By now you must all know the whole story just by reading the Leo in my name, but still  I've had the short amazing experience with unhappy ending with a Libra man. He is with an Aries girl (there go my chances, lol) for some 5-6 years now. I'm trying to keep positive about the Leo always coming second best to a Libra-Aries combo and in all fairness, not to envy the girl. I'm also really trying to understand why he went back to her (your posts really helped me out). Still, since you guyz seem really good at finding faults/defects and I'm extremely willing to learn from mine (unsatisfied with own Leo sign here), maybe we can do a once an for all list of things you disliked about Leos that pushed you away. Since I feel that Libra is probably not all gone Im also posting my story here to see if any suggestions come to mind. Although I knew him remotely for a couple of years, Libra and I only got together this July for one month, while his Aries was out of the country. Libra was all cute, charming and nice, did his "marriage mind fantasy" with me and obviously found me unsuitable, which was not hard since I was at my lowest point, breaking up just then with the cheating Aries in my life after 5 yrs. I fell in love with him and Im still feeding myself off the positive energy he gave me, however the usual scenario followed, Libra pulled himself off abruptly and returned to his relationship right when she came back. Dont think he is a player (he's 34, like me), I think he gave me a fair chance but I blew it, not knowing this forum exists, lol. And what if I had known? I've read the Chatz story, really felt bad for her. Maybe she was too willing to please him, Leos lose self esteem when they've fallen for someone..so you see, Ive done some homework. What I haven't done, though, is keep calm; I became reaaally clingy, then calmed down for a while. Last week we met at a party, I knew I needeed to look my best and it seems I managed it well, next day he contacted me again. Again I didn't know what to do with it and I replied, probably too eagerly and not reading his mind .. he was probably just trying to make sure Im ok, as an ex  Well Im not ok, I feel like fighting. So I pushed the line, asking him: you dont let me live, don't let me die, stop coming back if you don't mean anything because it hurts me. Then lost complete control and I invited him over which he refused (duh!). Said "not interested". What will follow? |
Dear Libras, I need some advice
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| Well Im not ok, I feel like fighting. So I pushed the line, asking him: you dont let me live, don't let me die, stop coming back if you don't mean anything because it hurts me. Then lost complete control and I invited him over which he refused (duh!). Said "not interested". What will follow? He's told you he's "Not Interested" That's a definite statement, Libras dont do that unless they are sure and he's watching out for your feelings...sorry time to move on. It also sounds as if he is in love with his Aries, they've got history together and he's back with her. You say you are unhappy with your own sign?? And that your life was at a low point...sounds to me like you need to be looking into your own problems and taking care of that before you try and jump into a new relationship. Baggage is never a good thing to take with you. Also LL, no man is going to rescue you and make you whole again...to have a successful relationship first you need to be happy with number one! |
| i totally second sweetheart's advice. when a man makes a statement like "not interested" he means it! don't overcomplicate the male psyche. take them for their word. it's usually us females who say "no" when we mean "yes". besides, do u really wanna end up with a guy like that? his gf left the country for a month so he cheated on her with u. i don't know if anything physical happened between u and him but u can still have emotional affairs. how can u overlook him being a playa too? u need to remove urself from the situation and take a look at things from a realistic point of view. u can tell by his actions that he never intended on leaving his aries girl in the dust. u were simply a distraction while she was away. so, yeah, he played ur ass! |
| If a Libra's still deciding, he might say, "Maybe..." or "We'll see..." But if he's decided that you are NOT what he wants, he will flat-out tell you, "Not interested." There was nothing ambiguous or hard to figure out about that statement. He's not playing games, not stringing you along, there are no secret, hidden meanings or nuances to what he's telling you. He's simply Not Interested. And no, once a Libra decides, you will NOT change his mind, no matter how much charm or manipulation or pressure you use. The BEST you might get from him (and even this is doubtful, if he's back with his Aries) is the occasional booty call... though a Libra man coming back to use you for sex and companionship and to ease their loneliness is usually reserved for SINGLE Libras. I don't know the full situation, of course.. but even I had to raise my eyebrow about his having a fling with you while his Aries gf of 5 or 6 years (!) was out of the country for a month. Like, whoa. WTF? Why would you even WANT a man who does that, honestly? Is it just because you can't have him, because he no longer wants you? Incidentally, Libra-Leo is not a particularly good match usually, though other planetary placements and synastry are key in this. There are A LOT of major differences in the way these two think, feel, and do things. Let this one go and move on - he won't be back. And if he does happen to come back, slam the door in his face, for crying out loud! What makes you think YOU wouldn't end up JUST like his (better-suited) Aries gf another 5 or 6 years down the road when you have to go out of town for a family emergency and he hooks up with some chick while you're gone? o.O |
