Top 10 things people LIE about in relationships
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|Here are the TOP 10 things people lie about in relationships (smh):|
1. Sexual history--How many people they've slept with. (They lie about the number of past partners, unsafe sex practices, what they have and have not done with others, their virginity, having an abortion, childhood abuse, etc.)
2. Negative Feelings towards Partner’s Family/friends (people lie about liking other people who are important to their partner)
3. Their age/weight/health
4. Time Together (people lie about the reasons why they can't spend time together or see each other ("I am so busy, I have so much work to do, I don't have time right now")
5. How much money they make, their income, inheritance, and/or resources (some even lie about their level of DEBT)
6. How they feel about an ex (they often exaggerate their dislike for them--people lie about their feelings and interest in others - often includes ex-partners, friends, someone at work)
7. How great or not the sex is!
8. Their drug use, alcohol consumption, smoking, or gambling habits
9. Enjoyment of Activities (people lie about enjoying things a partner likes to do)
10. Negative Feelings about Partner’s Physical Appearance (lovers lie about liking their partner's appearance, hair, weight, age, clothes)
11. Negative Feelings about Partner’s Career (people lie about liking or respecting their partner's job, school, career choices)
SMH SMH SMH SMH!
|P.S. I can honestly say I don't think I have ever lied about any of these things. Maybe when I was f'd up and don't remember it, but that's the only reason I said "think".|
Posted by LibraSid
You sound disappointed. I don't necessarily agree with the above post. There are some out there that will give an honest response, when asked. I see alot of couples in relationships that lie about what is posted above and what I find disappointing about that is, what chance did they really give their partner to either A. accept and support OR B. not accept and STILL support; AND/OR move on?
Posted by Archimedes
Oh this post is in NO way, shape or form symbolic of anything I'm going through. It was an interesting find that I felt I oughta share with you guys. I'm not disapponted in anything. This was just research I found. I'm not emotionally attached to this post at all. I can def. relate though to some of it b/c I've been lied to about some of those things.
Of course with anything, every single person won't apply. The shoe won't fit for everyone. This was just research that suggest the top things people will lie about in the pre-stages of a relationship IF they're willing to lie about something. And IF someone is willing to lie about some thing(s), these are the things liars (keyword) are MOST likely to lie about.
Of course there are 1 million people who won't lie about these things, but remember that for 2 million other people, the shoe absolutely DOES fit!
Posted by Archimedes
I agree. Most people lie period b/c they fear rejection or judgement. And the things I've listed above ARE kind of things that alot of people would judge them for persay they actually were honest.
BUT I think people forget that not everyone is judgemental. To 1 girl, how many sexual partners he's had may be a deal breaker, but to another she may not care. Hell, she may give him more credit for simply being honest, especially if she's used to guys lying to her about such a thing.
They said sexual orientation was 1 thing alot of women in particular lied about too. I get it, I get it, we live in a very cruel, judgemental & biased world, BUT the best part about finding love is in finding someone whom you can be truthful with & yet they STILL want/love you just as much as before!
But see, people are selfish. They would rather you fall in love with the person they are pretending to be (or not to be) instead of who they really are.
Most of the things we fear (in terms of relationships) are all in our heads. Half the time, the other person could really care less. And if they actually do care, they don't care enough to the point that it's a deal breaker. But see, to someone whose ashamed of their past or who they really are/used to be, they'll automatically/naturally go into every situation assuming that people are ready to cut their heads off; and sometimes their false assumptions hurt the relationship or chances with their partners MORE than the actual truth does!
|people lie to God everyday, what makes you think they wont lie to you|
|I agree. |
I know this is 1 of the reasons so many people are starting to shy away from dating. They're getting the "made for tv" versions of how/who people REALLY are. So many people start off lying about such little/big things & in their minds, they feel justified; they don't see it as lying, but instead as "doing what they've gotta do" to get what they want. And if they're up to it, MAYBE they'll spill the beans/confess to lying later. Doubt it.
The good thing though is that most people eventually come clean about the things they've lied about eventually, especially if they finally realize that their partners aren't as judgemental as they thought.
In the beginning stages of dating someone, I pay very close attention to the questions they ask me, especially if they're wanting my opinion on general subjects. Sometimes it's not even that they care to know your opinion in general, but moreso that they want to see how judgemental/biased or not you are on certain subjects. And depending on your opinion of certain things, people make the decision right then on what they will tell you now or later (sometimes never).
For instance, this 1 guy asked me how I felt about men who've slept with over 100 women. I was wondering why he asked me that, but I answered the question anyway. I kept it 100% real with him. I told him that I couldn't see myself dating someone whose "been had" by probably half the chicks in my town. His body language changed a bit after he heard my answer. Almost as if he was contemplating on whether or not to confess to me that he was the kind of guy that had slept with over 100 women.
Instead of coming right out & telling me, he asked a question in a certain way so that my answers would dictate whether or not he'd confess anything to me. I know this is a mindtrick many people play. They're too afraid to come right out & confess something b/c they don't want to face the heat. If after they ask the question & you respond with understanding, they probably WON'T lie about it, BUT if you answer with judgement/contempt for whatever is being talked about, it gives them a reason to justify not telling you
Posted by QLIbraMale
Oh don't even get me started on this one!
You know what, honestly...I stopped asking that question. I learned that it's all in how you word questions.
It sucks but hey, most people will take the aspect of having an std in the past, with them to the grave. They'd much rather make you aware that they're clean NOW vs. opening up to you about the time in their life when they "slipped up" or got burnt.
And to an extent, it really doesn't matter if someone has ever had an std (NON-permanent) as long as they clean now AND are taking the necessary steps to make sure they don't expose themselves to stds again (protection). Now if someone has had 5 stds in the past 2 years, I'd want to know that! At that point, F believing that "the past is the past!" If someone has shown a pattern of contracting stds over & over again, that'd be a cause for immediate concern! It'd tell me alot about the person. I wouldn't be able to trust their judgement sexually & that'd be a huuuuuuge problem!
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