| When your in a relationship, would you rather be needed by your partner or wanted? i ask because i feel like men dont want an independent woman..a woman who doesnt need to be with the but wants to be with them. they say they want an independent woman, but they end up with dependent women. i was talking to my aries bff and i told her that men secretly want a woman to need them. maybe this man is insecure, maybe, and he feels like if the girl needs him, she wont leave him. on the flip side, an independent woman doesnt really have a tough decision to make. she can pick up and leave. what do you think? |
to be needed or wanted
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31 years old
anybody else wanna be a hero? Sag S
37 years old female from A place called Happy, the journey was all about getting to know me
Pretty funny, almost always on time. I c
| Depends on the man. My mother was dependent. My father cheated on her with a woman who was independent. (They stayed married though because she WAS dependent. She thought she had no choice. I am very independent. (a direct result of the above situation) I have been left for dependent woman more times than I care to count. (full disclosure-I have been known to say "I don't need you", again a direct result of the above situation. I would prefer to be wanted. Wanted feels like he had a choice and he picked me. Needed feels like he had no choice SO he picked me. This DXP is like free therapy. My God. |
46 years old male from Llandrindod wells, Powys Wales
| for all of the times you said that you needed me now is the time that I need you just one more time for all the old times midnight Blue no trurer words were ever spoken or sung |
31 years old
anybody else wanna be a hero? Sag S
Posted by Nala13 What your wrote is exactly what im talking about. men need security and the ultimate security is having someone be dependent upon you. those girls have a tough decision whether to leave or not. so my independency is like a double edged sword. also with dependency comes a mouth and ability to verbalize what you like and dont like. for example, i told my aries bff that no man is going to take her serious (1 divorce, 2 failed relationships) because she is too independent and has worth outside of the relationship. i think that independent woman have more of a voice in their relationships than dependent women. they speak up because they dont have to take anyones butter. whereas if this guy is the provider, that girl aint speaking up. i told her to play dumb and see how much better that works for her. |
female
Maluca Sagittarius
| I rather be needed. The significant water placements I have wouldn't have it any other way. Need me like the air you breathe and the water you drink. Wanted just seems to transient for my taste. |
25 years old female
Sun-Libra/Moon-Sagittarius/Ascendant-Vir
| Certain men prefer to feel like they've got the upper hand in their relationship, so to speak. Either they gradually take steps to reduce their partner's sense of independence or as you mentioned, deliberately pursue dependent women. This way such men feel assured in that no matter how royally they fvck up, it will be overlooked thanks to their role as providers of essential resources for the spouse--in other words, vital to their s/o's ability to subsist. |
23 years old male from Somewhere, In Deep Thought
Sun Virgo 9.29 Ascendant Pis
| I dont think I like being needed...at least not every second of every minute. Independent females have this Xena warrior princess thing goin on, and its kind of a turn on.  My cancer homie has a pisces girlfriend and I be dam, its disturbing how needy she is, sheesh. It would be cool at first, but I dont think I could live with someone who cant hold their own or think for themselves. I'd lose my sanity... My seeder was dependent on my mother, so I guess it had an opposite effect on me...***shruggsprinkle |
31 years old
anybody else wanna be a hero? Sag S
| I should clarify... at first i was speaking in terms of financial dependency. but now im thinking to some extent..emotional dependency based on the answers. @ligera ....you are the air they breathe? sounds romantic and scorponic but could u honestly be with someone who threatened to commit suicide if you ever left them? to be wanted DOES feel like you are their "favorite" for the time being or season... sometimes i see couples and im like wtf?? the guy is single and the girl has 2+ kids and to some extent looks like a complete dog, a #2 all day. and im like wth!! how did she land him? cause DMV, shes not a cookiemonster like you are well, she has kids so there's the financial dependency and because she could use the extra $$ and doesnt want to muck that up, she is less likely to be a cookiemonster...she knows that her pool of potential suitors is small. this girl is more mothering, emotionally open, and above all willing. at times, ive pondered the fact that if i had 2 kids id be married by now no problem. BUT because i do for myself, for sooo long i do tend to have that warrior princess thing going on. i think im the total package but am i really? |
31 years old
anybody else wanna be a hero? Sag S
Posted by PotHeadVirgo22 mutables signs are said to be co-dependent |
23 years old male from Somewhere, In Deep Thought
Sun Virgo 9.29 Ascendant Pis
Much love to her^^^ |
31 years old
anybody else wanna be a hero? Sag S
Posted by size zero superhero yes. some do start taking away your independence little by little. for example, moving in together, getting rid of your car and even your job. |
23 years old male from Somewhere, In Deep Thought
Sun Virgo 9.29 Ascendant Pis
Posted by DMVPosted by PotHeadVirgo22 And that is why I cant be involved with someone who's dependent on me. I will probably end up losin myself in the process....treetrunk that |
31 years old
anybody else wanna be a hero? Sag S
Posted by PotHeadVirgo22 word up |
31 years old
anybody else wanna be a hero? Sag S
| back to that song...do you think that INDEPENDENT girl is the chick they marry or that chick on the side who will probably never ask them for $$ |
23 years old male from Somewhere, In Deep Thought
Sun Virgo 9.29 Ascendant Pis
| @ DMV If you have your own money, no one would have to ask. I dont think it has anything to do with being on the side. It just means instead of the male doing all work, the female can also put her 2 cents in. If I'm paying for everything, how much say so do you really have? NOT JACK SQUAT. |
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