Can you all advise me on this Cap man please?
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I posted this on the Capricorn board too but I wanted to get as many different perspectives as possible, so thanks.
My story starts 20+ years ago when I was 16 and my Cap was 18. We started dating just a few months before he left for Army boot camp, and things were good except that we lived in different towns and could only see each other maybe once or twice monthly IF his mom said he was available. Before he left, he came to see me and brought a friend along with him. Friend seemed nice enough and ended up dating my best friend for awhile until she moved out of state. Fast fwd to mid July and my Cap has left for the Army. He wrote often except when he was busy with his training as to be expected. He came home for a visit in December and everything seemed just fine between us. He left again for his new duty station in Germany and despite my regular letters, I didn't hear from him for over a year. When he did finally contact me, he just apologized and said that he just kept in touch with people by phone instead of writing. I didn't have a phone so I guess I was just out of luck? Anyway, while he was calling people, I was very insecure and started hanging out with you guessed it, the friend, and we became pretty tight. Well my Cap came home to visit again and other than saying he was at fault for not keeping in touch, he didn't appear to be very bothered by it. He wasn't bothered by me hanging out with the friend either. He goes back to Germany and for a few months he's good about keeping in touch with me. BTW the friend has left for the Air Force by this time too. So I'm by myself and my Cap has fallen off the radar again. The friend did not fall off the radar however, and being the insecure, impulsive kid I was, I listened to every little sweet nothing he whispered, and fell for it hook line and sinker. To Be Continued.......
|Oh yeah, Sorry I forgot to include that I'm a Gemini. So anyway,I ended up making a very thoughtless, childish, impulsive decision that I had no business making as a naive, "head in the clouds" 17 year old and married the friend. My home life was pretty unstable and when he offered me an out I took it, thinking that "love" would keep us together. I had no way to contact my Cap except to write him a letter so that's what I did. I felt like a skeez or doing this, and still feel regret today. The friend and I were together for nearly 19 years and this marriage was a nightmare. I left him a little over a year ago. Well as fate or coincedence would have it, it's 3 months ago and my son and I are up in the mountains enjoying a day out together as we often do and lo and behold, IT'S MY CAP!!!! He and I had been living in the same state just two hours apart for 4 years!! At first he didn't recognize me, but eventually he did and remembered me. We exchanged phone numbers and began texting daily, just getting reaquainted with each other. After about a month, I drove up to see him and we had breakfast together and he gave me a tour of the county. I've not been this happy in a very long time just spending time with a man and no pressure to be somebody I'm not. The interest was mutual and we agreed to a second date very soon. To Be Continued.......|
|Well, we have been texting and calling each other every day if even just to say hi. He even started calling me pet names like "dear, darling, and sweet pea". We both have iphones and in a text one night, I invited him to download an app that acts like a walkie talkie so we could have another method of communication in between seeing each other. Then out of nowhere, he goes "So you did marry "M" huh?", and I responded "yeah, BIGGEST mistake I've EVER made in my entire life! I thought we had established this already?" No reply from him for about 5 minutes, then he replies with "Sorry to hear that. I'm sorry but here's the "lets just be friends" speech." I was shocked and replied with "I thought maybe there was a reason that we ran into each other again after all these years. I guess I was wrong. Merry Christmas and happy birthday, goodnight." He has not spoken to me for 2 weeks and ignored the couple of texts I sent him on his birthday. I honestly thought he remembered me and so he knew that I married "M" but that we split!! I never meant to mislead him in any way whatsoever, but I guess the joke's on me for assuming that he really did remember! Things were so great and we clicked again immediately! I have developed very intense feelings for him and I would like to do things right this time but he wont give me the time of day. I'm absolutely heartbroken, and havent been able to stop crying and thinking about him for more than five minutes. So what do you think? Has he frozen me out for good or should I just give him time? Did he know all along and he was just getting his revenge letting me develop feelings for him only to drop me? I'm so hurt and confused. How cruel was he to do this by text instead of face to face? I don't know whether to try to get over him and move on or risk another rejection and try to talk to him. Thoughts anyone? Everyone?|
Posted by moodyone31
Yes, we got that a quarter of the way through the OP when it started to become babble.
|People don't have an interest in reading novels in here ... try being concise within 8 sentences or less.|
Actually, here's the gist .. which is the gist of every post in here ....
..... I want him to want me, how do I make him?
|Awwwww, its funny how things turn out huh? I totally understand and see what you went through. Maybe he was hurt after finding out the truth about you marrying the other guy. Who knows? Maybe someone told him lies about you. Because he did seem interested up until he asked you if you married the other guy.Hopefully with time, he will come around. I can truly see that you love him and hope he sees that too.|
Posted by P-Angel
Speak for yourself. Some people don't mind the length because it gives relevant details and makes for less guessing of scenario's, compared to knowing exactly where the people involved stand/have reacted.
MO31: He probably needs time. If he still has feelings for you, he will reply, eventually (eventually can be ages here).
I would strongly suggest moving on and leaving life open to possibility, whether it includes him or someone else. If he comes back to late, tough butter for him. It'll obviously be difficult, but it'll have better effect in the long run, in my opinion. You'll have to keep an eye out for if he's a grown cap or a trivial cap. If he's grown, hell work towards meshing loose ends and getting back what you guys had, in a one step forward, two steps back kind of fashion, most likely.
If he's trivial, he'll probably play with your heartstrings just for a good stroke to his ego, when needed, if he felt hurt by what happened. Just keep an eye out for that.
I hope it all goes well, best of luck.
Hope to hear an update.
|Hunny i am sorry you going through all these...|
When i was 15 i got a text message by mistake for this cap man (he intended to sent it to his cousin, which funny i knew!!) but our phone numbers have just one number different so i did believe him!
Anyway we were talking every single day... then guess what lol he went to army!!! he would text for weeks then he would disappear for like a month or so, then he would text again and this story was on and off for like a year!!! In between i would arrange meeting with him, but he would cancel it off last minute.
I was devastated, but being 15-16 years old, i would just dreaming him as the prince so i would always forgive him. Then he disappeared again, and he told me he was in town. I just text him: "great then if you want us to finally meet, i will be waiting at this cafe at 8" and i said nothing else.
I didnt have my hopes up, but guess what!!! he did appeared!!! and we have been inseparable after that meeting, dated him... well he did finally broke my heart 8 years later!!! but i had such a good time with him...
We broke up 2,5 years ago and i havent seen him since then... but cap men seems that they need there time to come in terms with their feelings... when i asked mine why the disappearance every now and then, his answer was that he wanted to see if he missed me!!!
What i have learn from him is that you have to gain a Capricorn's trust before they let you gain access to their heart and if you are not patient, then you need to move on. This is not going to happen overnight and it shouldn't happen overnight... Give him time to digest that you have married his friend.... text him maybe a couple of times a week and wait.... if he doesnt reply within a month or so then move on sweetie