| Thank you all kindly for putting the time to answer @Scorpio rising: you are right, should have known that when he tried the last time, lol, but yes, that's the guideline, keep it light. @Ike: I have a Libra moon but I'll look for Virgo in my chart. What I found though is that the Leo ambition and bravery can get quite particular, involving only pursuit for things that bring easy pleasure. Leos cand act quite lazy, impulsive and, sorry, stupid sometimes. I'm only on the lookout for the best in all signs since I only want to cultivate my best. I don't want to be the king of animals from a distance and display rotten nails and parasites in my fur when you get closer. Don't mean no disrespect, Ive seen what happened to some great Leos such as Bill Clinton. |
| For sweethears, ninjamu and nefer: it's good that you brought up the "reality check: not that into you". Him being so nice and all Libra, never shutting the door completely, it did take a while to chew that all he wanted was to remain in good terms (although still slightly attracted). I do have a question, though: many times you hear the same self respecting theme "if he cheats on her he will cheat on you" and I do agree with it, it's a nasty habit. Still, don't you think ppl cheat because they are unhappy and on their way out of their relationships? Cheater to me is someone that knows from the beginning he doesn't want to pursue anything further.. It is irrelevant to the current situation, but in all fairness I think the Libra was not "playing" anyone, since he honestly "tried us out". So shocked ge was falling very fast, he couldn't sleep with me for a while and then he admitted he was working overtime at spotting my defects to play against me in the end what we love about ppl is how they made us feel, and brushing with this Libra made me achieve more in one month than entire relationships. It's what we bring out in ppl that counts, and that's why I can't forget about him. I guess what I need to do is take the good part from a distance, it's just that now, after acting so clingy, I pushed away the friendship, too.. Question to dear Nefer: how are Leo and Libra different, can you point me to some reading maybe? Thank you |
| """"@Ike: I have a Libra moon but I'll look for Virgo in my chart. What I found though is that the Leo ambition and bravery can get quite particular, involving only pursuit for things that bring easy pleasure. Leos cand act quite lazy, impulsive and, sorry, stupid sometimes. I'm only on the lookout for the best in all signs since I only want to cultivate my best. I don't want to be the king of animals from a distance and display rotten nails and parasites in my fur when you get closer. Don't mean no disrespect, Ive seen what happened to some great Leos such as Bill Clinton."""" LoL... gotta love ya sista. Cherish your libra moon.  Thanks for that laugh."""""I became reaaally clingy, then calmed down for a while. Last week we met at a party, I knew I needeed to look my best and it seems I managed it well, next day he contacted me again. Again I didn't know what to do with it and I replied, probably too eagerly and not reading his mind ..""""""" Look for someone who brings out the GOOD in you and forget the ones who make you feel like doing things like ^^^^^. I think you should be happy for him, he found the girl he wants to be with. I know its hard, But if you really cared about him in the first place you wouldnt be trying to sabotage his current relationship for you! He said hes not interested, and take it for what it is... hes not. Sounds like he was trying to be friends with you and was interested in having you as a friend until you poured on the "treetrunk me" act at the party. TRUST ME, MOVE ON. If pursued this libra will act to destroy you in ways you never thought possible. Besides YOU DESERVE TO BE LOVED! How does the old saying go, "plenty of fish in the sea" |
| Awww your so sweet, I can tell just how you express yourself, unfortunately libra man is not going to get your heavy emotions especially if he had no real intentions of being with you in a real way....seems he may have taken advantage of your wounded heart. Get strong inside first before allowing yourself to fall in love again, open your mind but guard your heart because it's precious and shouldn't be given away so freely especially to a cheater, as it stands your going to be emotional until you either find real love or give your heart time to heal or both. Aries are feisty dominant warrior types and they fight when wounded on the other hand leo women are the saddest sight when wounded and need someone to lean on, to love them, you may have came off like a scared wounded kitten and he just wasn't attracted to that kind of energy, not available to give you his focus 100% nor prepared to hold your hand through the process he hit you with a not interested. Ike and Sweethearts gave some really good advice, especially Ike when he said she is independent and prolly feisty and won't give everything as easily as you . You prolly turned him off always there and always ready. Also I agree with the statement about him being a player, sounds like he took pity on you and he's now not interested, take some time to heal your wounds and love will find you, leo's have no problem attracting love. |
