Pisces woman confused by mixed signal cancer man

blushingpisces
Hi! I went on a couple of dates with a cancer man I have been casual acquaintances with for the last couple of years (I was in a relationship that I ended before I went out with Cancer man). He made exhaustive efforts to find things to talk to come talk to me about when we would see each other,then he started with compliments, and once I started responding back to his compliments, he really amped up making contact with me when we aere around each other. The chemistry was CRAZY, totally attracted to each other, and we just really clicked and made each other laugh alot. I was the one to suggest we go out because it seemed like he was really struggling making that step. He was excited for us to go out. He also apologized for not asking me out first, he explained he has been out of the game for a couple of years due to being really burned by his last relationship. Our dates were awesome, and he asked me out for a third. It just seemed though he suddenly was pulling back a bit and acting a bit differently. I couldn't figure out what was going on, and out of fear, I swam away by telling him that I seemed more interested than he did. He basically said that we were in 2 different stages of life and that he isn't what I want. We agreed no hard feelings (I was bummed to hear that though!) Next day I saw him, said hello with a smile, no flirting though. I tried my best to avoid interacting with him, but he kept making the efforts to come talk to me about anything. The chemistry is still crazy,and we have so much fun talking with each other.He is once again starting up with the flirting and complimenting me. Is he playing games or is he still interested? I will not ask him out again.HELP!!
blushingpisces
Hi Ellybd,

Thank you so much for acknowledging my post! I didn't think I would get a response because I think I sound kinda pathetic! But, for some reason, this guy just has a hold on me, I can't explain it. I am a strong, tough cookie for a pisces woman when it comes to men and making sure I stay true to myself when I date a man, but I have such a soft spot for him.The mental toll it takes on my mind is exhausting, but at times is worth it when he is really kind of putting himself out there to me. I really have to practice patience (which I have NONE of!). I am very black and white, and don't like gray areas, so if things don't seem clear to me, I have no patience and have to resolve it on way or the other. Before I put a stop to us going out again, I basically held his feet to the fire and asked him point blank if he was interested or not. Looking back on it, yes, I probably kinda freaked him out being so blunt, but I had to do it because it was driving me crazy. He had already started pulling back a bit before I asked him that. But, he still asked me out after I confronted him (I never would have done that with a random guy a went on just 2 dates with). He came on pretty strong the first month, and no, I did not do anything more than kiss him. He was total gentleman.Thanks for listening to my craziness!
LouLore
Blushing, you said you swam out of fear (that he was gonna swim first?) when in reality, you liked him, the dates went great but you were afraid.

He might have felt your swimming away as rejection of him..

You should go into things not thinking about the potential of being hurt but of the potential of being loved, and having fun. Those negative feelings are only going to treetrunk you over, as they've done here.

If you want this man you need to fix this. Be kind, boost his ego, but take things where they lead you too.. Don't think to hard, don't overanalyze, let the world make it's magic between you two. Fabulous chemistry is nothing to overlook... There has to be a reason for it right?
LouLore
I am also a Pisces btw.
blushingpisces
LouLore,

You hit the nail on the head - I did put an end to it because I just really felt like he wasn't that into me, and I was afraid that yes, he would have done it eventually, so I did it first. I had to do it though. I didn't like the way things got - I'm kinda old fashioned, yes, I love doing flirty texts through the day, but when that seems like the only form of communication when we are away from each other, it turns me off. I like it if the man picks up the phone - I let him know that, but I only got a couple of calls over a 6 week period. Plenty of texts, and plenty of talking face to face when I would see him several times during the week, but he would never really reveal too much of himself to me. I wear my heart on my sleeve and my life as an open book - I just have to learn that not everyone is like that. You are also right about overanalyzing - I am totally guilty of that. I am working on trying to fix this. Do I let him know that I was afraid, or just let things be and go with it like a clean slate?
P-Angel
You say he's playing games, and you even got another poster to come in here and say "sheesh those Cancer men" ....



When in reality, you are the one who swam away out of fear .. while still wanting him.



You are the Player .. not him.
blushingpisces
Dear P-Angel,

I understand why you would say that I am the player, but it's not what you think. You also said that I said he's playing games when in fact I ASKED if he was. Maybe I chose poor wording and didn't come across the way I really feel. It felt horrible "swimming" away from him when I did. I sincerely thought that he was losing interest and I was scared. I thought I could handle still feeling attracted to him and that by limiting my interactions with him, that those feelings would go away. I also felt like at the time that he would have felt relief that I ended it so he wouldn't have to. And today, he approached me a couple of times for idle chit chat, threw in a couple of flirtations, but did not come on as strong as he did earlier this week. This is exactly why I don't understand him. One minute he seems fiery hot towards me, then another minute he seems to back off. This is all after he said to me when I put an end to us romantically "We are in different stages of our lives, I am not that close to what you want".
I do admit, I have a flaky side to me, so maybe I am missing something that I am doing that you guys could give me some insight on.
blushingpisces
Ellybd,

