. "I keep in touch because I LOVE you"?
I just wanted some Gemmy input - you have all been pretty upfront with me about my bluntness and other failings (well to me it isn't a failing!!) - more of a difficulty translating GemTalk into RamSpeak. He is a lovely person and hurting him would break my heart. Hurting me would also break my heart - I need to tread carefully here in Gem World.
thanks guys (and gals)
|Thanks Salty, just writing that thing out helped me remember many of the things I have learnt here on the Gem Board about feelings and related Gemini repellant subjects!!!|
I think going back and explaining might make it weirder for him (although I REALLY REALLY want to apologise properly and I feel awful for not explaining everything to him.)
It doesn't matter. Remember - he doesn't love me.
Build a bridge Rnap. Get over it.
Allow me to offer my thoughts. I have 3 close female friends that are more like sisters to me - all Aries. One in particular has made it rather clear over the years that she has feelings for me that she wants returned. We live a fair distance apart and don't physically see each other in person often (perhaps once every 6 months or so) but we stay in regular contact on the phone, facebook etc.
She can be very domineering when it comes to expressing her affection for me and to be honest, it can be very off-putting and I think it may be a reason why our frienship/relationship has never evolved to something more. Only a few nights ago we spoke on the phone and she said "I love you" (she was drinking with her girlfriends and was merely throwing it into conversation) to which I jokingly replied "I know" (ala Han Solo/Leia Empire Strikes Back lol) and she became rather annoyed and demanded "say it back!" to which I had a little bit of a laugh and attempted to continue the conversation moving... she demanded several times and even got more annoyed at me and kept demanding that I say it back. Eventually I said "ok, I love you too" (which I do, she's a wonderful friend and I love her to bits)...
My thoughts are, as a Gemini (and I don't know if this is for ALL Gemini's) but at least for me... being forced to say something like that if I don't feel it is rather difficult and rather off-putting. I wanted to hang up at that point and end the conversation. If I feel something like that, I will let them know. And I will let them know in a way that they have no doubts about my feelings. Being forced, asked or requested to say something like that makes me not want to say anything. I really dislike giving people the wrong impressions. Gemini's are apparently known for their flirtateous nature and their tendency to play several people off at once and I cannot agree with this at all. I myself have a great sense of loyalty to a single partner (even though I'm single at the moment) and when I am with such a partner I will tell them and ONLY them my romantic or loving feelings. This whole two-faced Gemini thing I have never understood and cannot comprehend.
To be honest, I've found all my close Aries female friends (not just this one in particular) to be very demanding with emotions and answers and the answers they demand are not answers I can simply throw around.
Hope this explains something??
Posted by SapphireGem
|Copy fail!! |
I love that bit. "I love you"..... "I know" from Empire
Thanks Sapphire and everyone for your patience. I definitely don't want him to say he loves me if he doesn't.
I wasn't trying to force him into lying about it if that is not how he feels!!!! That's the last thing I need!!
I do need to be very clear about where I stand here - I have a poor history with Gems (unfortunately, because we seem to get along so well otherwise.)
I needed to clarify if he kept in contact (many miles between us) for reasons of the heart or just because my emails are just so jolly and entertaining. Yeah, right, whatevuh.
I did write back, after heavy expurgation and editing!! Thanked him for making it clear to me how he felt, explained how I had felt about him and that I was now cool that I only registered a "Like" on his scale.
I am guessing that will freak him right out and I may never hear from him again, but hey - it's not like I have "lost" someone who loved me. And I do feel so much better after apologizing/explaining properly.
I don't think he ever felt a "sisterly" relationship with me. I have even offered for him to set me up with one of his single friends but he always dodges neatly around this or ignores it. Used to make me wonder if I was being kept on the bench or something. Guess I can stop wondering.
Thanks everyone for your thoughts - I appreciate it more than I can express to you.
Can't get the video thing to do its thing......but this is what happened, as far as I can tell.
Posted by LonewolfBravo
Hush now Lonewolf - do not mention such things on the Gem board! Geminis don't operate like that.
I think we have scared him off now - having gotten down to FACTS, so he will no doubt be getting his crumpet elsewhere, breathlessly telling someone else how awesome it is, how kind and generous they are. Oh, but I only "like" you. Pffft.
But looking at things in a positive light - it is better for me to know the truth so I can clear out that valuable real estate (my heart) for someone who is going to appreciate it.
I am always a bit concerned that I may come across as being too hard on people, but I am starting to feel a bit better about it all now.