No Contact Rule - Does it really work?

Xin
Does the no contact rule actually work? If we all the sudden mysteriously disappear, wait a good amount of time before we text or call you back, or even not pick up. I've been hearing that this does work, especially for us girls that are always available and we suddenly are gone.

Guys - Has this ever worked on you?

Girls - Have you used this and it actually worked?
ReallyNiceAriesPerson
Is this an actual rule?

Maybe it is like the motorcycle helmet law? Seems obvious to some, but we have to make it a Rule just in case someone doesn't get it.

Just don't contact them.
sunshine222
I don't think it does...

I was just reading some quotes from "real men on the street" whom were interviewed and they said, "Play it too cool and evasive and we'll think you are not interested and we won't call"

That's it, it can come off as "not interested"

Or after a breakup maybe the guy/girl wants to work it out...with the "no contact" thing it can lead to mis-understandings. The guy/girl may not be contacting out of fear too...too scared to contact.

The last person I was seeing had texted me at work on Monday after the prev Friday when I had told him I would call him when I got home Friday night, it was too late, so I let it go all weekend. I was trying to be "non available, not needy and just playing it cool"
Well his text said, "You must have had too much of a good time Friday night, I haven't heard from you since"

You could say this idea above was actually working and it made him wonder about me, but it seems it just brought out insecurities.

Xin
Actually we never were together
It's just I'm too available for him. I like him, but I think I'm around too much.
RealTalk
Posted by sunshine222
I don't think it does...

I was just reading some quotes from "real men on the street" whom were interviewed and they said, "Play it too cool and evasive and we'll think you are not interested and we won't call"

That's it, it can come off as "not interested"




Exactly. That's something I had a problem with until I had to check myself. It's just my character. I can't call someone all the time because I'd grow weary of talking to them to often, doesn't mean I'm not interested, I'm just interested in other things too, lol. But with someone I'm really feeling, I initiate more. I realize how cool & collective behavior can translate into "I'm just not that into you". Lesson learned! .
i love ewe
YES!
GemsRaGalsBestPal
I think that this is difficult with all the modern technology that MAKES us always reachable. I always get upset when I see a guy friend will sit with his phone next to his plate at dinner and then tell me.... I'm not going to text her back right away, I wanna leave her hanging for a little while.

I'm always thinking..... ummn, she knows you are CONSTANTLY on your phone too. Idiot.

For me, if someone texts me I'll usually respond within the hour, but if I want be less available (or if I'm truly busy which I try to mostly always be with work and friends and such) to someone I'll just let them know I'm happy to hear from them, but I'm super busy and I'll ask them to call me later. When starting up something new I don't like to do a lot of texting... I need to hear their voice.

Being available by text and phone (with the invention of cell phones) kinda happens. I mean... you ARE always available.

However, making sure you are not to available to a guy is where not jumping and running to see him comes in. I don't agree to last minute dates. I don't want to be your after thought.

In this day and age, I find that a lot of guys (in Houston at least) need a little positive reinforcement. The trick to being unavailable is not being rude about it, always being sweet.

Here's an example of how I'd respond to texts when I'm just getting started with someone....

"Hey you, I'm so happy to hear from you! I'm running around with work and have something (I never say what it is I'm doing, leave that open for their imagination) going on tonight. No rest for the weary! Why don't you call me tomorrow evening? Talk soon!"
RealTalk
Posted by Xin
Actually we never were together
It's just I'm too available for him. I like him, but I think I'm around too much.


That can get boring fast. You should NEVER, I repeat NEVER be toooooo available for a guy. Even if you are head over treetrunking heels in love. He'd never respect you. You should always make him wonder about you. You're a Gem, you know better than that! Lol.
nimbue
Posted by RealTalk
Posted by Xin
Actually we never were together
It's just I'm too available for him. I like him, but I think I'm around too much.


You should NEVER, I repeat NEVER be toooooo available for a guy. Even if you are head over treetrunking heels in love. He'd never respect you. You should always make him wonder about you.


i agree. it's not like i believe in dating rules but this is common sense. most people place a higher value on what's hard to obtain. kinda superficial, but true. look at all those colossal waiting lists for new products out. people generally like what's exclusive.

and not too far the other way, either. you don't have to sit there screening calls and having a 2hr-textback-rule. when you're honest about your intentions, everything gets clearer. if you entertain or secretly like 'the chase', then by all means carry on. just don't complain when they're not dancing to your tune
nimbue
Posted by GemsRaGalsBestPal
I think that this is difficult with all the modern technology that MAKES us always reachable. I always get upset when I see a guy friend will sit with his phone next to his plate at dinner and then tell me.... I'm not going to text her back right away, I wanna leave her hanging for a little while.

I'm always thinking..... ummn, she knows you are CONSTANTLY on your phone too. Idiot.


Being available by text and phone (with the invention of cell phones) kinda happens. I mean... you ARE always available.

However, making sure you are not to available to a guy is where not jumping and running to see him comes in. I don't agree to last minute dates. I don't want to be your after thought.



+1 exaaaactly
P-Angel

The user who posted this message has hidden it.

P-Angel
Interesting to see who all the manipulators are .... they play the man to seek attention.
Xin
Hey look first off P, every post I've seen coming from you has either been 1. hidden or 2. something negative to say. It's not about manipulation its about making things fair. Men do this all the time. So I am personally coming out and asking a question, it's not about who is manipulating who. If that is your idea then so be it, but Id prefer not to make my posts about negativity.
RealTalk
Posted by nimbue
Posted by RealTalk
Posted by Xin
Actually we never were together
It's just I'm too available for him. I like him, but I think I'm around too much.


You should NEVER, I repeat NEVER be toooooo available for a guy. Even if you are head over treetrunking heels in love. He'd never respect you. You should always make him wonder about you.


i agree. it's not like i believe in dating rules but this is common sense. most people place a higher value on what's hard to obtain. kinda superficial, but true. look at all those colossal waiting lists for new products out. people generally like what's exclusive.

and not too far the other way, either. you don't have to sit there screening calls and having a 2hr-textback-rule. when you're honest about your intentions, everything gets clearer. if you entertain or secretly like 'the chase', then by all means carry on. just don't complain when they're not dancing to your tune


No, that 2hr text butter is ridiculous. If I want to text back right away I will, & if I'm busy I'll respond later or just honestly forget to, & respond the next day. Please, I don't give a damn what people want to call it. Manipulation, games, bullbutter, hell I'll own that. AND? It is COMMON SENSE. You should never give yourself away like that to ANY man. Hmph, it's a sure way to become a doormat & a fool.
RealTalk
Posted by P-Angel
Interesting to see who all the manipulators are .... they play the man to seek attention.


Call it whatever the hell you want. You seeked attention from the man & HE PLAYED YOU.
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