You're awesome!! Everything you have said is so true of me! I put my heart into absolutely everything I do, whether it's love, projects around my home, helping people with their problems, etc. And I find myself trying to gain wisdom and insight from people ahead of me in years, and I have a wide variety of friends from all types of background. But this cancer just has my head spinning, and I am finding it hard to not want to rush and let him know that I am still interested when he is showing interest in me. He loves to make me blush and I do it so easily when we talk at times. I feel like a 16 year old girl when I am definitely not!
Ellybd, I can never get enough of your insight! You rock!
blushingpisces
Ellybd,

I think that goes for all of us when it comes to beinglevel headed for everyone else but ourselves! I just hate how much I am overanalyzing my interactions with cancer guy. It's so hard for me not to. I don't know if I should be a little more flirtatious then I have been with him the last couple of weeks or just keep following his lead. My impatient side of me feels like telling him "We both know we are interested in each other and have great chemistry, so let's cut the BS", but I know I can't. I get a little panicked when I feel like he isn't laying the flirtations and innuendos on me a day after he was laying it on thick! It drives me crazy! He has mentioned to me a couple of times that his friend teases him about things he does by himself and tells him "Man, you are lonely!" Ellybd, any words of advice on what I should do when I see him next? I'm sorry, I am acting like you are my therapist! I promise I will cut down on the need for response soon!
P-Angel
Again .... you got someone to suggest that his character deserves a sheesh ... when in reality, the person who said that has no way of knowing anything abuot your Cancer man.

People, mostly women, are so subjective that if you talk about a person, they automatically think back to their experiences and then comment on yours, when really talking about theirs.

At least be wise enough to get that ... because her sheesh was about her experiences, and nothing revelant about your situation.


because in your situation .... you are the one who swam away, while he did absolutely nothing for you to do that. You swam because of your own insecurities, so there's nothing in that that deserves a, "Those cancer men. Sheesh." ... as if to suggest that he did something.


You acted hastily, in fear, based on your insecurities of what you thought he might be feeling ... that is all on you and has nothing to do with him being a Cancer man.





P-Angel
You keep talking about him giving you mixed signals, yet, describing you giving the mixed signals.


You don't even know how to interpret your own feelings ... and then you dare to tell other people how you think he feels, which is the cause for you to give him mixed signals, in which you don't even realize are mixed signals?


blushingpisces
P-Angel,

Uh, actually, he did give me reason to swim away. I thought I was pretty clear in the first paragraph, but I will explain it to you again. I mentioned he seemed to be pulling back when things were going quite nicely.He would send me wonderfully flirty and sweet text messages, even would make up a little poem and send it to me. I absolutely was following his lead, letting him know I really appreciated and enjoyed receiving those from him. I let him know that I appreciated greatly when a man calls also, not just texts. He didn't follow through with that. I would bring it up nicely several times,not nag about it, because I could feel that I was running out of patience, and he would say he would, but then the texting continued. The way I looked at it was "If he was interested in me enough, he would call" (he called just twice). Combine that with that his texts near the end, they were not graphic, but had sexual connotations to it, and that did not sit well with me. He just didn't seem the way he was when we first went out.
That being said, I have seen him over the last few days several times, and he has been more blatant about giving me attention, compliments, and even today just extended himself to help me out with something at my house.
I don't get how you think I am sending mixed signals - I haven't. So, wherever you got this idea from, is beyond me. I also readily acknowledged that I acted out of fear and insecurity, but yet you still feel the need to repeat yourself to me. And, forgive me, P-angel, for "daring" to try to figure out his feelings. Isn't this one of the things we do here, bounce ideas, theories, experiences to each other? You don't seem to offer much execept bitter sounding accusations towards me. Lighten up P-angel, life can be fun if you learn to do so. I won't be reading anymore of your responses if you should choose to chime in. I don't need only cheerleaders just being by my side and agreeing with me, I am open to people pointing out where I may have failed on my side. Seems like that's all you like to harp on though.
blushingpisces
Hi lena828,

It's funny, I was never into astrology up until recently. I am 150 freakin percent a Pisces, and the more I have checked out people that are close to me and their signs and characteristics of their sign, it's crazy how true it all seems! I'm glad to hear that Pisces men and yourself get along fine!
blushingpisces
The only 2 major relationships I've had were with a gemini (we were married for 9 years)and then a Libra. Both I got along with great and with both of them we jumped in head first from the get-go and never looked back. Never been involved with a Pisces guy though!
LouLore
Blushing, I think you're getting too much on the defense with what pangel is saying. She said similar to what I said but is also being very blunt. should take advice from either side as it's given I think since opinions have been asked for. I just mean, take it all with a grain of salt, sometimes even in harsh criticism there can be a liitle bit of knowledge gained whether the assumptions are completely right or not. I speak from personal experience.

What's happened since you initially posted this? I have been spending time with a scorp/cancer mooner so I am always curious about how us Pisces ladies are doing with those crustacean boys. Lol.

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