|I am a leo female writing about an aries male and could use some advice here. I met him 6 years ago on a dating website. We used to chat on msn and on the phone several times and then after a while we lost touch and got busy with our lives. Last year, he contacted me out of the blue. I was working overseas and had come back home to renew my work permit for my job overseas. This time we met in person and he was very interested in me. However, I was in a committed relationship with someone overseas (and didn’t tell him that) so carried on seeing him. He pursued me and I knew he really liked me. He even suggested that our families meet (he was actually interested in marriage). I would have said yes in a heartbeat because he ticks every box on my list but because I was already in a relationship and I knew that my work permit would come through anytime, I showed some hesitation and he continued to pursue me, even though I did mention to him several times that I will have to go back if my work permit does come through. He would get irritated and ask me questions like ‘is work more important?’, ‘why can’t you at least stay for the summer?’ Eventually, my work permit did come through so the last thing I did before leaving was to send him a text saying ‘it has been really nice knowing you, hopefully we’ll get to meet again someday’. I went back to my boyfriend overseas and we lost touch.|
During the year I started having relationship problems with my bf, so one day I suddenly thought of this guy and sent him a text from overseas to say hi. He texted right back asking me if I was back in town and I replied saying no. He never texted me back after that. Shortly afterwards, I went through a very rough breakup and was sad and depressed for a very long time. Eventually after about a year of not dating anyone, I found a job back home and moved back.
About 1.5 months ago, I sent him a casual text asking him if he still remembered me and he texted right back (extremely enthusiastically) saying he did with loads of smiley faces (it was quite obvious he was very happy to hear from me. I texted back saying I was back in town. Didn’t hear from him for two days so sent him a text saying ‘you’ve disappeared again, that’s so you!!’. He texted back apologizing and saying he was at work ( he has a very demanding job and works ridiculous hours).
Aries man advice needed - leo female
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@ duncan exposé:
|The following day he called me, and we reconnected straight way. He then asked me I could meet him that evening and I had to decline but suggested the following day. But his work schedule is insane and our schedules didn’t meet so he said he will call me back later to re-schedule. Three weeks went by and nothing from him. Then a long weekend came by and I was tired of waiting so I sent him a text saying ‘I’m going to be free this weekend, so if you’re available give me a shout. Looking forward to seeing you again’. He texted right back saying ‘sorry in California with family, will be back in a week or so and will give you a ring then if that’s cool?’. So I replied casually saying that was cool. It’s been 3 weeks again and nothing from him!!|
I don’t know what to do. I know when he’s working he gets so absorbed that he forgets the world around him. Should I wait another couple of weeks and contact him? I’ve never come across as desperate and needy in front of him before and in all honesty, I kinda rejected him in a way and disappeared on him for over a year. Maybe he’s purposely making me wait now because I made him wait? All I need is one date with him to invoke his interest again, and then I can go back to playing it cool (which I have no problem with being a leo and having a large ego). After all, so far he has responded to me and wanted to see me. So maybe if I sent him a reminder in a few weeks that shouldn’t be harmful right or would I just blow it? Please help as I would really don’t want to mess this up.
|I'm not sure if I can help on this. Other than him being an Aries - which can be a difficult sign to deal with - he also seems like he is literally VERY busy and doesn't have time for a relationship so maybe that's why he's not actively pursuing one? I'll agree that he seems interested, but for a man whose life revolves around work it takes more than "interested" to make room for a woman in his life. So if you do get a chance to date him, one of the things you'll have to try to figure out is just how much he's willing to change his life to make room for you - and if you can be happy with the amount of attention he might be willing to give you. This is important, because if he's the kind of guy who would never be able to satisfy your cravings for attention AND affection, you don't want to be wasting your time with him in the first place.|
I find it disturbing that he didn't follow up on his word - specifically when he said he would call you later and never did. That's disrespectful to you, busy schedule and everything else considered. Now, I know fire signs are not great diplomats and often hurt other people's feelings without meaning to, but if you do talk to him in the near future you might want to mention that his behaviour FELT disrespectful to you (try to phrase it so as not to make it seem like a big deal, though) and see how he responds to that.
My guess is that for you, as a Leo woman, it wouldn't be very difficult to pursue him and even push him into a relationship. However, doing so might set the tone for the whole relationship to be unbalanced, with you doing most of the work, so to speak. So try to figure out what you want from him and how much effort you're willing to put into obtaining what you want, keeping in mind that whatever you do now, you might have to do it again and again further down the road.
I might be wrong, though, so maybe others will have a different opinion?
Best of luck, anyhow.
|You're so right. I sent him text about a week ago going like 'sorry if I'm bothering u at work I wanted to say this in person that I hope you're not holding anything against me bc I decided to go back overseas last year. I wanted to see u again but my circumstances were different at the time.. And I didn't want to suggest keeping in touch bc we had only just met and I figured u wouldnt have wanted to either. I'm going to quit texting now bc this is making me incredibly uncomfortable but I got in touch witt u again upon coming back to see if ure willing to give this another shot to meet up again to see where things go. But if u don't want to or have something else going on I totally understand'. No response . Talk about common courtesy. It takes 2 mins to send a text. How busy can one be. I wouldnt consider a relationship with someone selfish and self centered like that. I think it's always going to be about him and his convenience. Ughh Im so fuming right now!|
|Next time you care about a friendship and keeping someone in your life, dont lose touch. |
But if you do...when you come back, dont be surprised you dropped lower if not to bottom of his priority list.
