Men are like Rubber Bands

leo-girl-with-cap
"Men are like rubber bands. When they pull away, they can stretch only so far before they come springing back. A rubber band is the perfect metaphor to understand the male intimacy cycle. This cycle involves getting close, pulling away, and then getting close again.

Most women are surprised to realize that even when a man loves a woman, periodically he needs to pull away before he can get closer. Men instinctively feel this urge to pull away. It is not a decision or choice. It just happens. It is neither his fault, or her fault. It's just a natural cycle.

Women misinterpret a a man's pulling away because generally a woman pulls away for different reasons.... men pull away even when the woman has done nothing wrong. He may love and trust her, and then suddenly he begins to pull away. Like a stretched rubber band, he will stretch himself and then come back all on his own. A man pulls away to fulfill his need for independance or autonomy. When he has fully stretched away, then instantly he will come springing back. When he has fully separated, then suddenly he will feel his need for intimacy again. Automatically, he will be more motivated to give his love and receive the love he needs. When a man springs back, he picks up the relationship at whatever degree of intimacy it was when he stretched away. He doesn't feel any need for a period of getting reacquainted again.

If a man does not have the opportunity to pull away, he never a chance to feel his strong desire to be close. It is essential for women to understand that if they insist on continuous intimacy, or 'run after' their intimate male partner when he pulls away, then he will almost always be trying to escape and distance himself; he will never get a chance to feel his passionate longing for love.

This rubber band analogy explains how a man may care very much about his partner but suddenly pull away. When he pulls away its not because he doesn't want to talk . Instead, he needs some time alone. It is a time for him to take care of himself. When he returns, he is available to talk."

I came across this when I was reading 'Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus' and thought that the ladies on this board will find it reassuring. I think this explains the disppearance of cappy men to some extent, alhough I would say their rubber bands are longer because they tend to be more insecure and require more 'personal space' than other men. What do you'll think???
CapGirl
That is helpful for alot of us on here, Leo-girl, and should be for your situation too. Yea, yea, Branh, you speak of "ideal circumstances" w/ an emotionally healthy and emotionally available male (i.e., a high E.Q.) but some of us on this board are obviously not dealing w/ that. It's what you are willing to accept and try to understand.
missmorals
SB are checking a cap guy?
missmorals
Lol @ capinlovewithleo..gosh thats a mouthful!..
CapGirl
The caveman philosophy which Branh is spewing is not his own... It's typical anti-female mentality which I hear coming from alot of men on another site. These men have been burned by women or cannot find a woman for a longterm relationship so they've decided to attack and separate themselves further from our "species."
taurus36
Who is the branh guy? Are you bitter? I seem to think so. It's obvious that you have been burned my friend and you want us to beleive your philosophy. Maybe some of it's true to a degree. But we are dealing with Cap men they ain't easy to deal with bud and for some of us who have a true gift of discernment, you GOT ISSUES! BIGTIME!

Women are the reason why YOU are here on this earth and on this website talking trash! Shall I pull out my Bible and break it down to you?

missmorals
Not to side with Branh but I have always thought eye for an eye....when has negotiating ever got anybody anywhere?..corrupt politicians, corrupt governments..don't get me started..but Branh there is a way of communicating your thoughts without the need to butcher anyone that differs from your opinion..
missmorals
Yeah you do have valid points..can I call you CGWL..because writing your nickname thingy is a nightmare..lol..But honestly, its those negotiations whilst sipping chickentails that lead the countries into war in the first place..if only they talked when sober!..
pathfinder
"...A real man will never keep you guessing either."
"...A real man in his earnest form is more satisfying than games and guesswork."

Gotta say, I agree, and I have one.
febpisces27
I think people who believe an "eye for an eye" have no God, religion or spirituality about them at all. Finish the statment people "An eye for an eye a tooth for a tooth, vengence is mind said the LORD" Also, a man is a man and a woman is a woman and that line should never be crossed.
missmorals
SB: Oh you WAS..oh dear..

With regards to war, drop all the guns, drop all the artillery, machinery whatever..got to war like the REAL men did back in the days..Lets see who the tough party is then...Thats what I call a fair war...blowing smaller/inferior/poorer countries to smithereens by machinery is not a show of strength but cowardice..
pathfinder
IMHO, war is about acquiring territory. The more you have, the more you have authority over. Your can enforce your influence on it. Your influence entitles you to authorize your "constitution" (beliefs, influence, laws, etc.) as you please. Wars result from one party wanting over authority over territory that "belongs" to another. Whoever wins the war, has the authority. The more territory, the more authority. In a very savage sense, i.e., Ghengis Khan, Alexander the Great, Hitler, etc. They were after territory so they could rule the world.

taurus36
Ladies!

Wouldn't you know it I had to rip my Cap a new *sshole this morning! It was nasty. I told him that I wanted to go to a concert about a month ago, well he texted me this morning to say that he was too tired and was giving the tix to a relative. First of all, I didnt know he had the tix. The concert is tonight. Why would he tell me at the very last minute he was giving the tix away???? He never even asked me if I wanted to go, BUT I'm the one who mentioned going to the concert!!! What the heck?

Had he not opened his big mouth, I would never had known and would have forgotten all about it. SO I told him that he was being a jerk and an *marker! I also told him to go to *ell!! I'm sick of the disappearing acts AND then you insult my intellegence by thinking I'm stupid. I told him I knew he would do this and bought my own ticket!!!

Well at this point I know he's pissed! I DON"T CARE!! That was wrong considering I bough ttix to see artists that he likes. We are supposed to go to SoBe in May. It ain;t happenin'!! I don't like wishy-washy people!

Ok, I was venting but tell me am I justified here? I'm still trying to figure out why he even told me in the first place

pathfinder
Someone mentioned the Bible, and as it is written, mankind was created to dominate
the earth for good, not evil. So even though the motives of mankind have been perverted, the assignment stills stands...thus, wars will continue.
taurus36
Brahn,

Be like the wind and blow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm don't know you and don't want to but you are getting on my LAST NERVES. What are you talking about? Ladies, I am about to get STUPID on this guy!!

READ THE BIBLE. Pray, meditate, do what ever you have too, but keep this board on the subject: CAP MEN!!

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