Forgiveness isn't really beneficial
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54 years old female from Planet Neptune
Just
| Maybe for the other person, so they can do it again ... but, it isn't beneficial to the person who is forgiving. Afterall they are the one who was slighted, or injured, or whatever was done in order to have you forgive them. Like a mother who is bat-butter crazy and no matter how many times you forgive her, she still does her crazy butter .. and you end up getting hurt again. Or a boyfriend, who hurt your feelings. They say they are sorry, you forgive them, and then they do it again. If they continue to do it, then you continue to get your feelings hurt ... how then is forgiving them beneficial to you? Perhaps, there are a few exceptions in where a person accidently harmed you in some way ... but, I'd be willing to wager that 99% of the time when you are in a position to have to forgive a person for injuring your feelings .. that this person isn't looking for self improvement in realizing what happened, rather they are looking for retribution, looking for being rewarded for saying they are sorry. The tongue can say anything ... but, if it says sorry without being sorry .. then how is forgiving that person actually helping you, when you are the one who is getting hurt in the process? |
male from Capritude
Posted by capgirl75 This. Forgiveness = not holding it against them. Separate from, but often leading to, a mutual understanding. |
54 years old female from Planet Neptune
Just
Posted by capgirl75 I understand that ... this thread is more geared towards those people who continue down the same path in letting the other person hurt them over and over by accepting an apology that was never meant. btw ... what you answered wasn't what I said, or meant. To free yourself of negative and/or hateful feelings is forgiving yourself. I'm not talking about forgiving yourself, I'm talking about forgiving the other person. There's a difference |
54 years old female from Planet Neptune
Just
The user who posted this message has hidden it. |
54 years old female from Planet Neptune
Just
Posted by M That rarely happens, though. That ^^^^ is unrealistic. People like to live in fairyland and believe it's true, but, it's not. "Forgiveness = not holding it against them." I know what forgiveness means, in fact, I went on to describe it. You stopped at one word, without grasping my concept. |
54 years old female from Planet Neptune
Just
Posted by capgirl75 Yes, yes .... you forgive the other person because you aren't holding a grudge. Now, see if you can take it further. You got the word "forgiveness" in your head, and falsely believe that I am not understanding what the word means. This topic isn't asking people what forgiveness means. It's asking ...... if you continue to forgive, just be hurt again, then how is forgiving beneficial to you, if you are the one hurting? |
Scorpio with an Aries Moon Pos
| who said forgiveness should be beneficial? it should be given without thinking you're going to get anything back. just like unconditional love  |
Scorp with a Saggie Moon. That's all yo
Posted by ellessque Yep. Forgive and release. Its simple.  |
| If someone keeps doing butter you don't like or things that hurt you, it becomes less about forgiving and more about recognizing the other person has negative traits or simply traits that don't jive with you. When you realize this, you remove yourself from the equation and feel nothing about it anymore because it has nothing to do with you. |
38 years old male
Most people strive to achieve balance wi
Posted by capgirl75 Huge plus one. That is simply...the point of forgiveness. |
female
Even After All this time The
| Sometimes you forgive because you don't wanna lose them yet. 1 more chance, and another, another... because there's that stupid hope. |
54 years old female from Planet Neptune
Just
Posted by Layna Out of all the people who responded ... ONE PERSON ^^^^^ got the point. ONE A Virgo .. yay !!! Yes, the stupid hope ... been there, done that |
Posted by MsPisces. actually, she^ is the only person who got it right. When you forgive: Forgive is defined as: giving up resentment against or the desire to punish; stop being angry with; pardon. You relieve yourself of the burden of the past. You shed the hurt, pain, anger, and loneliness. You can begin to heal. You give the person you forgive (even yourself) the freedom to live in peace and to be able to change for the better. Points about forgiveness: Forgiveness is not forgetting. The pain may not be completely gone. One can forgive and still grieve a loss or feel pain from a wound. Damage and wounds can take time to repair. Forgiveness does not deny responsibility for behavior. You have simply committed to not hold the other person in debt. source: http://www.positive-way.com/forgiven.htm ie, a family member or friend is a crackhead and has harmed you over the years due to their crackish behavior. you can choose to forgive them for being a butter and thereby releasing yourself and them from any expectations or duties. live and let live. what the OP speaks of is not forgiveness. it's foolishness. |