| Wow, you all gave very good advice. I'm really glad I discovered this place, it's been years that I hadn't read so many interesting things about human nature in one place! Also read the Superwoman thread on the Scorpio side, really good stuff. Anyways, I am keeping it light in trying to understand him as a human being, which is something that I haven't done during the month we've been "together" since I was then too busy making one mistake after another untill final victory: clingyness ! (really scared him off with that one). We exchanged a couple of FBook messages last week and I was the one to start them. I guess that as a selfish Leo I wanted to see a better reflection of myself into his eyes? It must have come from the reptilian unevolved side of my brain where too much vanity lives.. Since I could not let go 100% to the best moments he's given me this year, I tried to sabotage the "love" aspect and introduce "friendship" .. in telling him how I read that his compatibility with the Aries is great and that he is wiser than me keeping me far because I cannot handle my emotions. I had asked him to stay far so he did not invite me to his party, therefore I cordially thanked him for that and I confirmed I was not going to attend ) That's all, try to put some normal into an abnormal situation with me, the unevolved one that for whatever reason still needs to repeat to self "he is with someone!". Still, I don't think he trusts me on the friendship just yet, he prefers not having contact which hurts me a bit, kinda hoped I could redeem myself .. would like us to remain friends because I do value his opinions, however other than your good advice with "keeping it light, not heavy with emotions" I don't really know how to start a friendship with him (managed to behave awkwardly .. anyways). Thank you all! |
| I'm back we're friends now, so I feel a bit safer. Its because I cried 3 days after I saw him with the Aries girl, she was so sweet, unasuming, modest and unsuspecting that I actually felt like a bimbo on high heels, all pathetic .. I had really put a great deal of effort to look great and was receiving plenty of compliments ..but there she was, modestly dressed, quiet, in a corner, and flipped the object of my passion through her fingers. You could see how he was totally into her, he kept talking to her all the time .. etc. Tried to be nice and polite with me, but the trainwreck hit me so hard .. All this to say that after crying-a-river I (spineless) wrote him a message to say how good he seemed with his lady, how pretty she is (shes ..not that pretty, but nevermind, to him she is) and how the sight completely destroyed me emotionally since I felt so unloved and unwanted. He replied, all caring, but you could see how he was doing that out of pity. so then I felt I crossed that bridge and cannot handle more hurt, therefore I detached and currently we're friends, which is a lot better cause I get the good side of him. i still hope I'll get a Libra someday though, I'm not at all convinced by the libra man -leo woman being a no, it depends how evolved the Leo is. Leos are usually lazy and can't face the competition of an intellectual Aries, but if the leo is well educated and holds on to his emotions the Aries place might not be that secure. we'll see .. I'll come back ... |
| Curious, I am not sure if I can find that entirely true. I am a Leo myself and from what I have seen in myself and in other Leos is the fact that we can be very loving to our partners and can almost seem to have our hearts on our sleeves when it comes to them. I think that you may have come across an unevolved Leo in your time. |
| you might be right, curious visitor. Leos throw waay too many emotions on the Libra and are pretty lazy ... Aries are ambitious and will not allow Libras to get bored. Also, Aries are just selfish enough not to put up with Libras pretty faces that completely and tragically seduce the Leo. To actually get a Libra .. a Leo needs to be very active and yes, not expect that much flattery any more, be able to function more independently and find motivation from within instead of leaning on someone else, no matter how pretty and nice the someone else might be. What scares me as Leo is the insane speed at which these ppl seem to live their lives, I mean Libras .. and also how they need to .. feed themselves with new ppl in their lives in order to be happy. Crazy .. you've got to also be very secure otherwise ...Libra will dump you on the sidewalk ))Ive seen it happen to much more "compatible" signs such as Geminis. One sign that seems to get Libras (and dump them ... weird) is Taurus! |
25 years old female from tampa area, florida usa
Posted by Viva_La_Raine leos are very loving. most i've known have definitely had hearts on sleeves at some point. but they are also very selfish. i've got a heavy leo influence and a heavy scorpio influence, making me more compatible with leos than the average libra might be. but even i couldn't actually date one. i've tried. it's not about being unevolved. leos are the kings/queens. they come first. they'll be faithful and loving, but only if you come second. and libras don't like to come second. we like to be equal. Posted by LisaLeo tauruses are very flattering. they are sensual. they make us feel good. geminis are not flattering. they're too busy flitting around and don't give us enough attention. i've had great friends who were geminis. i've tried dating a couple, but they weren't right for me. leos are all about leo. they are affectionate, but they take affection. they don't give affection. aries can be selfish, but if they like you, they will bust their ass. espe |
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