And YOUR fuming?
You have SOME NERVE! What you did by stringing him along, concealing the fact that you were in a relationship and had him talking marriage was SO unfair and selfish. How do you think HE felt when the woman he wanted to take to his family and MARRY texted him hey take care... Now your being selfish again by expecting him to drop everything and be so grateful and overwhelmed your back?
In the meantime you say you just need one date with him to invoke interest with him? Gag me. This sounds like a game to me, like you need to be in a relationship and pursued, so you want to "win" him.
I hope the guy does get back in touch with you so you can maybe show you have grown up, own your actions, behave honestly this time and treat him how you would want to be treated. Also, get that selfish impulse under control.
Cancer Sun Gemini Moon
"During the year I started having relationship problems with my bf, so one day I suddenly thought of this guy and sent him a text from overseas to say hi."
Sounds like a game to me....you were still in a relationship and just happend to think of this guy?
|Yes I was still in a relationship and had a dream about this guy so I sent him a text. I was having relationship problems with my boyfriend for a while because his family wasn't accepting me and in my culture families play a big role so I knew we would fall through one day. I was already having family problems with him when I met this guy and started hanging out with him. Mind you I only went out with him on TWO dates and he was already talking about marriage and that scared me a bit because he didn't really know me that well. I only hung out with him and we were never physical or anything. Anyhow, ive decided to write him an open and honest email telling him the truth about what happened. I think he deserves that.|
|Your still sounding REALLY immature, NOW your sending a letterbeinghonest about what happenened?Why not a year ago after you strung him along and dissappreared?|
You had 2 choices and you ran back to the boyfriend, again keeping this other guy you abandoned on the line by texting him,
now since things fell through you are running back to your other option and your shocked he is blowing YOU off.
Your insecure, you cant be alone and your gonna seduce this guy back into wanting you, guarenteed you put a line in your email that said you couldnt stop thinking of him the entire time but you were unsure blah blah blah.
You should stay single, grow up, focus on your career and figure out what you really want.
Men are not toys for you to pick up and put down. They also arent there to complete you or validate you got to do this for yourself!
|wow, now you're really pissing me off. Don't make assumptions about people when you don't know the full details. Oh hasn't your mother ever told you if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say it. Grow up, focus on your career??? Do you even have any idea what I do for a living or what my income is?? You probably shouldn't because you'll just embarrass yourself. I didn't come on here for people to make me feel bad about myself, perhaps you should vent your frustrations elsewhere. How would I string someone along when I had only met them TWICE in my entire life?? The third time he asked me out, I politely declined and shortly after that left. If he had been so heartbroken, then he wouldn't have called me and asked me out at all (after I returned). And I didn't abandon my boyfriend, I went back overseas to make things work and he left me because his family was brainwashing him. And it's been almost a year since I broke up with my bf so it's not like I just broke up with yesterday and now need somebody else to emotionally fulfill me. What rubbish!! So there's more factors involved than you think so STOP making stupid assumptions. Sheesh, why am i even bothering to justify myself to you. This is so not worth my time!!|
|I think your responding defensively because I struck a cord of truth and that annoyed you.|
Focus on your career dudnt mean you need a better job with a better salary, it means focus on you and your career instead of playing the "whhhat happened"?
It is a real horrible thing to really care for someone & have them just carelessly end things and leave you hurt & unclear and THAT is what I was responding to.
my response is my true honest opinion and I stand by it. Also it wasnt unsolicited, you put it out there.
|although perhaps harshly expressed, i would have to agree with metoo who is only commenting on what you have written here and yeah, basing assumptions on what you've written but that's always gonna happen on dxp unless you can report every detail in full.|
the way you left him before you went back overseas set the tone for a 'i can take it or leave it' approach to him. you had other things going on in your life that were more pressing that his aries and you disappeared to deal with it without looking back or even caring how the aries took it.
then you went for a substantial period of time during which the aries was getting on with his own life no doubt.
since things got back with your ex bf, you started thinking about the aries again which smacks of needing validation from somewhere...anywhere....cos things were bad for you.
he's humoured you by responding but is now not following through and so the shoe is on the other foot. you want him but he doesn't want you. i don't understand how that can make you angry, apart from your leo ego being bruised.
think about it. you are asking a man who you have been half-hearted with to step up to the plate now that YOU are ready for him. how would you feel in his position? he put it all out there to you at the beginning and you more or less said....yeah, yeah, see you around maybe....he's not gonna do it again and to be honest, you don't have the right to expect it.
|LEOLASSIE, yes, aries man speak about marriage and commitment after one-two dates if the woman is what they're looking for. |
i was as shocked as you were when my aries man considered himself in a steady, committed relationship after our FIRST date and said out loud "i love you" after the second date...he didn't give a s**t on my timetable....it didn't even occured to him that i might be feeling different....
BUT...when i first met him, i refused his invitation for a date[i was filing my divorce back then and really didn't need dating/relationships, besides, i found him too pushy]. he didn't come in touch with me for 8 months. and then....he started pursuing me again.
i don't know if it is the same in your case.
i also can say that aries men are selfish in the way that they have their own agenda...and you take it or not...nothing you can do about it
what i would do if i were you.....i wouldn't try to contact him...no good byes, no take care masseges...